One Simple Step (Journey Series) (23 page)

“I love you, too,” I replied, shaking my head as I looped my arm through Remy’s and weaved a path towards the doors.

Nick and I would get through this. I knew we would. It might not be easy, but we would make it work. I should’ve been honest with him from the beginning, but the fact was that I couldn’t go back and change how I handled things, so we would just move forward.

Now, I just needed to figure out what to do about Teddy. What else could I do to really get it through his head that there was no more us, and there never would be? Whatever it was, I needed to figure it out fast and be done with him. Nick was my future, and I didn’t want anything, or anyone, to come between us.

Chapter 23

Nick

What in the world was that insanely loud noise? I groaned, slapping at the side of my bed, but the noise didn’t stop. I still hadn’t opened my eyes, and I really wasn’t sure that it was even possible. It felt like there were hundred pound weights sitting on top of them, and my head—I couldn’t even describe that feeling. I don’t think I had ever drunk as much as I did last night. In. My. Life.

I rolled slightly, and then my body was falling, slamming against the floor with a loud thud, and my eyes finally popped open, the sun blinding them. “Fuck.”

After Ally left last night, Danny quickly took her abandoned chair and leaned into me. “C’mon dude, let’s go beat that fucker’s ass.”

It sounded like a good idea, really it did. But I knew the outcome wouldn’t solve anything. Ally would probably get pissed, and the guy would probably sue me or have me thrown in jail. It really wasn’t worth it. Ally was
my
girl, whether that asshole knew that or not, I really didn’t care as long as I had her, even though I wasn’t exactly happy with her at the moment.

But then I had to watch every single girl fawn all over him, going crazy because there was an actual rock star at Clammy’s. So, I took a shot, and then another…and then another. By the time I was done, I could barely stand, and I think I recall Danny and Grant bringing me home, or maybe it was Riley. I really couldn’t remember shit.

I heard that insanely loud noise again, and finally realized it was my phone. Thank God I didn’t have to work until later tonight. I rolled over, crawling around the room, until I finally found my phone that had somehow ended up in a drawer underneath my TV.

Five missed calls and three new texts. I tapped on Ally’s name since it popped up first, but then quickly hit the end button. I wasn’t so sure I was ready to talk to her yet. Plus, I’m pretty sure I was still a little bit drunk, and I didn’t want to end up saying something I would regret later.

Ally and I would get through whatever messed up shit was going on with her ex-husband, but I didn’t have to like it. I was beyond pissed that she hadn’t told me what was going on in the first place, but I think I had gotten so worked up because my own guilt was eating away at me.

I scrolled through the rest of my missed calls and realized they were all from Kara. Great. My nerves instantly went into overdrive as I tapped on her name, worried that something had happened with the baby. I had a feeling last night would be my last time drinking for a long while.

“Nick,” she huffed, answering on the first ring. “Finally. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you forever.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, panic lacing my voice as I jumped to my feet and began ripping drawers open to find clothes. “Did something happen with the baby? Are you in labor? Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“Calm down, Nick. Jeez. Everything’s fine.” I dropped down to sit on my bed, breathing a sigh of relief.

“So, what’s up then, Kara?” And why in the hell did she feel it was necessary to call me a million times?

“Well, I have something I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think we could meet up this afternoon? Maybe meet for lunch or something?”

“Um...” I scrubbed a hand over my face, not up for doing anything, but I had a feeling that I needed to do this. I wasn’t sure I was going to like whatever Kara wanted to talk about, at all. “Yeah, I guess we can meet up. Text me and let me know what you want for lunch, and we’ll meet up there.”

“Okay, see you in a little bit then.”

I took a quick shower, and went in to the kitchen, taking an aspirin and drinking a whole bottle of water before I left to meet up with Kara. She had picked a small restaurant on the other side of town, and it made me a little more at ease because I knew I wouldn’t bump into Ally since she had texted me that she was out running errands. I hated not telling her the truth, but I just hadn’t figured out how to tell her. Yeah, Al by the way...you remember my ex? Yeah, the one who was a total bitch? Well, she’s kinda pregnant, and I’m going to be a daddy soon. Sounds like a lot of fun, right?

I’m sure she would think it’s a total fucking blast.

The waitress guided me towards a table in the back where Kara was already sitting, and I slid into the spot across from her. Her belly barely fit into the booth, and she really did look like she could pop at any time. The thought made me start sweating instantly. I so wasn’t ready for this yet.

“Hey, Nick,” she greeted me quietly as I opened the menu and then shut it without even looking. I definitely couldn’t eat anything. “You’re looking a little rough. Late night with your little girlfriend?”

I rolled my eyes. “Not really any of your concern, Kara. So let’s cut the shit, what’s going on?”

“Well, you see, it is my concern. Do you really think I want you raising
our
baby, when you’re out getting drunk, and screwing around with that trashy girlfriend of yours?”

I sat up straighter and then leaned across the table. “Ally is anything but trashy. And I’m pretty sure that baby is
mine,
not
ours.
” I waved my hand between the two of us, and she shook her head.

“Well, actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve been thinking a lot.” She tapped her fingers on the table as she paused. I had a feeling I knew what was coming, but I really didn’t want to hear her say the actual words. Those words would change everything. “I want to be a part of our baby’s life, Nick. I’m not giving her up.”

I sucked in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as she silently stared back at me. I knew it. The little comments that she had been making were my first clue, and then she started accumulating things, like outfits and tiny shoes.

“We can either raise her together, Nick, or we can come up with some kind of arrangement. I know you’re in a relationship, but...” She let her sentence hang as I slammed my hand down on the table and squeezed my eyes shut. How could this be happening?

Why couldn’t she just—no, I couldn’t think that way. I had to put my feelings aside, and think about my daughter. She was the most important thing in this whole situation. She deserved the best. And if having two parents raising her together was the best, then that’s what I was going to have to do, even if it ripped me apart from the inside out and left me a shell of a person. That’s what I was going to have to do. Now, I just had to figure out how to destroy the perfect world that Ally and I lived in together, because the
us
that there was supposed to be…could be no more.

Chapter 24

Ally

I slammed my car door shut, and jumped when I turned around and saw Nick standing there. I hadn’t heard from him all day, other than a short text earlier to let me know that he was hung over and planned on sleeping it off. “Jeez, way to scare the hell out of me. Aren’t you supposed to be heading into work right about now?”

He shook his head, and backed up when I took a step closer to him. “Did you end up calling in? Because no offense, but you still look a little…well, you look like shit.”

And he did.

His normally tan skin was a couple shades paler, he had deep bags under his eyes, and he looked like he was sweating slightly. I reached forward, pressing my hand to his forehead to see if maybe he was coming down with something, mixed with his hangover of course. He brushed my hand away, and then shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Listen, Ally. We need to talk.”

“Ok-ay,” I dragged out. “Well, do you want to come up? Maybe I can make you some soup or something because you don’t look that great.”

“No.” He shook his head sharply, his eyes dropping down to stare at the ground. “Things aren’t working out, Ally.”

I swallowed over the lump in my throat that had suddenly formed. My ears really weren’t hearing right because it almost sounded like he was trying to break up with me or something. That wasn’t possible, it couldn’t be possible. We were happy. Perfectly happy, I thought.

“What do you mean, Nick? Things aren’t working out at work or something, because that’s not a—”

He held up a hand, cutting me off. “No, things between us aren’t going to work out. I have some shit going on right now, and I think it’s better if we just end things.” He scrubbed a hand over his face roughly, and I leaned back against my car as my whole body began to shake. I couldn’t believe what he was saying, I just couldn’t.

“Nick, whatever it is, we can get through it together. I know something’s been bothering you lately, why can’t you just tell me what it is? I promise, we can take care of whatever it is together. Just don’t do this to us. Please,” I added, hating that I sounded almost pathetic, but how could things just be over, just like that with us?

A single tear rolled down my cheek, and I know he saw it. A pained look crossed his face before he squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head, and then reopened them. For the first time since meeting him, his blue eyes looked almost…emotionless. “No, Ally. I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he interrupted me. “Look, Ally…I’m…I’m getting back together with Kara,” he said in a flat tone, and my world seemed to be pulled out from underneath me.

My gut told me something was going on between them when I had seen that message on his phone that day. I just didn’t want to believe it. I would have never imagined that Nick was the kind of guy to do something like this to me. I guess I trusted the wrong instinct.

I thought when I caught Teddy cheating on me it that had been the worst moment in my life. But this…it didn’t even compare. I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I collapsed to the ground, the tears not stopping this time as a loud sob broke through my lips. Nick dropped down in front of me, looking like he wanted to touch me, but I held up my hands. “Please, don’t touch me,” I managed to say, before wrapping my arms around myself and looking back at him through blurry eyes.

He stood up slowly, stuffing his hands into his pockets, like he was trying to keep himself from reaching out for me. “I’m sorry, Ally,” he said in a hoarse voice, turning away. “I didn’t want to ever hurt you.”

I sniffed loudly, wiping at my eyes. “But you did, Nick.” He turned back around, but I shook my head. “Please, just leave me alone. Please.”

I heard the engine of his bike start up, and I listened until it slowly started to fade away. I knew I would never see Nick again. No matter how hard it would be, I hoped that I never did. I guess I always expected the cheating from Teddy, but from Nick…I never expected something like this from him. Nick was different. At least I thought he had been. Nick was…Nick.

I don’t know how long I ended up sitting there like that, letting the tears flow until I think they eventually ran out. My insides felt like ice. I eventually stood up and dragged myself up the stairs, mechanically unlocking the door, changing into a t-shirt, and pulling the comforter over my head after I climbed into bed.

It wasn’t until I was drifting off to sleep that I realized what I had done. I inhaled deeply, smelling the scent of Nick on the t-shirt of his that I had put on, and somehow fell into a comfortable, dreamless sleep.

Nick

I had to pull over after I left Ally like that. I knew if I didn’t, I would’ve probably ended up wrecking my bike. I could barely see through the haze of tears clouding my vision.

I kicked at the gravel on the side of the road, pissed at myself, mad at this whole situation. I felt like a jackass for leaving Ally like that, looking almost broken. I wanted to scoop her up in my arms, tell her that everything was going to be alright, that I would fix this. But I couldn’t. There was nothing that I could do to fix this, and I needed to come to grips with that.

The baby would be here soon, and I wanted things to be ready for her as much as they could possibly be, so I know what I had to do, even though my head was telling me to do the exact opposite. So, instead of heading back towards Ally, where my heart belonged and would always belong, I headed towards my future. The future that no matter how much I wanted it to change was set in stone, and already rolling in motion. Now, I just needed to figure out how to live with the choice that I had made.

“I think that’s the last of all of her shit.”

I glared at Danny, wiping the sweat off my forehead, as I looked around my house, hating that everything I saw belonged to Kara. This should be Ally’s stuff invading all of my space. I shook my head as I took a big gulp of water. Those thoughts had been eating me alive for the past two weeks since my world had been flipped upside down and back again. I really needed to stop doing it; it wasn’t going to change anything.

Danny wasn’t helping at all either. I thought he was going to kick my ass when I told him that Kara was moving into my house. After I explained to him that I had to do what I had to do, he smacked me upside the head, and told me I was an idiot. “You know I was raised by a single parent, right?” He spread his arms out wide. “And I turned out pretty damn good. Why do you think you need to raise the baby together?”

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to rethink my decision. What’s done was done. I had showed up to Kara’s house, and told her that Ally was out of the picture, and that we were going to do what was right for our daughter by raising her together. She agreed without missing a beat, and then I told her we were moving into my place. There was no way in hell that I was giving that up too, and to my surprise, she hadn’t argued.