Out of the Darkness (32 page)

And then, before either of them even realized it, they were in each other's arms, and he kissed her hungrily. He held her tightly, as if she were a lifeline.

"Come with me," he whispered. "At least for a little while. Until we know it's safe."

"I will..."

"The children ... do you need to bring–"

Senna shook her head. "Luc and Lyssa's parents picked them up a few minutes ago. They have a bunker they built some time ago that they're taking the children to. They'll be perfectly safe."

"I have to make a quick stop at the emperor's private study..."

Her face was a question mark. "Why?"

"I have to get his legacy," he told her grimly.

Londo slowly leaned forward and clearly tried to focus on G'Kar. It seemed to the Narn that Londo was seeing less with two eyes than he, G'Kar, was seeing with one.

"Can you see it?" he whispered.

G'Kar made no effort to hide his confusion. "See what?"

"Ah. You have answered my question, thank you."

"Have I?"

"Oh yesss," Londo told him, slurring the words. "Because if you could see it, you would not have to ask what it is you are supposed to be seeing."

"I see."

"Sit, sit. You have become my regular dining companion, you know. I would not want to cheat you of a final meal."

"A final meal?" G'Kar sat opposite him and picked up a piece of fruit. He took a bite of it, wondering if it was going to be poisoned. If it was, it certainly tasted sweet. The juice ran down his face, and he made a token effort to clean it off with his sleeve. "Are you planning to kill me, then?"

"I? I make no plans. They require too much... planning." He took a deep swig of the contents of the bottle and, for some reason, glanced at his shoulder. "I have been giving matters ... much thought. And I have decided ... that all of this ... was about me."

"All of what?" G'Kar was genuinely curious.

"Everything. Babylon 5 ... the Shadow War ... the fate of Centauri Prime... all about me."

"Very egocentric," G'Kar observed.

"That does not make it wrong," Londo pointed out. He seemed to be enjoying the effect that the alcohol was having on him. All his words were slurring, one into another, and it was with difficulty that G'Kar was able to understand what he was saying. "It was in her predictions, you know. The one about the man already dead ... that was easy. That was Sheridan. She also told me that I had to save the eye that does not see. Until an hour ago, I thought that referred to you."

G'Kar was completely lost, but he was not about to admit it. "But now you no longer think that."

"No. I think I misheard her. I think she referred, not to the 'eye' as in orb, but rather I as in 'I, myself'. Because I had all the hints, all the warnings that I needed. It was all there, right in front of me. Morella tried to warn me ... and the techno-mage ... and Vir, Great Maker knows, over and over again... they all tried to make me see. But I did not. I did not see where my path was taking me. In order to avoid the fire that awaits me at the end of my journey, I must first save... myself."

"It sounds like a bit of a tautology," G'Kar pointed out. "To save yourself, you must save yourself? Not very useful advice."

"It is useful if I put it to use ... which is likely also a tautology, yes? But I am emperor, and so have that prerogative." He drank deeply again. Then he leaned forward, and said conspiratorially, "So ... do you see it yet?"

"I suppose I do not," G'Kar admitted.

"Soon enough. Where was I?"

"Saving yourself."

"Ah, yes! Thank you, my good friend, G'Kar." He seemed to find that phrase rather amusing. "My good friend, G'Kar. Who would have thought such unlikely words would be paired, eh? Almost as unlikely as Emperor Mollari. No ... not my good friend. My ... greatest friend," and he clapped G'Kar on the shoulder. "And my greatest fear."

"I am flattered on both counts," G'Kar said, "that you–"

"You should be able to see it now," Londo suddenly said, sounding somewhat annoyed. "I don't understand why ... oh. Oh, of course. I am still wearing my mantle. Naturally ... naturally, you do not see it, because I am covering it. Here ... hold on." He shrugged off his ceremonial cape. G'Kar leaned forward, confused. There seemed to be some kind of lump visible now, a tumor of some sort...

Then he gasped and tried to stand up so quickly that the chair he was sitting on tumbled back with a clatter. He almost stumbled, but righted himself at the last moment.

The creature situated on Londo's shoulder literally reeked of evil and foulness. It apparently had an eye of some sort, but the eye was just in the process of closing. G'Kar could barely make out tendrils that were extended down into the emperor's pure white clothes.

Londo was utterly unperturbed. "You see it, yes?"

G'Kar managed to nod, but just barely.

"Very stylish, eh? Soon everyone will be wanting one, I think."

"What... is it?"

"My conscience," Londo told him. His thick eyebrows knitted as he tried to pick up the thread of the conversation. "Ohhh ... yes. Yes, I remember. All about me. That is what this has all been."

"Londo ..." A stunned G'Kar was pointing at the creature on Londo's shoulder.

But Londo was paying it no mind at all. In his own mind, the conversation had moved on. "All of this ... has been one great epic about the loss of a man's soul... and its eventual recovery and redemption, but only at a terrible price. As an epic story, it has potential... do you think?"

G'Kar managed a nod.

"The thing is, G'Kar... that at this point, the Drakh – believe it or not – need me. Even as some of their number depart this world, others desire to stay. They still see me as their instrument of revenge ... their puppet, to be danced with for some time to come. Without me ... they have nothing. And without Sheridan and Delenn ... they do not even have revenge. They hate Sheridan and Delenn, you know. Because they told the Shadows to leave ... and the Shadows did. In some ways, the Drakh are like ..."

He fished for a comparison and then smiled. "... they are like children. Children abandoned by their parents and taking out their anger on the world. I can almost find it within me not to hate them. Almost. But not quite."

"You said ... 'without Sheridan and Delenn.' Are you saying that you intend to let them go?"

Slowly Londo managed to nod, though not without effort. "That is my intent. It will be ... somewhat involved. The Drakh do not want them to leave. The Drakh want them dead. And in recent days, it has become rather important for me to do things ... other than the way the Drakh desire."

Suddenly so much of everything that had happened became clear. How long had Londo not been responsible for his actions? How long had one of those creatures sat on his shoulder, watching him, manipulating his moves? All the way back to the beginning of the War? Had the creatures told him to bomb the Narn Homeworld? Betray G'Kar? Was Londo, after all this time, genuinely an innocent man?

"If Sheridan and Delenn can leave ... so can you, Londo," G'Kar said with sudden urgency. "We all can. We can escape..."

But Londo shook his head. "No ... no. Sooner or later, my small ... associate ... would awaken. The instant that happened, the Drakh vessels would come after us and blow us to hell."

"Then let me kill that thing..."

"If it dies, I die. Besides, G'Kar, some things are preordained. Trust me on that. This is the only way."

"But if that... thing ... controlled your actions..."

"Ahhh ... I see what you think. No, G'Kar, no. In the grand scheme of things, this," and he indicated the creature, "is only a recent acquisition." He leaned forward, coughed several times, and then said raggedly, "Would you like to know... what sort of person I was? After I arranged for the bombing of the Narn colony in Quadrant 14... the emperor, Emperor Turhan, with his last breath, told me that my associates and I were damned. And I announced that instead he had condoned and applauded our actions. And do you know what else, G'Kar, old friend?" And he half smiled. "Given the exact same opportunity ... I would do it again. I would figure out some way to spare my people this ... this debacle," and he gestured to the smoking ruins of Centauri Prime.

"But what I did to your people ..." And he snapped his fingers. "Like that, once more, given the opportunity."

G'Kar bristled, his blood thudding in his temple, and it was all he could do not to leap for the smirking face right then...

And then he figured it out. He realized that Londo was just trying to get to him ... to enrage him ... to get him to ...

Attack him? Kill him?

Of course. Kill him. That had to be it.

And then, before G'Kar could say or do anything further, there was the sound of voices approaching. Stern guards were saying, "Keep moving!"

Londo stood on uneven legs and, with more willpower than actual strength, thrust himself toward his throne. He caught himself on it and swung himself to a seated position, allowing the shadows to cloak him.

"Hide," he told G'Kar. "Now. Hurry. There is a small dressing chamber over there," and he pointed. Even that movement clearly pained him. "Go there."

"Why?"

"Because time is running short, and the minutes it would take me to explain to Sheridan and Delenn why things must be done, these lost minutes might well prevent our being able to do them. Do as I say."

"As you command," G'Kar said with a deep sense of mockery. He stepped into the room Londo had indicated and softly shut the door behind himself.

And then he waited... for his final instructions.

C
HAPTER 25

Londo did not sit forward on his throne, because the pain was too great. His conversation with G'Kar had taken the last of his strength from him. He did not think he had any reserves left.

One of the guards came in first and walked toward the throne. He did so hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure if Londo was even there. That was how well hidden in the shadows Londo was. "Highness?"

"Yes."

Having affirmed for himself that Londo was there, the guard said, "Sheridan had passed out for a short time, but he seems to have recovered."

"Oh, good," Londo said dryly. "We wouldn't want him to be anything but awake for his final moments. Bring them in."

Sheridan and Delenn were ushered before his presence. They squinted in the dimness of the room; Londo preferred it dark these days. It was as if he had surrendered totally to it. The guards stepped out, leaving them alone. Sheridan and Delenn seemed puzzled, as if wondering whether they were alone.

Suddenly Londo's hand went numb. Even he had lost track of how much he had had to drink. The glass, which he had totally forgotten he was holding, slipped out of his grasp and clattered to the floor. Delenn jumped slightly. Sheridan did not. For some reason, Londo found that interesting.

Delenn and Sheridan slowly began to walk toward him, squinting.

"Close enough," Londo said softly. He spoke hardly above a whisper, and the words were slurred. He barely recognized his voice. He felt as if he were viewing the world through a haze.

He tried to stand and discovered that his legs and brain were no longer on speaking terms. If he did manage to get to his feet, he would most likely topple over, and how dignified would that be? It wasn't fit that he spend his last moments – and they were his last, he was quite convinced of that – flat on his face.

"You will excuse me if I do not stand," he managed to say. "You see, I have had considerable to drink... it is the only way we can be alone. We do not wish to wake it."

Sheridan looked at him in confusion. Technically, he looked twice as confused as he should be, because Londo was seeing two of him. "Wake what?"

Londo cocked an eyebrow, which was the only part of him capable of movement. "Ah, then you do not know. We all have our keepers, you see ..." He chuckled softly. "Oh, they make us think we have free will, but it's a lie. I gave a very good performance, yes?"

He saw understanding beginning to dawn on Delenn's face. Sheridan still looked befuddled. That made sense to Londo. He had long suspected that Delenn was the true brains in the family. "It was satisfied," he continued. "It doesn't care why I do what I do as long as I do it... as long as you are dead."

He managed to find enough strength to lean forward. Delenn's face remained impassive. It was as if she was expecting to see the creature there. But Sheridan looked totally stunned, and that confused Londo even further. Londo knew that he had spotted the keeper on his son's shoulder, when he had endeavored to stop the boy from leaving Minbar. Now, though, Sheridan acted as if he'd never encountered one of them before.

"It cannot hold its liquor, you see," Londo explained. "I learned that if I drink just enough, I can put it to sleep for a few minutes ... a few minutes where I am in charge of myself again ..." He took a deep breath. Putting together understandable words, coherent sentences, was a tremendous effort for him. "But the minutes have been growing shorter and shorter... so we do not have much time."

He leaned back, once again at home in the shadows. And why not? He had been living within them for so long, he no longer had anything to fear.

"My life is almost over. My world, all I hoped for ... gone. You two are my last chance ... for this place, for my world ... for my own redemption." He steadied his voice, glad that the alcohol had so numbed him that he was no longer capable of feeling any emotion; merely observing it from a distance, as if in a dream. "You will find a ship hidden behind the palace. My personal guard will take you. In exchange for your lives, I ask that you and your allies help free my world. I can do nothing more for them."

Sheridan seemed touched, and still a bit bewildered. "Londo... if there's anything–"

Londo shook his head. "No. There is nothing. Now go, quickly. You don't have much time. I can ... feel it starting to wake up. Hurry. Go," his voice got louder with the last words.

Sheridan and Delenn looked at one another, and then turned and left. He knew that Dunseny and Caso would be right outside, as they had been instructed. That they would carry out his final orders.