One Word From God Can Change Your Family (9 page)

Chapter 13

Willie George

A Discipline That Blesses

“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”

—Proverbs 29:17

What is the best gift you can give your children in troubled times?

Without a doubt I believe it is godly character. A sensitive spirit and persevering character will steer your children through anything troubled times can throw at them.

The discipline to develop godly character will not always be convenient or comfortable for you or them. But if you will commit yourself to scriptural discipline, your children will honor and bless you and they in turn will be blessed with godly character and long lives.

Proverbs 29:17 promised that if you
“correct thy son...he will give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”
This is not stating a possibility. It’s a fact.

Your discipline gives your children the opportunity to honor and obey you, which opens the door to blessings for them. Ephesians 6:1-3 says,
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

First, discipline that blesses will teach your children to be responsible—how to work, how to finish a job and how to handle money. There is an old Jewish proverb that says, “If you don’t teach your child a trade, its the same as if you taught him to steal.”

A child can pick up a lot of things naturally. But you probably know by now that work is not one of them. It shouldn’t surprise you, then, that training your child to do a job well will be harder work for you than for them. You have to stay with them if you are going to establish the standard.

You may think,
Staying with them takes too much time. I could do this quicker myself.
But you are not doing your children any favors by not letting them finish the job right.

One of our sons went through a time when he would not get his schoolwork done. He came home with bad papers. We spanked. We scolded. We told him to do his homework. But nothing worked.

Finally, we made the commitment to inspect every lesson, lesson by lesson. It was as much work for us as it was for him! But we stuck with it until we developed a habit in him.

No quick fix could bring out the right behavior. No drastic shock treatment was called for. What he needed was his parents to be committed to staying with him, watching over his work and making him give an account.

Your children need you to stay with them until they have finished a project—whether it be a chore, a school assignment or sticking out baseball season. You need to inspect the finished work and be ready to commend them when it is done correctly. When it’s not, show them how to do it right and have them go at it again. Don’t let them give up. Teach your children how to derive satisfaction from a job well done.

Another responsibility your children need to be taught is how to handle money. If you don’t want money to control your children, then you need to teach your children to control money. Don’t give them a lot of money to spend foolishly. Teach them how to earn it, save it and tithe it.

Tithing will teach them how to manage their finances—it will bring wisdom in handling money.

Second, discipline that blesses exalts character. All of us love to praise our little children when they sing pretty, recite poetry and look cute or handsome in their dress-up clothes.

But as they grow older, they need praise for their character—not just their God-given talents and abilities.

You can do this in some simple ways. For instance, you can clap just as enthusiastically when your son returns from carrying out the trash as you did when he hit a home run.

Impress on your children that the winners in life are those who have the most character. Then even when they have been unfairly treated, they will stick to their goals. They will wind up on top of the heap when everyone else has quit.

A lot of reason God has allowed me the impact and ministry I have with kids today is that I don’t know how to quit—something I never picked up naturally.

I went to live with my uncle as a rebellious 17-year-old. He put me to work and made me finish every job. And he inspected everything I did.

To get me through college, he and I got into the hay-hauling business. It developed character I never had. We went to work earlier, stayed later and stacked our hay higher than the competition.

I wanted to quit, but my uncle wouldn’t let me. Eventually I developed such satisfaction out of doing a job well that if my uncle had to leave for an emergency, I’d go ahead and finish hauling the hay myself.

That helped me later in life with projects and goals such as the
Gospel Bill Show.
I didn’t meet with instant success. It seemed that nobody wanted to help us. We’d sent out tapes and nobody returned our calls. Even my own kids didn’t respond well to the show. They saw it once but didn’t want to watch it again! The lack of response was almost discouraging.

But I knew what God said and I didn’t quit. The teaching not to quit put me over. Many people don’t have that quality in their lives because nobody ever pushed them and drove them to finish.

Third, discipline that blesses you and your children will involve lots of hugs. Show your children affection. Let them know you love them whether they perform well or not. They should not have to earn your love based on their successes or failures.

Demonstrate your love. Hug your kids. And that includes your boys. It’s not true that hugging is a sign of sissiness and that it’s not masculine to hug your boys. Boys need hugs, too. If you’ll give your kids the love and affection they need at home, you’ll prevent them from desiring to go find it in the world. A lot of young girls are willing to give their bodies over to some boy before marriage because they’re looking for the affection and hugs their daddies never gave them. A lot of teenage boys are looking for the kind of commitment out of a girl that only a future wife can give because they don’t get affection at home.

I’ve hugged my kids so much, that when I walk in the door all three of them will run to hug daddy. One of my sons even stops playing his video game sometimes to do it. Now, when he stops playing a video game, you know he’s expressing affection!

The fourth thing you need to do if your discipline is going to bless you and your children is to correct them when they rebel. This is not punishment. Criminals, you punish. Children, you correct.

Correction should be in proportion to the infraction and appropriate to the age of the child. You don’t beat a baby’s bottom with a fine board. Nor will swats convince an 18-year-old he shouldn’t have stayed out past curfew.

Find what speaks to each child. You might have to put up with a little crying from a baby who doesn’t want to go to bed. Or the car and dating privileges may have to be taken away from a disobedient teenager.

In the in-between ages, where they are old enough to correct with a rod, remember that training with a rod is scriptural. Proverbs 13:24 says that
“he that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
Of course, you don’t hate your children, but if you refuse to correct them, it will have the same impact on them as if you did.

Your correction should not be given in anger. Proverbs 22:8 says,
“He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity: and the rod of anger shall fail.”
If your child gets the spanking strictly because you’re angry, he’ll begin to think that every time he gets a spanking it’s because you’re mad and not because he’s done wrong. He will relate correction, not to his behavior, but to your attitude.

Discipline will not be fun for you or your child, but it will yield peace. Hebrews 12:11 says,
“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

What you want to do is create a sensitive spirit in your child. You want your children to be bothered when they do something wrong. You’ll know you’re doing well when they’ve done something and can’t hide it.

This won’t happen overnight. It will require consistency. It will require a commitment. But the rewards are great. Never forget: Your partnership with God will always help you to train up your children in troubled times. With God, you will succeed!

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Jesus. Your Word says, “Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Acts 2:21). I am calling on You. I pray and ask Jesus to come into my heart and be Lord over my life according to Romans 10:9-10: “If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” I do that now. I confess that Jesus is Lord, and I believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead.

I am now reborn! I am a Christian—a child of Almighty God! I am saved! You also said in Your Word, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: HOW MUCH MORE shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:13). I’m also asking You to fill me with the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I fully expect to speak with other tongues as You give me the utterance (Acts 2:4). In Jesus’ Name. Amen!

Begin to praise God for filling you with the Holy Spirit. Speak those words and syllables you receive—not in your own language, but the language given to you by the Holy Spirit. You have to use your own voice. God will not force you to speak. Don’t be concerned with how it sounds. It is a heavenly language!

Continue with the blessing God has given you and pray in the spirit every day.

You are a born-again, Spirit-filled believer. You’ll never be the same!

Find a good church that boldly preaches God’s Word and obeys it. Become part of a church family who will love and care for you as you love and care for them.

We need to be connected to each other. It increases our strength in God. It’s God’s plan for us.

Make it a habit to watch the
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