Out of Control (Losing Control Series Book 2) (8 page)

His eyes got big. “Gia, I’m so sorry! I hurt you earlier, didn’t I? It was too rough.” He looked devastated.

“No, Ethan, you didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t too rough. It was absolutely perfect, I promise. I hadn’t had sex in a long time and I’m just a little swollen from all the new action.” I smiled.

“Are you sure that’s it?” he asked, relieved.

“Yes, I’m positive. And I’m all for more action tonight, I just wanted you to know so you could be careful, please.” He smiled at the fact that I basically just asked him to go slow and easy with me. But then he remembered I was sore.

“How about we take a break tonight and let you feel better?” He was always so considerate.

“How about we just go slow and see what happens?” I said, knowing it would be really hard, if not impossible, to be next to him in bed and not want him inside me.

“You’re insatiable,” he said smiling. And I knew he’d cave and give me whatever I wanted when we got into bed.

“When it comes to you, yes, I always want more.” I kissed him. “I’ll be in your bed, waiting for you.” And I went to bed.

I was waiting for him. I could hear him running the water and brushing his teeth. I was so relaxed and comfy. I fell asleep and something horrible happened.

I felt something between my legs and I woke up and pulled back the fresh smelling comforter. There was blood all over Ethan’s bed where I was laying! I started crying. Oh my god, I was having terrible stomach cramps and I knew I was having another miscarriage! I didn’t want Ethan to see this, what was I going to do? I couldn’t get up, the pain was excruciating and I had failed at carrying a baby yet again. I didn’t want to live. I didn’t want Ethan to see me this way! I somehow managed to stand up and I heard him coming out of the bathroom. There was blood running down my legs and all over his t-shirt I was wearing. I looked around frantically, looking for something, anything to end all of this. I saw a pair of scissors on the dresser and I lunged for them. “Oh my god, Gia.” I heard Ethan yell. I grabbed the scissors and heard him again, “Gia!”

I opened my eyes and Ethan was shaking me. He looked scared. “Gia, you’re having a nightmare. It’s okay, you’re safe.” He tried to take me in his arms but I was crying and trying to push him away. He overpowered me and got his arms around me and held me while I woke up completely and realized I’d had one of my recurring nightmares. Only this time Ethan was in it. I was shaking and crying but I relaxed my body into his and let him hold me.

He had one arm wrapped tightly around me and was stroking my hair with the other. He kissed the top of my head and I could feel warmth and safety. I stopped crying and the shaking finally went away. I could feel Ethan’s heartbeat again and it gave me a peaceful feeling.

“I know you probably don’t, but I have to put it out there. I’m here if you want to talk about it,” he said softly. I felt really close to him and I had to give him something.

“I have a lot of nightmares about having miscarriages,” I told him. “This one was really intense because it was right here and you were going to see me. I was bleeding on your bed and on your shirt.”

He tightened his arms around me. “My sweet Gia.” It warmed me even more. “I’m going to tell you something that I want you to think about carefully. Every word I say is the honest truth and is coming from my heart.” He had my full attention and I was listening carefully.

“You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. The more time I spend with you and the more I learn about you, the more amazing I know you are. I’m not Lex and I’d never treat you the way he did. I want to know everything about you, the good, the bad, and even what you think is the ugly. I’d never push you to tell me something that you aren’t ready to because I know that would scare you away, and that’s the last thing I want. The fact that you’ve lost three babies is heartbreaking. But what’s even more heartbreaking is that you’re letting the guilt and the rejection that Lex put on you keep you from living the life you deserve.”

He was still holding me tight and I knew that he meant every word he’d said. I made a decision right then that I’d been considering for a while. It was time to talk to someone about everything that had happened.

“Thank you for that, Ethan. You’re pretty amazing yourself. I’m going to get some help and maybe that someday will come when I can tell you the good, the bad, and even the ugly.” I had to follow through this time. I had to get my life back.

Chapter 12

Ethan

I was still holding Gia tightly when I woke up. I slept lightly all night just in case she awoke and needed me. She had her head on my chest just as she had when she’d fallen back to sleep after her nightmare. I knew we were making progress. She’d opened up to me more and more with each passing hour we’d spent together. I wished she could stay longer so I could convince her to give her whole self to me and then I’d prove to her that I’d still feel the same way about her. She’d been treated so wrong by Lex and I wanted to see her realize that it was him who needed to be ashamed and guilty, not her.

I felt sweet lips on my chest and I thought it was a perfect way to start the day.

“Good morning,” I said. “How are you?”

“Good morning.” She sounded so sweet with her voice still full of sleep. “I’m feeling optimistic this morning. How are you?”

“Well, any morning that starts out with you in my arms is a great morning. And hearing you say that you’re optimistic makes this an even better morning!” I kissed the top of her head. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Coffee, but not yours.” She was giggling.
What?

“What do you mean? You don’t like my coffee?” I tried to sound hurt but I had to smile at her giggles.

“It tastes like it might have tofu in it.” She could barely get the words out because she thought it was so funny.

“Is that right? Well, I guess I asked you to be honest with me, didn’t I?” I tried to tickle her as she climbed over me and headed to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna jump in the shower.” She then stalled in the doorway and lifted her shirt off. “You can join me if you want.” I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. She was laughing as she turned on the shower and put toothpaste on her brush.

“How come you didn’t have any panties on?” I teased her.

“Someone stole them,” she said like it was a mystery to be solved.

“I don’t blame them.” I smiled at her as we brushed our teeth.

She finished and got in the shower and started washing her hair. I watched her and toothpaste started running out of my mouth.
She couldn’t be sexier.

***

Gia

Ethan stepped in and grabbed me immediately. He kissed me with his minty fresh mouth. I pulled his head under the sprayer and then lathered up his hair. We took turns washing and rinsing each other.

“Are you still sore?” Ethan asked me as he reached between my legs gently.

“Yeah, a little bit,” I said as he washed me with the soapy sponge. “You’re doing a good job being gentle, though.” I soaped up my hands and started washing his cock. He was getting hard in a hurry and that made me feel sexy.

We rinsed ourselves and started kissing softly. The water and leftover soap on our bodies made us slippery and it felt good to slide my breasts and nipples across his chest. He kissed them. I loved the attention he gave them and they responded by getting huge and hard. He went to my stomach and licked it softly, putting kisses all over it while he looked up at me. I felt like he was trying to make a point about how he felt about what was inside. I thought it was sweet. He took me by the hips and turned me so I was facing away from him. He kissed my lower back and nibbled on the back of my hips. It sent electric tingles through my back all the way up to my neck. I shifted my weight from side to side as he worked his way up my back, which drove me completely crazy. By the time he got to my neck I had my hands against the wall of the shower like I was being arrested. I tilted my head back and forth, side to side as he sucked, kissed, licked, and bit me softly. I loved when he touched me on the back of my neck and having his mouth there while his hands were on my hips and his erection was rubbing against my ass was making me clench my thighs together just to feel some pressure between my legs. I turned my head around so I could have his mouth on mine and then turned my body to face his. He kissed me so tenderly I could feel his emotion, I felt completely adored at that moment and my eyes started to fill.

He backed up and reached out of the shower to his medicine cabinet for a condom. I took a deep breath and controlled my tears. He opened it. I reached out and took it from him. I went down to my knees and attended to his perfect cock. Then I set the condom on the tip like I’d seen him do and looked up at him. He smiled and nodded. So I looked back down and unrolled it over his long, hard shaft. I looked at my work and then I looked up at him. He was still smiling so I stood up. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. We did it with such ease we didn’t miss a beat of the soft sensual kissing we were doing. He pulled his mouth from mine and we locked eyes.

“Tell me if it’s at all uncomfortable and I’ll please you another way, okay?” he said.

I smiled. “Okay.” I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed either way. I reached down between my legs and spread open my slightly swollen lips so Ethan could enter me without pushing through them. He slowly entered me and I smiled big. It didn’t hurt at all, it felt beautiful and he smiled back at me. He had his hands on my ass and was easing me up and down, back and forth, and even around in circles. It felt so loving and passionate. I was getting emotional again and had to kiss him. I took his face in my hands and kissed him as tenderly as I could, hoping he would feel what I kept feeling. He stopped moving me and pulled out of the kiss to look into my eyes. We both just stared at each other and I felt tears running down my face. It was so intense and I wanted to tell him so many things at that moment but I didn’t say a word. I knew he could see it in my eyes and feel it when I touched him.

“Gia,” he whispered.

“I know, Ethan,” I interrupted. I started moving my body and kissing him again. It was so beautiful and the way I allowed myself to feel his love gave me an orgasm so intense it made me lose my grip on him as tears rolled down my face. He came right after I did. When I looked into his eyes, they were watery, too. I wrapped my arms around him and we held each other silently. We didn’t need any words—that was a big deal for me. I’d never had an emotional connection on that level during love-making. I was overwhelmed.

Ethan lifted me off then we carefully washed and rinsed again. I was surprised the water was still warm as I turned and shut it off. We stepped out and Ethan handed me a fresh towel. As we dried off we kept our eyes on each other but never said a word. We wrapped our towels around ourselves and went and got dressed. We met back in the bathroom. He shaved while I put some makeup on. Every time our eyes met in the mirror we smiled and my butterflies would go crazy. He finished shaving and left the room. I blow-dried my hair and gathered up all my stuff to put back in my bag. When I walked back out, I saw Ethan sitting on the side of the bed looking down at his hands. I dropped my things into my bag and went to him. I sat next to him and he looked at me.

“It’s killing me that I have to leave you in the city today.”

“I know. But that’s where I live and work. We can see each other often. I’ll only be two hours away. We’ll date and keep getting to know each other better. It’ll be fun,” I told him, trying to sound like it would be an adventure. “Live in the moment with me today, please. If you wouldn’t have been living in the moment with me in there,” I pointed to the bathroom, “Just think what we would’ve missed out on.”

“You’re right, Gia. But that in there was the ultimate proof about how we feel about each other. Please don’t forget how that felt. It was real.” His eyes were begging me to remember.

“Baby, how could I ever forget that? It was as intense as anything I’ve ever felt.” He was looking at me with an odd but happy expression.

“You called me baby,” he said quietly.

“What?” I asked, knowing that I never use that word as an endearment.

“You called me baby, Gia. And it just came naturally, you didn’t even think about it.” He was smiling and I could tell it made him feel really good. I didn’t know how to feel about it. If I really did say it, then I guessed it was okay. I’d probably never say it again but that was okay, too.

“Okay, well, can we go find some coffee?” I needed it.

“Of course. Let’s take the cart over to the c-store.” I could tell he felt better and I kissed him for living in the moment with me.

***

We went to the c-store and I got a delicious cup of coffee and Ethan got a healthy drink. We stopped and said hi to Marcus and then drove through the campground. It was almost empty now but it looked beautiful. Don was mowing and several other people were cleaning the sites and getting everything ready for Friday when it would be busy again.

“What are next weekend’s concerts?” I asked. He named some bands I wasn’t real familiar with. They were newer bands than the ones I listened to and I think a little on the punk rock side.

We drove through the gate to the main arena. and Ethan was checking out this and that.
He’s really done a fantastic job with this place
. This had been a part of his life for so long and I was happy for him that it was finally paying off. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and put my hand on the back of his neck. He leaned his head back and grinned. I couldn’t get over how gorgeous he was and kept staring at him. I didn’t even notice who we were going to talk to.

“Hey, Vince,” Ethan said and shook Vince’s hand. “You remember Gia, right?” Vince looked my way. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and excused myself like I’d just remembered a very important call I had to make. I walked far enough away to be out of earshot and lit a cigarette. I normally only smoked when I drank alcohol, but I was nervous about being around Vince. I wanted to call Dana, we hadn’t talked about anything that had happened this weekend yet, but I knew that would be a two hour conversation so I’d need to wait until I went home. I was wondering what Vince was telling Ethan.
He’s such a sleazy creep.
I was rethinking my decision not to tell Ethan about him. Ethan was driving toward me so I acted like I punched something into my phone before I got on the cart.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes.” I smiled. He didn’t believe me, I could tell.

We went back to his place and I finished getting my stuff packed. He was in the kitchen making something in the blender. He poured it into two cups and handed me one. I could tell it had fruit in it so I tasted it. It was really good. Ethan didn’t say anything, something was wrong.

“This is really good, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said as he rinsed out the blender container.

“Is something wrong, Ethan?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, Gia. It’s just something Vince said. I’ll be fine in a minute.” He drank his fruit smoothie.

“What did he say, Ethan?” I was nervous.

“It doesn’t matter, Gia. Sometimes I just don’t know how to take him, that’s all.” He seemed over it and I guessed it wasn’t about me since he didn’t tell me about it.