Outcast (18 page)

Chapter Sixteen

The sun was starting to set. Prez could see the light emitted by the amberflies intensifying as they buzzed around the tree like glowing leaves, the occasional green flashes of curious rodent eyes from the grass, the fading glow of life from the distant city where Garlo had taken him to live, all those years ago.

"He bought me," he went on. "And then when he got really sick, I did my best to take care of him. But he knew when it got too much, he'd just..." He mimed an injection into the arm. "And he did. Incidentally, that's how I got to know Doc, the family physician... only Garlo had no family left. When he died, he left me everything. It was quite funny, actually, to see these lawyers scrabbling around with the legalities of
beasts
inheriting money and property. Or it would have been funny, if..."

The lawyer's office had smelled of stale alcohol and smoke, the carpet scattered with
safa
nut shells, the desk untidy as if the man had given up and was just going through the motions. Garlo's lawyer had placed the pen in his
ku-tah
hand and covered it with his own, sighing impatiently as he helped Prez to sign his own name in written Akilian for the first and last time. He'd been numb to the core after Garlo's death, barely able to understand what people were saying, that he didn't have to go back to the compound. That he was free to leave, to go into space, away from Akilia for good.

He'd never felt so alone in all his life.

"Anyway," he went on, "Garlo's money allowed me to buy Flack and the others out of the compound. Everything I have, it's because of him. And the worst thing? They think he bought me as a
pet
, and maybe it started like that -- the Akilians would tolerate
that
but not -- anyway, the others, they don't know that I..."
Loved him
. Even now, he couldn't find the strength to admit it to another person. He turned and looked at Lan, hugging his knees to his chest. "Do you think it was sick? What I did? Sometimes I think it was."

Lan was silent for a moment and stroked the bark of the tree. "What genus of tree is this?"

Prez stood up suddenly, his eyes flashing with anger. "Is that all you can say? I'm sitting here telling you I fell in love with someone who was basically a torturer, and you're thinking about the
kin-tah
tree?"

"You were not telling me that," Lan said. "But you have told me now."

"Oh," Prez said, and the anger died as fast as it had flared. He flopped down and put his head in his hands. "So now you know," he said in a muffled voice. "All these years, I couldn't fix it in my head, how to feel about everything. I loved him, but it was never an equal relationship. Even Akilia itself, it's ugly but all the same, I can see how beautiful it is underneath the grays. It was a prison, but still... it's the only home I've ever had. I thought coming here would make it clear, but it's not helping."

Then he felt Lan's strong arms wrapped around him, a whisper of breath at his ear. "Now I understand," Lan said. "This darkness in your mind. If you loved him, then you should allow yourself to grieve for him. It will be... helpful."

Prez swallowed against the growing lump in his throat. "Maybe," he said. The pollen was making his eyes stream. He sneezed again and wiped his eyes, but there shouldn't have been so many tears -- it was only grass after all -- but they kept on coming anyway. He thought of Garlo's ashes, scattered around the tree. Garlo's ship that had been to all the places its owner hadn't lived to see. Garlo's last coherent words.
You have to let go
.

"I know," he whispered, but then the tears flooded his vision and the pain in his throat spread to his heart. His breath hitched suddenly then raw, painful cries began to force themselves out between gasps for air; all the time Lan held onto him and stroked his hair and whispered to him in his own language, soothing vowels and hushed sibilant sounds like a breeze through trees. Eventually the wave of long-buried sorrow passed, and he fell asleep with his head on Lan's shoulder. Still, Lan did not let go.

***

It was Lan who piloted the shuttle back to the
Outcast II
. Prez sat slumped on the floor, but even then, Lan could sense the darkness in his mind starting to recede. When the craft landed safely back in the belly of its parent ship, Prez was asleep again. Lan stroked his hair out of his eyes and scooped him into his arms. The light from the shuttle bay was dazzling after the dim light of Akilia's evening, and it was a moment before he saw Flack waiting there, arms folded.

"Is he okay?"

"He will be okay. I will put him in his quarters. It has been a long day."

"Okay." But Flack didn't go away; instead, he followed Lan into the elevator and along the corridor to Prez's quarters. He typed in the access code to the door and it swished open, and he waved Lan ahead. Prez's bed was unmade from the night before, his uniform scattered on the floor, and the room smelled faintly of
pactishe
. Lan eased the sleeping body onto the mattress and pulled the covers around him.

"Did he tell you about Doctor Garlo?"

Lan wondered what he should say. "Yes."

"Good. It's about time he told someone about that." Flack shook his head. "All these years, and he still thinks I don't know they were lovers."

"You knew?"

Flack's expression was surprisingly tender. "Of course I did," he said. "When he bought us out of that compound, you didn't need any telepathic ability to see that he was
upset
. Anyway," he said as he clicked off the light, "I'll take us back to the port at Andra. We can stay there for a few days while we figure out what we're going to do on this holiday, maybe pay Vix a visit." He gave a dirty chuckle and rubbed his hands together. "And Lan... I'm glad you're here. Never got a chance to really introduce myself, although I gather you weren't a fan of my webs."

"I wondered why you expended such energy building them, considering that there were no flies to catch."

"Indeed! I guess it's not very exciting, being a spider." Flack chuckled and went out, whistling to himself. Lan stared at the closed door through the darkness and was glad he had not followed Doc's advice to crush the spider. It was still a challenge to work out the dynamics of
ku-tah
relationships, but he was learning, albeit slowly. Perhaps Doc had his reasons for disliking Flack, which made it all the more bizarre that he'd been the one to save Flack from a lifetime of webs and dark places.
We all have our stories
. Vaxel had said that, the day they'd watched the news on Aldor. Maybe one day Lan would hear theirs too.

Chapter Seventeen

The Andran port was busy with the arrival of an intergalactic cruiser, full of officials and tourists from far and wide, the occasional pet animal scampering around, chased by irate customs officials brandishing documents and laser stunners with equal voracity. The crew of the
Outcast II
went their separate ways for a few days, making a few purchases for their upcoming holiday and doing bits and pieces they'd been putting off for a while. Glitch bought more shoes and a two-piece swimming costume that looked as if it was made of fruit. Flack spent most of his time drunk and squandering his money at Vix's place, and returned from two days in the port's underbelly with bags under his eyes, messed-up hair, and a beatific grin on his face. One by one, they returned to the
Outcast II
, to wait for Prez to emerge from his quarters.

Lan's nose wrinkled at the smell of stale
mukkesh
that seemed to be oozing from Flack's pores. "I understand you enjoyed your stay," he said as they sat all together around the table in the small dining space. The walls were alive with an undersea scene, brightly-colored holographic fish and thick green ribbons of plant life, a relaxing visual that Lan knew was designed to reduce the chances of cockpit fever.

"Oh yes," Flack said dreamily. "Worked my way through the menu. I need my exercise, you know." He patted his fat belly and sighed.

Kris sipped at his cup of
baba
bean juice. "Wish I had your stamina," he said. "The Tibur was enough for me. Pretty expensive for a hand job, mind you. And I didn't appreciate what it did with its
other
tentacles."

Everyone laughed, and Lan smiled to himself. Even he had visited Vix's place, not that any of the others knew. And it had been very pleasant indeed. He'd remembered the kindness of Maki the very first time he'd been there with Prez and Doc, so bewildered and scared it made him laugh to remember it. He had been prepared to give her some money toward her departure from the brothel, but Vix had informed him that Maki's man had finally turned up with some sob story about an ex-wife and a laser disemboweller, and they had left the port together some weeks previously.

Then the cooking android arrived with some bowls of Azari nut porridge and there was no more talking for a while. It was one of the biggest improvements on the previous ship, Lan reflected, savoring the sweet taste of the milk and the crunchy texture of the nuts. The new android could make food that tasted almost like the real thing.

"Thought I'd find you degenerates here."

"Prez!" Flack exclaimed. "Man, you missed all the action."

Prez gave Lan a shy smile and sat down beside him. He looked well rested, happy, and his mind was calm as far as Lan could tell. He smelled faintly of chemicals from the shower, and his black hair was sculpted into a spiky and irregular style. It looked as if he'd been cutting it himself. "Action?"

"Vix's," Vaxel said, his mouth full of porridge. "New menu, apparently."

"I might try it myself, next time," Glitch said, shooting a look at him and sighing. "I
never
get any."

Flack laughed. "Well, as they say on Andra, if you don't have the gees, you don't get the whees."

 
Prez looked around and grinned. "Everyone ready for our holiday?"

Lan swallowed a huge gulp of porridge and wiped his eyes as it scorched its way into his stomach. "I have done considerable research into the blue planet," he managed to say, fanning his mouth. "It has been loaded into your Tablets. They have similar but primitive devices there, used for reading literature. You will be able to use them unnoticed."

"I've seen your research," Prez said. "We could spend the rest of our lives reading it. Great job, of course. Think you could condense it a little? What are the risks?"

"Aside from the fact that there is no approved list of vaccinations for that planet, you will need appropriate documentation, if you are apprehended by any law enforcement officials. I have taken the liberty of forging some... passports. I believe that their computer systems can easily be breached, both remotely from the
Outcast II
and from your Tablets. It will therefore be relatively simple to make yourselves... legal."

"Lovely," Prez said. "Anything else?"

"All of you should be able to blend in easily. However, your eye color--" He looked at Prez, "--is Akilian. If anyone draws attention to it, you may say that you are wearing..." He paused, trying to remember the alien words. "Contact lenses. You should also be aware that your vocabulary and pronunciation may have diverged from the original language spoken in the country you wish to visit. In the event of misunderstandings you may tell them that you are... European. That should divert any suspicions."

"Well, if those are the only things you'd assess as risks," Prez said, rubbing his hands. "Then we're good to go!"

Lan raised a warning finger. "If any of you should fall ill or have an accident, you must return to the ship
immediately
. Medical professionals will not be so easily fooled. And I have also secured medical personnel for this trip, as a precaution."

"Doc's coming too?"

"Doc is coming. He will board in the morning when he has finished his administrative work."

Prez leapt up from the table and started dancing around, letting out big whoops of excitement. "Come on, people!" he said, his eyes shining. "We're going to the
blue planet
! What do you think about that! A real adventure at last!" Then he hugged Lan and kissed him all over his face, leaving smears of porridge on top of the little blue blushes. Lan felt his brain light up with the searing light of Prez's happiness, and his heart pounded blissfully.

As Prez bounded out of the room, Glitch stroked Lan's face and smiled. "It's so sweet, the way you go all blue when he touches you. I wish
I
had an Aldorian man."

"Anything is possible in space," Lan said, and -- remembering to
look different
at last -- gave her a grin.

***

On the last night before the
Outcast II
reached the edge of Andran space, Prez left Flack at the controls and buzzed Lan's quarters. It was late; his body was tired, but his mind was racing. Thinking about the blue planet and the people who lived there and the songs the original abductees had sung to keep their spirits up in the compounds at night. They were all long gone, but children they never knew they had lived on, children who were going...
home
.

Lan opened his door, blinking sleepily. "Is there a problem?"

Prez looked at his naked body and smiled. "You're a sight for sore eyes."

"I do not understand. Your eyes are sore?"

"It's an old saying from... somewhere." Prez stepped into the room and the door swished shut behind him. The room was dark, lit only by the time display on Lan's bedside console. It was fresh inside, set on a cool temperature with just a faint scent of shower chemicals and the flowering honey-smelling plant Lan had brought from Aldor. He felt oddly nervous, looking at Lan standing in the dark with the glow of the figures edging his body in a pale green light.

He remembered how Lan had looked, skeletal and dying on his bed, and grabbed him in a sudden rush of feeling. "Thank you," he whispered, smoothing his palms against Lan's back.

Lan's arms wrapped around him in a strong grip. "What for?"

"Everything. I'm sorry I've been so preoccupied."

The faint touch of Lan's fingertips on the back of his neck sent a shiver through his body. Then Lan released him and took his hands in his. "It is a pleasure for me to be with you, whether you are preoccupied or not." They touched foreheads for a moment and Prez's mind swam suddenly with an intense feeling that made his whole body light up as if hot
baba
juice had just been poured into his veins.

"What was
that
?"

"Perhaps you are beginning to understand," Lan said. He stroked a finger down the side of Prez's face, down his neck, dipping into the little hollow at the base where a faint pulse was beginning to beat harder.

"Oh God, Lan," Prez murmured, carried away by the feeling of arousal spreading over his skin, like a forest fire started by one match. When Lan kissed him there, the hot wet feeling made his knees go weak, and he buried his fingers in Lan's thick hair, trying to catch a breath because it felt as if his lungs were shrinking in his chest. Backing away for a second, he yanked his jacket off and let it fall to the floor. Then the shirt; his fingers were shaking so much he could hardly undo the buttons. He cupped Lan's face in his hands for a second then kissed him, pressing his body against Lan's. The feeling of skin on skin was wonderful. Lan sucked gently on his lower lip for a second, and then Prez kissed him again, harder this time, touching his tongue against Lan's and wondering why the hell he hadn't just thrown caution to the wind and tried it ages before.

They crashed together onto the bed, and Prez rolled over so that he was straddling Lan's body. He put his palms on Lan's stomach and slid them up to his shoulders, up his neck, pulling himself forward so he could get more of those hot kisses. Then Lan paused, breathing heavily. "This situation would improve if you removed your trousers," he said. "The material is... chafing."

Prez sat up. "Ruin the romance, why don't you," he grumbled good-naturedly, yanking off his remaining clothes.

"It was not my intention to ruin anything," Lan said. "I am... inexperienced at this form of encounter."

"Me too." Prez snuggled up beside him and threw an arm over his chest. As he said it, he realized how true it was. Paying for sex meant no effort to please was ever required on his part. It had been a long, long time since he'd had a partner who actually
liked
him, and he felt the touch of nerves in his belly, just for a moment.

"Well," Lan said, stroking his finger against the orchid tattoo. "It is a matter that will require careful research."

Prez pressed his palm against Lan's chest. "Where's your heart?"

"Here." Lan took his hand and guided it down to the center of his torso, where Prez felt the thumping pulse...and something else. The tip of Lan's cock was resting against the back of his hand, spreading moisture against his skin. He lifted his hand and licked it off. It was a sweet taste, like the juice of
aska
fruit in summer. He slid down Lan's body and licked again at the source, then sucked it into his mouth as Lan's body stretched under his hands. It was as if Lan's cock was a living thing, the way it twitched and moved in his mouth, throbbing with the beat of his heart.

"Mmm," Prez said and massaged it with his hand for a second, stroking Lan's balls with the other. "I could do this all day." Then he stretched his lips down the thick shaft as far as he could and swallowed, humming to himself, ignoring the heat of his almost painful erection that trailed against the sheet, focusing on making Lan make those faint little noises that were driving him crazy.

Lan's body was starting to tremble, his hands grabbing at the sheets. "I would have no objections..." he gasped, "if you were to do that."

Prez laughed around his mouthful of cock, sensing that Lan was pretty close to the end. He felt Lan's fingers in his hair, the involuntary twitches in the muscles of his thighs, and sped his motion, sucking harder and faster, slicking a finger with saliva and circling it around Lan's asshole, then pushing it inside, not knowing if he'd find what he was looking for, being unfamiliar with Aldorian anatomy... but his finger touched against something that sent Lan's pelvis arching off the bed and volleys of hot liquid into his throat. He didn't know if the scream was in his head or his ears because just for a split second he felt a spike of arousal in his mind and groin, so intense that he could hear music crashing inside his skull. Almost without any warning his own climax hit and his vision went white for a second as he was lost in sensation, delicious pulses that faded in intensity until he collapsed into the puddles of his own ejaculate, barely able to move.

The music faded and the darkness crept back into his vision, and he dragged his tingling body back up and rested against Lan's heaving chest, hauling breaths of air into his lungs as the delicious afterglow spread around his body like liquid sugar. Lan's skin was covered in a faint sheen of sweat. He reached for Prez's hands and kissed his fingertips, then pulled him close.

"What was
that
?" Prez asked, when he could talk again.

Lan's fingers tangled idly in his hair. "I was intending to ask you the same question," he said. "What did you touch? It was...
aah
. I lack the vocabulary to articulate it."

"You know all the features of the AutoNav system but not your own anatomy?" Prez smiled and spread his hand out over Lan's heart, feeling the beats start to slow. He ran his tongue around his lips and rested his head on Lan's shoulder.

"Mm." Lan sounded sleepy. "I will look at a diagram in the morning."

"Is that your language? The music?"

"I do not know how it sounds to you. It is not music. It is my mind, my feelings. Most pleasure is in the mind. But you are not a telepath. You will have to make do with my body."

Prez was silent for a while, smiling in the darkness. Feeling the warm body beside him, not going anywhere. No money to hand over, quibbling about torn bed sheets, mind racing ahead to what needed doing on the ship. It was nice. More than
nice
, it was... perfect. "I think," he said eventually, "I can
make do
just fine."