Outback Sunset (41 page)

After a few opening pleasantries and when they’d become comfortable on the sofa, Curtis got right
down to it. ‘Mum, some disturbing information has come my way and it’s, well, difficult to put into words that don’t offend so, forgive me if I don’t try.’

Hilary gave him an imperious look. ‘What are you talking about, Curtis?’

‘About you and … Stuart.’ He shifted uneasily on the leather sofa which squeaked as his weight moved. ‘Old stuff, really. That …’ he plunged straight in, ‘you and he had an affair before he married Diane.’

Hilary sat up straight, as if she had been stung by something sharp. Her gold-rimmed bifocals almost fell off the bridge of her autocratic nose.
‘What?
What person told you such … lies? Tell me, who was it?’

Succinctly, he explained that Nova had passed on information from Diane and that he had checked with his aunt who had corroborated it. He watched her reach for her pack of cigarettes and lighter, and light up. She didn’t answer straight away and he gauged from her closed expression that she was holding her anger down while she attempted to come up with an answer that would satisfy him and save her pride.

‘Is it true?’ The question was asked with gentle insistence. It was significant that his mother refused to look directly at him. Her gaze was set on a potted palm to the left of and behind him. A long moment’s silence pervaded the room. Then —

‘Yes,’ she said, her lips compressed together. She did that when she wasn’t happy or at ease. ‘It … it happened a long time ago.’ The fingers of one hand held the cigarette while the other moved aimlessly
on her lap, smoothing out imaginary creases. ‘I did something very foolish and have regretted it every day of my life since.’

‘Do you want to tell me about it?’ Curtis asked, believing that because the matter was out in the open, she would want to unburden herself.

Hilary stared at him strangely almost as if he had asked her to commit murder. ‘It isn’t easy to tell a son that you had an affair, but now that you know, I suppose you should know how it happened.’ An eyebrow arched meaningfully. ‘If only to counteract the innuendos and lies Diane’s probably told.’

‘Diane gave me the bare facts, that’s all. No details.’

She took another drag on the cigarette, exhaled and watched the smoke spiral up and evaporate before she spoke. ‘Matthew and I hadn’t been married long, about a year, I think. He was away a lot and I, well, I wasn’t used to being on my own so much, having come from a busy social life in Brisbane. I had spent holidays on my grandfather’s property on the Darling Downs but I didn’t know very much about the realities of station life.’ She looked at him. ‘How you have to occupy yourself — there’s always plenty to do anyway — so you don’t get bored or lonely.’

‘At the time, Stuart was engaged to Diane and working on a pearling lugger. He came to Amaroo for a week’s break. There was no one else around other than Dulcie, the part-Aboriginal woman who cleaned and cooked. No-one stimulating to talk to. We started off doing things together, riding, checking the bores, listening to music at night,
sharing meals etc … One night, well, we both had too much to drink and …’ she shook her head, ‘I’m sure you don’t want the lurid details, but
things
happened. Next morning we woke up in bed together and …’

‘Stuart got you drunk so he could seduce you?’

Hilary gave him a self-deprecating smile. ‘I’d like to be able to say that but in all honesty I can’t. I was lonely for companionship, for affection. Matthew had been gone for almost three months, droving along the Canning stock route to deliver cattle to a station in the Flinders Ranges. I was a willing participant, I’m ashamed to say.’ Her tanned, lined cheeks stained pink as she admitted her guilt.

‘Then Diane called. She told Stuart that she was pregnant and he’d better come to Adelaide and marry her before her parents got wind of it.’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘He went.’

‘Bastard …’

She rolled her eyes. ‘You know Stuart. He isn’t big on compassion or things that don’t serve his best interests. Diane’s family had money, and a business interest in tourism. That’s how Stuart got started in the business, he learnt it from Mike, his father-in-law.’

Now for the big question. Curtis took a calming breath. ‘And Bren. He was conceived that night with Stuart, wasn’t he?’

Another, longer silence. ‘Diane said that?’ Her tone was very cool, contained.

‘She implied it.’ He thought for a moment. ‘No, more than implied. I believe that’s partly why she’s ticked off with both of you. You had the son she longed to give Stuart and wasn’t able to.’

‘What a stupid woman.’ Hilary’s tone held no pity. ‘Diane never knew how to handle Stuart, she still doesn’t. That’s why she puts up with his extracurricular activities, because she doesn’t have the guts to leave him. I would if I had a man who played around as often as Stuart does.’

Hating himself for being a relentless bastard, Curtis reminded her, ‘Mum, you haven’t answered my question about Bren?’

‘Do I need to? I can see in your eyes that you’ve made up your mind as to the identity of Bren’s father.’

So she wasn’t going to confirm it one way or another, unless forced to. ‘There’s a lot of evidence pointing to that being more than a possibility.’

‘Is there?’ she challenged.

‘You always told us that Bren came early, that he was an eight-months baby. His birth weight was big compared to myself and Lauren, and we were full-term babies. I believe Bren was full-term and that he was conceived a month before Dad came back from droving. Then there was your nervous breakdown. No-one could understand why it happened when your pregnancy and the birth were normal.’ He gave her a swift look, but her inscrutable expression gave nothing away. ‘Guilt, perhaps? That’s why you’ve treated Bren differently to Lauren and myself, you feel guilty because he isn’t Matthew’s son.’

‘And there’s the physical likeness between Stuart and Bren — they could be father and son. Which is why Bren and Stuart are close, because Stuart
knows
he’s his father. And more recently, there were the compatibility tests to give Kyle a new liver where
I was the more compatible of the two of us. The transplant team were surprised by that …’

Hilary smiled for the first time during their conversation. ‘Son, you’re drawing a long bow with some of those claims. You have no concrete proof of anything, other than Diane’s accusation.’

He didn’t want to mention paternity or DNA tests, he wasn’t going to go that far. ‘Possibly not, however, there is enough to give one pause to think, don’t you agree?’

Hilary studied her son for several moments, and it was obvious that she was trying to gauge how he felt about what he’d said. ‘A hypothetical question, Curtis. What would you do if I told you that it was true, that Bren isn’t Matthew’s son?’

‘Do?’ Though he frowned, deep down he understood the question. He sought a moment’s respite to formulate his answer. ‘What do you mean?’

‘If Bren isn’t Matthew’s son, it alters the question of inheritance, as no doubt you’re aware. It makes you Matthew’s legal heir. If that were so, what would you do about Amaroo? Would you claim your inheritance?’

He had been mulling over that possibility ever since Nova had made her claim. ‘What? Toss Bren and his family off Amaroo?’ He shook his head and, fleetingly his gaze moved to the window and the bay beyond. ‘I wouldn’t be much of a brother if I did that. I love Bren and it would hurt him too much. As far as I’m concerned, nothing would change. It’s just that now that the matter has come up, I have to know the truth. Besides,’ he took a breath, ‘I’ve been
thinking it’s time for Regan and myself to move on. In the long term, there’s nothing for me at Amaroo.’ He had already made that decision because of his feelings for Vanessa. There was no way he could stay there, loving her as he did and not being able to have her.

‘Moving on, to where, doing what?’ a surprised Hilary asked as she lit a second cigarette.

‘Lauren and Marc have done well at Cadogan’s Run. They want to buy out my share of the property. That would give me a deposit on something smaller, somewhere else.’ Curtis saw tears beginning to form in his mother’s eyes and looked away so as not to embarrass her. He felt sorry for her. The years of guilt, of compensating and hiding the truth from his father and the family. It was little wonder she had become so … difficult. Years of piled up guilt could do that to a person, he imagined.

‘You’d do that, give up Amaroo to keep Bren happy?’ She smiled in wonderment as he nodded, and leant across to pat his hand. ‘You’re quite a man, Curtis. Your dad would be very, very proud. Damn it,’ she sniffed noisily and added, ‘I’m very proud.’

‘It’s the best thing for all of us.’

Continuing to hold his hand, she pressured him to know how he really felt about her. ‘I suppose you … hate me, now that you know I’m not the perfect mother I purported to be?’

‘No, Mum, you’re like everyone else,’ he grinned at her, ‘human. Things happen. “Shit happens,” as Nova would say. One error in judgement doesn’t make a person worthless. You made Dad happy, you
were a good mother to us and a capable mistress of Amaroo. I don’t have anything to complain about.’

‘Then for the record, and just between us, I’ll tell you the truth. Bren is Stuart’s son. Everything you said earlier was true. Stuart knows, which is why he pays him so much attention. That’s why he makes a fuss over Kyle too.’

Curtis nodded gravely, pleased that she’d had the guts to admit something so unpalatable. Now everything made sense. ‘Stuart must have had a good laugh when he found out that he’d got you pregnant. It was the perfect revenge for not getting a share of Amaroo, to know that
his
son would inherit Amaroo, not Matthew’s. That’s probably why he comes around so often, to silently crow over his achievement.’

Hilary gasped as the full import of what he’d said sank in. ‘All these years, I’ve never thought of it in that light. For a long time, afterwards, it was difficult. Having to be friendly towards Stuart, Diane too, with the knowledge that if either of them wanted to hurt Matthew they could tell him what we’d done. It was a strain.’ She gave him a tentative, unsure smile. ‘So,
all this
… stays with us?’ She shook her head, her features tightening with concern. ‘If Bren found out …’

Curtis understood, perfectly. ‘He won’t learn the truth about his birth from me. That’s a promise.’

‘Good, but what about Nova?’

Nova might be a problem but he didn’t want his mother to know that. He forced a note of confidence into his voice. ‘She’ll be right. I’ll make sure she understands that it’s our secret.’

‘Well, after this … chat,’ she laughed nervously, ‘I think we’ve earned a drink. I certainly need one,’ Hilary said with feeling.

The ordeal was over, Curtis thought as he moved towards the large traymobile with its ample stock of liquor. A gin and tonic for his mother, a whisky on the rocks for himself. He was sure they would both be having more than one …

Nova stared at the fluorescently illuminated numbers of the digital clock on the bedside table: 11.20 p.m. She couldn’t sleep, her nerves were all a tingle because she was almost jumping out of her skin with anticipation and excitement. Curtis was back from Darwin. He had talked to his mother and she was in a lather of anxiety to learn what had been said. Hilary could have denied Diane’s story because she had more to lose than Diane — both of her sons’ love and respect.

She shrugged her shoulders in an I-couldn’t-care-less attitude as, in the darkness, she fished into her top drawer, found a bottle and took out a couple of pills. She swallowed them with a mouthful of water taken from the glass on the bedside table. So what if she had a habit, she could control it. Those dickhead psychiatrists at the sanatorium said she wouldn’t be able to but what did they know? Bloody nothing. Then she spared Curtis’s mother a moment’s sympathy — it was too bad about Hilary, but the woman had played around, had her fun and now the truth was out and she just had to wear it. What she cared about was Curtis, about him getting what was rightfully his so they could share it together.
Amaroo would be Curtis’s, and hers, and how bloody marvellous that was going to be!

For a minute or two she listened for any noises in the flat. Her father and Fran had come in about an hour ago. Through the plasterboard walls she could hear Reg’s gentle snore, and Fran would be out for the count. The old duck got pretty tired these days. Amaroo days were long ones and helping Vanessa with Kyle guaranteed that she went to sleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

It was too hot for even a sheet so she got up, and without switching on the light, peered through the window. Curtis’s cottage was fifty metres away and she could see that the lights were on — he was still up. Dressing in shorts and a singlet top, she pulled on her daggy, elasticised boots, took her torch from the chest of drawers near the door before leaving her bedroom and tiptoed outside into the night’s steamy silence.

On the walk to Curtis’s cottage Nova stopped twice and almost turned around, curiously undecided as to whether she should push the issue to find out what Hilary had said.
Go on
, her inner voice encouraged,
you want to know what the old crow said, don’t you?
She moved forward, using the torch to light up the ground in front of her. What if Hilary had denied everything? That would make her look a dill and a half, and destroy any credibility she had with Curtis. Still, in spite of that possibility, she itched to know what had happened; she wouldn’t rest until she did.

Nova knocked gently on the front door, then turned the handle and opened it. The room reeked from the essence of liqueur whisky, Wild Turkey.
She had to search the room to find Curtis. He sat slumped in an armchair facing the bookcase, only his profile was visible. A small table stood by the chair with a bottle and an empty glass on it. She thought he was asleep until, suddenly, his head and shoulders swivelled towards her.

‘Oh. It’s you …’ he said, his tone was gloomy in the extreme. He turned his head away.

Nova’s eyebrows shot up and she looked at the half empty bottle. Not a good sign. Curtis liked a drink or two though he wasn’t a patch on his brother, but he rarely touched Wild Turkey unless his intention was to get drunk quickly. She remembered that he’d got drunk a lot after Georgia had left and taken Regan with her. Standing inside the door she almost turned to leave, until she remembered that she had a stake in knowing. Her future happiness hinged on what Hilary had confessed to and what Curtis planned to do about it.