Out of The Box Awakening (40 page)

We go back to Charlie Trotter’s for dinner. This time, it’s just Ash and me. The manager comes out to greet us.

“Mr. Harper! Ms Olivia—so nice to see you again! Follow me please, your table is ready.” He takes us to a fabulous table, secluded and private. We have yet another wonderful dinner here. Ash has had the chef prepare a gall-bladderless friendly meal for me, and it’s over the top delicious! No wine for me, but that’s okay. As we head home, I start to feel a bit melancholy. Tomorrow I will be single. I’ll be a divorced woman. Divorced from a man I’ve been married to for thirty years which is the majority of my adult life. I think back over good times we had, the birth of my kids, little league games, holidays, vacations, birthdays, anniversaries and I lose it. I’m looking out the window hoping Ash doesn’t see me in tears. No such luck.

“Liv, honey, it’s gonna be all right. I promise. I know this is tough. But just know that I am here for you and know that I love you more than life itself. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, and I won’t pretend to, but I can tell you this. You’re loved by so many people. You just radiate love and compassion. You’re strong, you’re smart, and above all, you’re mine. Forever.”

I start to cry harder. “Ash, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I don’t have feelings for Alan anymore, really. I just think the finality of it all has just caught up with me and you know how I don’t process change well. I’ve been putting this day off, thinking it won’t come, but it has. I don’t doubt your love at all and your love is what’s been getting me through my life for the past few months. I can’t even begin to tell you how lucky I feel. I’m without a doubt, the luckiest woman in the world!”

Ash has me a wonderful hot bath when we get home and he’s put candles all around the bathroom. “Liv, just hop in and enjoy!”

“You coming in with me?” I ask.

“Oh, after a bit, but for now, you just sit back and relax! You need to unwind. I’ll be in to unwind you further in a bit…count on it!” I lie back in the tub and get lost in it.

After about thirty minutes, Ash comes into the bathroom and takes off his clothes. “Ready for some company?” he asks.

My eyes light up as he gets in behind me. “Only if it’s you!”

“Liv, it’s definitely me.” We have an amazing bath. He gently rubs bath wash over my whole body. It’s heaven. “Liv?”

“Yes?”

“You have the most amazing body. I know I tell you that all the time, but you do. I love absolutely everything about you. Do you even have any faults? Because I don’t think you do. And tomorrow night, just think, you’ll be totally mine, do you even realize that? Even though I won’t be here, you’ll be divorced and free. Free to be with me. Forever. Honey, I can’t wait!”

“Ash?”

“Yes?”

“Make love to me please. I need you so bad right now!”

“Your wish is my command. Let’s get you out of the tub and into my arms!”

We make love and I realize that after tonight, I will be divorced. Single and ready for the next chapter in my life. After we make love, Ash turns me on my side and lies with his front to my back. It’s one of my favorite ways to feel him.

“Liv?”

“Yes?”

“Tomorrow, you’ll be legal. And we can go on to the next phase. Are you ready, honey? Because I’m ready to take you there with me!”

“Ash, I’ve been ready. Longer than you know.”

“Night-night, Liv! You need to get some sleep and I’ve got to leave early. Big day for you tomorrow. I love you!”

“And I love you back, Ash Harper. Definitely more than you love me!”

“Liv?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t think so!”

I find that I can’t sleep well. I toss and turn nonstop. Even though Ash has me wrapped in his arms, I am awake with anticipation. Anxiety, anxiousness, doubt, fears, you name it, I’ve got the feelings. I just hope to God I can hold it together and not get emotional. I’m pretty sure Alan will have Kelly there. I unfortunately won’t have Ash there for backup, so I need to be extra strong. I try to go to sleep, but can’t. I keep looking at the clock and I watch as the hours tick away.

At 5:30, I’m still wide-awake. Ash stirs and asks me. “Sleep good, hon?”

I lie. “Like a baby.”

“I’ll go get coffee ready. I’ve got to leave for the airport soon, but we can have coffee together.

“Sounds good honey! I’ll be in shortly.”

I’m really nervous for some reason. I lay my clothes out. I’ve decided on a black pants suit, with a red silk blouse. Pretty matronly looking, but that’s okay. Okay. I’m going with it. I wear my pendant from Ash. It feels so good against my chest. I go into the kitchen, and he’s got coffee ready. He’s sitting at the table, sexy as hell, messed up hair and those beautiful, God so beautiful feet! I don’t know why I always zone in on his feet. They have the perfect arches and are to die for sexy. Just like every other part of him.

“Mornin’, Sunshine! Ready for your independence day?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I say. He looks up at me over the top of his glasses “You sound scared.”

“Honestly, Ash I am.”

“Well, hon, don’t be. You’ll be fine! Keep the faith!” I go to get my coffee, and there is a beautiful sunflower arrangement over by the coffee maker. “Ash, what’s this?”

“It’s just something for you. You’re still my Sunshine and I want you to know that even though I can’t be here today, I’m with you.” I start to cry. “Awww come on, don’t cry honey, please. Come on. Be strong. You CAN do this!”

My phone starts going off with text messages. “Better check those!” he says. I look at my phone.

First is a text from Lainey. “Mom, I’m thinking of you. You’ll do great! Just pretend that I’m there with you. I love you too much! Call, don’t text when it’s over. I’ll need to hear your voice! You are the most absolutely most amazing mother any daughter could ask for! Love you!”

Immediately, there’s another text. It’s from Bradley. “Mom, kick ass today! It’s almost over! Independence Day! Call me when it’s final!”

Another text. “Olivia, just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you today. If you want to talk, just call me. Love ya!” It’s from Emily. Back to back to back texts of encouragement.

Dalton’s is next. “Mom, big day today. I know you’re prob f’ng freaking out but you can do it! Call me after! I’ll be waiting to hear from you! Muahhh!”

My phone rings. The Maroon Five ringtone. It’s Todd.

“Olivia?”

“Yeah?”

“Big day, huh?”

“Yeah, something like that!”

“Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinkin of you. Be strong! Love ya, girl!”

“Thanks so much! I appreciate it! I’ll let you know how it goes. Ash will be out of town, so I may need company. Maybe you and Kyra can come over tonight, that is if you aren’t curled up in a puddle of love!”

“Well, she’s got a major test, so the only lovin she’s gonna be doing is with a text book and her lips will be licking a Starbucks coffee cup and not me, unfortunately. I’m down to visit if you’re up for it. Call me when it’s over. Promise?”

“I promise! Thanks for calling, means so much!”

Tommy sends a text. “Olivia, kick ASS today! Thinking of you. Celebration time is just around the corner! Love!”

“See, you’ve got so many people in your corner. It’s gonna be okay, Liv. Strength in numbers!”

The house phone rings. Ash answers. “Hello? Oh hey Ellen. Yeah, we’re just having coffee. Yeah, I’m headed out to North Carolina. Yeah, she goes to court today. It will be final. Yeah, she’s a bundle of nerves. Yeah, here she is.” He gives me the phone.

“Olivia?”

“Hi, Ellen.”

“Look, I know you’re trying to get ready and all. Just wanted to give you my support. I’ll be thinking of you today. If you want to talk, or grab a drink tonight, I’m here for you. I know big brother is out of town. Love you dear!”

“Thanks so much Ellen. I really appreciate you calling. I’ll be in touch!”

Ash and I go into get dressed. He’s in a suit, sexy as hell. “God! You look amazing!” I tell him.

“And you? What about you pretty lady? How am I gonna get through this week without you? You look pretty amazing too, soon to be mine!” I walk him out to his car. I could cry now if  I really thought about it. I’m scared to death and I don’t want Ash to leave, but I know he’s got to.

He senses my apprehension. “Liv, honey it’s only for a week. I promise, when I get back, I’ll put everything on the back burner and I’ll devote every waking minute to you.”

“Ash, I understand, really. I’ll miss the hell out of you and I’ll text you when it’s over.”

“No, Liv, no texts. Call me. I want to hear your voice. I want you to tell me it’s over, that the divorce is final and I want to hear you tell me that you’re finally mine!”

“Ash, I’ve been yours, you know that!”

“But I want you to tell me that you are free, legally free to be mine! Promise?”

“I promise, Ash! You’ll be the first call I make.”

“I’d better be!”

After he leaves, I’m a bundle of nerves waiting for Abby to pick me up. I walk around the house and find that if I think about it enough, I could just hyperventilate. I keep breathing. Breathe, Olivia, breathe. I put tissues in my purse, just in case. I’m sure I will be a bawling mess after this is over. I don’t know why, but I know myself enough to know that I’ll probably have a minor meltdown. God! I wish Lainey were here with me. My rock, my best friend in the whole wide world.

Reba comes in. “So, Miss Olivia, big day today, and don’t you just look beautiful! I want you to know that I’ll be thinking good thoughts!”

“Thank you so much Reba! That means so much!”

She takes me into her hefty arms and gives me a reassuring hug. “Honey, you’re gonna do just fine. The apple cart is tipped your way today. I’ll be thinking of you!” She gives me a kiss and goes about her work.

Abby finally arrives. I’m ready. I can do this! She pulls up in the driveway and knocks on the door. Reluctantly I go to it and open. “You ready?”

“Yeah, about as ready I’ll ever be.”

“Well, let’s go get this over with!” I get in the car. My hands are clammy. My nerves are about to explode. “It’s going to be all right kiddo! We’re 99 percent there.”

We speed off in her BMW. I’m just glad that I don’t have to drive myself. We arrive at the courthouse. She parks the car and we walk into the courthouse. As we go through security they check my purse and wave a wand over me. It’s such a formality, but necessary, I guess. After all, someone could have a gun I guess. After we get through security, we go up the elevator to the courtroom.

Abby ushers me in. “Olivia, remember this is just a formality. The judge knows that both parties have agreed to all the terms. It’s just a matter of him giving his final blessing. There will be nothing unexpected. Just formalities, understand?”

I look her in the eye. “Yes I understand.” We go into the courtroom. Alan and Kelly, along with Alan’s attorney are already there. Alan looks over at me.

Abby, my little bulldog nudges me slightly. “Don’t look at him Olivia. Just look at the judge. Keep your eyes over here kiddo. You got it?”

“Yes. I understand.”

My heart is beating really fast. This is it. My thirty-year marriage is about to be declared over. I take a deep breath. I think about my kids. I think about Ash. They’re all on my side. I think about Todd and his F-bombs, which makes me smile. To calm my nerves, I imagine that Todd is sitting here beside me saying, “This is about to be fucking over! Fucking Ass fucking over!” That’s exactly what he’d say!

The judge reviews the pleadings, ask questions of the attorneys, and it’s all a blur. The only thing I hear is his gavel banging down, declaring “divorce granted”! Abby helps me to get up out of my chair. I see Alan and Kelly get up. He makes his way over to me.

Abby stops him cold. “Olivia, let’s go!”

We walk to the elevator. Alan and Kelly come out to where we’re waiting. Crap! Just who I didn’t want to see. I am on the verge of a breakdown and I surely don’t want them to see me cry. When the elevator doors open, Abby motions them in. “Thanks, but we’ll wait for the next one.”

Alan looks at me and mouths the words ‘I’m sorry’.

When the next elevator comes, Abby and I get in. “You okay, Olivia?”

“Yeah, I think so. I just need to get the hell out of here.”

“Well, you did just great! It’s all over now. Move forward and have a great life!”

When we get into the lobby of the courthouse, I have a text. It’s from Tommy. “Walk out to the front.” Abby and I walk out front, and there, in the no parking zone at the front of the courthouse is Todd’s shiny Mustang. He and Tommy are standing outside the car, leaning up against the no parking sign with their arms crossed and they’re both wearing blues brothers’ type
sunglasses. They have on faded jeans, leather jackets and biker boots. Tommy’s holding a Mylar balloon in the shape of a butterfly. They’re both smiling so big.

“Wow! Looks like you’ve got a fun ride home!” Abby says.

I smile and tell her, “Yeah, they’re the best! That’s Ash’s son and one of his band mates. Gonna ride with them, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Call me later?”

“Will do. Thanks so much Abby, for all you’ve done. Listen, I couldn’t have done this without you!”

She kisses me on the cheek and heads to her car. “Stay in touch kiddo.” And with that, she’s gone.

I walk over to Tommy and Todd and they both put their arms around me in a group hug.

“You okay, babe?” Todd asks.

I take a deep breath. “I’m fine thanks. Single, free, and fine!”

“And fine you are!” Todd says. People walking by are staring, but I don’t give a flip! They’re probably wondering what I’m doing with these two young guys. Todd opens the passenger door for me. “Madam, your chariot waits!” He helps me in. “Sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I just want get out of here, though please!”

“Your wish is our command, fair lady!”

I get in the car, and they have a box of Kleenex on the dash and give me a pair of sunglasses like theirs. “Here, you have to put these on and look…we’ve got a surprise for you. No sad tears though. If you cry, cry happy tears!” They pop the cork and pour me a glass of champagne. “Cristal, baby! It’s Independence Day! To Olivia!”

“Awww! Y’all are so sweet! Oh, my God! This is perfect. Did Ash ask y’all to do this?”

“Hey, ya’ll give us a little credit here—it was all our idea!” Tommy says.

“So, where are we going?” I ask.

Tommy smiles. “Well, we thought you could spend the day with us. We’re taking you on a picnic!”

“Really? A real picnic?” This sounds wonderful!

“Yep! Reba’s got us all fixed up. We’ve got blankets, coats and gloves in the trunk and we’re gonna find a park. You don’t have to be at work or anything, do you Olivia?”

“No, I’m actually off today and tomorrow.”

Tommy is sitting in the back seat. He’s sitting crossways and has one leg propped up on the seat and the other on the floorboard. He has his guitar with him and he starts to play. “We’re gonna serenade you Olivia.” He‘s tapping his foot to the beat and plays a song about belonging in wildflowers and about being somewhere you’ll feel free. It’s a drive off in the sunset happy song and it makes me smile.

“Great song, Tommy. I love it!”

“Damn straight! It’s Tom Petty, baby!” Todd says. “Just sit back and relax! Need more champagne? Cause we’ve got more where that came from.”

We ride along Lake Shore Drive, making our way out of town. “I thought we’d head to Evanston and hang out up on the university grounds. It’s really pretty and peaceful. Will that work?”

“Anything is fine with me!” I say. It’s a beautiful sunny day. Sunny and very cold, but I’ll take sunny over dreary for my Independence Day! I turn around to face the back seat. Tommy is singing to me with Todd singing harmony. This is amazing! I couldn’t have asked for a better send off from my divorce. God! These guys are incredible! When Tommy and Todd finish singing, I immediately forget that I was supposed to call Ash and my kids. Damn! “Crap! I need to call Ash and my kids and let them know I’m divorced!”

“I’ll send them a group text…no worries…you just sit back and relax Olivia!” Tommy says. I throw my head back, savor my champagne and realize that I am finally divorced! I’m FREE!

We get to Evanston and find the perfect spot. Tommy gets the blankets out of the trunk and spreads them out. He brings us coats and gloves, since it’s really too cold for this. “Look, I know this isn’t the best day for this Olivia, just pretend its springtime.”

Todd gets out the basket Reba made. Inside are sandwiches, fruit and cheese, wine and a red and white checkered table cloth. I get out of the car. Tommy walks over to me, puts a jacket around me, hands me my balloon and says. “Olivia, here, you need to set this off. It’s a testament to your freedom! Come on! We’ll get a picture. Set it off girl! Independence Day!”

“Yeah, Independence Day baby!” Todd says. I stand there very still. I close my eyes and think for a brief moment. Think about my life as it was. I think about my life as it’s about to be. I’m ready to free myself from the hurt and pain. I open my eyes, let the balloon go and it is quickly moved into the sky by the wind. Tommy is jumping up and down. “Whoooo Hooooo! Balls to the wall! Look how fast she’s going. She’s totally outta here! Bye bye butterfly” It sails off into the sky. They both hug me again. This is a hugging kind of day. I’m so blessed to have such amazing people in my life!

We’re all on the blanket. I’m lying down, looking up at the sky smiling. It’s a beautiful day! Todd and Tommy are lying by me looking up at the sky with me. I feel like I did when I used to take my kids to the park. I smile and say “I remember when I used to take the kids to the park. We’d lie on a blanket just like this, look up at the sky and make wishes. Hmmm, I sure miss those days.”

“Well, then let’s all make a wish!” Tommy says. “Come on! You first Olivia!”

I close my eyes take a minute and make my wish.

“You good? All done?” He asks. I nod yes.

“Okay, Todd, you’re next!” Tommy says.

Todd thinks for a while then shakes his head. “Okay. I’m good. Great, actually! Tommy, okay, do yours.”

Tommy rubs his chin and smiles. “Fuck man! I know what you’re wishing, you dirt bag! Quit thinking of Emily, man! This is a family affair!”

We all laugh. We’re all lying on our backs looking up at the sky when Tommy gets serious. “Olivia?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course Tommy!”

“Well, I was just thinking how freakin’ awesome it would be if you and dad were to get married. I mean, just think, you’d be my stepmom! How cool would that be?”

“Awww, Tommy! That’s so sweet! I just got divorced, you know and I’m really not looking to get married again so soon, but thanks.”

“I know, but that would be so uber cool!”

“Uber cool? What the fuck is that?” Todd says.

Tommy replies and spells it out. “Uber. U.b.e r. It’s a word, dumbass. Look it up! It means the best. Over the top. Super!”

Todd cocks his head and laughs “Yeah, I guess that would pretty much be Olivia. Uber …hmmmm, I think I kinda like that word! So, anyone wanna take bets on when the Ashster will pop the question?”

I roll my eyes at him and immediately he sits up and says “Oh my God! Check this out Tommy. I just thought of something…… Dude, do you know that if Olivia married your dad, her initials would be OH? As in oh! So they’d be OH and AH! Ha-ha  Ha-ha! Now that, dude is what I call uber cool!” He looks at me. “Olivia, I’m gonna start calling you guys oh! and ah!”