Outview (17 page)

“Talk about schizophrenic.”

Spencer smiled. “We can cross-communicate
between all these different existences and even knowingly, but usually
unknowingly, interact with one of our other selves. It can be more than the
mind can handle. Your dad’s soul can be with you, talk to me, watch over
Dustin, follow every moment of your mother’s grieving struggles and live forty
other lives all at the exact same time.”

“So he could be a cab driver in New York, a
rice farmer in Thailand, a housewife in London and a homeless person somewhere
else, all right now?”

“Yes,” he said. “And guiding you from the
other side without any of those incarnations knowing about any of it.”

I couldn’t wait to tell Amber. “Speaking of
all these lifetimes, you said you were going to show me how to control the Outviews
so I wasn’t always dying.”

“We’ll meet back here again on Friday.
It’ll have to wait until then.”

“No, I can’t take many more deaths.”

“Okay, it’s a huge topic, but I’ll tell you
now how you can avoid that. Whenever you feel you’re about to enter a death, in
your mind just turn around sharply.”

“That sounds pretty simple.”

“It’s not. It can be quite messy, but at
least it should let you stay away from the deaths until we have time to go into
it more. Explaining the time navigational aspects of astral traveling within
the split realities of the multi-dimensional, soul-connected universe is time consuming.”

I looked up at him, then away. “Whatever.”

“We’ve just touched on some things, abilities
that will help you manage the dilemma you’re in. There is so much more to
explore. Eventually, you’ll be able to teach Kyle, Linh, Dustin, Rose and many
others who are part of the wave. You are like the moon. As you do things that
affect the wave, everyone on the planet will feel the effects of the tide.”

“I can’t believe how much I’ve learned
today.”

“Don’t let your newly awakened abilities
fool you. There are enormous powers swirling around in the world. You’re
nothing near invincible, Nate. You need to practice avoidance, not
confrontation.”

“Believe me, I don’t feel invincible.”

“Maybe not on this beach with me while all
of this is still so new, but there will be times soon when you’re with your
friends or your mother, and you feel like your abilities can allow you to do
anything, like you’re a god. Watch for those thoughts and banish them. They
will bring more trouble than you can dream. You are not a god, just a small
fraction, incomplete without the rest of us. I know you think that you’ll never
feel that, but you will, and that’s why you must spend the night alone in the
woods. It will give you perspective. And when those feelings come, then you
will have this night as part of you. It’ll give you something to draw from to
stave off the erupting ego.”

“Are you crazy? I’m not spending the night
alone
in the woods. It’s not safe. And it’s totally unnecessary, I’m not like that.”
I couldn’t believe he really wanted me to stay in the forest overnight!

“Nate, this is no small thing. I told you
earlier today that this is an epic battle between good and evil. What I’m
talking about is the technology of man with all its materialism and greed
suppressing the power of our souls. It can go either way at this point. The
numbers are on their side, in the short term anyway, or at least in this
dimension. Neither side is organized in the battle, neither side acknowledges
the war, yet it
is
happening.”

“What’s that got to do with me sleeping in
the woods?”

“Your dad asked me to help you. I’m asking
you to do this. You need to do this.”

He had shown me so much. I would have done
anything he asked. I just needed to contain my fear. “Okay, Spencer.”

“Thank you,” he said. “Then it’s time. You need
to spend the night in the trees and not on the beach.”

“What if I need you before Friday?”

“Trust the universe.”

“What am I supposed to do tonight?”

“Make it to sunrise.”

“Am I going to?”

“You need to talk to your guides. Ask for
their help and protection. Tell them you’re ready. They will help you.”

“What about a tent, sleeping bag, food?”

He shook his head.

“Seriously?”

“You won’t need them.”

“And where will you be?”

“Somewhere else. You will not need me
either.”

“Wait, I saw a mountain lion in the woods
on the way down,” I said panicked.

“Remember, animals are open.”

“So they won’t hurt me.”

“I didn’t say that. A mountain lion is
still a mountain lion and will eat you if it needs to. I’m just saying that
you’re not defenseless against the animal instinct. There is more to it than
that.”

“There’s always more to everything it
seems.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

“So how do I stop the mountain lion or
bears or whatever else from eating me?”

“Get that channel clear and keep calm. You
should feel more at home and safer the deeper you are in nature. It will always
be like that. Besides, the lions and bears will be the
least
of your
worries tonight.”

25

“So this is goodbye until we meet again
Friday,” he said.

“You’re leaving now? I won’t even see you
in the morning?”

“I’m hungry. I need to go get a good warm
dinner.” He laughed.

“No, really, I’m nervous about all this.”

“You aren’t scared?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m scared. Falling-off-a-cliff kind
of scared.”

“The only way you’ll get into trouble is if
you let that fear control you.”

“How the hell do I avoid it?”

“I can’t teach you that. You have to figure
it out. The trees are kind,” he said pointing toward the forest.

I looked up at the imposing verdant canvas
stretching along the cliff as far down the coast as I could see in either
direction and headed in. The sun was already touching the ocean. I had maybe an
hour of twilight left.

The trees did look gentle and ancient, wise
giants protecting the coast. Moss covered lower trunks, fallen trees, rocks,
everything. I crouched on the narrow trail, touching and reading the trees that
bordered it, using my new Vising ability, watching who had come and gone over
the days, months, and years before, not knowing when was when. I smiled, seeing
Kyle and Linh as they had passed earlier.

Spencer had suggested heading north up the
coast, so I navigated through thick undergrowth until darkness stole the last
visibility. There was a trace of moonlight, but almost none filtered into the
forest, and my sight was limited to less than three feet. “What am I doing?” I
thought.  It had been around seventy degrees during the day, but nighttime
temperatures plummet to the low forties. There would be total darkness for more
than nine hours. The clock was ticking. I had hiking boots, long pants, a
T-shirt, and a fleece but was starting to feel the chill; there would be no
sleep.

The coyotes announced their presence first,
singing their manic songs. There were other animal noises and bug sounds I
didn’t recognize, didn’t want to know. I tried to meditate to fight the growing
tension and fear, and I reminded myself to breathe. “Go to the beach,” I
whispered, the rumble of waves soothed me. Just walk downhill. “Was it high
tide or low?” I wondered. No, Spencer was adamant that this was needed. He had
said something poetic about it Linh would like; what was it? “You need a dark
night of the soul.”

“It couldn’t be much darker,” I thought.

Then I remembered his parting advice, “Talk
to your guides, stay in the trees.”

“Guides, I’m unsure how to do this, so I’m
going to assume you can hear me. I’m just going to say that I need help. I’m
scared. I’ve camped and hiked a lot, but staying out here all night alone with
no light is kind of different. Really very different.” Then it hit me. I had a
light, the one from that morning. I pulled the pack off my back, unzipped the
outside pocket and “Yes! Let there be light!” I surveyed the area. It gave an
extra ten feet but when turned off, nothing. It was five minutes before my eyes
adjusted again, so I pledged to use the light only for emergencies.

“Back to you, Guides. Maybe you reminded me
about my light. I sure would have felt stupid finding it tomorrow. Anyway, as I
was saying, anything you can do to help me get through this night would be great.
But I also could use help getting Dustin out and finding the guy who killed my
dad. And you probably know I really need the most help figuring out how to do
all this cool stuff Spencer has been teaching me or reminding me or whatever. I
don’t want to blow it. I really think he might be wrong about me being one of
the seven. Maybe he just said that to give me some extra confidence because I
just don’t think I’m smart enough to do all this.” I waited for an answer.
Nothing came.

My senses fell into crisis, a stunning
feeling of fire grabbing, so hot, I tore at my fleece, wanting it off. A
terrible haunting noise broke the night, drums echoed through the woods, loud,
ceremonial, driving. I was running again, stumbling and dodging trees. What was
this punishment? How many lifetimes have ended with me being chased to my
death? Was it now or long ago? No way to know, I just had to run. Pursuers were
closing in. Voices ordered a strategy to trap me. It was blisteringly hot, my
skin slick with sweat. Running. Running. Why weren’t they shooting? The mob was
so close now. Torches appeared in front of me. More came from the sides. I was
surrounded. Surely they were about to kill me.

The heat stifled my thoughts. A desperate
attempt at escape occurred in my last wisp of consciousness. In case this was a
past life and not the present, I tried Spencer’s method of avoiding death in Outviews.
I consciously and abruptly turned around. Instantly, moving back several years
earlier in that life, I was younger and hiding in a tree. It was no longer
night in the Outview; instead, the warmth of a balmy morning felt cool after
the burning heat from before.

Seeing my hands holding onto the branches,
dark and dry, I was African. Slave traders had just captured my parents, who
were being loaded--chained and shackled--into wagons; a large ship waited in
the distance. Although it was probably sometime in the 1700s, the devastation
was total, as if they had taken Dustin and my mother. The modern-day me understood
what awaited my African parents at the end of their voyage on the slave ship,
if they were unfortunate enough to survive. The “me” in the tree just knew his
parents were gone forever; it was a death.

A deer jumped over me so close that its
hoof grazed my shoulder. I was no longer in the tree but back in modern-day
Oregon. Before I had time to figure out why, the mountain lion was there. It
stopped from its pursuit of the deer and faced me. I could see it from the
outer limits of my vision, which was now maybe ten feet. I thought of the light
in my pocket. It growled and shifted its weight. Our eyes locked. There wasn’t
much time. I couldn’t outrun it, and climbing a tree to escape a cat is not an
option. Suppressing panic became harder each second. Could I Gogen an animal, maybe
a big log, a rock? Get it between us? No, too risky. I’d have to divert my
attention for too long. Why would Spencer put me in this position? What had he
said? Clear the channel and keep calm. He said I should feel safer in nature.
The cat was moving now, a few feet to my left, stalking me. I kept my eyes on
it and began to speak softly.

“I’m not afraid, you’re not my enemy.” It
sounded corny and I’m not sure where it came from, but at least I was doing
something.

It screamed as if to say, “You
are
afraid.”

“I’m not sure how to end this standoff. I’m
only here for a night. This is your home. May I stay here tonight?”

It leaped toward me. In the millisecond I
had, my only thought was, move. The mountain lion landed at least six feet to
my right. Either I moved it or I moved. I had no idea which. Without stopping
it turned and came again at full charge, screaming.

“Stop!” I yelled. And it did. What now?

It growled.

Something pushed me to walk toward it.
There was no time to think of alternatives. I kept eye contact as I approached.
With trembling hands, I slowly reached behind its ears and petted the big cat,
sensing it was a female. Our eyes were just inches apart now and hers suddenly
closed. When they opened the cougar screamed right in my face. She moved and through
the momentum or some other force, my hand gripped the fur behind her ears
flinging me around onto her back. I locked my legs around her and used all my
strength to hang on as she went tearing into the blackness. I managed to get
one arm around her neck. My vision adjusted just as we were sailing across a
wide, deep ravine thirty feet in the air. Her speed was shocking. I’d ridden on
a motorcycle once with a friend of Dustin’s and this was similar. The lion was
silent as she navigated the jungle, her muscles tensed and flexed,
indescribably pure power. We came to a cliff wall, the first pause since my
ride began ten minutes earlier. My thoughts caught up as I was about to get off
she leaped straight up onto a ledge and was running again. I could now see about
fifty feet ahead and the ground was less steep.