Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (14 page)

She took a final, cleansing, ragged
breath.

“I’m okay,” she said in a wispy voice,
looking at Sean, who was shutting the door and putting one
protective arm around her.

His handsome face was screwed up in worry.
He looked at the front seat and back.

“I’m okay,” Krista said again. “I didn’t
mean to interrupt your date. I’m sorry. I just panicked is all. I’m
fine, really.”

The car was moving. Not speeding, but
definitely headed toward home. The sooner she made it to her bed
the better.

“She’s my sister,” Sean said, his deep voice
next to her ear.

He didn’t owe her that explanation. For last
night he should have drawn it out, tortured her with it, but she
was thankful he didn’t.

It also made sense now that she thought
about it. Same cheekbones, same noble features, same vivid eyes
even though a different color.

Krista’s mind slid from that thought and
settled, instead, on him. She gladly took the warmth his body was
offering. She was aware of his soft breath, feeling his arms around
her, knowing that he must have gotten her from that post. He might
be all wrong for her romantically, but she had come to depend on
him. Her trust in him was solid, and it felt good. Being with him
felt good.

She closed her eyes and focused on his
voice, not moving from his grasp. “She’s here from Arizona. She
works for a magazine and wanted to write about the Folsom Street
Fair. I said I would go with her...”

He seemed like he wanted to say something
else, but fell silent.

They rode the rest of the way in silence,
his arms never loosening their grip, his face never far from hers.
Sean’s body heat was like an electric blanket on a snowy night. His
warm breath on her ear made her shiver. She snuggled closer.

Too soon the car slowed and stopped. While
Krista knew this would have to end sometime, that she would have to
go back to reality, she didn’t want it to happen this soon.

“Do you want company for a while?” he asked
quietly.

Grateful, she said, “Yes, please.”

Sean basically unrolled Krista from the car,
allowing her to cling to him. He said goodbye to his sister, then
shepherded Krista in front of him into the house.

“Thanks for grabbing me,” Krista said in a
small voice. “I don’t know what possessed me to do that. I am not a
pain type of girl.”

“Overcoming the fear of the past is a noble
idea. I think it was the execution that was the issue.” Sean slid
next to her on the couch.

He left a little distance between their
bodies so she would be comfortable. Krista could tell he didn’t
want to. She also didn’t need him to. She moved toward him and he
responded by immediately putting his arms around her.

Then came dawning. “Wait--how did you know
about my past?”

“Kate filled me in somewhat.”

“What?
Why?”

“I think she was worried about you.”

But why would she tell him? She had kept the
worst of it from even Jasmine. And Kate only knew because she was
Krista’s roommate in college, and actually had to save her a couple
times when she walked into a horror scene.

Why would she spill to Krista’s almost boss
and the man she was struggling to keep at arm‘s length? The very
man she told Krista to stay away from.

“I don’t think she knew the half of it,
though. Or at least she didn’t tell me...” Sean said somberly,
cutting through Krista’s mental tirade.

She looked up to meet his worried eyes. His
perfect face was a mask of sorrow and concern. Krista felt the last
of her resolve weaken, letting tears come to her eyes in a
gush.

No, Kate didn’t know the half of it. No one
did.

Except, probably, Jim’s other
girlfriends.

Before she knew what was happening, the
memories of the past were tumbling out of her mouth, one pile of
misery at a time. The mornings she woke up tied to the bed,
recoiling from a maddened, lust-filled Jim holding some sexual
weapon he wanted to try. To the nights she was drugged and misused
for the fun of it. To the slaps and occasional punches to places on
her body easily covered up.

Then to the constant emotional pain. To the
lies, the deceit. Telling her she wasn’t pretty enough. Making
excuses for her in public. Leaving parties with other girls.
Flirting in front of her. Hushing her when she tried to speak.
Corralling and cornering her spirit until she no longer had one of
her own.

Then how it all started.
The nice words. The charm. The practiced lines. He was a dangerous
boy--daring, attractive,
irresistible
. He said nice things,
he bought her dinners, he took her out, he paid attention to her
like no one ever had before. She still had her head about her when
she realized he was a womanizer. No problem, she thought,
I can change him
.

When things went horribly wrong, when
reality set in, she was already lost.

She told Sean how she finally felt something
snap when she walked in on him with another woman. It wasn’t a bad
break, but a good one. A dawning. An awakening. It finally prompted
her to take a stand and she left him. She got beat for it, of
course, but that didn’t stop her resolve. This time, it only
strengthened it.

Her calling the cops after he was through
abusing her sent a message.

Walking away was the proudest moment in her
life so far. It gave her strength.

When she was done she felt purged. She
actually felt better for the first time in a long time. All the
dank, dark places were opened up to allow air and sunlight in. They
were still musty, scary places, but now, with effort, they could
heal. She wasn’t the first to endure such treatment, and she wasn’t
the only one to get away, but it didn’t change the glory of the
achievement.

In the sudden quiet of the room, Sean, in a
quiet, strangled voice, said, “I didn’t realize.” He paused for a
second to get his bearings. “I may not have always been the perfect
gentleman, and I certainly have been a downright pig on a few
occasions, but I have never made a woman suffer. I have never hurt
a woman in a way that--” his words cut off in a hitch. His arm
convulsed protectively.

“You can trust me Krista.
Friends, lovers, enemies--you can always trust me. I would
never
hurt you like
that. Never use you and discard you. I would like to think I have
learned a few things over the years. I would like to think I have
grown up a little. Not all the way, but...” He gave a frustrated
sigh.

“I know you are mostly trustworthy, Sean. I
just didn’t want to get steamrolled by the gorgeous salesman who
could have any girl he wanted. Sue me.”

He was quiet for a long moment. Krista
looked up into the pregnant silence and met his troubled eyes. She
got a jolt of emotion she couldn’t place, which surprisingly didn’t
reside in her groin, before his sensuous lips curved up into a
sardonic smile. “I never was able to keep them, though, despite
what you might think. Womanizers, as you insist on calling me, are
able to get ‘em naked, but keeping ‘em happy is a whole different
ball game. One I was never good at.”

“Even when it mattered?”

“Especially
when it mattered. Like I said, I would like to
think I have grown up a little...” He let the sentence linger, his
words trailing in the air above them like smoke.

The air between them got heavy with
expectation. Krista’s pulse quickened in response. She felt herself
rising, her lips aiming for his, her eyes never leaving his intense
gaze. He stared down at her as if in hypnosis, as if wondering what
would happen next; just a player in her game.

She let her hand trail up his hard chest,
lightly going over the skin on his neck, feeling him erupt in goose
pimples as she let her fingers travel into his thick, blond hair.
Their faces were inches apart, him letting her dictate the pace,
complying with her demands.

Sean’s hands spread across her back,
covering as much as they could, tightening, but not pulling. He was
just taking up the slack, making sure he had a firm hold as Krista
slowly closed the distance between their mouths.

As Krista’s lips glanced across his, she
felt the electricity jump between them, then connected again, more
firmly this time. She heard him sigh, but he didn’t bring her
closer. He was still taking her cues, waiting for her to call the
shots.

“
Sean.”
She sighed his name. In heaven.

He responded eagerly, his hands sliding
across her back and pushing his body against hers as his tongue
probed and flickered into her mouth. Her groin tightened in
response and her body lit up in such an intense fire it took her
breath away.

She slid her hands under his shirt and felt
his smooth, rippled skin. She was beyond reason and sanity. She
found one of his nipples and pinched it between her fingers. She
heard a growl in response as his tongue took up the rhythm of
probing and retreating; sex in her mouth.

As she reached around his body with the
intent of lowering herself and bringing him on top of her, she
heard loud voices and footsteps.

“Krista--
oh
!”

Sean broke away, but not far away. Seeing
that she didn’t flinch back, he let his presence linger.

Smoothing her clothes, Krista stood up, Sean
following her gracefully. Abbey was standing with some red headed
character wearing a smirk. They both looked like they were entering
a gothic cult of some kind. Being that Krista had never seen this
guy before, she gave it half an hour before the loud sex screeching
would start.

“Hey Abbey, this is Sean.”

“Sean, huh? Nice to meet you.” Abbey eyed
him with interest for a second before deciding he wasn’t her taste.
He wasn’t wearing enough black, probably.

Being that Abbey didn’t intend to introduce
her date—she never did—Krista grabbed Sean’s large hand and
pretended not to notice when he flinched. She led him down the hall
to her room with passing comments to Abbey about having a good
night. Krista figured sex with Sean was out, based on how he’d been
acting in front of people, but she didn’t want to say goodbye in
front of an audience.

Once in her room she closed the door and
noticed him looking around with interest.

“Sean, um...” she didn’t actually know what
to say.

She sat on her bed with a plop, hoping he’d
follow suit.

He didn’t. Instead he turned towards her
from across the room.

“I should probably go,” he said evenly.

Krista nodded, careful to keep the tears
from her eyes. She had been through a lot of memories in the last
two days, and she still had a lot of alcohol swimming around in her
veins, so the best thing to do was keep a lid on things and sleep
it off. She didn’t want Sean knowing any more than he already did.
Or witnessing any more pity parties.

Sean hesitantly took a couple steps toward
Krista, reached down to squeeze her shoulder, looked at her for a
beat, and then quietly left.

Krista sat on the bed for a minute, going
over the end of the day. She had poured out all her embarrassing
past horrors to Sean, kissed him, and watched him sprint for the
door at the first available opportunity.

The good news was that by
leaving, he separated himself from Jim. Jim would have preyed on
her vulnerability, first to guarantee an
in
to her bed, and then because he
liked it. He liked when she cried. He liked feeling that mastery
over her; the proof of her weakness. He liked to squeeze it from
her when he was inside her, heightening his climax.

He was a sick bastard.

Krista looked back on the things she had
endured with shock. She couldn’t believe it took her so long to
leave. The fear was a big deterrent to her leaving, sure, but it
wasn’t all. It shouldn’t have been enough. Jim had her mind so
warped she barely knew up-from-down in the thick of it.

But still, it was shocking. And she’d only
been with him a little over a year! To think, some women endured
that for decades!

Krista cuddled into her blankets. Sean might
have run, but he didn’t prey on her weakness. At least there was
that.

~*~*~*~

Sean walked the few short blocks home in
turmoil. He hadn’t wanted to leave. She had looked so sad and
alone. She needed someone.

He stopped walking, debating. Should he go
back?

Her confession came back to him. The things
she’d suffered.

His fists clenched. If he ever saw that man,
he would rip his face off his head. He would hurt that bastard for
what he’d done.

Sean turned back toward Krista. But then
what? If he climbed in bed with her, he’d wrap her up in his arms,
then he’d strip her down and make love to her. He wouldn’t be able
to stop himself. He knew this.

Sean turned back toward his home. She
wouldn’t think it was genuinely from his heart. He couldn’t have
that.

His feet ate the pavement. He didn’t bother
ignoring the soft pull in his navel. It wasn’t lust, and it wasn’t
sex. She’d worked her way deeper. She’d burrowed down to a place
that he was scared to admit existed.

“Hey,” Cassie said as Sean entered the
house. “I’m making lasagna. How is she?”

Sean collapsed into the barstool at the
kitchen island. He shook his head. “She’s had a hard time of it.
She’s…fragile.”

Cassie paused with her hip cocked out and a
spoon with red sauce in it out to the side. “But I thought you said
she was tough? She looked like shit today, that’s for sure. What’d
you do to her last night?”

“Language,” Sean said
automatically, rubbing his temples. “She
is
tough. She’s had abuse in her
past. Not emotional stuff like us—hers was.” His jaw clenched. He
shook his head.