Open Wounds (Damaged Souls Book 2) (3 page)

With a shaking hand, Lexi clutched the forgotten knife in her hand in a death grip. In a daze of helplessness and self-recrimination, she backed away from the confrontation. Tears blinded her vision as she quickly escaped to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

Lexi stumbled blindly over to the toilet. Barely making it before she lost the contents of her stomach. Once her lunch was gone, she fell to her knees as she began to dry heave. She collapsed back against the tub, tears streaming down her face unchecked. Her chest rose and fell harshly as she began to hyperventilate. And she clenched her fists and punched back against the tub in frustration, over the lack of control she continued to feel at the hands of men.

As she beat her fists on the tub, she realized that she still had the knife in her hands. For the first time in several months, Lexi didn’t fight the urge. She let the need wash over her. She felt almost lightheaded with the euphoria of anticipation.

She raised her hips and grabbed the waistband of her flowing palazzo pants, pulling them down around her ankles. Finding an untouched spot on the webbing of scars on her thighs, Lexi placed the sharp blade of the knife against her soft skin. And sliding the blade up, it cut into her buttery flesh, drawing blood and a sigh from her lips.

~~~

Sloan watched as the sorry excuse for a man turned pink, red and then a vivid shade of purple. Sloan had killed several men over the years in the war, so killing this one worthless man would be nothing to him. His hand squeezed tighter around Rick’s throat, and he gurgled in response.

“Do you think that you can force yourself on a woman, and think that shit’s okay? Or that they should be thanking their lucky stars that your nasty ass is giving them a shot? I could easily kill you now, and save the world and all of womankind, one more piece of shit roaming the planet.” Sloan growled.

“Sloan! Holy fuck, man!” Kevin shouted as he rounded the corner to the kitchen. “Uh, dude…I think you’re killing him! I don’t think anyone should be that shade of purple.” Kevin reached out and grasped Sloan’s arm. “Come on, man. Let ‘em go.”

In the past week, Kevin had become Sloan’s right-hand man. He was a genius at home construction. He helped Sloan with the things he had forgotten, and with new methods that had come along in the past several years since Sloan had been in the Marines. And aside from Lexi, Kevin was probably the only other person that could calm Sloan down in this situation.

Slowly, Sloan set Rick on his feet and released the hold he had on his neck. The moment the man was free, he fell to the ground gasping for air and coughed roughly. Sloan kneeled down next to the straining man, gripped his greasy hair in his hand and pulled his head back brutally until the Rick looked at him in alarm.

“You’re done. If I ever see you so much as look at her, I
will
kill you.” Sloan said softly, dangerously. “Now get the fuck out!” Sloan watched as Rick scrambled up from the floor and stumbled out the kitchen and to the front door.

“Damn man! What did he do?” Kevin asked Sloan in bewilderment.

“He was forcing himself on Lexi,” Sloan answered quietly, looking around for the person in question.

“Shit! Dumb move.” Kevin shook his head.

“Fuck! Where is she?” Sloan began to panic as he paced quickly over to the downstairs bedroom and found it empty. He looked over at the closed bathroom door, and his heart started to race all over again. “Kevin, I’m cutting the day short. I need you and the men to head home.” Sloan said with trepidation, his eyes still on the closed bathroom door.

“Sure, Sloan. Is everything alright?” Kevin asked with concern as he looked back and forth at the closed door and Sloan’s worried face.

“Everything is fine Kevin. Just get the men out now, okay?” Sloan asked, running his fingers through his hair nervously. “I may need you guys to come back tomorrow and Sunday if anyone wants overtime.”

“Alright. See ya, Sloan. If you need anything, you’ve got my number.” Kevin said as he started to walk towards the staircase.

Sloan waited by the bathroom door anxiously, as the men filed down and out of the house. He wanted to scream at every single one of them, to ‘hurry the fuck up’, but he kept his mouth shut and jaws locked. As the last man walked out the door and shut it firmly, Sloan turned and pressed his forehead against the bathroom door. He turned the knob to test it and found it locked like he knew it would be. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw.
Please don’t let her hurt herself. God, please!
Sloan pleaded in his head.

“Alexis? Baby, are you in there?” Sloan said to the door, but there was no response. “Lexi, please answer me.” When there was still no sound from the other side, panic and anger overtook Sloan. He raised his fist and started banging it against the door as he continued to twist the doorknob uselessly. “Open the damn door, Lexi! Do you hear me, dammit?! Open the door!” Sloan shouted.

He pressed his ear to the door but heard nothing. Finally fed up and scared to death that she had hurt herself, Sloan began to ram his shoulder into the door. After several attempts, he heard the wood frame start to give. One final slam into the door sent it bursting open. And the vision that greeted him as he stumbled in made him buckle to his knees.

Her back was against the tub, and her head lolled back on the rim of the tub. Her legs were sprawled open, with fresh cuts crisscrossing between her thighs. Her arms laid on the tops of her thighs, the knife hanging limply from her hand in between her ravaged legs. And her blood was everywhere. Pooling under her legs, on her hands and smeared on the tub.

“No, Lexi. Why?” Sloan said sadly as he crawled over to her. “Why did you do it?” He asked as he gently clasped either side of her face and raised her head to get a good look at her face.

Lexi looked at him without really seeing him. Her pupils were dilated so much that the green of her eyes were just a sliver of color. She smiled weakly at Sloan, and his heart broke at the sight. Sloan realized that she had the characteristics of a drug addict. The cutting gave her a type of high.

“Why, Lexi? You were doing so good.” Sloan pleaded, shaking her slightly to bring her out of her stupor.

“Hmm…why not?” Lexi answered drowsily, finally coming back around. “I’ll never be free. At least this way I have control of my pain.” Lexi continued, eyes wide and glassy with fresh tears.

“But you don’t need to cut. You can paint or talk to me. I’m here for you, just like you are for me.” Sloan said sighing deeply, already exhausted from the emotional events of the day and it was only afternoon.

“Hell, you’re lucky I didn’t cut ‘Open for Business’ on my legs. Or maybe I should tattoo ‘Abuse Me’ on my forehead. Because apparently that’s all I’m good for. So painting didn’t feel sufficient enough, and you were a little tied up in choking the man to death, to stop and talk.” Lexi laughed without humor.

“It’s not funny Alexis.” Sloan scolded.

“No, it’s not,” Lexi said, pulling her face away from Sloan’s warm, rough hands. “But it’s all I’ve got right now, to keep from going insane.”

Sloan understood all too well the type of demons that were chasing Lexi. They dogged his every step. And sometimes laughing and joking at the ridiculousness your life had become, was the only thing a person had to cope.

So Sloan nodded his head somberly in understanding. He reached over and smoothly eased the knife from her fingers and tossed it into the nearby sink. He let down the lid on the toilet and gently scooped Lexi into his arms, lifting her up and placing her on the toilet. He rummaged through the cabinet under the sink for some antiseptic to clean her wounds.

“Do you usually go to the hospital to get stitched up after you’ve cut?” Sloan asked as he found the peroxide and bag of first aid items.

“No. Not unless I’ve cut too deep, which I didn’t. I usually just bandage them up myself. That’s why I have that first aid bag.” Lexi nodded to the bag in his hands. “That’s the life of a cutter. We can’t very well walk around bleeding all over the place, now can we?” Lexi said looking down at Sloan as he crouched in front of her.

Sloan shook his head sadly, then reached over to grab a clean towel from the basket of towels Lexi had sitting next to the shower. He held the towel under one thigh, as he poured peroxide over her fresh cuts. She hissed a little between her teeth, as the antiseptic cleaned the germs from her wounds.

After doing the same to the other leg, Sloan dabbed the area dry, and then blew on her torn skin until it was dry enough for the giant Band-Aid pads to stick to her skin. Once she was all cleaned up and bandaged, Sloan kissed each thigh tenderly. The caring gesture brought fresh tears to Lexi’s eyes, as she looked down at him.

Sloan sat back on his haunches and looked up at her. Reaching up, he caught a few tears with his thumb and with both hands he grabbed hers, clutching them tightly. He stroked her knuckles with his thumbs, gathering his thoughts before he spoke.

“Alexis, the next time you feel the urge to cut, and painting isn’t enough to ease the need, please come talk to me. No matter what I’m doing.” Sloan pleaded, looking up at her with so many emotions in his is crystal clear blue-gray eyes she couldn’t tell exactly what he was feeling. “We can get through this together.”

“Okay.” Lexi nodded her head in agreement, trying once again to hold back tears.

“And in a couple of days when your cuts have healed a little, I’m going to teach you some self-defense,” Sloan stated matter-of-factly, squeezing her hands tighter. “If these assholes are gonna keep finding you, then you’re not going to be defenseless if I have anything to fucking say about it.” He finished vehemently.

“Thank you, Sloan. Thank you for everything.” The tears that threatened, finally fell. And seeing her eyes sparkle emerald with tears, Sloan sat up straight and gathered her in his arms. “And I’m
so
sorry for scaring you. I let it control me.” Lexi hiccupped into his silky hair that brushed against her lips.

“It’s alright, Princess. We’ll get through this together. But maybe you were right. Maybe we both need to see a therapist.” Sloan suggested as he pulled back to look at her face.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Lexi agreed with a nod. “I guess we better start looking into it then.”

“Okay.” Sloan stood up and held out a hand for Lexi to take. He eased her up and pulled her into his arms. Lifting a hand, he gently stroked her cheek and leaned down to kiss her nose. “But in the meantime, let’s get you some Ibprophen. It’ll help with the pain and take down the swelling. Then I’ll come back and clean up in here.” Sloan suggested, before leading her out of the bathroom and away from the gruesome scene of her self-mutilation.

Chapter 3

Home

Sloan worked around the clock, the rest of Friday and all day Saturday, to finish up the upstairs for Lexi. Many of the men came back Saturday for overtime, and to help out. Aside from Rick, Sloan had gained a loyal crew in the short time they had worked for him. And with their assistance, Sloan was nearly finished with the master suite.

He woke up early Sunday morning and gave Lexi a quick kiss, before uncharacteristically jumping out of bed to get dressed. Lexi watched him with a sleepy smile across her lips.

“What are you doing up so early this Sunday morning? I thought Sundays were reserved for lying in bed all day, and making love.” Lexi asked seductively. Hoping he would come back to bed, and finally make love to her again.

“Well, as much as I would love to do that, I have to put the last few finishing touches on the upstairs, so that you can have your brand new master bed and bath by this afternoon,” Sloan explained with a knowing grin at her excited face.

“Really?! It’ll be done today?!” Lexi exclaimed anxiously.

“Yes, ma’am. I mean princess.” Sloan corrected at her slight scowl.

Lexi flopped back on the bed and beat her feet and fists excitedly against the mattress in her enthusiasm. Sloan’s heart warmed with joy, as the normally reserved woman, emerged more and more out of her protective shell. He adored her silly side.

“Well as much as I’d like to watch you have a seizure in bed, I better get going, so I can finish.” Sloan teased as she stopped squirming.

“Oh hush. Let me have my moment.” Lexi said, sticking out her tongue at him.

Sloan quickly stepped into his work boots and strode over to his bronzed goddess and bent over to give her a quick kiss.

“I’ll be down in a little while, to bring you up to see the finished product,” Sloan said straightening up and then disappearing through the door.

From the peeks that Lexi could sneak the day before. The final things the crew had done before they left, were they brought up the mystery furniture, wrapped in plastic that Sloan had chosen for her. And they had finished the final touches on the staircase to dry overnight. She was so antsy for the big reveal that she could barely stand herself. So lying in bed twitching with excitement all day wasn’t going to work.

Lexi got out of bed, fed Tank and jumped in the shower. Once she was dressed, she tried her best to work on the finishing touches of a painting she had done the day before. But her mind couldn’t focus on the painting to save her life. She found herself staring off into space, more often than not.

Eventually giving up, she made her way to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat. Only to end up pushing around her food on her plate, while listening to every sound Sloan made upstairs and waiting to hear his steps on the stairs.

Finally, Lexi and Tank looked up at the doorway to the kitchen when they heard the sounds of footsteps, waiting for Sloan to appear. Coming to the doorway and glancing in and away, ready to look elsewhere, Sloan looked back quickly realizing he had found her. A huge smile of epic proportions spread across his face, as he leaned casually against the archway to the kitchen. Like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“So…are you all done?” Lexi asked hesitantly.

“Yes, ma’am. I mean, yes princess.” He corrected himself, teasing her slightly.

“Then what the heck are you waiting for?! You know I’m dying over here!” Lexi exclaimed, and Sloan grinned as her bossy nature made an appearance.

“Do you know how much I love it when you get all bossy?” Sloan teased some more.

“Oh, would you just show me the damn room already?” Lexi glared at him as she got up from her seat and walked past him, out the kitchen to head upstairs.

Sloan followed, and Tank shot ahead, running up the stairs before either of them. Sloan was a bundle of nerves, praying that she liked everything he and his crew had done. And the first stop was the redone staircase.

Each riser on each stair, was a pristine white, and the steps were stained in a beautiful rich dark brown. The contrast between the two was lovely. The spindles on the banister, also matched the white risers, and the railing was stained in the same dark brown as well.

“Wow! Sloan the staircase looks phenomenal!” Lexi breathed, running her hand over the smooth wood.

“I hoped you’d like it.” Sloan smiled down at her, before patting her butt lightly. “Alright, up you go. Time to see the rest.”

As Sloan followed Lexi up the stairs, both their hearts pounded in nervous excitement. Lexi hoped that he got it right, because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings if she hated it. And Sloan prayed that he got it right because he didn’t want to disappoint her, since she had had so much faith in him.

The redone railing extended down the hallway and the hardwood floors were stained in the same dark brown. The walls were painted a light gray with white crown molding and trim. Very neutral colors that could go with several different accent colors.

The accent color he had chosen to work with for now was a pretty deep sunny marigold. The rug that ran down the hall, was the same pretty yellow, with gray in a fun design. The dark wood hall table, held a yellow vase, with white magnolia flowers in it.

“You can add more to the table if you’d like. Pictures, knick-knacks or whatever you’d like. As well as your paintings on the wall. But I figured I’d leave some stuff for you to shop for, now that I’ve given you something to work with. That is if you like it?” Sloan finished, unsure of himself. He looked down at the floor, his hair coming loose from behind his ear, and falling in his face.

“I’m loving everything so far, Sloan,” Lexi said softly, looking at him from under his hair, before raising her hand to push it back behind his ear.

Sloan nodded his head and took a deep breath. “Alright, let me show you the rest before I have a panic attack.” He half joked as he strode over to the door that led into the sitting room area. “Okay, since the bedroom is the most intimate room in the house, I felt that it should reflect the owner. So I took your artistic and bohemian style and transferred it to what I hope is your perfect relaxing retreat.” Sloan finished as he swung the door open wide, and held his breath as Lexi took the first steps into the room.

  Against the wall that the door opened on, was a beautiful brown table. It was vintage in style, with several drawers and doors to store whatever she wanted. And the finish on the wood, almost made the table look like it was made of leather.

They had replaced the dome shaped picture window, with a bigger window of the same shape, letting in more natural light. Underneath the window was a lovely cushioned bench, with a fun colorful bohemian pattern. The other pieces of furniture were in solid colors that were pulled from the colorful bench.

In the middle of the sitting room was a green vintage high-backed chaise lounge, with a satiny turquoise blue throw hanging from the back. A more contemporary high-backed armchair, with a deep rich purple, sat across from the chaise. Both seats had bright throw pillows of green, purple, turquoise, fuchsia and yellow strewn strategically about. And an old faded turquoise blue trunk was used as a coffee table between the pieces of furniture, to pull the eclectic look together.

Lexi was ready to clap her hands with glee, and she had only seen the sitting room. She turned into the main part of the master bedroom and stopped dead. Her hands reflexively went to cover her mouth and tears instantly blinded her vision.

“Lexi? Are you okay? I’m praying those are happy tears.” Sloan said nervously.

Lexi just nodded her head in response, as she walked further into the room. She stopped in the middle of the room, and she turned several times, trying to take it all in.

“You’re making me dizzy just watching you.” Sloan grinned.

“I don’t know what to say, Sloan. It’s perfection.” Lexi sighed, unable to comprehend that it was all hers.

The wall that the head of the bed was against, was done in a wallpaper that was a mural of her weeping willow and the river behind it. She could even see the colorful mason jars that Sloan had hung from the inner branches, as well as the rays of the sun peeking through the vines. They even captured the picture just right, so that the large bedroom windows were on either side of the weeping willow, adding to the light of the sun in the picture with real natural light. She looked at Sloan in question.

“We took a picture of the weeping willow in the back with a professional digital camera. And of course being a contractor, I have the inside scoop to some things that many don’t know about. We took the picture to a wallpaper company, we gave them the measurements of the wall, and they printed out the mural for us”, Sloan looked at the wall with pride.

“Well, it’s amazing!” Lexi continued to look around in shock. “It all is.”

The rest of the walls were painted a soft and sunny yellow that brightened the whole room. Near the domed window was a chifforobe, painted in a fun, colorful mix-matched bohemian style. In the corner was a gorgeous privacy screen that had vintage mannequin forms for sewing, painted on it as well as words and phrases in French. In the opposite corner was an adorable swing chair, suspended from the ceiling. It was green and turquoise and shaped like an egg, with matching cushions inside. A tall, dark wood chest of drawers that had drawer fronts painted in different bold colors and designs sat against the wall near the unique chair. The wall facing the bed, had a wide dresser with drawer fronts similar to the chest of drawers and housed a new flat screen TV on top. And on either side of the bed, were beautiful hand carved tan nightstands.

All of the colorful items and furniture in the room surrounded the focal point of the room, a stunning king size bed. The bedframe itself was a beautiful dark wood color, like the floor and had a low headboard to keep from hiding the mural of the weeping willow. The comforter set was in a deep rich purple that matched many of the items in the room, with a circular design in a bright yellow, white and fuchsia. And a lightweight fuchsia throw with beaded detail around the edges, laid at the foot of the bed.

But the best part of the bed was the hanging pristine white canopy. Sloan had hung a metal rectangular frame from the ceiling and draped white, virginal gauzy sheers from it. One draped across the middle of the frame, and four others hung from each corner. To which he had tied back to showcase the bed and mural.

“I also wanted to leave the small details to you, in here as well. And of course I left the other walls empty for your paintings, too. Just let me know which ones you’d like in here and I’ll hang them for you.” Sloan informed Lexi as she remained rooted to the spot in the middle of the room. “It’s all yours, you know? You can touch it and explore. It’s not a museum.” Sloan chuckled.

“I know. I just keep thinking that if I touch anything, it’ll all disappear.” Lexi finally moved to the bed and touched one of the sheers and sighed deeply, happy to find that it didn’t vanish into thin air. “It was so hard for me to figure out what I wanted. I love some of the traditional décor for bedrooms, but I kept feeling like it wasn’t me. It’s great for other rooms in the house. But my bedroom felt different. Like it should reflect me. And since I’ve just begun trying to figure out who that is, it was hard for me to put my thoughts and wants, into words…into reality.” Lexi shook her head in wonder. “You got it so right it scares me.”

“And we’re not done yet, either. There’s still the closet and the bathroom.” Sloan said as he strode over to the closet door and opened it with a small flourish.

Lexi walked up to the entrance of the walk-in closet and peeked her head in. The closet was expanded from the added space of the spare bedroom. And she nearly danced a jig at the sight of the huge closet. There was space to hang clothing on either side, a rack for tons of shoes and built-in drawers for everything that couldn’t be hung.

“Wow! I don’t even have enough clothes to fill this”, Lexi thought out loud.

“Well, now you’ll have a reason to go shopping,” Sloan suggested with a wide grin. His silvery blue eyes sparkling. “Come on, let me show you the bathroom.”

Lexi followed him to the bathroom door. The door itself was stunning. It was glass with dark wood trim around it that matched the floor. The glass of the door was made out of tiny colored stained glass. And the sunlight coming in through the bathroom windows, streamed through the glass, putting a beautiful colorful pattern on the floor.

Lexi reached out and slid the pocket door open, and it easily disappeared into the wall that she had helped put up. “Yep, you helped build this wall,” Sloan said, guessing her thoughts. “And you should be proud. All the guys were impressed when I told them that you had cut the wood and helped nail in the frame.” Lexi felt heat spread into her cheeks at the praise.

“I found some matching lament wood for the bathroom. I wanted to keep the flow and warmth of the bedroom into the bathroom, but I didn’t want you to worry about damaging the hardwood with water.” Sloan pointed out.

“I would’ve never noticed the difference if you hadn’t said anything. It’s nearly a perfect match.” Lexi said as she stepped into the bathroom.

Once again, Sloan took Lexi’s breath away, with his eye for detail and design. Covering part of the floor and adding to the coziness of the room, were a few rugs of different sizes. The main rug was large with sedate colors, and the smaller rugs near the bathtub and shower were of solid colors pulled from the larger one.