Onyx (25 page)

“Me
faither said it was me fault me mathair died. How can I ferget aboot that?”

“It was her own fault, so you can stop with the
self pity.”

“Why would ye say the
t?” he asked, turning to look at her white, clouded eyes in the moonlight.

“Because your mother, Mirabelle, came to me years ago,
hearing the superstition that to buy daggers from a blind hag would ensure her conception. One child for each dagger bought. She bought four daggers and tried to steal the one you now have.”

He fingered his dagger at his side. “Why would she want this one when it was cracked?”

“It cracked when she dropped it, right when she pushed away a beggar boy four times. That’s why she only had daughters. The daggers would ensure they each found their true loves. But because she tried to deceive me, she’d cursed herself.”

“I dinna understand.”

“Because of her greed, she caused her own trouble. She pushed the boy out of her life, so she would never know her own son. And since she tried to steal a dagger that was meant to find true love, she lost her love – her husband – in the process.”

Onyx ran a hand over the cracked stone, thinking of how his true mother had touched this at one time. And he’d never had the opportunity of knowing her. It wasn’t right. Not at all.

“Ye witch! Ye were the one who cursed her.”

“We bring our own curses
upon ourselves by the choices we make or the things we say. You need to think about this, Dagger, before it’s too late.”

He flinched in surprise when she called him by the name that only his close friends used.

“You need to give your father a chance,” she told him. “He never did anything intentionally to hurt you.”

“But he tried te have me dumped into the sea.”

“Because he didn’t want to see you, as you reminded him of the woman he loved so much and had lost forever.”

“But he blames me for her de
ith.”

“Does he?” she asked. “Mayhap he really blames himself and just doesn’t want to admit it.”

“He disna care aboot me.”

“He doesn’t know you. And neither do your four sisters. Aren’t you even curious as to who are they are and the lives they’ve lived?”

“Me one sister did try te talk te me four years ago,” he said. “But still, I was abandoned, and I willna go te them. I have me own family in Scotland now.”

“It seems to me you just walked out on anyone who ever cared about you. That cracked stone in your dagger symbolizes the duality in you and your life as well. The same as do your ey
es. So you have a choice,” she explained to him. “You can turn and walk away from your troubles, and at the same time the ones who love you . . . or you can turn around and go back, and show love in return. The power of love is symbolized by the daggers that you and your sisters all possess. Love is in you as well as every one of your siblings, and you need to find a way to bring it out. The choice is yours. But if you think you’re going to find true love with the woman inside, then you are going to have to show her that you love her in return.”

“I dinna need this
.” He turned to mount his horse again, then thought about what she said. Aidan and Ian were inside, and they were as close to him as any brothers. His father was there too, wanting to get to know him. And Lovelle. She had told him she loved him. She needed him now. And her little boy . . . he couldn’t leave. Who was he fooling? He had to help her. He knew now that whatever hurt he was feeling didn’t matter. Because although love was foreign to him, it was truly the only thing that mattered. He needed to turn around and go back in and not leave right now, just like the old hag told him.

“Ye
’re right, auld woman.” He turned to tell her, but she was gone.

Chapter 23

Lovelle didn’t even want to talk to Onyx at the meal. He’d come back into the castle, but he still held hatred toward his father, this was clear. Though the earl had offered to have all of them sit up at the dais, Onyx had refused, and sat down by the fire instead. Aidan and Ian of course chose to be by their friend, and that left Lovelle sitting alone with the earl, the priest, and several of the castle nobles.

“I’m sorry about your son,” said the earl, pushing the trencher they shared toward her. “I know how hard it is to lose a child.”

“I haven’t lost him yet,” she said, pushing the trencher back to him, not having the appetite to eat. “And you haven’t lost your son, he is right here in the same room.”

“Nay,” said the earl, his eyes gazing across the room and settling on Onyx.
“I have truly lost him after all. He wants nothing to do with me, and I’m afraid I can’t blame him. But he doesn’t understand.”

“And I don’t understand why you won’t let me see my son. I don’t c
are what the risk, I need to be with him. He’s frightened. He needs me.”

“I’m sorry, but there is a guard posted at the door. The healer said his fever is high and welts have already started to
show under his arms and in the groin area. There is nothing we can do. Just face it, Lady Lovelle. When the plague hits, the infected is usually dead within a few days.”

“And you won’t even allow me to say my goodbyes. What kind of man are you?”

“When your father was alive, I promised him that I would look after his children if anything ever happened to him. Your brothers have already died of the plague, and I will not let that happen to you too.”

“My father would never had asked you that if he thought he was going to die so soon. He didn’t know he was going to be murdered.”

“What ever happened to that damned Scotswoman who poisoned him?” asked the earl, taking a sip of wine as he spoke. “I hope she got what she deserved.”

“Oh, don’t worry, she did,” she said, pushing back her chair and getting to her feet. “She just died from the plague. And that woman just happened to be the only mother Onyx ever knew.”

She left the earl with his mouth hanging open, and went across the room to sit with the boys. She settled onto the bench at the trestle table next to Aidan. Ian and Onyx had their backs turned, having a drink and staring at the fire. The travel bag was on the table, and she reached inside. Aidan’s baby squirrel ran up her one arm, down the other, and jumped over to Aidan’s shoulder.

“Oh, that scared me, you little rascal,” she said. “Gee, I hope Tawpie hasn’t been killed by now, as I left her back at the castle.”

“She is a wildcat, she’ll be able te fend fer herself,” he said.

She noticed Onyx hadn’t even turned around and used this to her advantage. She needed to work quickly before he stopped her, but she’d do anything to save her son. She dug back into the bag, taking out the chest and opening it atop the table. She lifted the Book of Hour
s from inside, hurriedly flipping to the back and held it in front of Aidan.

“Please, I beg you,” she whispered.
“Read me the charm that wards off the plague. I need to try to use it on my son to save him.”

“He willna read that fer ye
,” said Onyx, coming over and taking the book from her hand.

“Onyx!” She jumped up and put her hands on her hips. “Give him back the book. I need him to read it so I can try the charm on Charles. Please,” she said, almost crying.
“It’s the only hope I’ve got.”

“He willna read it, and ’t
is no’ yer only hope.” He took the book and flipped through the pages.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I am goin’ te read the charm, Love. And I am goin’ te do whate’er it says in here as well, even if it means standin’ naked and purring like a kitten.”

“Och, thet’s no’ a bonnie site, I assure ye,
” said Ian coming to join them. “Thet’ll scare any illness away.”

“You’d do that for my son?” she asked, seeing a side of Onyx that she really liked.

“I’d do it fer ye,” he said, looking deep into her eyes and reaching forward and kissing her on the lips. “I am goin’ te stay at Charles’s side and keep reading this damned book until it makes a difference.”

“But . . . if it’s the plague . . .” She just couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“If it’s the plague, then aye, I may get it as well. But I live te take risks and this is one that I willna let ye do.”

“Dagger, ye are addled,” said Ian. “Ye could die from this.”

“Thet’s right,” said Aidan. “We may ne’er see ye again.”

“And Lady Lovell
e may ne’er see her son again either,” he said. “I canna allow her te risk her life. I have been thrown amongst the dead, bloating bodies of the Black Plague and survived, so I have the best chance here.”

“Oh, Onyx, thank you,” said Lovell
e, throwing her arms around him.

“There’ll hopefully be time for that later,” he said, finding the page and sitting down to read it.
“Now there are a few things I’m goin’ te need and hopefully ye three can help me get them.”

* * *

Onyx walked into the boy’s room and closed the door quietly. He kne
w this was a risk being in here. Still, it was the risk he would take to show Lovelle how much she meant to him, and that he wanted to help. He also wanted to make amends for not being there for her when he’d promised to help her mother. He was only too glad to find out from his friends that her mother had survived and not had the plague after all.

“W
ho are you?” asked the boy as Onyx came closer to the bed. The room was dark and only one small candle was burning. It smelled musty inside and a chill hung in the air.

“Me name is Onyx,” he said, then noticed the boy jerk and blink when he saw Onyx’s eyes
. “Ye dinna need te be afeard o’ me. I willna harm ye.”

“You are the man who tried to kill the earl,” he said.

Onyx just let out a deep breath and settled himself on a chair next to the bed. “Aye, thet would be me.”

“Why were you trying to kill him? The earl is such a nice man.”

“I am no’ sure how much o’ our conversation ye heard, Charles, but the earl is me faither.”

“My father died not that long ago,” he said. “I didn’t like him either. I should
have tried to kill him too, just like you.”

“Na
y, dinna e’er say thet. A faither is someone a laddie should honor and respect, even if he is no’ the nicest te ye.”

“But you don’t
seem to honor or respect your father. You almost seem to hate him.”

That took Onyx by surprise, and he knew that sometimes wisdom came out of the mouths of the young. He was r
ight. And how was Onyx to be any kind of example to the boy when he still held a vengeance for his own father in his heart?

“We dinna need te tal
k aboot that, lad. I am here te try te . . . heal ye o’ yer illness.”

“Why?”

“Och, laddie, ye ask as many questions as yer mathair.”

“Are you
friends with my mother?” His eyes looked up curiously and the wisdom within them was not missed. This boy almost reminded Onyx of himself at that age. He had dark hair and pale skin, and the bright blue eyes of his mother.

“I am,” he said. “Actually, we are more than friends.”

“Are you going to be my new father?”

Onyx didn’t know what to say to that. He hadn’t really thought about this until now. The whole idea rather scared him. Instead of answering, he pulled the candles out of his pouch
along with the herbs that the charm told him he needed to use.

“How are ye fee
lin’ laddie?” He reached out and touched the boy’s forehead. He was burning up with fever.

“I think I have the plague,” he said. “And no one wants to come near me, not even my
own mother.”

“The
t’s no’ true. I am here.” He took the boy’s hand in his to comfort him, noticing the red, raised welts starting on his arms. It certainly looked to be the beginning of the plague. “Yer mathair wants te be here wit’ ye, but the earl willna allow it.”

“Because I’m going to die and she’ll die too, right?”

How could he tell the boy it was probably true? It would be no way to give him any hope at all. And Onyx knew that a good part of healing and being cured was what a person believed. He thought of the old hag’s words saying we curse ourselves by our thoughts and actions. Mayhap it would be possible then, to heal oneself as well. He just needed to get the boy to start thinking in a positive manner.

“Ye are no’ goin’ te die, laddie. I have a secret charm I am goin’ te use on ye and it will cure ye. And then ye can go back and be wit’ ye
r mathair again.” He hated lying, but needed to calm and comfort the boy. He needed to make him believe. His heart broke for him, and also for Lovelle. He started pulling the things out of his bag that the charm told him to use. He laid sage, comfrey, wormwood, and vinegar on the table. The boy just looked at him curiously.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I have some things thet might help in curin’ ye,” he told him, next taking out the candles, as well as the salt, followed by onions, garlic, lily root, arsenic, and . . . he blessed himself before he pulled out the last item . . . dried toad. He had no idea where the hell Aidan found that and neither did he want to know.