Oregon Outback (24 page)

Avery’s pulse rippled through her.

He stood and offered his hand. She took it, loving the strength in his grip. Wishing she could feel his arms around her once more. But … what had he been thinking about them?

He released her hand and they continued hiking.

She’d drawn a line, claiming they shouldn’t have a relationship outside of work. Then she’d crossed that line and drawn another, stating they were too different to be more than friends. But now their lives were melding together—they’d spent every weekend together, sometimes evenings during the week after work, too. He claimed he couldn’t get enough of her bread. The thought made her smile.

Avery had given herself the summer to decide if she would stay in the house her grandmother had given her, or if she would begin a job search in Portland or some other city.

And then, Thursday, she’d gotten a call. A friend had given her name to someone who wanted to hire a CPA—full-time, benefits, great pay—for a prestigious accounting firm.

And now Lucas was talking about having the chance to prove something to her?

What had he meant, if she gave him the chance? Trudging behind him, she sighed, realizing that she needed to tell him she might be leaving. Although she’d told herself she didn’t believe Katy’s remarks about Lucas, now it hit her. Because of Katy’s warning—that Lucas was nothing more than a playboy, not to fall for him—Avery hadn’t considered that Lucas would actually fall for her instead. She hadn’t for a moment taken his interest in her seriously.

Which was why she’d guarded her heart.

But had she toyed with his? Had she—the practical, no-nonsense one—made sport of their friendship? No. That wasn’t it. She cared deeply for him, and she feared admitting just how much. But he needed to know she might leave in a few weeks. Sooner if she was offered a job.

He would need someone to do the books in her place. She was almost finished getting everything organized, and whomever he hired next should have no problems.

Hiking a few feet in front of her, Lucas suddenly turned and walked backward. Slamming more water and then squinting, he scrutinized her. “What’s wrong?”

Avery stopped. “What makes you ask that?”

Lucas came toward her and placed his palm against her cheek.

Avery leaned into it. What was he doing?

“Because, Avery Summers, I know you. What’s wrong?”

Avery had shoved aside his questions, claiming she was fine.

But Lucas knew better. They’d finished up their hike, and now, he steered his truck through Frenchglen, the gateway to Steens Mountain, and parked at the Frenchglen’s historic hotel where he planned to treat her to dinner before they headed home. Lucas had hoped the place would create the right ambiance.

After one of their adventures, she always appeared relaxed, happy, and open. He wanted to take advantage of that. Over the course of the last few weeks, they’d grown close. Though she doubted herself, believing she’d held him back, she’d given him everything he’d wanted in a companion, making his life that much fuller.

In fact, before she came into his life—he hadn’t been living at all, he realized.

He’d adhered to her wishes to remain friends, at least on the surface. But he’d not held to his own commitment to remain emotionally and romantically unattached. He clung to the ridge by his fingers, slipping fast and, if he lost his grip, it would be a hard fall.

Before he spent any more time with her, he had things to say. He wanted to tell her how he felt, hoping tonight was the night. But earlier that afternoon something in her demeanor had changed. He’d heard her troubled sighs, and her eyes, usually full of life, held shadows instead.

Through dinner they discussed the hike and where they might want to go next, but Lucas could never bring himself to bare his heart and soul. Avery held back something as well, whatever had gotten her down during their hike. No way would he tell her how much he cared for her until he found out what was bothering her.

At last he pulled the truck to the curb of her house. She looked over at him, her hand on the door handle. “Thanks, Lucas. It’s been a great time. As always.”

Her words sounded hollow. Insincere.

The way she pursed her lips, he could tell her smile bordered on a frown. She hopped out and headed to her door.

What was going on?

He’d long stopped escorting her to the door because then the moment became a little awkward. He wanted to kiss her. She was thinking the same thing, he knew. They both ignored it. He’d wondered how long their friendship would last. But he never thought he’d be the one to give in first.

Now …
now,
he understood how the women who claimed he’d hurt them felt. His pulse took flight at the top of a dune and soared, then plummeted.

This was déjà vu in reverse. He was the one about to lose everything that meant anything to him. Lucas pounded the steering wheel. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to face this fear—was she about to dump him?

“Avery!” He jumped out of the truck, jogged around, and caught her at the door. “Avery … we have to talk.” He pleaded with his eyes, feeling desperate, hating that he
was
desperate.

She sighed. “Lucas, it’s almost midnight. I have church tomorrow. Can’t it wait?”

He swatted at the bugs swarming the porch light and his face. “I need to know something.”

Frowning, she opened the door. “Come in.”

He trailed her into the house and closed the door behind him. He was overreacting. Had to be.

“Can I get you something to drink?” she asked and filled a glass of water for herself from the tap.

“No. Listen, I’m sorry for keeping you, it’s just that you never told me what’s bothering you.” He should tell her everything. That he might even …

What? Love her?

If he was going to get hurt—and it would be a first—he didn’t want another soul to know about it. Not even Avery. Especially not Avery. He wasn’t fearless, after all.

Coward
.

Avery plopped on her sofa and rested her head. “I’m sorry I was so distracted. All you had to do was ask.”

“I did.”

Her laugh was nervous. “Yeah, during the hike. I just wanted to forget about it so I could enjoy things.”

He sat across from her on the longer sofa. “So, what is it?”

“I wasn’t sure how to tell you, but I got a call on Thursday. Someone asked me to interview for a position in Portland. They seem really interested. When I got laid off, I thought it was a great chance for me to spend some time living in this house. See if I wanted to stay here. Change things. Simplify my life. You already know all that.”

Lucas leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, bracing himself against the onslaught of confusion. He hadn’t expected this, and in a way, it was worse than her dumping him. Deep down, he believed she returned his affection, and couldn’t imagine she’d actually end their friendship or the affection they both denied. But if she left, they wouldn’t have their chance to see things through.

Her usually clear and honest baby blues masked something. What else was she hiding?

Lucas hung his head. “I see …”—then he glanced back up and stared, tempering the scowl—“When were you going to tell me? I need time to replace you.”

Make this about her job. He might survive that way.

“I’m telling you now. And a phone call doesn’t mean I’ll even get the job. I still have to interview.”

“But you’re considering it. If they offered you’d take the job.”

Avery bolted from the sofa. “Oh, I don’t know, Lucas. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I have to think things through.”

“This is just great.”

Avery paced the living room but didn’t say anything.

“We’re supposed to be friends. Why couldn’t you share this with me? We could have figured it out together.”

“There’s no point in having an argument about why I didn’t inform you the exact moment I got the phone call. And if you’re worried about me finishing things up for you, I’ll work harder over the next few days and make sure even you could do your books, if you can’t find anyone else.”

Lucas stood, stepped around the coffee table, and caught her arm as she passed. He drew her up to face him, look him in the eye. Could he do it? Could he tell her how he felt?

“Is that all?” he asked.

She huffed. So unlike her. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you have a reason to stay?” If she could just give a little, show him she cared.

The edge in her expression softened. “Don’t worry. I’m sure I could still meet you for a weekend adventure. There’s plenty to do around Portland, too.”

Lucas nodded. He had his answer.

L
ucas sat at his desk, his legs extended, resting his feet—hiking boots and all—on the desk.

He chewed on a pen and stared at nothing. His deep scowl and dark mood had sent Mark running. Ricky and his other summer employees had taken one look and left him alone. The organized and well-ordered office—books and files in their proper place—reminded him of Avery. If he was serious about ejecting her from his mind, he’d do something besides sit in his office—now the bane of his existence.

But what could he do that wouldn’t remind him of her? He’d made a place for her in his world, hiking, biking, kayaking, four-wheeling, though they hadn’t made it to hang gliding. Whatever he’d done for the last six weeks, he’d done it with Avery. He’d made a place for her in his heart as well.

Katy would love to gloat over that fact, if she knew.

How could Avery even
think
about leaving?

Because she doesn’t feel the same way about you, dude
. “Get that through your head,” he mumbled to himself.

But he couldn’t know her true feelings because he hadn’t put his on the line. He hadn’t told her about his fall for her.

She’d gone to Portland Tuesday, yesterday evening, for her interview this morning, promising to return later in the afternoon, claiming she had a few things to finish. Should they offer her the job and she decide to take it, she wanted her work completed. Lucas had never asked her to do all she’d done. He’d wanted someone to fix the mess he’d made, and do it while working part-time. Obviously, that had been asking too much. Then again, Avery claimed she was a workaholic. From what Lucas could tell, he hadn’t done a single thing to change that.

“Wow. I haven’t seen that look on your face since, oh, I don’t know, you were ten years old and your dog died.” His brother Jonas leaned in the doorjamb, arms crossed. He’d relocated from the FBI’s Chicago office to Portland since getting married a year and a half ago.

All he could offer was a beleaguered half smile. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

Jonas grinned. “Mind if I sit down?”

“Does it matter?” The hint of a chuckle stirred at the easy banter he shared with Jonas. His brother’s unexpected appearance might do Lucas some good.

“Not really.” Jonas shoved from the doorjamb and dropped in the chair across from the desk. “Mind telling me what’s bothering you?”

Lucas yanked his booted feet from the desk to sit back in the chair. “As a matter of fact, I’m good. Everything’s good. What are you doing here?”

Jonas studied him. He didn’t believe him. But Lucas didn’t care. It wasn’t his business. “What? Can’t a brother stop by to check on you?”

“Like that’s ever going to happen.” This time, Lucas did laugh. “Things not working out on the newlywed front? Need a place to crash?”

“Hardly. I’m here on business. Headed down to Carver’s to speak with his wife.”

“The sheriff?” Lucas sat a little straighter. “What’s up?”

“Just pay attention to anything unusual. There’s a fugitive we think could make his way through the high desert. Sometimes they go for more populated areas. Other times, they think they can get lost in the wilderness. So I’m just checking out a tip.”

“Sounds serious.” Lucas should ask his brother to have lunch or something. They didn’t see each other often. But he was far from good company, and then Jonas might discover the truth.

“That’s my story. That and I really did stop by to see you. I’m glad I did. Now you can tell me your story.” Jonas’s smile was tinted with concern. Still, he looked relaxed and happy.

Lucas blamed the guy’s marriage.
Good for you, Jonas
. He’d gotten a rough start in life, but things had turned out all right in the end.

“Like I said. I’ve got nothing to tell. Business is good. Life is good.” Lucas stood and stretched, feigning a peaceful existence.

Existing was now his reality.

“Right, well”—Jonas leaned forward and stared at Lucas like he was a target, and Jonas the sharpshooter—“a not-so-wise man once shared some rare wisdom with me. I think the words went something like, ‘She’s the
one,
bro, don’t let her get away.’ Unless there’s something standing in your way, you might take your own advice, Lucas.”

The words slammed him, knocking the air from his thoughts, which might as well have been his lungs. He plopped back into his chair. “How did you know?”

“You’re the happiest guy I know. You’re living your dream. Nothing in the world is going to put that look on your face except a woman. And not just any woman.”