Only You (23 page)

“I realize that.”

“I only want what’s best for her.”

“This is what’s
best,
Mr. Grey.  Trust me.  I am older and wiser than you, and my emotions are not involved.  I’m in a better position to guide you, while
you
are in no condition to guide yourself—or Theo.”

“Too true…” he muttered, and he walked off. 

“Goodbye, Mr. Grey.”

He waved but didn’t reply.  He trudged into the villa and was swallowed up by the shadows.

She sat for a minute, trying to feel a rush of satisfaction, perhaps a bit of triumph in having vanquished him, but although she knew she’d charted the only logical course, Theo would be inconsolable.

Edna was a cold, hard woman, but she liked her niece.  It would kill Edna to watch the anguish that was coming, but some things couldn’t be helped.  Some misery couldn’t be avoided.  Some hearts had to be broken before they could begin to heal.

She gestured to the porters, and they carried her away.

T
heo was pacing across
the sitting room in her hotel suite, her bag packed so she could grab it on her way out.  When she’d staggered to bed after her quarrel with Edna, she’d told herself she’d just close her eyes for a few minutes, that as soon as dawn broke, she would leap up and hurry to Valois’s to confer with Soloman.

But the emotional night of trysting and fighting had taken its toll.  She’d slept deeply and soundly and much longer than she’d intended.  After she’d finally roused, she’d washed and eaten, then she’d sent a note to Soloman, begging him to come at once.

Every time she heard the slightest noise, she jumped, certain it was Soloman marching down the hall, but so far he hadn’t arrived.

Much to Theo’s surprise, Edna hadn’t been present to stop her from writing to him.  Susan was present though, and she was impeccably dressed—as if she had an important appointment.  She was very nervous, and she kept going out onto their small balcony to stare at the Nile, then she’d step inside.  Before too many minutes had passed, she’d walk out to the balcony again.

Theo might have asked what was bothering her cousin, but after her comments about Soloman, Theo didn’t care what problems Susan might be suffering.  Susan had made her opinion about Theo very clear, and Theo was happy to reciprocate.

They were cousins, yes, but they’d never been friends and had rarely visited each other as children.  Theo was tired of pretending they were cordial.

There was a brisk knock on the door, and her pulse raced.  She whispered a quick prayer that it would be Soloman.

“Are you expecting someone?” Susan asked.

“No,” Theo responded.

She went over, pulling the door open to see the servant from the lobby to whom she’d given her letter.  He was holding it in his hand.

“Yes?” she inquired.

“I had my very fastest runner convey your message, Lady Theo.”

“And…?”

“He brings the reply that Mr. Grey has left Cairo.”

She gasped with astonishment.  “Left?”

“That is what we are told, so the letter could not be delivered.  It has been returned to you by Monsieur Valois’s butler.”

“Did the man say where he is?”

“No, milady, just that he would be away from the city for many weeks.”

Theo actually collapsed slightly, and she had to clutch the doorframe to maintain her balance.

“Thank you,” she managed.

She took it from him and lurched over to the sofa.  In all her fretting, it had never occurred to her that he wouldn’t come, that he wouldn’t save her.  She felt as if the world had tipped off its axis, as if the floor was crooked and if she tried to stand, she’d simply fall over.

“Uh-oh,” Susan murmured, and she seemed amused by Theo’s plight.  “It sounds like bad news.”

“Shut up, Susan.”

“I could swear Mother predicted this would happen.”

“Shut up!” Theo insisted more tersely.

“If he’s behaved like a cad, I’m not surprised.”

Theo might have slapped her cousin.  She was that angry, but Edna entered, preventing any outburst.  She was wearing her bonnet and shawl, so she’d been out of the hotel.  Theo didn’t greet her, and Edna didn’t comment either.

“Where have you been?” Susan asked.

“I’ve been at the docks, booking our passage,” Edna replied.

“Our passage to where?”

“We’re sailing for England in the morning.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow.  I would appreciate it if you girls would arrange your things so the maids can get in and pack your bags.”

“Isn’t this rather sudden?” Susan said.

“Yes, Susan, it’s very sudden.”

“I don’t wish to leave just yet.”

“It’s not up to you.”

A wave of fury rushed through Theo.  It had her rising to her feet and pointing an accusing finger at her aunt.  “This is all your fault.”

“What are you talking about, Theo?” Edna said.

“I sent Soloman a note, but the messenger returned it.  He informs me that Soloman has left Cairo.”

Edna’s expression was resigned and stoic.  “I won’t say I told you so.”

“You did something to him.”

“What could I have
done
to Mr. Grey?  I hardly have any control over him, and as to his whereabouts, I’m quite sure I’m the last person who would ever be apprised.”

“You intercepted the letter, didn’t you?” Theo raged.  “It wasn’t sent, was it?  You’re trying to trick me.  You’re trying to make me doubt him.”

“You’re being absurd.”  Edna spun to Susan.  “Will you arrange your things or not?  I have business to transact, and I would be grateful for any help you can supply.”

“I’ll help you, but I must admit I’m aiding you under protest.  Theo’s a fool, but I fail to grasp why it should ruin the remainder of our holiday.  We’re supposed to stay for several more months.”

“Well, there’s been a change of plans.”

Without speaking to them, Theo stomped over to the door and yanked it open.  Before she could exit the room, Edna asked, “Where are you going?”

“I’m positive Soloman hasn’t left.  He’s at Valois’s, and he’s unaware that I attempted to contact him.”

“So go, if you must.”  Edna smirked.  “In fact, I’ll go with you.  I’m eager to see the look on your face when you’re forced to realize what a cad he is.”

“He isn’t a cad.”

“Theo, you need to calm yourself.  If you arrive at Valois’s and he’s not there—as I’m certain he won’t be—I truly fear for your mental state.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my mental state.”

She dashed down the hall and continued down the stairs to the lobby and out to the driveway where the porters waited with their chairs.  She was climbing into one, giving directions, when Edna climbed in behind her.

“You’re not coming with me,” Theo fumed.

“And I’m not about to let you travel there alone.  If you don’t want to suffer my company, then request the hotel provide a maid for you.  You may be happy to gallivant across the city on your own, but so long as I’m cognizant of your penchant for risky conduct, you won’t be allowed to do it again.”

They engaged in a staring match Theo couldn’t win.  She could have huffed inside and demanded a maid be pulled from her duties. But it would delay her, and she was desperate to get to Valois’s as fast as she could.

“Fine,” she muttered, “but I won’t listen to a word from you.  If you start to lecture me, or if you make one snide remark about Soloman, I will jump out and walk.”

“My lips are sealed.”

Theo signaled to the porters, and they took off at a run.  She blindly gazed out at the passing scenery, at the crowds and vehicles and animals.  A very uncomfortable hour later, they were at Valois’s.

A footman rushed over to help her alight.  Edna stayed in the chair.

“Lady Theo,” he graciously said, “this is a marvelous surprise.”

“Is Monsieur Valois at home?”

His smile slipped.  “I am sorry, milady, but he is not.”

“When will he return?”

“Not for several days.”

“Actually, I’d like to see Mr. Grey.  Is he available?”

“No, milady, Mr. Grey is gone too.”

“And when will
he
return?”

“I can’t say exactly, Lady Theo, but it will be many weeks.”

“When did he leave?”

“Just after dawn.  He had a customer to ferry, and they are traveling very far.”

“That can’t be right,” she murmured, sick with dread.

The butler came out, and he waved the footman away.

“Lady Theo, welcome,” the man said.

“Hello.”

“Mr. Grey told me you might call.”

“Is he here?” she anxiously inquired.

“No, I’m sorry.  He’s away on business.”

Theo didn’t believe him, and she nearly pushed past him and marched into the house to Soloman’s bedchamber where they’d frolicked so merrily a few hours earlier.

She’d given herself to him!  They were about to marry!  They’d planned on it! 

“He wrote you a letter,” the butler said.

He extracted it from his coat and extended it to her.  She gaped at it, and it hovered between them, until finally she reached for it.

She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.  Ultimately, she flicked the seal, relieved to see that it was very short.  If it had been longer, she might have swooned before she got to the end:

I realize you were hoping we’d wed, but I can’t proceed.  I never should have agreed to your mad scheme, and I’m sorry.  Please remember that I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you, and that’s why I made this choice.  I know you’ll be very happy.

He’d signed it with his full name,
Soloman Grey,
as if she might not be clear on who he was.

“Is that it?”  She peered up at the butler.  “Did he leave a verbal message?  Did he ask you to tell me anything?”

“No, milady.”  She must have appeared wretched, because he added, “I’m sorry.”

“Everyone is so accursedly sorry today, aren’t they?”

Her knees gave out, and he leapt over and grabbed her arm so she didn’t fall to the ground. 

“Lady Theo!”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she assured him, and she eased away, focusing, forcing herself to stand on her own two feet.

She tottered to the chair, and he followed her, staying close in case she staggered again.

The note was crushed to her chest, and she should have crumpled it into a ball and tossed it away, but she didn’t have a single item of his.  Not a single memento to sustain her in the coming months as she struggled not to die of a broken heart.  She only had his terrible, tragic letter.  She would keep it forever so she would always recollect what a gullible fool she’d been.

She climbed into the chair, the butler assisting her.  The porters seemed to recognize that something hideous had occurred.  They hastened off, but they were very quiet, the ride very smooth as if they couldn’t bear to jostle her.

“You’re more distraught than you were before we arrived,” Edna eventually said.  “I didn’t imagine it was possible for you to be more upset.  What did the butler tell you?”

“He had a letter for me from Mr. Grey.”

“And…?”

“Mr. Grey has left Cairo.”  Theo didn’t meet her aunt’s gaze.  She refused to see the triumph that would be displayed there.

“He said goodbye?  In a letter?”

“Yes.”

“That was a tad…
cold
of him, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t care to hear your opinion about it, Edna.”

“I was afraid this would happen.  I warned you.”

“Edna, please!”

“I’ll save you from further agony by our departing in the morning.  We’ll sail away from this godforsaken place and head to England where we belong.”

“I don’t wish to go.”

“It’s not up to you, Theo.  I have failed in my duty to you—as your aunt, as your guardian, as your friend—but I intend to protect you from now on.  I’m leaving, and you’re coming with me.”

“I’m an adult, and you’re not my nanny.  You have no authority over me.”

“We can’t linger where gossip might spread, where people will titter and laugh at you behind your back.”

“I don’t wish to go!” Theo stated more vehemently.  “I will remain in Cairo until he returns.”

“Remain…here?  For what reason?”

“I have to talk to him.  I have to ask him why.”

“Wasn’t he clear?  It seems to me that he was extremely clear.”

“I don’t understand any of this.  We were in love.”  When Edna might have argued the point, Theo said, “We
were
in love—despite what you suppose.  I have to speak with him, and I won’t budge until I do.”

They didn’t converse the rest of the way.  She sensed that Edna was eager to hash it out, but she was so weary she couldn’t discuss it.

Once they were at the hotel, she trudged up the stairs to her room, and she was so addled, she wasn’t certain how she got there.  The only benefit was that Susan was gone, so she didn’t have to listen to her cousin’s sniping and insults.

The maids had been in while they were away.  Their traveling trunks were open on the floor, their clothes neatly folded inside.  The sight had her so outraged that she yearned to yank everything out and put it back in the dressers, but she simply didn’t have the energy to fuss over it.

She went to the bed and lay down, staring out at the Nile, contemplating Soloman.  She wondered where he was.  Had he pondered how wounded she would be?  Had she crossed his mind a single second?

She wanted to die!  She wanted lightning to strike her dead.  She wanted a giant sea monster to rise up out of the water and swallow her whole.  She was so desperately anguished, she truly thought her heart might quit beating.

Edna entered behind her, but she didn’t roll over.

“We have to be at the dock at seven,” Edna said.  “We’ll journey up the river to Alexandria, then we’ll board ship to England.”

“I won’t accompany you, Edna.  I have to speak with him, so don’t pester me about it.”

“Theo…”

“Go away.”

“If you insist on staying, I will not give you a penny.  How will you support yourself?  How will you pay your expenses?”

“I will camp in the road outside Valois’s villa if I have to.”

“You’re upset, and you’re not thinking clearly.  What would be your purpose in remaining?”

“I have to talk to him,” she doggedly repeated.

“Where is your pride, Theo?  Will you beg him to reconsider?  Is that your plan?  He doesn’t love you!  He told you so in very explicit terms.  In my book that means you’ve discovered all you ever need to know about him.”

“Except
why,
Edna.  Why would he forsake me?  I don’t know that.”

“If you assume he might tell you someday, you’re insane.  Perhaps you could call on Mrs. Valda.  Perhaps she’ll let you live with her, and the two of you can share him once he’s back.  Is that how you’ll carry on?  Is that the future you envision?  Will you throw your life away over a scoundrel who couldn’t be bothered to say goodbye?”

“It’s my life to throw away, Edna.”

There was a lengthy pause where she perceived Edna studying her, trying to find the words that would persuade her to Edna’s point of view.  But Edna could never sway her.

Theo had to look him in the eye and demand an explanation.  After that, she didn’t care what happened.  She didn’t care if she starved in the street or perished from heat exhaustion or was murdered by a brigand.