Out of Exile (3 page)

When he returned to the stables it was nearly noon and the moving van was gone. He unsaddled Thunder and brushed her down, then headed for the house.

He found Lilly and Clara in the living room surrounded by boxes, crates and the rest of the worldly possessions owned by Clara.

“Did everything arrive all right?” he asked.

Clara smiled. “Oh, yes. They did a fine job. I don't believe a single thing got broken or scuffed.” Her smile faded and she gazed at Matthew with embarrassment. “I suppose Lilly told you that I'm an old fool and have managed to lose almost everything.”

Instantly Lilly put her arm around the old woman. “You are not an old fool. You were simply vulnerable, and unsavory, slick people took advantage of you.”

“What's done is done,” Matthew said. “Now what we need to decide is where you'll be the happiest here.”

Clara's hazel eyes peered at him curiously. “What do you mean? I just assumed I'd stay in the room upstairs.”

“If you'd prefer, we could put you in one of the cottages. That way you could have all your personal
things around you and your own space. It would be like having your own little home.”

It was a perfect setup. She could live rent-free in one of the cottages, and Matthew wouldn't have to share his home with her. He could remain alone, which is just how he liked it.

Clara's face lit up. “Oh, but that would be wonderful,” she exclaimed and clapped her chubby hands together. “And of course I could pay you rent. I do get a little social security money each month.”

“That isn't necessary,” Matthew replied. “You're family and family doesn't pay rent.” The words stuck in his throat despite the fact that Clara beamed him another broad smile.

“I'd like to see the cottage before we move her in there,” Lilly said as she dropped her arm from Clara's shoulder.

“Fine. I can show it to you now,” he said.

“While you two do that, I'll just go finish up lunch and we'll eat when you get back,” Clara said. Before Matthew or Lilly could say anything else, Clara bustled from the room.

“Shall we go?” Matthew asked.

Lilly nodded and together they left the house.

“The guest cottages are over there.” He pointed to a row of neat little bungalows in the near distance. “But I'm going to put her in one of the worker cottages around back.”

He cast Lilly a sideways glance. “Are you afraid that I intend to put her in a shanty?”

Her smile held a touch of guilt. “Not intention
ally, but sometimes men aren't picky enough when it comes to living spaces.” Her small smile fell aside. “I just want her to be happy and comfortable. I feel guilty that I didn't know what was going on in her life, didn't realize she was getting into such trouble.”

“What exactly did happen?” Matthew asked as they rounded the side of the main house.

The bungalows where several workers lived came into view. Although not as charming as the guest cottages, they were neatly painted and tidy.

“She met some man who talked her into investing everything she had in some bogus stock. He was obviously a con artist and she didn't even question his motives. He talked her into mortgaging her house and maxing out her credit cards. When I found out what had happened, we made a police report, but of course the man had taken all her cash and disappeared. He has yet to be found.”

Matthew gestured her toward the third bungalow and they stepped up on the tiny front porch. “See? No shanty.”

She laughed, the sound deep-throated and intensely pleasant. “Sorry for being skeptical, but as I said before, my main goal is to see Aunt Clara happy and comfortable. Can we go inside?”

He nodded and she turned the doorknob, and they stepped into the cottage. It was obvious she was quite devoted to Clara. Matthew had never heard her talk about her own parents.

The story he'd heard from his father years ago was that Clara had adopted some damn fool teenage
kid whose parents had gotten themselves killed in a car accident. Adam had not been just skeptical about his sister's mental judgment, but contemptuous about the whole arrangement. He had not been able to understand why anyone would consciously make the choice to take in a teenager.

“It's small, but quite charming,” Lilly said as her gaze swept around the small living room with its utilitarian kitchenette. The furnishings were plain—a sand-colored sofa and chair and a dinette table.

She opened a door to expose a small bathroom. The door next to it opened to the bedroom. The bedroom held a chest of drawers and a double bed. She went around the bed to the window, and Matthew followed her into the room.

“Not much of a view,” she murmured more to herself than to him.

“But the price is right.”

She twirled around to face him with one of her smiles that seemed to light up the room. “Yes, the price is definitely right, and I know she'll be happy here.” She walked back to him and took his hand in hers. “Thank you, Matthew, for thinking about this. This is the best of both worlds. She'll have her privacy, the dignity of living alone and yet will have you close enough should she need help. It was wonderfully thoughtful of you.”

It hadn't been thoughtful at all. A wave of guilt swept through Matthew at her words. It had been strictly a selfish gesture. He'd thought of putting Clara here simply for his own comfort, so he
wouldn't have to put up with her day in and day out.

But he couldn't admit that to Lilly, not with the warmth of her hand around his, not with the scent of her enveloping him sweetly. He couldn't very well admit that he didn't particularly like the woman she so obviously loved.

He pulled his hand from hers, uncomfortable at the touch, by her very nearness and by the engaging light in her blue eyes. “We'd better get inside for lunch.”

“When can we get her moved in here?” Lilly asked as they started back to the main house. “I'd like to see her all settled in before I leave here.”

“As far as I'm concerned we can move her things in tomorrow afternoon and get her settled in then. The only thing I noticed that needs to be done is that the whole place could use a new coat of paint inside. I can get a couple of men on that immediately.”

They reached the front of the house and he spied Eddie and Ned approaching. “As a matter of fact, I'll take care of it right now,” he said, and gestured the men toward them.

“We were just looking for you, boss,” Eddie said. “We finished in the stables and wondered what you want us to do now.”

“Lilly, this is Eddie Creighton and Ned Sayville. They're going to be working here at the ranch. I just hired them on this morning,” Matthew explained.

“Hi, it's nice to meet you both,” she said, then pointed to a gold chain and charm that hung around
Ned's thick neck. “What a lovely necklace.” The charm was a thick gold cross with twisted vines wrapped around it.

Ned reached up and touched the charm. “Thank you, ma'am. My mama bought it for me years ago.”

Eddie frowned. “All my mama ever buys me is underwear two sizes too small.”

They laughed, then Matthew told them about moving Clara into bungalow three. He told them where the paint was stored and what needed to be done.

“And could we move out the chair that's in there so Aunt Clara can put her rocking chair in its place?” Lilly asked.

Matthew nodded. “Move the chair into bungalow two.”

The two men took off. “They seem nice,” Lilly said.

“They're all right,” Matthew replied as they entered the house. “Neither of them has much ranch experience, but both seemed eager to learn and promised to be hard workers.”

“What about Jacob? Did he show up this morning?”

“At dawn. I sent him out to the old barn that we're getting ready to renovate. The plans are to turn it into sort of a community building. Mark has been working on getting it cleaned up.”

Abby raised one of her dark eyebrows. “Lots of hiring and renovating going on for something you aren't sure is permanent,” she observed.

“Ah, there you are and just in time,” Clara
greeted them as they walked into the kitchen. “I've just put it all on the table.”

“You didn't have to do this,” Matthew protested as they took their places at the table. “You aren't responsible for the meals around here.”

“But I wanted to,” Clara exclaimed. She leaned over and patted Matthew on the shoulder. “If I can't do for my family, then what good am I?”

Matthew said nothing. If she'd wanted to do for her family, she should have done something years ago. She should have done something to save him and his brothers and sister from their father.

Anything she did for them now was too little, too late. And for that he could never forgive her.

T
he afternoon stretched out before Lilly. Matthew disappeared immediately after lunch, telling them he had chores to attend to. Lilly thought about tagging along as she had when he'd done his chores on those long-ago summer days. However, something about his closed-off expression forbade her to follow him.

“I just knew things would be fine here,” Aunt Clara said as the two women cleared the lunch dishes from the table. “And it's wonderful I'm going to have my own little place.”

“And it's a nice little cottage,” Lilly assured her. “Small, but quite nice.”

“Small is fine, with it just being me.” She filled the sink with soapy water to wash the few dishes they had used. “When you come to visit, you can either sleep on my sofa in the cottage or stay here. And you will visit frequently, won't you?”

Lilly smiled assuredly. “Of course. When I get back to work, I'll have Christmas and spring vacations and all summer long to visit you.”

Aunt Clara nodded in satisfaction and plunged the glassware into the sink water. “Of course, what would really be nice is if you'd move here to Inferno. They have schools here, and I'm sure they would be thrilled to get a skilled and caring counselor like you.”

Lilly laughed. “One step at a time, Aunt Clara. At the moment my main concern is seeing you settled in.”

Aunt Clara frowned and handed Lilly a soapy glass to rinse and dry. “I can't believe I let that young man talk me into mortgaging my home and giving him all my money. He seemed like such a nice young man, too.” She pulled her hands from the soapy water, grabbed a towel and sank down at the table.

“I guess the saying is true, there's no fool like an old fool.” She closed her eyes and sat perfectly silent for a moment.

“Aunt Clara, are you all right?” Lilly dried her hands and knelt down next to the older woman, who suddenly appeared deathly pale.

“Fine, fine. I just got a little dizzy spell.” She looked at Lilly in bewilderment. “Now what were we talking about?”

“We were talking about the fact that I think we need to get you in for a checkup with a doctor,” Lilly said, worry fluttering through her.

“Nonsense,” Aunt Clara exclaimed and stood.

“I'm fit as a fiddle, I just sometimes move a little too fast or something.”

The two women returned to the sink, where they washed and dried the dishes and chattered about inconsequential things.

When they had finished putting the dishes away, Lilly asked if Clara would like to take a walk with her.

Clara declined, stating that perhaps she would take a little nap so she'd be rested for the family meeting that night. “It will be so nice to see everyone this evening. Did you know Mark has a nine-year-old stepson, and Luke is the stepfather to a precious little girl and boy. So many new family members, such joy. You are coming to the meeting?”

“Oh, I don't know,” Lilly said hesitantly. “I might pop my head in to say hello to everyone, but I don't think it's a good idea….”

“Nonsense,” Clara said. She reached up and placed her hands on Lilly's cheeks. It was a gesture as familiar to Lilly as her own heartbeat. “Legally your last name might be Winstead, but in your heart, and in my heart, you're a Delaney through and through. And you should be at that family meeting.”

Lilly smiled and pulled Clara's hands from her cheeks. She planted a kiss in each hand, then closed Clara's fingers as if to capture the kisses. “We'll see and now I think I'll take a little walk. Sure you won't join me?”

“Not me, but enjoy the sunshine.”

Sunshine. There was plenty of that in Inferno, Ar
izona, Lilly thought as she stepped out the front door a few minutes later.

Although it was October, the sunshine was bright and warm and the temperature was in the eighties. Lilly had no specific destination or direction in mind, but she set off walking in the direction of the old barn Matthew had mentioned they were renovating.

Lilly and Matthew had spent lots of time in that barn years ago. Back then the barn had been in use, the loft filled with bales of hay, the lower level storage for machinery and grain.

The two teenagers would crawl up in the loft, make themselves comfortable among the hay, and talk. Well, actually, Lilly would do most of the talking.

Thinking back, it was funny to realize that she'd never shared with him the circumstances of his aunt “adopting” her, and he'd never spoken about his family. It was as if they'd both silently agreed that discussing parents or personal history was off-limits.

Instead they spoke of school and favorite subjects, they discussed and compared ranch life and city life. They shared dreams and talked about what they saw for themselves in the future. But always Lilly sensed turbulent emotions just beneath his surface, simmering passions that he kept tightly reined.

Brush tickled her ankles as she walked, and the heat on her shoulders was pleasant. Although much of the Delaney ranch was desert-like, there was a beauty in the landscape that surrounded her.

To the distant right of where she walked, she
could see the green grass and tall trees she knew were nourished by a nearby creek. She and Matthew had waded in the creek numerous times. She could still remember how he'd looked with his jeans rolled up to expose his athletic calves and his shirtless chest so broad and tanned.

She shook her head to dispel the images from the past. Oh, that boy had stirred frightening, wonderful yearnings inside her teenage heart. And it unsettled her more than a little that the adult Matthew seemed to be stirring the same kinds of feelings in an adult Lilliana Winstead.

The old barn rose up in the distance. Weathered gray and minus the doors, the place certainly wasn't the one from her memory. Just as Matthew wasn't the young boy of my memories, she reminded herself.

As she walked closer, she saw Mark, Matthew's brother, and Jacob Tilley carrying out a load of old lumber and dumping it into the bed of a pickup.

“Lilly.” Mark swept his hat off his head and approached her with a friendly smile. “Matthew told me this morning that you and Aunt Clara had come to visit.”

“Yes, I'm visiting, but Aunt Clara is planning on staying,” she replied. “And I understand congratulations are in order for you. Not only a new wife and stepson, but also a baby on the way. Congratulations, Mark.”

His likable features radiated with the brightness of his smile. “Yeah, pretty amazing. I didn't think
any of us would ever marry or have families, and suddenly we're all the marrying sort.”

“Except Matthew,” she said.

His smile turned rueful. “Yeah, except Matthew. Matthew doesn't date…he dictates.” Shadows fell into Mark's eyes, as if thoughts of his older brother saddened him. “I think maybe Matthew feels safest alone.”

Lilly desperately wanted to ask more questions, to explore what Mark meant by his words, but at that moment Jacob joined them. He asked Mark about what to do with additional items in the barn.

“I hate to cut our reunion short, but we've got a load of lumber arriving first thing in the morning and need to get the rest of this work done,” Mark said.

“Please, don't let me interrupt you,” Lilly exclaimed. “I was just doing a little walking to stretch my legs.”

“You'll be at the family meeting tonight?”

Lilly shrugged. “Probably.”

“Nice seeing you again,” Jacob said as he and Mark headed back to the barn. Lilly watched until the two men had disappeared into the barn, then turned and headed toward the house.

Matthew feels safest alone.

An interesting statement, and she wondered exactly what Mark had meant by his words about his brother.

Before going back to the house, Lilly stopped in at cottage three to see how the painting was coming
along. She found Ned and Eddie at work in the living room. They both offered her friendly smiles.

“We'll have this place knocked out and looking just fine for your aunt by this evening,” Ned said, a friendly smile curving his thin lips upward.

“We already gave the bedroom a nice new coat,” Eddie added.

“I appreciate it,” she replied. “It all looks very nice. Do you two stay here on the ranch?” she asked.

“Not me,” Ned said. “I rent a small house in town. I like to separate my work life from my private life.”

“And I rent an old shed that's been renovated into a little cabin at the Watson ranch down the road a piece,” Eddie explained.

Realizing she was keeping them away from their work, she murmured a goodbye then went back to the main house. Once there, she went into the kitchen, poured herself a glass of iced tea, then returned to the porch, where the chairs were in the shade.

Matthew feels safest alone.

Again Mark's words played around and around in Lilly's head. Oddly enough, she understood. Oh, she didn't understand what emotional barriers might be in play inside Matthew. But she certainly understood the choice to live a life alone to keep oneself emotionally intact. Wasn't that exactly what she had done?

Sure, she'd had relationships with men in the past, but when they got too close, when she feared be
coming vulnerable, she walked away. She would never put herself in a position again where somebody important in her life would walk away from her.

Safer to be alone. Yes, she knew all about that. What she didn't know was what had caused Matthew to make the same decision about himself.

 

From the master bedroom downstairs in the back of the house, Matthew heard his brothers and sister and in-laws arriving for the family meeting.

The sounds of their laughter, the easiness that had grown between them over the past couple of months emphasized an isolation Matthew hadn't realized he felt until this moment.

He stared at his reflection in the dresser mirror, a deep frown creasing his forehead as the laughter and merriment seeped in through his closed bedroom door.

Of course they had found a new camaraderie, because they were all newlyweds, full of the bliss of family life. And that was fine for them, but it was certainly a club he didn't intend to join.

For just a moment, as he looked at himself, he thought he saw his father's visage glaring back at him. He shook his head and forced his lips into a smile, an expression his father had rarely worn. The ghost image disappeared, and with a grunt of satisfaction Matthew left the bedroom.

The family was gathered in the living room, having successfully maneuvered the obstacle course just
inside the room of Aunt Clara's boxes and belongings.

Luke and his wife, Abby, sat on the sofa; Johnna and her husband, Jerrod, were next to them. Mark and April sat on the love seat, and Lilly and Clara were in wing chairs.

Lilly looked as pretty as a picture against the wine-colored high-backed chair. She'd done something different to her hair. It didn't hang loose but rather was twisted in some sort of bun at her nape, exposing the long, graceful curve of her neck.

She wore a pale-pink cotton dress, short enough to expose bare legs and white sandals that displayed toenails painted a feminine pink.

She smiled at him as he entered, and the smile held the heat of a warm, summer day. Tension filled him in response. He didn't want to find her attractive, didn't want to feel the magnetic pull of desire for her.

The group fell silent as Matthew walked to stand in front of the fireplace facing them all. “Where are the children?” he asked, referring to Mark and Johnna's son, Brian, and Luke and Abby's son, Jason, and daughter, Jessica.

“Brian took them outside to play,” Mark said.

“And doll babies they are, all three of them,” Clara beamed. “And another baby on the way.” She smiled at April, who grinned back and touched the palm of her hand to her stomach. “So much happiness in this family.”

Matthew frowned. “Let's get started here,” he
said. “I called this meeting because we have business to attend to.”

“Well, we know you didn't call it because you just wanted to see and visit with us all,” Johnna said dryly.

“Johnna, don't start,” Mark said softly.

“I'm not starting anything,” Johnna protested.

“Is there anything anyone would like to bring up before I discuss the reason I called the meeting?” Matthew ignored his sister, who always seemed to take great pleasure in needling him.

“I'd like to discuss something,” April said. She stood, a pretty blonde with green eyes, who had captured Mark's heart when she'd come here seven months ago to work as a social director. “I'd like to plan a Halloween party.”

“But we don't have any guests for Halloween. We're still dark that night,” Matthew said. “Guests don't start arriving again until November 2.”

“I don't want the party to be for guests, but rather for the workers.” She offered him a tentative smile. “I'd like to do a real costume party, with candy for the kids and games and all kinds of fun. I think it would be really good for morale.”

“We aren't here to boost morale. We're here to run a dude ranch,” he replied, sounding stiff and unyielding to his own ears.

“Personally, I think it's a wonderful idea,” Johnna exclaimed. “Honestly, Matthew, why don't you loosen up a little. Things have been rough around here lately, and happy workers make productive workers.”

Several of the others voiced their agreement and enthusiasm for such a party. “Fine,” he finally capitulated. “If you all want to have a party, then have it. You deal with it, I've got plenty of other things to deal with around here.”

“So what did you want to discuss?” Mark asked.

“I got a call the other day from Dale Maxwell, president of Maxwell Redevelopment, a company based in Phoenix. He made us an offer to buy this place once the terms of the will are met and we take official ownership.”

Mark leaned forward. “I hope you told him to go to hell.”