I should’ve been embarrassed but I burst out laughing. I had a fairly decent arse. Ripping my skirt out of the material of my French knickers, I shook my head. “Whoops.”
“The old man at the bar got a real good look,” she said, laughing along with me. Brilliant, I was an old man’s wanking material tonight.
I did notice how my
best friend
let me walk the entire length of the room rather than rushing to my aid and covering my bare arse.
“I think I’m done tonight, Chloe. When the whole bar sees your backside it’s time to call it a night.”
“Alright, let’s get you home. Wait there until I come around, I’ll make sure you’re fully dressed before you stand up.”
“Oh, now you want to protect my dignity. You’re a little too late for that tonight,
sweetheart
.”
She smiled as I used Logan’s pet name for her. It was cute and started out with him calling everyone sweetheart but the more he fell in love with her the less he used it for anyone else.
God they made me sick.
Chloe helped me up, out and home. She was an angel. “I love you,” I said to my best friend. The alcohol had made me feel warm and fuzzy and in need to tell everyone how incredible they were.
She laughed as she carried me into my bedroom. “Love you too.”
“Chlo-Chlo, I’m going to be hung over for dinner with my mum tomorrow, aren’t I?”
“Yes, honey. Probably the day after that as well.”
I groaned and gripped my head. “I don’t want it for that long. Call Logan, he’s a health and fitness freak – for which we all thank him, especially when his top comes off – he’ll know some magic anti-hang over cure.”
Instead of punching me for admitting that I perv on her fiancé she laughed and rolled her eyes. “He would tell me to give you water and get you to go to sleep. I don’t think you’ll have any difficulty with the sleep part.”
Neither did I. Every step took monumental effort that I just didn’t have in me anymore. “I’m not thirsty.” Christ, I’d just drunk an entire bar.
“That’s not the point,” she said and launched me onto my bed. I bounced and rolled onto my back, watching the world take a second to catch up. “You need to hydrate your body so please stay awake long enough for me to get a glass of water down your neck.”
I saluted. “Yes, boss.”
Shaking her head in pure amusement, Chlo left my room in search of water. If my body wasn’t so heavy and I had a clue where my phone was I’d call Damon. I wanted to hear his voice whisper unspeakable things to me.
I looked around and saw that Chloe had dropped my bag on the bed too. I extended my arm but it was just out of reach. Things had started to swim and I knew it would only get worse if I moved. My late night drunken call to Damon seemed as impossible as me having a clear head in the morning.
“What are you doing?” She asked, laughing at me wiggling my fingers and willing my handbag to come closer.
“Want my phone,” I replied.
“That a good idea?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because doing anything on your phone when you’ve had eight too many is never a good idea.”
“Ooh,” I said, pointing at her. “You’re totally right! Rule one is never use a phone drunk. Rookie mistake.”
“Okay, sweetie, sit up so you can drink this.”
I pushed myself up on my elbows and waited for the sea-like motion to stop before I fully stay up. “Thanks,” I said, taking the glass and draining every drop.
“Good girl. Now do you need help getting changed?”
“Yeah, I can’t sleep in my bra.”
She laughed. “And your dress, earrings and shoes?”
“Bra more,” I replied, tugging the hem of my dress. Chloe pulled me to my feet and assisted getting me undressed and into some pyjamas.
“Now into bed.”
I did as I was told and snuggled under my quilt. “Chloe?”
“Yeah?”
“She’s just a friend, right?”
Chlo sighed and brushed my hair behind my shoulder so it wasn’t falling in my face. “Of course she is. Get some sleep, Nelly, you’re going to feel like shit in the morning.”
“Thanks for looking after me. Sorry I got drunk.”
“No, you’re not. You asked me to get you drunk.”
“You’re right, I’m not sorry, but I am grateful for you.”
“Anytime. Love you.” She kissed my forehead, and I was drifting by the time she closed my bedroom door.
When I turned up at Mum’s for out bi-weekly dinner, Dad’s car was in the drive. My heart fell right the way down to my feet. Disappointment fizzled in my veins but I wasn’t surprised. I was never surprised but today I was too hung over to deal with it. How many times would they do this?
Damon picked a bad weekend to go away. I needed something physical and exhausting to get my mind off what was undoubtedly going on here. With shaking hands I grabbed a packet of Paracetamol from my bag and popped a couple.
Pulling myself together and praying the painkillers would kick in soon; I blinked the first signs of tears away and got out of the car. I’d reached my limit of anger when it came to my parents and their actions years ago so even though I wanted to scream at them both I knew it was pointless.
I walked in and found them in the kitchen. Mum was stirring gravy and Dad was smiling at her from the other side of the island. Dad spotted me first and pushed away from the marble worktop. Seeing them combined with the hangover, doubled the churning in my stomach.
“There’s my little Nelly,” he said, rounding the island to give me a hug.
“Sweetie,” Mum said, hugging me next.
“Hi,” I replied tightly.
I just needed to get through the next few hours and I could go home to normality. It’d be a miracle if they didn’t bicker or argue over dinner.
“What’s going on?” I asked. It was a stupid question and one I’d asked so many times I’d lost count.
Dad smiled the same way he did every time, like the cat that got the cream. “We’ve decided to give things another go. I love your mum, Nell, and we’re both determined to make it work.”
I wanted to whack them around the head with the boiling gravy pan.
“What makes you think it’ll work this time?”
“Nell,” Mum said, her tone warning.
“No, love, Nell has a right to ask questions. There’s never been anyone else for me other than your mum, you know that.”
I understood that perfectly. I could also respect it. But that didn’t mean they should be together. If there was ever two people that should stay away from each other – preferably by one of them moving to Australia – it was my parents.
“Right,” I replied. “Well, let’s hope it doesn’t end the same as it has before.” Dozens of times before.
“It won’t,” Mum said. She always sounded so sure and I had no idea how she could be after going round in circles for such a long time. “Now, would you like a glass of wine with dinner? It won’t be long. You can have one, right?”
“Sure. That’d be great.”
Keeping the disappointment from my voice was so difficult.
“Could you get it please, I need to stir,” Mum said to Dad and then went back to her fucking gravy. I sat down and watched the picture perfect scene in front of me with tears in my eyes.
After dinner Dad went into the living room so he could catch the second half of the game and I stayed back to help Mum clean up.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, wiping the table vigorously.
“Yep, so there’s no reason why we need to talk about it.”
“There is if you’re going to give me the cold shoulder.”
“I’m not. Under the circumstances I think I’ve been very civil.”
She dropped the cloth on the table and straightened her back. “Things are different this time, Nell. We’re both trying hard to get along and talk about our problems before they turn into screaming matches.”
I’d only heard that about a million times before. I wondered if she still believed it. She couldn’t, surely?
“Really? What’s so different this time, Mum?”
“We’ve been apart for the longest period of time, both done some growing and we want to make it work. We’re trying so hard and Dad’s even suggested we see someone.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. That was a new development. Dad wasn’t someone that spoke about his problems to anyone. Still, I wasn’t at all convinced that they’d make it work. Until I saw it, I was one hundred per cent sceptical. They clashed in the worst way and unless one of them had had a personality transplant I didn’t even think a therapist would be able to help them sort it out. Some people just shouldn’t be together.
Rubbing my head, I groaned. Why were they doing this all over again? I just felt so done with it all. I was fed up of the same cycle over and over again. In a few months time they would break up, announce they hated each other and the other was the worst person in the world and I’d be back listening to them bitch about how they should have never put the effort in to get nothing back.
Same shit every single time.
“Fine, Mum. You know how I feel, I’ll never want you two to be together but there’s never been anything I could do about it.”
“Oh, don’t be like that. Most kids want their parents to be together.”
“Well,
thankfully
, most kids didn’t grow up with you and Dad.”
“Hey,” she snapped. “I know you’re not happy about it but there’s no need to go around saying hurtful things like that. You don’t understand our marriage.”
No, she didn’t understand marriage.
I held my hands up. “I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Neither do I, love. Can’t you just try to be happy for us?”
Nope, no way.
“I’ll pray for the best, that’s all I can give you.”
“Nelly, have a little faith. This time we’ll make it. Older and wiser and all that.” She turned back and continued wiping the table.
They got older but when it came to each other they’d never been wise.
I helped Mum clean up and then made a quick exit. The drive home was horrible; I was in one of the worst moods I’d been in in a long time.
If Damon was on my doorstep now I’d tell him to fuck off. The whole, stupid world could do one. People were idiotic and I’d never wanted to run away to a remote island more.
Screw work tomorrow, the second I got in I was opening a bottle of white and downing the lot. Thankfully for us both, Damon wasn’t waiting for me when I got in, because he’d still be at his parents probably.
Mum tried calling but I ignored it in favour of pouring wine right to the top of the glass. My phone vibrated two minutes later and it was Dad’s name that showed up. Looks like she’d told him about our conversation.
I gulped the wine, wincing at the same time.
My phone rang for a third time and I was just about to launch it at the wall when I noticed it was Chloe’s name on the screen. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to her either but I knew if I didn’t she’d only worry and then might come over.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey, how are you?”
I’m drowning my sorrows.
“Fine, you?”
“Good. Logan’s working late tonight so I’m watching chic flicks and eating chocolate. How was dinner with your mum?”
I snorted. “It turned into dinner with Mum and Dad.”
“They’re back together?” She asked.
“Yep.”
Chloe knew better than anyone else how toxic their relationship was but she didn’t know just how bad things had got. I didn’t want her to.
“Wow. Can’t say I’m surprised. Are you alright about it?”
“Nothing I can do. They’re adults, apparently.”
“Sorry, hun. Do you want me to come over?”
“Nah, I’m good. Might have an early night.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, thanks, though. Call you tomorrow.”
We hung up as I dropped onto the sofa. I clenched my jaw and managed to keep my tears at bay for another ten seconds before I broke down.
Nell
I was in a shit mood and it was all thanks to my parents. After being split up for a while I’d stupidly got complacent with the feeling of peace. Now they were back together and a pit of worry the size of the Grand Canyon weighed heavily in my stomach.
Groaning at the shrill ring of the alarm on my phone, I tapped snooze and covered my eyes with my arms. Sleep hadn’t come until the early hours, which did not help. I wanted to redo today already and I hadn’t even left the bed yet.