Out of Her League (39 page)

For a moment Joe experienced a flash of camaraderie for the kid. He strode through the mess, grabbed the pillow out of Toni
’
s hand and stepped between the two of them.

“
What is going on here?
”

Toni lunged for the pillow. Joe caught her around the waist and held he
r back. Adam peeked from be
tween his arms, saw
that she was restrained and low
ered his defenses.

“
Well?
”
Joe said.
“
I
’
m waiting. What started this?
”

Both Toni and Adam clammed up. The rest of the kids were too far gone to be stopped by the mere presence of a coach—even if it was Joe.

He was more concerned with his daughter and the
boyfriend. There was trouble in paradise, and he wanted to know why.

“
Toni?
”

“
Nothing, Dad. It
’
s just kids, you know?
”

He did, but somehow he didn
’
t think that was what this was about.
“
Adam?
”

The kid shrugged and wouldn
’
t look at him. Joe could tell they were lying when they wouldn
’
t look him in the face. He hated that, but then again, if a kid could lie and look him in the face, that would be a whole lot worse. Before Joe could pursue the line of questioning, a door opened in the middle of the hall and a whirlwind swept out.

“
Knock that off!
”
Evie yanked a pillow from one kid
’
s hand.
“
Cut that out!
”
She caught another in mid-flight.
“
I want you all back in your rooms on the double. I
’
m going to count to ten, and whoever is still in this hallway is going to find his or her butt on the bench tomorrow.
”

The hallway cleared before she hit five, leaving Joe alone with the subject of each of his dreams and every one of his problems.

Evie nodded and made as if to slip back into her room. Joe dropped the pillows and crossed the hall before she could get away.

He cupped his palm around the soft skin of her upper arm. His body went hot and hard at her sharp intake of breath. She went very still, as if she wanted to collapse into his arms as much as she wanted to tear free of them.

“
Hey,
”
he whispered, uncertain what to say or do to keep her near for a single moment longer.

Her hair was damp, and she smelled like hotel shampoo—flowers beneath
the evergreens—differ
ent than usual, but no less enticing. She was still Evie, and he wanted her—for always.

“
I
’
ve missed you.
”

She sighed, and her arm slid along his hand. Flesh upon flesh, ice to his heat. They both shuddered in reaction.

“
Oh, Joe, don
’
t.
”
Her voice sounded near to tears—kind of the way he felt.

“
Stay for just a minute,
”
he begged.

“
I need to call the desk. Get a vacuum up here. Grab a few bad boys and make them clean up their mess.
”

“
That can wait a few minutes. The mess won
’
t walk away.
”

She gave a snort of laughter that held no humor at all.
“
It never does.
”

Joe glanced first up, then down, the long hallway. The kids had all disappeared, no doubt hoping if they hid long enough, the storm would blow over them. Someone
’
s television played loud enough for Joe to hear high-pitched cartoon voices sounding much too happy-happy for this world. Joe tuned that out, along with the urge to go rap on the door and make whoever it was turn the TV down.

For the moment he and Evie were alone, and he wasn
’
t walking away from her until they had this out.

“
I
’
ve been thinking about us.
”

“
There is no us. There can
’
t be.
”

“
You won
’
t let there be. Hear me out.
”

She shook her head, then backed away from him until her shoulders came up against the wall. He followed, placing one hand on each side of her head. She glanced up, startled, and he couldn
’t help him
self. He kissed her.

Her mouth was open, no doubt to give him a piece of her mind. Instead she gave him access, and he took full advantage—delving within, tasting her, teasing her, tempting her.

Her hands came up, and he tensed, afraid she would push him aw
ay. For a long, frightening sec
ond she hesitated, then with a sigh that was both sob and surrender she laced her hands behind his neck, and she kissed him back.

Suddenly what
had been so damn complicated be
came really quite simple.

He loved her.

He wanted he
r, and he needed her, and he ad
mired her, and he liked her. But most of all—he loved her. How could he ever have been uncertain? Maybe because he
’
d never felt something quite so wonderful, and so frightening, at the same time. Love was exactly the way Toni had described. Only the first moment he
’
d held Toni in his arms could compare—that utter joy and total terror that made your heart beat so fast you thought you might die right then and there.

“
I love you, babe,
”
he murmured against her lips.

“
Don
’
t call me
‘
babe,
’”
she said, and pulled her mouth from his.

Lost in the novelt
y of his feelings and the famil
iarity of her, he took the movement and made it magic, kissing her
jaw, her neck, her ear, her eye
lids. His lips came away damp, tasting of salt, and he opened his eyes to stare down at her, bemused.

She leaned against the wall, her face sheet-white and her lips passion-red. Tears streaked her cheeks and broke his heart.

He lifted his hand and traced a track with his thumb.
“
What
’
s the matter?
”
he whispered.
“
I love you.
”

She opened her eyes, and hers were so sad that his own eyes stung.
“
I love you, too, but it doesn
’
t
change
anything.
”

“
What are you ta
lking about? Love changes ev
erything. I
’
ve never loved anyone like this before.
”

“
I have, and it didn
’
t matter. Love wasn
’
t enough.
”

“
My love will be enough. Marry me, Evie. It won
’
t be like before, I promise.
” He hesitated, won
dering if he would embarrass her by giving voice to the suspicion he
’
d had for a while now.
“
Are all these jobs because you need money?
”

She stiffened.
“
None of your business.
”

“
It
’
s nothing to be embarrassed about, babe.
”
She kicked him in the shins.
“
Sorry— Evie. You
’
ve taken care of yourself and the kids all alone. Let me in. Let me help. If you marry me, you
’
ll never have to work again.
”

She made a sound of exasperation deep in her throat.
“
You don
’
t understand. I want to work. I love my job. Why don
’
t you quit
your
job?
”

“
Me?
”
He gave a short laugh.
“
Why? I
’
ve been looking forward to this job half my life.
”

“
Me, too. And I
’
m so close to what I
’
ve always wanted, I can taste it on my tongue every morning and every night.
”

“
But you won
’
t
need
to work. I
’
ve got tons of money.
”

“
It
’
s not about money. It
’
s about me. Once upon a time I was alone with three kids and no way to take care of us. I dragged myself and them out of that mess by the skin of my teeth. But I did it.
”

“
And if you marry me you
’
ll never have to worry about going through that again.
”

“
But I will. I
’
ll always worry about that. I need to be what I made myself. What I
’
ve dreamed of being. And if you make me into something I was once, and hated, I
’
ll hate you for it. Just like you
’
ll hate me if I take away your dream.
”

“
So what are you saying?
”

“
I can
’
t marry you. I can
’
t have any more kids. I just can
’
t. I have nightmares about when the twins were babies. I still wake up sweating and shaking, thinking they
’
ve been crying for hours while I was passed out from sleep deprivation. Honestly, I can
’
t bear it again.
”

“
You make it sound like torture.
”

“
It was. I remember once when Ray managed to get home and found me crying along with the two
of them. He asked me if I loved them, and you know what I said?
”

He shook his head.

“
I said no.
”
She gave a choked sob.
“
Right then I did not love them. I don
’
t know why everyone always thinks a moth
er automatically loves her chil
dren as soon as they
’
re born. I
’
m not saying they don
’
t grow on you, but when you
’
re all alone, and the world caves in, and you
’
ve got too many kids—love is the farthest thing from your mind.
”

“
The world isn
’
t going to cave in on you, Evie. I
’
ll be there.
”

“
I
’
ve heard that before, and words are cheap.
”

“
You
’
re saying you love me, but you don
’
t trust me. You don
’
t believe I
’
ve changed. You don
’
t think I
’
m going to stick around when times get tough?
”

“
I
’
m not saying anything except no, I won
’
t marry you.
”
She slipped into her room, but before the door shut he heard her whisper,
“
Even though I love you.
”

Joe stood there with his forehead against her door and pondered knocking it down. But what more could he tell her? He thought he heard another door click shut nearby,
but when he listened more care
fully all he heard
was silence. Even the loud tele
vision had been turned down to a dull roar.

So he went to his room, and when Toni asked what was wrong, Joe didn
’
t answer, because he didn
’
t know how to respond. Then he took a shower and let the hot water pound on his head until it ran
cold. But he still couldn
’
t figure out how falling in love had become a bad thing.