Our Favorite Days (My Favorite Mistake #3) (27 page)

I
spent the rest of my winter break sleeping and working extra hours at the clinic. Mel had found a lot of jobs that allowed me to get off my feet, for which I was grateful.

“My stupid ankles are already starting to swell,” I said, holding my feet out one night and pouting.

“Oh, I’ve been there. People say that pregnancy is beautiful, but so much about it just isn’t.” We both laughed and she asked me if I was ready to have some more hours on the phone. I shook my head.

“No, I wish. I’m extra emotional and I don’t think that would be good for anyone.” She said she understood, but I still felt guilty.

I hadn’t told anyone, but I was starting reevaluate my desire to work in a crisis center like this one. I’d wanted to do it for so long, but I just wasn’t sure I was ready to handle that kind of stress and responsibility. I didn’t know if I could come home from work and leave it behind to focus on my family.

I had a little freak-out the next Wednesday and sat down to talk to Mel again. I’d just been washing some of the donated clothes when it came over me. My heart constricted, I couldn’t take a full breath and I thought I was going to die. I’d had to sit right down on the floor and tell myself that I was fine and needed to just calm down. I wasn’t sure what brought it on. Maybe it was thinking about all the laundry in my future.

“Oh, I remember having an anxiety attack at the end of my junior year, Taylor. I think everyone questions all their life decisions at that point.” I nodded.

“Something I might suggest is to make an appointment with your academic advisor.” That was something I hadn’t even thought of. “They might have some better advice. But for what it’s worth, Taylor, I think you can do this. I think you have the passion and the drive to be really good. But if you decide it’s not for you, it’s better to figure that out sooner rather than later.” It all made sense, so I emailed my advisor and asked for a meeting when the next semester started. I also needed to talk about reworking my schedule and pushing back my graduation date.

I tried not to be down about it, but sometimes I got a little blue. Good thing my friends were always there to remind me that this part of my life was only temporary and a few years down the road, none of this was even going to matter.

They had good points, as always.

I had the tables turn on me when Hunter told me he was going to drop the Steiners. Suddenly I was the one talking sense into someone else. I had to sit him down and tell him I didn’t want him to do that.

“You love singing with them and you’re good at it. I don’t want you giving stuff up because you think I want you to.” He tried to convince me that he should, but I put my foot down.

“The only reason you should quit is if it doesn’t make you happy. We both know it does. I see you light up when you’re on stage. So shut up and rub my feet.” He rolled his eyes, but caved. That was one of the good things about being pregnant. I could pretty much get away with anything. Not that I used that to my advantage. Much.

I
had my second appointment with Dr. Howard, this time without an ultrasound. Just a quick check to make sure everything was going well. We wouldn’t get to know what we were having until 20 weeks, which was about a month away.

“You didn’t find another one in there?” I asked Dr. Howard.

“I don’t think so, but you never know.” She listened with what was called a Doppler and then told me that there were just two heartbeats.

Yellowfield House was already taking bets on what we were having and it was getting pretty heated. Darah even made a chart on a special whiteboard she’d bought and drawn little babies on it. It was terribly cute. So far Darah, Dusty, Paul and Hunter were rooting for one boy and one girl. Renee, Jos and I were rooting for two girls. Mase was the lone holdout for two boys. They were also voting on: my due date, the weight of each baby and their length. We had quite the little betting ring going for the Spawns, but everyone was having so much fun with it, I couldn’t rain on their parade.

W
e all started our second semesters at the end of January and Hunter was ready to graduate, as well as Mase, Darah, Paul and Renee. They liked to rub it in that they were going to be done before me, but then I reminded them that they all wanted to get advanced degrees so they weren’t leaving school anytime soon.

“What a bunch of nerds we are,” Hunter said.

“Nerds make more money,” Mase pointed out.

It was true.

Poor Jos and Dusty had at least two more years of their undergrad and got grumpy anytime someone else talked about graduation.

It was going to be weird because we were headed toward an ending. It wasn’t realistic to think that everyone was going to stay in Yellowfield House next fall. UMO just didn’t have graduate programs for everyone, so there was going to be a split of sorts.

I tried not to think about it, but I caught Darah and Mase talking very intently in the kitchen when they didn’t know I was home.

“Whoa, what did I just walk in on?” I asked.

“Nothing,” they both said in completely unconvincing tones.

“Okay, I’m not even going to pretend that I believed you. What’s up?” I sat down and they gave each other one of those looks that couples who have been together a while can have where they communicate without words.

“I got into law school. In Portland.” I knew he’d applied. He was getting his undergrad in International Relations with the ultimate plan of being a lawyer specializing in immigration.

“Congratulations!” I said, even though my heart was sinking.

“If I could stay here, I would.” I waved him off.

“Mase. I’m not going to make you give up law school so you can stay home and babysit for me. That’s ridiculous. And what are you going to do, my dear?” I asked Darah.

“Got into USM for my master’s in accounting,” she said with a shrug. As if it was no big deal.

“Dare! That’s awesome! And totally perfect because you can move to Portland. I’m a little jealous.” I really was happy for them. I could see them both heave a sigh of relief.

“We’re not going to head out until after the babies come, don’t worry,” Darah said with a smile.

“I know. And I am thrilled. We all have to grow up sometime.” They both hugged me and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone. They made an announcement at dinner and Renee cried. Of course. But then she announced that she’d gotten into the master’s program at UMO. Paul was going to be getting a master’s there as well, so they were staying. Thank God. Not everyone was leaving the nest yet.

V
alentine’s Day came and with it the first ultrasound with the potential to see the sex of the babies. I was twenty weeks along and dying to know.

“I know I made a bet, but I really don’t care,” Hunter said. “And hey, we might end up with two genderfluid kids, so who knows?” He did have a point there.

Dr. Howard did the drill with the gel.

“Are you ready to find out?” Hunter had his phone, ready to send a group text the minute we knew. Everyone who lost the bet had to take the winners out to dinner.

“Okay, now if Baby A could stop moving for a second…” The babies had been very active lately. The first moment I’d felt them move had been absolutely surreal. I’d screamed at Hunter and he’d run over to put both hands on my belly. He’d cried when he’d finally felt that little flutter for the first time, and of course that had made me cry. We were a wreck. Since then, everyone had wanted to put their hands on my belly, especially Renee and I wanted to wear a sign that said “do not touch.”

“Do you want to know the sex?” We both nodded.

“Looks like Baby A is a girl.” A little shriek escaped my mouth and Hunter pumped his fist in the air.

“We’ve got a least one!” Dr. Howard laughed as she pointed out the little girl bits and then moved to Baby B.

“I don’t know who was betting on what, but Baby B is a boy.” Hunter jumped out of his chair and did a Rocky victory run around the room before I told him to stop gloating.

“One of each,” I said. Now we could pick out names and really start putting their room together. I didn’t want to go super heavy on boy = blue and girl = pink because that was just stupid. Hunter and I had decided on a storybook theme and a friend of Summer’s agreed to do a mural for us for free if we bought the paint.

Hunter texted the gang and his phone started blowing up while Dr. Howard wiped the gel off my belly.

“So, one of each,” I said, giving Hunter a kiss. “So then we’ll be even.”

“That’s what you think. I’m going to get them both on my side and then you’ll be mean Mom who’s no fun,” he said as we left. I laughed.

“That’s what
you
think, but I’m the one who can put the fear of God in them with one look. I’ve been practicing.” It was a variation of Resting Bitch Face, I was pretty sure.

Hunter pretended to cower.

“Oohhhh, terrifying. Now tell me you’re going to send me to my room without supper.” I just narrowed my eyes slowly.

“Now that is terrifying.”

“S
o, you are vetoing the name Hunter II,” I said as Taylor and I lay in bed that night. Now that we knew the genders, we were officially talking about names. I’d gotten several books and Taylor had a few sites up on her laptop.

Naming your kids is not easy. We’d already begun to take each name and make sure we could minimize the ways other kids could make it into something dirty or gross.

“We are not using our son to feed your ego,” she said, crossing it off the list I was making.

“But then we name the other one Taylor II, see?” She shook her head.

“Then we couldn’t call them by their first names and we’d have to call them by their middle names and that’s just stupid.” I was only joking about the names. I just hadn’t seen any that I was really excited about.

“What do you think about waiting until they’re born? I always think it’s a shame that people stick their kid with a name before they even meet them. The name might not even fit.” Taylor chewed on her pen and thought about that.

“You’re right. So maybe we should make final lists of names and then when they’re born we can match the baby with the name.” Excellent.

“Oh, and middle names yes or no?” She nodded.

“Middle names definitely yes. Because then you can make them scared when you use their first and middle name when you yell at them.” I pointed my pen at her.

“Good point. We need to take any advantage we can get.”

We stayed up for hours, looking through lists and lists of names.

“We should probably look up the meanings too. We don’t want to name our kid something that really means asshole in Swedish or something,” Taylor said.

“Yes, we definitely don’t want to name our kid Asshole.” I wrote that down and then crossed it off. She chucked her pen at me and then we were rolling around on the baby books and taking our clothes off and forgetting about any names other than our own for a while.

Taylor was a little self-conscious about her body, but I did whatever I could to reassure her that she was still so, so beautiful. The bigger she got, the more fascinated I was about her body and its ability to sustain not only her life, but that of Spawns, who we were now calling Boy Spawn and Girl Spawn.

I could spend hours just staring at her belly and pressing my fingers in to feel them moving.

“It’s really creepy if you think about it. They’re like parasites. Sweet parasites that we love and protect,” she’d said. “But if anyone tried to harm them, I don’t even know what I would do. I’ve never felt that way about anything. Except maybe for you.”

I agreed with her totally. On the nights when I still woke up from the start of a nightmare, I would imagine them to bring myself back. My little girl, with Taylor’s sass and my little boy, who was a bundle of energy and into everything. Or maybe our boy would have the sass and the girl would have the energy. Either way.

Spring was always chaos, but this was a whole other level. Between my very pregnant fiancée, studying, supervising an addition on the house, Steiners and sleep, I was going non-stop.

Taylor had to keep reminding me to slow down and chill every now and then. One night when I had been grinding on my homework for hours, she came over with cold beer and handed it to me without a word.

“Oh, how did you know I needed this?” She sat down next to me, her hand on her belly. She did it so often now, sometimes rubbing in little circles, as if soothing our babies.

“Because I’m psychic,” she said, tapping her forehead. “I think you should go with Mase and Paul and Dusty and have a boy’s weekend.” I opened my mouth to tell her all the ways that was a terrible idea, but she put her hand up.

“You have done so much for me. I’ve been a complete pain in the ass and I want to do something for you. So, I booked a hotel in Portland and you are going. Go out, have fun, or stay in and watch porn. I don’t care. Just have a good time. The girls will be here to take care of me. Renee has already been charged with texting you periodic updates.” She’d cut down all of my objections before I could even raise them.

“So, that’s what you’re doing.” She crossed her arms. There was no fighting with her.

“Okay, okay. But not just want one text a day. Several times a day. And probably at night.” She rolled her eyes but agreed to humor me. Her pregnancy was higher risk because of the twins and there was definitely a possibility of early labor. I hated to leave her, but she had a point. The longer I waited, the harder it would be to go at all.

I did need some time away, and I knew the other guys did as well. Plus, Mase wanted to scope out the going out scene he was going to have for next year.

When I told them what was happening, none of the other guys were surprised. I was a little pissed that I was the last one to know, but I sucked it up, packed a bag, kissed my girl, kissed my babies and headed out the door.

“T
o senior year, babies and good times,” Mase said as we all raised our glasses at the small tavern we’d found in the Old Port. Dusty was a little upset that he couldn’t have a beer, but the rest of us were sampling the craft brews on tap.

“Damn, that’s good,” I said after the first frothy sip. “We should put in a bar downstairs.”

“Now that is a good idea,” Mase said. “Then you could have something on tap for whenever you wanted it.” Dusty and Paul nodded.

“Yeah, but I don’t really need a bar when my kids don’t currently have a place to sleep.” Mase snorted.

“That’s probably a good point. So, you’re excited about fatherhood?” It did feel a little weird to be the only one of my friends who was in my situation, but something told me at least one or two of them would be following in my footsteps very soon.

And then who would they be asking for advice? I was going to become the Yoda of parenting.

“Yeah, man. I couldn’t be more excited. Sometimes I feel like I’m actually going to explode.” They all shook their heads.

“More power to you,” Paul said. “I don’t see Ne signing up for babies anytime soon. Or ever.” I could see that. Renee had had enough of raising her siblings, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she was done with kids.

We talked about work and school and our girls and I felt myself really relaxing for the first time in weeks. Of course I missed Taylor, but it was nice to be out of the house with the guys for a little while.

After we ate and had drinks, we wandered around and then had a nightcap at another bar before crashing at the hotel.

True to her word, Renee sent me my updates on Taylor. She was doing fine, watching movies and pigging out with the girls. Renee sent me a picture of Taylor with a bowl of ice cream balanced on her belly and it made me smile. I was glad she was having fun too.

The next day we went bowling (Zaccadelli/Mason vs. Sharp/Buckley; Mase and I smoked Paul and Dusty. It was almost embarrassing for them, but they were good sports and lost gracefully. Or at least they didn’t complain too much), toured a brewery and got a little drunk again while listening to a terrible band at another bar.

You’d better be sober when you get home
Taylor said and I just laughed.

“We should do this again for your bachelor party,” Dusty said when we drove home the next morning. I yawned and nodded. We were all crammed into his Golf, since it was the only vehicle that could fit all of us that also was currently working. Dusty had been taking things slow so we didn’t completely bottom out. Mase and I had most of the backseat, which still wasn’t much room.

“That would be great but I still have no idea when I’m getting married. Might be a while now with the twins coming. I’m pretty sure Taylor doesn’t want to put on a gown with her belly and have all of our wedding pictures like that.” Definitely not. I could tell her she wasn’t fat until I was fucking blue in the face, but she was still going to criticize what she saw in the mirror.

“Dare and I might get there before you,” Mase said and I turned in my seat to glare at him.

“Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?” I said and his face got a little red.

“Yeahhhhhh, um, I kinda picked out a ring.”

“What the hell, dude?” Paul and Dusty started laughing at me for being so mad.

“When did you decide to propose?” He shrugged. Mase was so chill about everything.

“Honestly? Like, two seconds after I met her, but I figured it would be a good idea to wait a little bit.” It was true. Mase and Darra had hit it off from day one.

“When we get back I want to see. And you’d better not propose better than I did. Girls compare this stuff.” I was totally happy with how I had proposed, but if Mase outdid me, I was going to be pissed. Mase and I had always been competitive, though.

“You’re going to outdo me in the baby category. I’m pretty twins are not in the future for me and Dare. Unless there’s some twin gene that we both have.” That would be crazy. Hope would lose her mind in the best way with that many grandchildren.

“What about you, Paul? Any plans on proposing.” He snorted and shook his head.

“Renee is not a fan of marriage. So I’m thinking we’ll just stay together and maybe when we’re fifty we’ll head off to Vegas one weekend.” There was a little twist in the pit of my stomach when he mentioned eloping to Vegas.

“So don’t get married. You don’t have to,” I said.

“Right. I mean, my mom would like it, but she doesn’t really get a say. My priority is Ne.” The spotlight turned to Dusty and he just smiled and shook his head.

“Dude, my house just burned down. I can barely afford underwear right now let alone a ring. And I’m pretty sure Renee would kill me if I proposed. Besides, I feel like we’re not even close to being ready for that. No offense, but holy shit, the idea of marriage and babies scares the shit out of me.” He laughed and I couldn’t blame him.

“Um, they scare the shit out of me and I have twins coming in a few months.”