One Tuesday Morning (49 page)

“Thanks.” She smiled and shifted her gaze back to the road ahead of her.

The morning traffic was light, so the drive took less time than usual. They found a spot in the parking garage and made their way to the security checkpoint, where the airport had created a waiting area for guests, who since September 11 could no longer go all the way to the gate without a boarding pass.

Jamie looked at her watch and led Eric to a quiet place near a wall of windows at the back of the waiting area. Laura Michaels' United Airlines flight was supposed to land in three minutes.

They faced each other, leaning against the windows with less than a foot separating them. Jamie reached into her bag and pulled out a wrapped package. The ache in her heart had spread to her arms, and the gift felt like it was made of lead. “Here.” She handed it to Eric. “It's an early Christmas present.”

Eric took the bag and for a long time he looked at her, lost in her eyes. Jamie wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Not yet. She nodded to the package in Eric's hands, and finally he glanced down. He peeled back the paper and tossed it in a nearby trash can. Inside the package was a bound set of pages. Blue letters across the top page read only this: “In case you ever forget …”

He opened the cover page, and Jamie heard his breath catch in his throat. She had copied dozens of pages from Jake's journal—key entries about the importance of fatherhood and the joys of being married to his best friend. At the back were another twenty or so pages, copies from Jake's Bible, complete with the shaded highlighting and scribbled notes in the margin.

His eyes met hers again, and he needed no words. He clutched the bound document to his chest and pulled her close. “Jamie … I'll never forget you. Not you or Jake.”

She lifted her head, desperate to keep from breaking down in this, their final moment. “You're so much like him, Eric.” Her smile was genuine, growing from someplace that, despite her sorrow, could understand the value all their time together had wrought. “One day in heaven the two of you will have to have a long talk.”

A rush of people began to make their way past the security gate, and Eric turned. Jamie watched him, wondering if he could see his wife yet. Then he pointed, his voice thick. “There she is. Near the back.”

He faced Jamie once more and their eyes held. This was it … in a few minutes he'd be gone from her life forever. “I love you, Jamie. I'm a different man because of you. Because of Jake.”

She listened, still stunned by how easily he could've
been
Jake. She could feel the tears building within her, but she only nodded at him. “Go, Eric.” Jamie cast a glance toward the blonde woman, getting closer to the waiting area. “She's looking for you.”

Eric nodded. “Do you want to meet her?”

“No.” Jamie struggled to find her voice. “I'll leave quietly. Besides … the two of you have a plane to catch.”

“Okay.” He worked the muscles in his jaw, his eyes still searching hers. “Kiss Sierra for me, will you?”

Jamie gave a quick nod, and the moment faded. Eric hugged her once more, a long hug, the last they would ever share. Then, without saying another word, he turned to leave. Jamie watched him work his way through the crowd of waiting people, until finally his wife spotted him. The blonde woman hurried her pace, her mouth open in a kind of unbelieving shock. The two of them came together, and Eric swung her in his arms.

Jamie felt something pierce her heart, and the tears came then.

She blinked so she could see clearly, and she watched the woman kiss him square on the mouth. For a moment they spoke to each other, their faces inches apart, lost in the moment despite the milling passengers making their way around them.

Then the woman linked her arm through his, and without looking back, Eric led her toward the security line where they would pass through before boarding their plane.

“Good-bye, Eric … take care of her.” Jamie whispered the words and then slowly, her soul aching, she turned her back on the man she'd thought was her husband, the man who—because of Jake—had taught her to love God, and live without fear. The man who—because of Jake—had learned how to love again.

She passed a hundred people and saw none of them. Every step took her farther from the delusion that somehow she could keep Jake alive, that by living with Eric she still somehow had a piece of Jake.

Six minutes later she walked out of the airport and into her new life—the one where she would only have Jake's words to remind her of a man whose love would stay in her heart a lifetime. A love that no terrorist attack could ever take away. One that had continued to live within her, growing her and changing her. And not just her, but Eric Michaels, as well. A love that would live on long after the rubble from September 11 was cleared and hauled away.

A love so great it lived even now.

Jamie drove with the window open, and the breeze mingled with her tears and stung at her cheeks. She allowed herself to grieve the loss of not just Jake, but Eric and the tangible presence of her husband's love—even as it had played out in the life of a stranger.

She had to find Sierra now, had to tell her that her daddy was dead. The words she was about to say would be the most difficult in all her life, words she knew would've killed her if not for the time she'd spent with God that day, those past months, hanging on to Him for dear life. Her strength came from Him alone, from the truth she'd gained by reading Jake's Bible.

A truth she could hear Jake whispering in her heart even now.

She pulled up in front of the Hennings house, parked the car, and forced herself up the sidewalk. In the end it had been the right decision, keeping the truth from Sue and everyone else. Accepting it had been hard enough for her and Eric. And telling anyone would've opened up potential situations neither of them wanted to deal with. Not that Sue would've called the newspapers. But word would've gotten out, and then what? That wasn't what they'd wanted. And by keeping the news to themselves, they'd been able to focus on what was important—helping Eric find his way home.

Jamie ordered her feet to climb the Hennings' porch steps. In some ways she couldn't truly grieve Jake's death until now, when she could share it with everyone else who made up her world.

She knocked on Sue's door and took a slow breath.
Give me the strength, God … please
.

The door opened and Sue appeared. Her smile faded as soon as the two of them made eye contact. “Jamie … what is it?” Sue's voice was breathless, her eyes filled with fear.

Jamie only held up her hand and swallowed back another sob. “Give me … let me talk to Sierra first. Okay?”

Sue hesitated for only a moment. Then she hurried back into the house and returned with Sierra. The child stopped, her eyes wide when she saw that her mother was crying. “Mommy, what's wrong?”

Jamie held out her hands and picked Sierra up the way Jake had always done. The way Eric had done. One day, when she was old enough to understand, Jamie would explain about the man who had lived with them after the attacks on New York City. But for now, the simple delayed truth was all the child would understand.

“Baby … Mommy has some sad news to tell you …”

T
HIRTY
-F
IVE

D
ECEMBER
5, 2001

Eric hadn't stopped talking since Laura met him at the airport. The whole way back to Los Angeles, he caught her up on all that happened to him since he woke up in the New York hospital.

Laura was dumbfounded by the story. “So you really thought you were this … this Jake Bryan?”

“I didn't know any different.” Eric took hold of her hand, and she tried not to look shocked. How long had it been since he'd held her hand? Laura couldn't even remember, but she dared to hope that maybe … just maybe he'd had a change of heart living with this Jamie woman.

He launched into another chapter of the story, the part where he'd found the dead man's journal and Bible. “For two weeks all I did was read that thing. I memorized everything about what it meant to love my family and care for the people around me.”

Laura wasn't sure what to say. “Jake was a great guy, huh?”

“Better than great.” Eric looked around as though he were searching for the words. “He loved God so much, Laura. So much. And everything about his life and his family was a reflection of that love.”

Constantly throughout the conversation, Laura had to remind herself she wasn't dreaming. It was one thing to have the shock of finding out Eric was alive. And another altogether to dare to dream he'd become the man of her dreams while living the life of a man she'd never met.

They were crossing Arizona by the time Eric finished the story. “So what I want to say, Laura, is … I'm sorry.” He drew close to her and kissed her slowly on the lips.

Again she had to convince herself that the moment was real. Eric never kissed her like that, not in years. He pulled back some and studied her eyes.

“I remember now, and I know how awful I've been.” His eyes narrowed, and the pain there was something he'd never let her see before. “And I remember Sarah.”

Tears filled her eyes as soon as he spoke her name. “I never knew …” She shook her head. “I found the card you'd written for her. I … I thought I'd never get to talk about her with you.”

“I should've told you sooner, worked it out with you.” He pulled her close again and held her, unaware of the flight attendants or passengers or turbulence as they headed over California. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Laura leaned back and wiped at her eyes. “We have so much to work through. Of course I forgive you, Eric.” She sniffed and held her breath, refusing the sobs that gathered in her throat. “You never gave me a chance.”

They talked more after that, and Eric told her everything he remembered about losing little Sarah and turning his back on God. For Laura it was like having her first drink of water after a decade in the desert. The feeling was more miraculous than anything she could've imagined.

Nothing about it wore off that first day. When Eric walked through the door of their home, Clay was there, and he hugged Eric long and hard while Josh stood quietly in the background. “Clay …”

“We thought …” Clay squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on Eric. “We thought you were dead, big brother.”

Laura watched the brothers hug through teary eyes. Clay's feelings had to be mixed. Of course he was thrilled that Eric was alive. The two had miles of ground to make up. But there was something painful about the entire situation as well, something Clay hadn't voiced to her, and probably never would.

But whatever he was feeling, he was careful to hide it now that Eric was home.

When the two men pulled apart, Laura watched Eric take a step toward Josh. The child looked frightened, as though he were seeing a ghost. Or maybe he was simply scared by the change in Eric. Laura had tried to warn him the night before.

“Daddy's coming home,” she'd told him. “He's got a hurt face, and he might look a little different.”

Josh hadn't said much. Clearly Josh wasn't altogether sure he wanted his father back. After all, the man had done little over the past years but hurt his son with broken promises and a lack of affection.

Now Eric's voice was thick as he stooped down to the boy's level. “Come here, Josh.”

Laura watched their son and did what she could to remember to exhale.
God … let things be different between them … please
.

Josh blinked and stared at the floor for a moment. Then with short tentative steps he made his way to Eric. Laura willed him to keep moving toward his father. As he did, Eric smiled in a way that once again made Laura think she was dreaming. The old Eric would never have taken time to single out their son, not unless he was in trouble.

Josh stopped a few feet from Eric. “Yes, sir?”

Eric held out his arms, and as he did, a confused look fell over Josh's face. Eric closed the gap between them and pulled him into a hug that lasted half a minute. Afterwards, he drew back and kissed his son on the cheek. “I love you, Josh. I haven't told you nearly enough, but I love you.”

Josh looked at Laura and raised his eyebrows. Laura didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The poor child had no idea what to make of the change that had come over his father.

He shrugged and met Eric's eyes again. “Thanks.”

Eric was undaunted by Josh's ambiguity. He grinned and gave Josh another quick hug. “How 'bout a bike ride tonight? Me and you and Mom …” Eric shot a smile at Clay. “And Uncle Clay if he wants.”

Clay cleared his throat and stepped forward. “Actually, I was just leaving.” He smiled at Eric and patted his shoulder. “You and Laura need time alone together.”

“Okay … but come back tomorrow. I want to have a barbecue for all of us.” He looked at Laura and held her gaze. “And let's call my dad. I want him to know things are different now. Time's too short to waste.”

He looked back at Josh. “And guess what? I learned how to jet ski, buddy. I can't wait to teach you. But first we have our bike ride tonight …”

Through it all, Josh only stared at him, his mouth open. Laura could see in his eyes something that hadn't been there before, not as far back as she could remember.

Something that looked an awful lot like hope.

Eric made good on his promises that evening, and for enough days in a row that finally Laura actually believed it. A miracle had taken place, a miracle only God Almighty could've brought about. And all because the words of one very special man had taught her husband everything he needed to know about love and faithfulness.

Laura wondered about Jake Bryan.

Because the story of her life wouldn't be complete until some far-off day when she would find him on the streets of heaven and thank him for the footprints he'd left behind.

Footprints she was starting to believe Eric would follow until the day he died.

T
HIRTY
-S
IX

S
EPTEMBER
11, 2002

A year had passed since the terrorist attacks, and summer had blended quickly into fall. Somehow Jamie had survived it, survived telling the truth to the guys at the station and breaking the news to Jake's father when he returned from his cross-country trip. She had kept her promise to Eric and refused to tell his identity to anyone who asked, even the few reporters who had managed to call her after news of Jake's death was reported in the paper.