Out of Breath (42 page)

I
TWISTED MY HANDS IN MY LAP. MY HEART
felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest.

‘Stop!’ I hollered, practically panting. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t.’

Silence. No pep talk. No coaxing. No trying to convince me.

I closed my eyes and took a breath. If my pulse kept this up, then I’d be sweating right through my dress. And that was not the impression I wanted to make. I took another breath.

I can do this. I can do this. All I have to do is walk. And smile. And maybe talk. I can do this.

I opened my eyes again, and said, ‘Okay. I’m ready.’

Evan glanced sideways at me. ‘Are you sure this time?’

‘Shut up and go,’ I pleaded, making him chuckle. My shoulders relaxed as we slowed to a stop.

A large soft-coral-coloured house sat before me. My breathing evened, and the panic subsided. Before I could step out of the car, the front door flung open and a little girl in a frilly pink dress came running out at full force. ‘Emma!’

She crashed against me, her arms wrapping around my stomach. ‘Hi, Leyla,’ I said, my eyes watering as I hugged her tight. ‘You look so beautiful.’

‘I knew you’d wear pink,’ she exclaimed joyously. ‘It’s our favourite colour.’

‘Mine too,’ Evan chimed in, making her giggle.

‘Jack, why don’t you go help Evan bring in their things,’ the woman with the coiffed grey hair instructed gently.

The young boy with the round wire glasses approached Evan hesitantly.

‘Hey, Jack,’ Evan said, holding out his hand. ‘I’m Evan.’ Jack grasped it, and a small smile emerged as he shook it. ‘You can take in this box, since it’s yours anyway.’ Jack’s eyes lit up when he accepted the gift wrapped in festive Christmas paper. ‘And I had to wrap it because Emma can’t fold a corner to save her life.’

Jack laughed.

‘True,’ I sighed.

‘Hello, Emily …’ My grandmother paused. ‘Emma. It’s nice to finally meet you in person.’ I raised my head to view the woman before me, who I easily resembled. The woman who had given me back my family.

My grandmother began to reach out with her hand, then stopped, undecided how to greet me. I slid away from Leyla.

‘Thank you,’ I said, wrapping my arms around her. She folded her thin strong arms around me and held me tight.

Nearly four years ago, a story came to me that demanded to be told. Over the years, I opened up and let a part of my soul pour out onto the pages. I was left vulnerable and exposed, giving everything I had to allow the story to be exactly what it needed to be. And I’m proud of the part of me I left on the pages. During the process I learned so much more about who I am – the most important being I’m so much stronger than I ever thought I was.

I did not, and could not, do this alone. There are many people in my life to be grateful for. For loving me, believing in me, and being exactly who I needed them to be along the way. I love them all, and they know who they are.

And then there is this select group of people who contributed their time, patience and affection for the story to help make the final chapters of this series spectacular …

First, I must thank Emily, for having such belief in me that she changed her life to be a part of mine. There isn’t a truer friend, or a more loving human being.

Elizabeth, my partner, my tether to sanity, and the voice I can never live without – Thank You! I am so fortunate to have such a beautiful person and devoted writing partner in my life, who is also so very talented at everything she does.

Faith, who never let this story be less than sincere and true, and, in turn, I have become a better writer.

Courtney, for making certain every emotion is genuine and every word is as powerful as it needs to be.

Nicole gave me more than she knew she did – her friendship and love above all else.

Amy, my awe-inspiring guru, for sharing the beautiful art of writing and allowing me to see it from a different angle.

Jenn, my destined friend, with whom I share my passion for storytelling, and who helped me find Emma’s voice when she needed to be heard.

Sarah, without whom I would never have found my way back to the beginning to make this a story that is so much more than just ‘a story’.

Tracey, Colleen and Tammara, my inspiring and talented friends, for reading my words and sharing theirs in return. They have each touched my life more than I can ever express!

The dedicated team at Trident Media Group, especially my agent Erica, who has been by my side every step of the way; even when I felt I was about to fall off the cliff, she kept holding on. Alex, for his patience, perseverance, and always being there when I needed him. And Meredith for her amazing efforts in sharing my words with the world.

Lindsey, Wendy and all at Penguin UK for allowing this story to reach across the ocean, to be shared with your readers. It is that important, and I am grateful.

I had the privilege of meeting and befriending many talented and fabulous authors over the past year, along
with some vivacious bloggers. I am a better person for having them in my life. We live in a world in which we create, and invite readers in with us to share in the vividness of our imagination. How fortunate are we to be able to touch someone we’ve never met, inspire with words and invoke emotion with the flip of a page. I am honoured to be among them.

And that leaves me with the reason for all that I do … my readers. If they were not there to share in my world, it would not truly exist. I am thankful to have them as a part of my life – it will never be the same.

Lastly, I must express my admiration for the strength and perseverance of every survivor of abuse. There is hope. There is love. There is help. You are not alone.

Published by the Penguin Group
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First published in the USA by Amazon Children’s Publishing 2013
Published simultaneously in Great Britain by Penguin Books 2013

Text copyright © Rebecca Donovan, 2013
All rights reserved

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Typeset by Jouve (UK), Milton Keynes

ISBN: 978-0-141-34822-3