Outside In (11 page)

It had happened kind of like this with Tylah, a year before. Jack had taken her there to ask her if she'd go out with him. Her reply was pretty much guaranteed. She'd overdosed him with signals. So many messengers had approached him, letting him know she was up for it. That she was keen.

But this, this was different. His heart was on a swing. This time, he wasn't just going through the motions.

Since he'd met up with Jordan that first day at the flats, something had started to shift between them. They had been friends before, but not really that close. Just part of a group.

But all those Wednesdays had added up to a major change. Jack had started seeing Jordan so differently. He'd seen the sadness she tried to hide, seen it tucked away in her brown eyes. He'd seen her determination to tough out her parents' breaking up. And she was strong. Really strong on the outside, at least.

But Jack knew too well what she was going through. He'd wondered if he could help her. Hadn't come up with much, except just to be there. All those nights as he lay in bed, staring out of his tiny window, a little frame that included a couple of stars, he thought about her. Thought about her brown eyes with secrets behind them. Thought about the shake of her head, her dark hair as it settled around her shoulders. Thought about her.

He hadn't been joking in drama class, though everyone just assumed he was. He really wanted to be Jordan's partner in the trust exercise. He'd sort of blocked out the teacher's instructions to choose someone the same size.

He just wanted to catch her.

‘Where are you taking me, Jack Delanty?' she asked.

Her tone was casual. Jordan was good at casual. It made Jack's heart pound.

He held a tree branch up so that she could pass through. When she looked back at him, her eyebrows were raised. It was a Jordan question mark. He knew that now. She had a whole language without the words. Jack was a beginner, just learning to translate.

There was a scratch on her calf, rising out of her white sock. Her legs were tanned and smooth. Jack had an urge to touch the scratch. He didn't.

‘Um, nearly there.'

Last night, looking out through the window into the night sky, he'd made a plan. He'd barely slept. He wasn't shy … then. He was just sure. He would take Jordan down to the ‘love nest'. He would ask her to be his girlfriend. She would say yes. He would kiss her.

It seemed so simple.

‘Oh, I've
heard
about this place. The “love nest'',' she said. Jack wasn't sure what to make of her tone. ‘Isn't this where you took Tylah? To ask her to go out with you?'

Jack's swinging heart smacked down on the gravel.

This was different. So different. Tylah was hot, but that was about all. She was tall and blonde, and they'd gone out for a while. But he'd never felt like this about Tylah. She was nice enough, but there wasn't a lot between them. When Jack broke up with her, she had cried. He'd tried to feel it.

Tylah had only danced around his senses. Jordan had
invaded
them.

What an idiot he was. Jordan thought he was on repeat. What had he been thinking, letting the night stars hatch such a crap plan, such an unoriginal one?

God, but Jordan was
difficult
. It would have been much easier if she were someone like Sam's Meredith. Lucky Sam hadn't had to go through anything like this. Meredith had just walked over and kissed him in front of everyone. And that was it. They were together. The thought of Jordan bolting over and kissing
him
was just funny. Jack didn't know much, but he did know that
that
would never happen.

They arrived. The ‘love nest' was littered with cigarette butts. Discarded cans. Jack felt responsible for every butt, every can. What a stuffed place to bring her.

Jordan crouched down. She picked up an empty can. Snapped off the ring and handed it to him.

‘For you, Jack,' she said.

As he took the ring, part of him wanted to laugh. But he didn't know with Jordan whether it was a joke. Or whether she was serious. Or whether it was both. He wasn't up to translating this.

There was a pause. A long pause. Jack wondered how to fill it.

‘If you were going to ask me a question,' Jordan said, and she was looking him right in the eye, she was holding his gaze for a long time, much longer than ten seconds, ‘the answer would be … yes.'

Jack smiled. Breathed. Felt his heart rising again. He pulled a ring from another empty can. He took her hand, and pulled her closer to put it on her finger.

She laughed. Leant into him. He could feel her breath on his neck.

‘Let's just say I've asked the question,' he said.

‘Let's just say I've answered it.'

The kiss just seemed to happen, as if it was always going to happen. As though it was always going to be that good. With Tylah it had been mechanics. Lips here, hands there, and of course Jack's body had responded.

But not like this.

Never like this.

Even as the referee tossed the ball in the air for a jump, Jack wasn't quite there. He smelled her shampoo. He wrapped his arms around her, felt her lean back against his chest. He had to slam dunk his thoughts out of his body. Put his body back into the game.

Jordan shifted on the bench seat. She rustled around in her bag and pulled out an apple. Threw him one half-smile. A half-smile with more force than any of the kisses Tylah used to blow him when he played.

Jack recognised his old self, his Jordan-less self, in Bronco. Bronco took position in the key just behind him. Jack saw his determination. His eyes squinted in concentration. Hands down low, and a bounce pass that Jack wasn't expecting. A pivot and a goal, and Bronco was already running up the court so that his defence could be as effective as his offence.

Jack shook his head. He should have read the play. Should have predicted.

Coach made the time-out sign. He called all the players over, but it was only Jack he spoke to.

‘You've got to focus, Jack. The scout's just over there, and you're not on your game. You've been up for three rebounds against Bronco, and he's got two of them.'

Jack bit his lip. He took a swig from his drink bottle, and wiped the sweat from his forehead on his towel. Coach pulled him away from everyone else at the bench. He put his hand on Jack's shoulder and glanced over towards Jordan.

‘Look, mate. She's a lovely girl, and I can see why you're smitten. But there's a time for everything.
This
time is for impressing the scout, for basketball. This is what we've been training so hard for. I
know
you're ready for this, you just have to prove it to him.'

Couch glanced at the scout and then back at Jack. He smiled and gave Jack a wink. ‘I think I'm going to send Jordan on a couple of errands. Pam just might need some help cutting up the oranges, OK?'

Coach was right. The scout from the NBL sat on the opposite bench, taking notes, choosing kids to train with the elite squad, the state squad. This was a showcase game and Jack was
supposed
to be showing. He was playing as though he didn't want it bad, didn't
need
to make the state team. It wasn't true.

He needed it.

Jack had put in time, energy, effort. He'd worked so hard, and coach had even given him basketball homework to brush up on his skills. The game was his life. It had been his shrink when his parents had split. A holiday from all the crap that life dished out. Basketball was rules instead of chaos. It had kept him sane.

The ref blew the whistle. Jack adjusted the bandage around his hamstring, injury number four this season, and ran back onto the court. He glanced up at the bench, and Jordan had gone.

Tizza, Coach's son, dribbled up the court. He was small but agile. Protective of the ball as it went under his leg, and he changed direction so that, suddenly, he had no defender.

It was a good time for Jack to take his place under the key. He used his three seconds. He caught the ball, and put it up for a goal.

Much better.

Jack took a quick look at the scout, scribbling away. He wondered whether he was writing about Tizza, or Bronco. Or him.

It wasn't until the end of the match that Jordan walked in. She was sipping a soft drink through a straw. Jack saw Coach giving her the thumbs-up, saw the grin she shot back at him.

It was lucky he'd sent her away for a bit. Because Jack was definitely two-timing his sport.

And it felt amazing.

‘No wonder your coach didn't want me watching you,
distracting
you,' Jordan said. ‘You're like a superhero out there. It's all “Go, Jack! Rebound, Jack! Shoot, Jack!” I felt like Lois Lane or something, watching you from my hidey-hole in the canteen. Clark, are you listening?'

Jack rolled his eyes. This was so Jordan, giving out a compliment with a backhand. Super Jack. Super Jock. Was that all he was?

He wanted her in a headlock.

He wanted her.

The night air hit his sweaty singlet. It was freezing. Jack put on his hoody.

‘It's not like that, Jordan. We're a team.'

‘Team Delanty,' she stirred.

She could make him feel like there was no right way to answer.

She could make him feel.

As they walked, he put his hand under her sweater. Icy hand against warm waist. Jordan pressed his hand over the fabric, choosing not to comment about how cold he was. What she chose
not
to say was as fascinating as anything she actually said. With Tylah, conversation had been a matter of waiting, switching onto auto-pilot while she went on about stuff, and, honestly, he always knew where she was heading. She was so … obvious. Jordan was so
not
.

‘How keen do you think Sam is? On Moo, I mean?' she asked, pulling away from him and walking backwards.

It was weird. Jordan wasn't a gossipy type girl. It seemed like a more Tylah-ish thing to say. But with Jordan there was probably some actual, real reason to ask.

‘Um, pretty keen, I think,' he offered.

Jordan looked serious. Jack loved the way she tilted her head to the side when she was thinking hard. Jack wished he could see inside her head. To figure out what was going on in there. But he couldn't even guess at this.

‘Moo isn't as tough as she seems,' Jordan said quietly. ‘Everyone just thinks she is. Sam had better really like her, cos she's been through a lot, you know?'

‘Not really,' Jack admitted.

‘It's to do with her mum leaving. She tried to explain it to me and Lee and Cec, after I said something hurtful …' Jordan's voice drifted off.

Whatever it was that Jordan had said, Jack could tell he wasn't going to find out.

‘Anyway,' continued Jordan, ‘she sort of made up some strategies to help her cope, and being funny all the time is one of them. It's something she does to sort of protect herself. Kind of like doing the opposite thing to what she wants to do. I kind of get it, cos we all do that sometimes, hey?'

Jordan stood there, waiting for a response. Jack couldn't figure one out.

‘Jack, what does Sam say about Moo?'

Jack grimaced. He felt like the crappiest friend in the universe. Here was Jordan, analysing all this stuff about
her
friend, and he hadn't even had a serious conversation with Sam about Meredith. Jack had stirred him a couple of times. But he definitely hadn't
analysed
it.

Sometimes he was bloody hopeless. Sam had given him advice about Jordan. He understood how things were with Jack's dad, and he'd never told
anyone
about it. He deserved something back.

Basketball was easier than all this.

‘Don't worry about it, Jack,' Jordan said. ‘Just ask him how he feels sometime, OK? Oh, and Dad wants you to come over for tea next Wednesday.'

Jack stared at his strange,
lovely
girlfriend, his
distraction
. He pushed her away.