Our Time (5 page)

"You need a woman with a
good head on her shoulders. A woman who knows what is important in life and who
will see you for the sweet guy that you really are. Now, tell me about the
kid," Maddy demanded excitedly.

I couldn't help but smile so wide
that my eyes nearly shut. "Oh man. Her name is Olivia and she is just
incredible. She is the most adorable little girl I have ever seen and she's
smart. She loves Jocelyn and just… God, I melt when she smiles at me."

"Whoa, Andrew! You never
talk like this. You are being really sappy. Ty looks like he is going to be
sick."

Madison was shocked and I could
tell that she was starting to tear up. "Don't let something like the fear
of becoming an insta-dad chase you away from something so special."

"Maddy, I hardly know her. I
just met her this morning and I helped her with a few boxes and stuff. She is
really reserved and I don't know if she is even interested in being anything
more than just a quiet neighbor."
Plus,
I thought to myself,
I
feel a little insane liking a woman this much after only talking to her a
couple of times.

"I think something big
happened to her and that's why she moved here," I added. "But I can't
seem to get any answers from her."

I ran a hand through my hair and
waited for Madison to tell me something profound. I heard movement on the other
side of the wall. Jocelyn was out of the shower and was probably going to sleep
now. I wished that I could be next to her and just look at her.

"Like you said, Drew, you
hardly know her and she hardly knows you. Give it some time. You probably scare
her and she has a daughter to look out for. Remember that. Her little girl is
the priority. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I hung my head and felt
thoroughly put in place. She was right, and why should that make me back off?
The fact that she considered her kid a priority only said that much more about
her. "You are right, sis. Man, when did you get to be so much like Mom?
You are so wise it's scary."

She chuckled at that, "Well,
I do have a man-child that I take care of. You have to grow up fast when
something like that comes along. But all kidding aside, I only know what I'm
saying is right because it
is
what Mom would have said and you know
it."

"Thanks, Maddy."

"So?" she chimed.
"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure." I
tapped my chin and thought of what I could do to make sure I saw her again.
"Any suggestions?"

"Hmmm."

Ty's voice chimed in, "I
know! My sister has passes to go to the zoo this weekend. She wanted Madison
and me to take the kids since she has to work. Why don't you come with us and
bring Jocelyn?"

I considered it for a moment and
then shook my head, "I don't know. She doesn't seem like she would just go
somewhere with me, a near complete stranger, for a day."

Maddy sighed. "You are
probably right, but it's more for the kids. Olivia would probably get a kick
out of Josh and Ella. There is a chance that she would want her daughter to
have a fun day at the zoo."

The sudden excitement made my head
swim. There
was
a chance. "Alright, it's worth a shot. I would want
to do something with Olivia anyway. You guys are going to love her, if Jocelyn
agrees to come."

"She will, Drew. You are too
good of a guy for her to not trust you," Madison said with resolve.

We made plans for Saturday
afternoon and I told them I would let them know for sure by Friday. I had three
days to get Jocelyn to agree to come with me. I pictured Olivia looking at all
the animals and seeing her excited smile and hearing her giggle when she saw
the monkeys. My heart warmed at the image in my head.

What the hell? What has gotten
into you?

I asked myself that question over
and over again as I started to drift off and I decided not to care about it.
Whatever it was, it felt good.

Jocelyn

I was dreaming about a tall, dark
man with ocean blue eyes holding me and Olivia tightly in his arms and
promising that he would watch out for us. I wasn't scared or sad, just relieved
that Olivia would have someone and content to be wrapped in such strong arms
feeling safe and whole.

The sound of Saturday Night Fever
pulled me away, "
Ah ah ah ah stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

"Ugh! Damn phone." I
knew it was Benjamin before I even answered. He had programmed the song into my
phone long ago. Said it would give me motivation and reassurance every time he
called. It just made me hate the song even more.

"Hello?"

"Hey stranger! I have a bone
to pick with you. I have told you a million times to call my cell phone. There
is no need for you to call my office and you know it. You are my friend no
matter how far away you are and it hurts my feelings that you think I would be
too busy for you." He was upset, but amused at the same time.

"Good morning to you, too,
Ben." I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Couldn't you let me sleep a few
more minutes before you verbally chastised me?"

"No. Once I heard your
message, I was too ticked to wait. Now that I got it out, how did the move
go?"

I laughed softly, "I swear
you are bipolar."

"Only when it comes to you.
You bring out the worst in me, you know that? Make me worry all the time. I
already have enough stress with Linda and the kids, give me a break will
ya?"

"Okay, okay. The move went
well. The house is just the right size and I love the neighborhood. I think it
will be good for us."

He cleared his throat, "And?
Did you do it all by yourself like I told you not to?"

"Well, um, actually… no I
didn't. Well the first part, yes, but I had a neighbor help me quite a bit
yesterday. Almost settled in at this point."

There was silence. Baffled
silence. "Wait. You actually let someone help you? A stranger? And you
wouldn't let
me
?"

"It's not that simple, Ben.
He is attached to my house and you are hours away. We actually woke him up
yesterday morning and I felt bad. He wanted to help and I didn't know how to
say no when we had annoyed him already."

I walked into my bathroom and
looked in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes, betraying my
mostly
restful night. My headache was barely noticeable now, but I knew it would be
back.

"It doesn't sound like he
was
that
annoyed if he wanted to help with all your crap. Did he just
help you move some furniture or what?" He was worried about me being alone
in a new place. He had always looked out for me, especially after David. I
would need to assure him that Andrew was a nice guy so far and had good
intentions as far as I could tell.

"Well, I made him some
dinner as a thank you and he moved a lot of heavy boxes and helped me put up a
few shelves and stuff. He is a nice guy. Olivia really liked him and Monty
didn't maul him, so I figured I was safe," I said and shrugged, trying to
convince myself it was no big deal.

"Hmmm, well, if Liv
approves, I guess I'll back off. And I'm glad he helped. You have to remember
to take it easy, Joss. Even though you have been good for a couple years, it
doesn't mean that you can just go crazy and strain yourself - which you always
do and you know it. Plus, you need to meet new people. Let them in a
little." He sighed loudly and got right to business. He knew I hated
talking about this crap, so he would get it over with quickly.

"I have three names for you
along with contact information. Each one of them, I would personally go to or
send Linda to if I had the choice, so you know they are good. I don't know what
their schedules are like, but I would be happy to talk to them for you and give
a little push.

"We went to high school with
one of them, Michael Weston, he is a pretty funny guy and will take care of you
as if you were his own family. Julia Hyatt is a little more aggressive when it
comes to rules and compliance. You wouldn't want to cross her, but she would be
a good choice too. The last one, James Harrison, is fairly new to his practice,
but he was top of the class and is a good guy. He actually has a good outcome
with some of his more questionable methods of treatment and long term
maintenance." He paused for a long second and then asked what I was hoping
he wouldn't. "Joss, why do you suddenly want this information? Are you
doing okay?"

I took a deep breath and tried to
control my voice when I answered, "Yeah, I'm fine!" My voice was too
high and he would see right through it, so I cleared my throat and dropped it
an octave. "Yes, Ben. I just wanted to have it in case I needed some
questions answered or anything like that. I didn't want to need them and not be
able to reach you."

He absorbed my answer for a
minute and waited for me to tell him anything else, but I wasn't going to, and
he realized that when I exhaled noisily and said, "So? The numbers?"

"Fine," he grunted,
"but swear to me that if you notice anything out of the ordinary, you will
tell me immediately. You know how much Linda and I worry about you. We are here
for you no matter what, Joss."

"I know," I said
quietly. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and wished that I wasn't
so stubborn. I didn't know how to be any other way, though. Life had forced
this on me.

A few minutes later, I had all
the information written down and said goodbye to Benjamin. He was like the
brother I never had and I missed him like crazy.

Olivia hadn't made any noise yet
and I took that opportunity to pull out my new book and read a few chapters. I
didn't want to think about what those names meant. I didn't want to call any of
them, but knew that I should.

A few more days, then I'll do it.

Andrew

I woke up early to complete
silence, but complete chaos in my head. I didn't have to work today and I
considered just lounging around and watching TV all day, but thought better of
it. I would just talk myself out of asking Jocelyn to bring Olivia to the zoo
with me.

The more I thought about asking
her, the more I felt like I was back in high school getting prepared to ask
Monica Santori to the prom. That was the scariest thing I had ever done and she
had knocked me down like a piñata at a 6 year old birthday party. This wasn't
high school, though, and Jocelyn wasn't Monica Santori. She was better.

I pulled myself out of bed and
put on my running shoes. A good run would push out all this anxiety, I thought
to myself, and I needed to wake myself up. It did no good to sit around all day
and worry.

The morning sun was just peeking
out from behind the mountains and the cool breeze that greeted me on my porch
gave me a little more ambition. I worked out almost every day and made sure I
stayed in good shape, not only for my job, but for my own health. I wasn't the
healthiest kid growing up and would have rather played video games and ate
pizza and donuts all day than go outside for two seconds. Madison always begged
me to go swimming with her in the summer, but I always made an excuse that it
was too hot or I had better things to do. I was a big kid and none of it was
muscle. I could barely climb the stairs in school without getting winded.

It wasn't until Mom and Dad got
into that accident when I finally pulled my head out and realized that I was
only hurting Maddy by guaranteeing that I wouldn't be around for too long if I
kept it up. I was 17 when they died and I wasn't about to let Madison get stuck
with Aunt Nella and Uncle Chester. They were all about NASCAR, beer, and
partying and the 9 months we lived with them was much too long.

As soon as I turned 18, I got us
out of there and took over supporting Madison. Our parents had left us a lot of
money and the life insurance policy paid a large amount, too. Aunt Nella ended
up using a good chunk of it for a remodel she claimed was "only necessary
because she had to take care of us". They lost access to any money the
second we left. I got a better job and started working out and cooking and
cleaning and being the responsible adult Madison needed in her life.

I think I did a pretty good job
and Maddy reminds me of that all the time. I still wish I would have done a
better job of influencing her schooling. She only went to a year of college
before she decided it wasn't for her. I should have pushed her to keep at it
and at least get her Associate's Degree, but she was determined to make
decisions on her own and deal with the consequences. So far, she hadn't
regretted it.

Tyler had been my buddy since
high school and had never hinted at noticing Maddy, but then I was pretty sure
he was scared I would sit on him for even looking at her. After we moved out of
state, he followed and attended college near us and helped me take care of
Maddy. I just wish I would have realized that it was for her and not me.

She didn't even know what was
going on until a couple years ago and after they got married, they moved here
and I eventually followed. No sense being far away from her when she was the
only family I had.