Over You (24 page)

“I see you found the vases,” Alex said.

“Well, half of them at least.”

“What do you mean?”

Jessica told him how she had fallen down the stairs and broken the other box of vases.

A look a concern filled his face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m a little sore, but I’ll be fine. I mostly just feel bad about breaking my aunt’s vases.”

“I would imagine she’d be more worried about you than her vases.”

“I know. But still.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me, too.” Jessica remembered how Kyle had raced to her side, then carried her to her bedroom, and felt a pulse of heat rush through her. Glancing at Alex, she felt a pinprick of guilt at thinking about Kyle when she was with Alex.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked.

“Nothing,” she said quickly.
 

Alex moved toward her and gathered her into his arms. “I love you so much, Jessica.”

She dragged her thoughts away from Kyle and focused on Alex.
Should I tell him now that I will marry him?
She couldn’t quite bring herself to say the words. “I love you too,” she murmured instead, willing herself to love him like he loved her.

He pulled away and gazed into her eyes before gently pressing his lips to hers. As she allowed him to kiss her, Kyle’s face came to mind, unbidden, and Jessica sank into Alex’s arms, as she imagined Kyle kissing her.
What am I doing? I should
not
be thinking about Kyle.
Flustered by the lack of control she seemed to have over her thoughts, she gently pushed Alex away.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, a look of confusion on his face.

“No,” Jessica stammered. “I just, I thought I heard something.”

“Oh.” Alex paused, listening. “I don’t hear anything.”

“I guess I imagined it.” She laughed. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m starved.”

“Okay.” Alex leaned in for a quick kiss. “Let’s go.”

As they entered the restaurant, Jessica glanced at all the other patrons, making sure this wasn’t the place Kyle had taken Melanie to propose. He was nowhere in sight.
 

When Jessica and Alex were seated and had ordered, Alex took Jessica’s left hand. “I see you’re wearing the ring.”

She smiled, knowing this was the perfect time to tell him she would marry him. But instead she found herself saying, “I don’t want to lose it. It’s so beautiful.”

Alex’s smiled dimmed slightly at her words, although he kept hold of her hand. They chatted about inconsequential things until their food came. Jessica considered telling him about the letters, but couldn’t take him not believing her either and decided to not bring it up. As they ate, he tried to engage her in conversation, but her mind kept imagining the scene being played out at some other restaurant. Kyle proposing. Melanie radiant with joy as she accepted. The two of them telling their little girl the wonderful news, and then the three of them being together, a family.

“I want to marry you,” Jessica blurted, interrupting a story Alex had been telling.

He looked stunned by her sudden answer, but he quickly recovered. “That’s fantastic!” He reached across the table and took both of her hands, and gazed into her eyes. “I’m going to make you so happy.”

Jessica smiled in return. “I’ll make you happy too.” At the look of pure joy on Alex’s face, she felt better about her decision. But she couldn’t deny that a small part of her felt like it was dying.

For the rest of the meal Alex talked about their wedding plans and Jessica tried to match his enthusiasm. But the more they talked about getting married, the more she found herself doubting her decision. By the time they left the restaurant, Jessica was forcing brightness into her voice as they talked about their future.

“I thought it might be fun to go miniature golfing tonight,” Alex said as he helped her into his car.”

Though she now doubted her decision to accept his proposal, she
had
accepted it and felt it would be selfish to turn down his offer. “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

Sudden concern filled his face. “Your back’s not too sore, is it?”
 

That would be the perfect excuse to go home, Jessica thought. But her back felt fine and she decided that it would actually be fun to play miniature golf. “No, it feels okay.”

“Good.”

As they went through all the obstacles in the course, Jessica found herself having a great time. We do have fun together, she thought. But is it enough to justify marriage?

By the time they finished she was tired and ready to go home. When they arrived at her aunt’s house, Alex walked her to the door.

“I had a great time with you tonight, Alex.”
 

“Me, too.” He wrapped his arms around her. “I always have fun when I’m with you.”

He pressed his lips to hers and she kissed him back. As they kissed, she found herself analyzing the moment, trying to decide if she felt true passion for him or if she was just going through the motions. When she was honest with herself she admitted it was difficult to generate a spark.

He pulled away. “How about I keep you company this evening?”

Slight panic filled her mind. So uncertain about her feelings, she wasn’t prepared to be intimate with him. “I’m really tired, and my back’s pretty sore.” At the obvious disappointment on his face, she said, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” he said, though his expression seemed to say otherwise. “Are you available tomorrow?”

“Sure, I think I can squeeze you in.” She said it with a smile in her voice, but inside she knew she wasn’t anticipating every moment with him like he seemed to be with her.

“Great. I’ll come by around noon.”

They said their good-byes and she went up to her bedroom. Hudson was curled up against her pillow, but briefly opened one eye when she came in the room. Jessica scooped him up and held him in front of her. “I did it, big guy. I said yes.”

He purred at the attention and Jessica set him on the bed, then stroked his back.

“Alex is thrilled.” She stared at the wall. “But to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel.” She looked back at Hudson. “Kyle and Melanie are probably celebrating their engagement right now.” Saying the words out loud brought a pain to Jessica’s heart and she had to close her eyes for a minute to gain control of her emotions. “But I’m going to be happy too. Right?”

Hudson meowed, then jumped off the bed and walked out of the room. He paused in the doorway and looked at her.

“Do you need some food?” Jessica followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen where she saw his empty bowl. After placing a can of cat food into his bowl, she gazed at all the flowers Alex had brought over the last few days. She tried to imagine what their relationship would be like in five years, in ten, in twenty. As she imagined herself with him for all those years, mild panic crept up her throat. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
What have I done?
Her gaze darted around the room as she thought about the implications of accepting Alex’s proposal. I’ve just made him The One. But is he? Is he the one for me? She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Is this just new engagement jitters, or true buyer’s remorse? Maybe I need to give myself a little time to adjust to the idea that I’m engaged to Alex. Feeling slightly better, she made herself a mug of hot chocolate and carried it up to her room.
 

She didn’t sleep well that night, tossing and turning and having dreams of Douglas telling her to leave the past behind, and then Douglas morphing into Alex. Early the next morning she gave up on sleeping and got ready for the day. In the sunroom, she worked on her laptop for an hour or so until it was the time that Kyle normally arrived.
 

Knowing that he would be newly engaged, she dreaded facing him—especially now that she was having so many doubts about her own engagement. Punctual as usual, he knocked on the door at eight o’clock. Arranging a pleasant expression on her face, she opened the door.

“Good morning, Jessica.”

Just as she had expected, he seemed happier than usual. She wondered if she should congratulate him now or wait for him to break the news. Though she didn’t want to hear his news at all, she decided she should let him be the one to tell her. “Hi, Kyle.” Jessica held the door open so he could come inside.

“How’s the girl detective today? Are you still digging into Douglas’s parentage?”

“What do you care?” she asked, irritated that he his life was going so well while hers was such a mess.

“Don’t you have better things to do with your time?”

Her irritation turned to fury. “Don’t try to tell me what to do.”

“I’m not telling you what to do.” He paused. “What does your fiancé think about your new role as detective?”

Jessica felt her heart skip a beat as she realized that Alex really was her fiancé now. “He supports me completely,” she lied.

“He’s not worried about you getting yourself into trouble?”

“Why should he be? I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

He put his hands up as if to ward off an attack. “Okay, okay. I give up. Do what you want.”

“I will.” She stared at him, daring him to say more.
 

He stood there for a moment, then he glanced at her engagement ring before looking back at her. “Well, I guess I’ll get started.”
 

Jessica nodded but didn’t respond. She watched him go up the stairs, then she went back in to the sunroom and stared at the programming code on her screen as she replayed Kyle’s comments about her being a detective. But when she thought about him saying she had better things to do with her time, she felt fury boiling inside her again.
How dare he try to suggest to me what I should or shouldn’t do with my time?
His comments spurred her on to find out whatever she could about William and Teal and Douglas.

She found she couldn’t focus on her programming project after that, and as soon as the library opened, she headed over. The librarian helped her find the microfiche for the general time William had died and Jessica searched until she came across the date. She quickly did the math and felt her heart skip a beat when she realized William had died the day after Douglas turned eighteen.

How odd. I wonder how he died.

The obituary didn’t talk about a cause of death, but when Jessica searched the newspaper on the days surrounding William’s death, she came across a brief mention that a former postal worker, William Donohoe, had been found dead in his house, apparently having fallen down the stairs. The death was ruled accidental.

Jessica reread the paragraph, her eyebrows drawn together in concentration. Had William had the opportunity to tell Douglas that he was his father? If so, how had Douglas reacted when he found out the truth? He certainly doesn’t want the truth to come to light now, so I can’t imagine he was happy about it then. Jessica frowned as the implications filled her mind. Could there be a connection between William’s death and Douglas potentially finding out the truth?

She printed a copy of the obituary and the mention of how William died, then drove to the long-term care facility to see her aunt.

“So did you give Alex an answer?” Ellen asked once she and Jessica were walking through the garden.

Jessica grimaced. “As a matter of fact, I did.”

“By the expression on your face I’d guess you said no. But you’re still wearing that lovely engagement ring.”

“Oh, Ellen. Last night I told him I’d marry him. But now I think I made a mistake.”

“Why do you say that? Are you still hoping you and Kyle might get back together?”

“No. I’m pretty sure he and Melanie got engaged last night.”

“Oh? Did he tell you that?”

“No. I just overheard them talking and it sounded like he was about to propose.”

“I see. Then why do you doubt your decision to agree to marry Alex?”

“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I guess I just can’t see myself with him for the rest of my life.”

Ellen stopped and turned to face Jessica. “Well, then you should definitely break it off. Marriage is a big commitment, and it wouldn’t be fair to either one of you if you married him when you’re not really committed to him.”

“Of course you’re right. Like usual.” Jessica smiled at her aunt, who winked at her. “But I guess in the back of my mind I’m wondering if I’ll have another opportunity. I mean, it’s been five years since Kyle left me. It could be another five years or longer before I find someone else. And who’s to say this future man would want to marry me?”
 

“Oh, Jessica. Listen to yourself. You’re a strong, independent woman. There’s no reason for you to settle for a man you’re not deeply in love with, just because you’re afraid of being alone. You never know what’s around the corner.”

Jessica digested her aunt’s words.

“Besides, do you want to end up like Teal Harrington?”

Jessica looked at her aunt sharply. “What do you mean?”

“From the letters, it sounded like she married her husband for all the wrong reasons, and then when she met her true love, she wasn’t available and she ended up having an affair and then having this child, and who knows what heartache she endured because of her mistakes.”

“Wow. I hadn’t thought about that.”

“You need to think long and hard about where you see yourself, and who you see yourself with, in the next five to ten years.”

“Thank you, Ellen. That really helps.”

Ellen began walking again and Jessica walked alongside her. “Now speaking of Teal Harrington, have there been any new developments since you reported the letters stolen?”

Not wanting to worry her aunt, she wondered if she should tell her about her suspicions regarding William’s death and Douglas’s possible involvement. But her aunt always had such sound advice, and she needed to see if Ellen thought Jessica was just wildly speculating, or if it could be possible. “I actually did find out something interesting today.”

Ellen looked at Jessica, her eyebrows raised. “Oh?”

Jessica smiled despite herself when she saw the enthusiasm on her aunt’s face. “Yes. It turns out that William died the day after Douglas turned eighteen.”