Out of Turn (15 page)

I swallowed, wanting to look away, but I didn’t dare. “I’m not trying to say that I do…,” I backtracked.

Kade closed his eyes, so I shut up. After a moment, he spoke.

“All I need is right here.”

A lump grew in my throat and Kade’s form blurred in my vision. Reaching down to where his hands rested on my bare knees, I took one hand in mine and laced my fingers through his. He opened his eyes again and lifted his head from the cushion.

“You’re all shiny, you know,” he said quietly.

I gave a little smile, chagrined. “Stupid glitter wouldn’t wash off,” I replied, my voice as soft as his.

“I like it. You sparkle like an angel on Christmas morning.”

His words rendered me speechless, but he didn’t seem to mind. With another soft sigh, he turned and lay down between my legs, resting on his side and nestling his head on my stomach. His hands rested on the curve of my waist in a loose grip as I leaned back against the arm of the couch. I was reminded of that night in the crappy motel room in Chicago, so long ago, when Kade had assumed a similar posture.

I wasn’t wearing much underneath the robe—but Kade seemed to be behaving himself. My fingers combed through his hair, the dark strands as soft as silk. I didn’t know if he was sleeping or just looking out the window at the lights. I did know it was quiet and peaceful, a moment to be savored, and made all the more special for its rarity.

Kade—letting down his guard.

“Do you want to know why I started this new business?” he asked after a while.

“Hmmm?” I was still idly combing through his hair.

“I did it for you.”

My fingers stopped, my brows drawing together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“When you and Blane broke up, again, I had this stupid, idiotic hope that if I changed, if I could make a life someone could share with me, that maybe… you would.”

I was stunned. “Kade, I—I don’t know what to say.”

He shifted, turning so he could look up at me. “Don’t say anything,” he said. “Not yet. Just think about it. We’re good together. We have fun, make a good team.”

All that was true.

“You wouldn’t have to worry about money anymore,” Kade continued. “We could travel. I can find jobs anywhere and everywhere. You want to see the world, princess? I can give it to you.”

“We’re friends,” I said. “You don’t have to give me anything.”

“I need you,” Kade said. “I’ve never needed anyone the way I need you. You and I have something, and if this is the only chance I’m going to get to convince you of that, then I’m going to take it.”

“Kade—”

“Just… think about it. We could be good, really good, together. And we could be way more than friends.”

I went quiet as he settled back on my stomach, my mind spinning with what Kade was offering. Then I inhaled sharply. Kade had turned his head more and was now pushing between my legs, sliding aside the satin fabric of the robe.

“Don’t—” I began, squirming backward. I didn’t get far, though. His hands tightened on my hips, holding me in place.

Kade’s mouth fastened to my inner thigh. His tongue traced warm, wet circles over my skin. Taking my legs, he hooked them over his shoulders and nuzzled the silk triangle at the apex of my thighs.

He groaned even as I let out a gasp, heat flooding the core of me.

More heat as he pressed his tongue flat against the thin fabric. My legs trembled in reaction, every sense acutely aware of the brush of his jaw, the warmth of his breath.

He nuzzled me again, inhaling deeply, and I felt my face grow hot.

“I thought you didn’t want to be the rebound guy,” I managed to say.

“I changed my mind,” he growled. “I’ll take whatever you’ll let me.”

There was the sound of fabric tearing, and then I was bare to him. Frantically, I reached down to cover myself, but he caught my wrists. Then his mouth was on me, his tongue inside me. My eyes slammed shut as rational thought flew out the window.

I felt like one of Kade’s Moon Pies—no part of me was left untouched by the warm invasion of his lips and tongue. Fire licked at my veins the way Kade licked my body. Blood thundered in my ears as he teased me, my heart racing. My hands clenched into fists and Kade released my wrists, but instead of pushing him away, I buried my fingers in his hair.

He lifted his head, then slid a finger inside me. I gasped and choked at the new sensation, prying open my eyes.

Kade’s head was shockingly dark against my thighs. His mouth was wet, his lips red—his eyes were the bluest I’d ever seen them, and he was watching me.

Holding my gaze, he lowered his head again between my legs. I was transfixed by the sight of him. His eyes never left mine as he kissed me in the most intimate way.

My conscience was screaming and part of me was aghast at what was happening. The other part of me, the part that had been frozen in ice the past three months, felt alive.

“Oh God, oh God, Kade…” I wasn’t even aware of what I was saying—I just knew that despite my conscience I didn’t want him to stop. My body tensed and I could no longer keep my eyes open as I shattered into a million pieces, a cry ripping from my throat. Gentle swipes of Kade’s tongue prolonged my pleasure until it was too much. I pulled on his hair and he climbed up my body to take my mouth with his.

I could taste myself on his tongue. His kiss was deep and languid. I’d forgotten how well he could kiss. Kade didn’t rush through kissing, he savored it like an alcoholic with the last drop of bourbon. My whole body trembled in the aftermath of what he’d done to me and my eyes were wet. Kade gentled me with his kisses until my heart rate had slowed
and I breathed more easily. When he lifted his head, our eyes met.

“I could get addicted to you,” he said.

He stood and lifted me in his arms, which was a good thing, as my legs were too unsteady to support me. I tentatively rested my head against his shoulder as he carried me into his bedroom.

After settling me on the bed, he stripped down to a pair of charcoal-gray briefs that clung to him and weren’t of enough adequate material to hide how he was really feeling. Lust slammed hard into me and I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll forget my resolve to take it slow,” he said roughly.

Sliding into bed next to me, he turned and arranged us spoon style, my bottom nestled against his pelvis and his arm curved around my waist. My hands curled into fists as I fought not to turn around.

It was a long time before I fell asleep.

I don’t know what woke me. I was just suddenly awake. The glowing clock on the nightstand said it was still the middle of the night, though it was pushing dawn back home. Maybe my internal clock hadn’t yet adjusted.

Kade was sound asleep next to me, his breathing deep and even. I turned my head to look at him. Stretched out on his stomach, the sheet fallen to his waist, he looked like he was posing for a magazine’s photo shoot. His face was smooth and peaceful in sleep, his dark hair tousled over his
forehead, and I had to restrain the urge to comb my fingers through it.

I couldn’t fall back to sleep, my mind beginning to spin as I looked at Kade. The words he had said, the offer he’d made, what he’d done—all of it replayed inside my head. He wanted to be with me but hadn’t said anything about love, just that he needed me, wanted me. Could I do that—build a life with someone I didn’t love, who didn’t love me—and close the door forever on Blane and me? I hadn’t realized until this moment how I’d still been hoping, in a tiny corner of my heart, that Blane and I weren’t over.

Choosing to be with either one of them at this point would ruin their relationship forever, wouldn’t it?

My stomach rolled and I couldn’t breathe. I climbed out of bed, grabbed my robe, and stumbled from the room, hoping I didn’t wake Kade. I couldn’t face him yet. Not while my heart was in such turmoil over the tangled mess that ensnared all three of us.

What had I done?

I made it into the other bedroom, then just stood there. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel. What would it do to Kade and Blane if I took Kade up on his offer? Kade had said he needed me, only me, but I knew that wasn’t true. He needed Blane, too, even if he was currently pissed off and in denial about that.

I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees, pulling my legs to my chest and trying to ease the churning in my stomach. I rocked back and forth, staring unseeing out the windows. I was drowning… drowning in regret and confusion.

The muffled ring of my cell phone penetrated my cocoon. My purse lay on the floor by the bed. I reached for it without thinking, dug out my cell, and froze.

Blane was calling me.

C
HAPTER
S
IX

M
y hand trembled slightly as I answered the call.

“Hello?” My voice was soft. I didn’t want to wake Kade.

Silence for a moment, then, “Kat. It’s me.”

“I know.”

“Did I wake you?”

“I was up.”

A beat. “I guess you’re wondering why the hell I’m calling you in the middle of the night.”

He sounded tired, the deep gravel of his voice telling me he was in bed maybe, or had just woken up and was perhaps trying to fall back asleep.

“Yeah. I guess.” My voice was thick as a great wave of sadness rose in me. I rested my head on my knees and stared out the window.

“I had a dream,” Blane said. “About you. You were here with me, and we were curled up on the couch together, watching some movie. And it was so real, and God, it felt so good. And then I woke up.”

Yeah, been there, done that. When I didn’t speak, he continued.

“I was so wrong, Kat, my own doubts and insecurities made me think you’d do things that I should have known you never would. And I wanted so bad to call you, tell you, once I realized what a fucking dick I’d been. But I was afraid. Afraid I’d gone too far, afraid you wouldn’t be able to forgive me or even
want
to forgive me.”

They were words I’d wanted to hear from Blane for months, words I’d thought I never
would
hear. I waited for the surge of happiness that I’d thought I’d feel, but it didn’t come. Instead, I just felt tired.

“Kat? Are you there? Please, say something.”

“What do you want me to say?” I asked with a sigh. “After all we’ve been through, do you think you can call me, say you’re sorry, and it’ll all be okay? It seems to always be about you—what
you
want, what
you
need. Am I supposed to just forget what happened?” I paused. “How could we ever go back to the way we were?”

The question wasn’t rhetorical—I was really asking. I couldn’t see a path to a new life with Blane, at least not one where I wasn’t constantly terrified that my next step would cause him to turn on me again.

“Kat,” Blane spoke softly, “where are you? Let me come to you, see you, touch you. We can talk.”

“You can’t,” I said without thinking. “I’m in Las Vegas.” I wondered what my answer would have been if I’d been at home instead, and whether I’d have let him come over.

Silence. “Vegas?” Blane asked, a note of warning entering his voice. “What are you doing there?” A pause. “Are you with Kade?”

“Who else would I be with?” My reply was sharp, the change in his tone affecting mine.

“I see. And are you two still just… friends?” There was no mistaking his meaning or the leashed anger in his words now.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snapped, guilt hitting me hard. I knew exactly what he meant. “What do you care if I’m in Vegas with Kade or what we do here? In case you’ve forgotten, Blane, you and I broke up.”

“That doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. I just never imagined you’d come between Kade and me like this.”

“That’s not fair,” I said. “You know that’s the last thing I ever wanted. None of this would have even happened if you had listened to me instead of your uncle.”

“Don’t bring my uncle into this—he has nothing to do with it.”

“Bullshit!” I exploded. “He has
everything
to do with it! He tried to buy me off months ago to stop dating you, and when that didn’t work, he made up an affair between me and Kade that you never should have believed!” I was yelling now, seething with anger. “So don’t you dare try and take the high road, Blane! The blame for all of this is staring you right in the mirror.”

I ended the call, trying to get my boiling emotions under control. I was so angry and yet devastated. I buried my face in my hands.

Kade’s hands on my shoulders weren’t a surprise and I didn’t resist as he pulled my body toward his chest to envelop me in his arms. His skin was warm against my cheek and he smoothed my hair as I cried.

I was struck by how wrong this was, crying on Kade’s shoulder about Blane, and forced myself to stop. As cruel as
Blane had been, he’d been right. It wasn’t going to get any better between them while I was still in the picture.

“Kade, I can’t,” I said thickly, looking up at him. “We can’t. This”—I motioned between us—“can’t happen. Things will never be right between you and Blane so long as I’m around.”

“Is that what he told you?” His eyes were intense, even in the dim light, his expression grave.