Our Hearts Entwined (7 page)

“Oh, that’s really nice. I’m flattered,” she smiled, trying to hide her upset over not remembering that either. Clearing her throat she got a hold of her emotions and continued the conversation. “So when you say I’ve been easy going, do you mean that you like that I’m more at ease with my body or that I’m just more easy going in general?”

“Uh – both I guess, I love that you’re so comfortable in your skin Mi, it’s very sexy. But it’s been good that you’re being a bit spontaneous too. You know? We’ve been hanging out and doing a lot more things than we normally would. I don’t know,” he said shrugging his shoulders and downing the last of his coffee. “Things are just different – they’re better though, I like it,” he told her, watching her face and noticing that she wasn’t looking as happy as he felt.

“Listen Mi, I love you no matter what. If you’re putting all this effort into our relationship because you’re worried about us, you don’t have to. I love the way things have been between us, but if seeing me every night is wearing you out then we can go back to just weekends if you want – I’ll miss you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to change for me. I just… god, what am I even trying to say here...? I guess what I’m saying is – that I love the new you, I love how we’re connecting and I love spending more time with you. But, if it’s some sort of act, or if it’s making your life harder to spend so much time with me, then I don’t want it. I’d rather it if you were happy – not just me,” he said earnestly, becoming increasingly concerned about Mia the more she questioned him about their recent time together. Then it dawned on him. “Hang on – you don’t even remember spending time with me do you? That’s what all the questions are about aren’t they?” he said, his eyes wide and his mouth falling open as he looked at her, her eyes shining with tears that she refused to shed and the worry that she wasn’t willing to voice right now.

Blinking hard, Mia grabbed hold of his hands to reassure him. “No Eric, I promise I’m fine – I saw you last night right? Louise and Josh were there and I refused to sign to Louise right? I just went straight into your room,” she stated, borrowing the memory from Louise’s descriptions of recent events so as not to alarm him. “Listen, I’m just really very exhausted tonight, I need some sleep. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m sure.”

“Alright,” he said rising from his seat. “I’ll go home and let you rest. Call me tomorrow. I want to make sure you’re ok.”

“I will, thanks Eric,” she said as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head as a good bye.

“Um, you’re not pregnant or anything are you? I only ask because this sounds a lot like how Baz said his wife was last year before they found out.”

“No Eric, you know I’m on the pill.”

“Yeah, well, they don’t always work – maybe you should check. Just to be sure.”

“Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright, love you, rest well,” he said as he let himself out, leaving Mia still sitting at the table, her coffee only half finished, her energy depleted and her worries overflowing. Now she had something else to add to her list.

Mia finally decided to go to her family doctor to raise her concerns after her chats with Louise and Eric. He administered a simple urine test for pregnancy, and it came back negative. While she was relieved that her problems weren’t caused by pregnancy, she still couldn’t ignore the possibility that she wasn’t actually sleeping when she thought she was and explained all of this to her GP.

The GP drew some blood for testing, and had also seen fit to give Mia a referral to a local psychiatrist to look into her problems further.

Mia’s doctor was a kind, soft-spoken man, who had been her GP for as long as she could remember. He felt that it was possible that as Mia had never sought counselling after her parents death then she may be suffering from a case of post-traumatic stress disorder. After hearing her talk about her blackouts and how her friends claimed that they saw her behaving differently, Dr Cartwright felt that it would be prudent to have her properly assessed.

“And Mia, you have let this go long enough. I would advise that you speak to someone sooner rather than later. I have given you a referral to a relatively new practice, they don’t have many patients yet so you should be able to get in straight away. I can call them now if you like?” he asked, looking at her over the top of his frameless glasses.

“That won’t be necessary, but thank you,” she said, taking the referral paper as he held it out to her. “I’ll call them myself. I’ll have to organise a time around work anyway.”

“See that you do Mia, your blood test result will be back within the week and I’d like it if you have already spoken to Doctor Butler before your next appointment.”

“Of course,” she said smiling with as much confidence as she could muster in an attempt to hide the real turmoil that was raging through her mind. A Psychiatrist!? To Mia, the fact that he referred her could mean only one thing – he had reached the same conclusion as she had.

A week later when Mia got the all clear from her blood test, she still hadn’t worked up the courage to call the psychiatric clinic and make an appointment. She was too frightened now to find out exactly what was wrong. Scared that it was something that would end up getting her locked away.

Dr Cartwright assured her that that wasn’t going to be the case and called Dr Butler himself, making an emergency appointment for Mia and telling her to drive straight there.

“Do I need to drive you myself to make sure you go this time?” he asked, his eyebrows set high on his head as he studied her demeanour.

“No… I’ll go. I promise.”

“Good, I’ll be checking up on you young lady,” he informed her before sending her on her way.

Mia drove straight to the clinic. It was on a corner block, situated not far from her home in a converted cream brick house. It only had two available doctors and Mia was to meet with Dr Evelyn Butler.

It was now almost a month after her first worrisome altercation with Eric. She had dreaded this moment and hated that she was told to take a seat in the green walled waiting room. She waited for what seemed like an age, staring at the words on her ereader, never actually absorbing any of them. She couldn’t seem to stop her knee from bouncing or her stomach from sloshing around as if it were a washing machine on the rinse cycle.

The receptionist, a small Chinese girl named Cherry, who, despite looking at Mia oddly when she entered, seemed to have the happiest of demeanours and kept smiling brightly at Mia every time she looked over at her nervously.

Eventually, a call came through and after making a few agreeable noises she stood up from her desk and walked over to Mia, informing her that it was time to see the doctor. “Evelyn will see you now,” she said leading Mia to a cream door with a brass plaque that read ‘Dr. Evelyn Butler’. Underneath her name were a bunch of letters that meant very little to Mia but obviously indicated her credentials.

Mia stood at the entrance, it was the first door on a wall with four more, and briefly wondered if she should simply turn around and go home. She was afraid that once she opened that door, her worst fears might become realised.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to bolster her confidence, she forced her body to move.

“Mia is it?” the doctor asked from the chair she sat in, her head bowed as she focused on the file in front of her instead of the blonde that just entered her office.

Doctor Evelyn Butler was a middle aged woman with short dyed blonde hair, elegantly styled and set so it stayed firmly when she moved her head.

“Yes, Mia Smyth,” Mia confirmed as she moved through the door towards her.

“Come in, come in, take a seat,” she sing songed, closing the files in front of her and setting them aside before finally looking up at Mia. Her brow wrinkling slightly as their eyes met and an emotion that Mia couldn’t quite place passed across her face. “It is Mia, right?” she repeated.

“Yes, that’s my name,” Mia said as a matter of fact, watching Evelyn, as Evelyn watched her.

Taking a larger inhale of breath than was necessary, Evelyn cleared her throat and began speaking. “I’m afraid that something has come up and I won’t be able see you today. But my colleague is available and he is more than capable. Are you comfortable seeing him instead of me?” she offered.

“Um, yes, that’s fine, I just need to talk to someone, anyone really,” Mia stated, her voice slightly shaky, she had been nervous enough without having to go and meet another doctor on top of everything else.

“Excellent,” Evelyn said, picking up her phone and her tablet computer. “Hi, listen, I’m sending a new client over to you,” she said down the line, tapping away on her tablet as she spoke. “Yes, I’m giving you access to her file now… great. I'll send her in,” she finished, hanging up and smiling brightly at Mia as she rose from her chair. “Follow me Mia, I’ll take you through the office to his consulting room,” she said, walking ahead to lead Mia through a side door that opened into an obviously joint office with two dark wood desks and other matching office furniture.

Mia didn’t get much of a look as she was whisked quickly to the door on the other side where Evelyn knocked twice and opened it, gesturing for Mia to walk through.

“Good luck, you’re in good hands,” Evelyn assured her before retreating into the office and closing the door behind her.

Evelyn’s colleague had his head bowed also, causing Mia to wonder if this was some sort of intimidation tactic. He wasn’t using any tactics however - he was simply reading the file Evelyn had sent through to his tablet, trying to gather all the information they had on hand about this new client before they started. As he raised his head, he said, “Hello, I’m Cay–”

“Cayd Donnelly,” Mia finished for him, watching his surprised expression as his eyes met hers, instantly recognising her from their sexually charged meeting at the school. “I suppose you won’t be able to see me either,” she commented, deflated. Despite not wanting to face what was happening to her, she had hoped that now she was here, she could get to the bottom of her worries.

“No, I can’t. Not after I ah…”

“Asked me out,” she finished for him again.

He laughed nervously, his eyes dragging up the length of her body as the feelings he had around her when they first met ran rampant through his body. Clearing his throat he adjusted slightly in his chair. “I ah, probably shouldn’t have even done that,” he said. “It was rather unprofessional of me. Um, Did you know this was my practice?” he asked.

“No,” Mia said, walking over and plonking herself down on his couch. “I went to my GP and he referred me to Evelyn. I had no idea you were here too – believe me, there’s no way I’d want you – of all people, seeing me like this,” she blurted out, tears escaping from her eyes as her disappointment and frustration overflowed, leaking out of her eyes in a shining torrent under the bright ceiling lights.

Cayd’s chest tightened as he watched her, it pained him to see her so upset. “Please don’t cry Mia, we’ll work something out. I’ll find you someone to talk to,” he told her soothingly.

Mia’s crying turned into heaving sobs. “I’m s-sorry,” she wept. “It’s just that my life is such a mess and I was so nervous coming here. I was hoping for some answers and now…” she shook her head and reached out to accept the tissues that Cayd was offering her.

He wanted nothing more than to put his arms around her in comfort. He was used to seeing his patients in tears but seeing the beautiful Mia cry in front of him was more than he could bear. She wasn’t a patient - she was the object of his affection. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since they first met at the school.

“Mia,” he said softly, moving from his chair to sit on the coffee table in front of her. “I can’t be your doctor of course, but if you’d like, I can be your friend – you could tell me what’s wrong and then I can make sure I refer you to the right person. Would that help at all?”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, you hardly know me,” Mia sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the tissue and trying to calm her breathing back down to a normal rate.

“I talk to my friends all the time Mia, it comes with the territory – although the circumstances are admittedly a little different here but, I’m willing to listen if you’re willing to talk. Off the books of course.”

“Alright,” she whispered, looking down at the crumpled tissues in her hands as she worked up the courage to give her concerns a voice. “I…I’m scared that I might be going crazy – this sounds ridiculous, but it’s like I have a separate personality or something. I keep blacking out and people are telling me that I’m doing things and that I’m not acting like myself… I don’t remember and it’s scaring me,” she said in a rush, holding onto her breath when she finished, and watching Cayd with worried eyes.

Cayd took a deep breath as he searched Mia’s face for the truth in her statement as she continued to worriedly watch him, twirling the end of her long plait with her fingers as she waited for him to respond.

“Multiple personalities?” he asked calmly to which Mia nodded her head, albeit reluctantly, before launching into a description of her life over the last month.

“You see, I’ve been getting these terrible head aches and when I go to lay down I don’t think I actually do, because my boyfriend and my best friend are telling me that I did things that I don’t remember doing. That I’ve been behaving strangely,” she told him again, the word ‘boyfriend’ grating on Cayd’s nerves a little when he heard it.