Overload (43 page)

on him by GSP & L. Perhaps he had even given Birdsong grounds for

claiming libel. Yet another part of Nim's mind argued that what he had

said needed to be said, that there were limits to patience and

reasonableness, and that someone had to speak out plainly, fearlessly,

accepting whatever consequences came.

He stormed on, "You sound off about forty percent conservation, Birdsong.

That isn't conservation; that's deprivation. It would mean a whole new

way of life, and a damn sight poorer one.

"Okay, there are some who say we ought to have lower standards of living,

all of us, that we live too well and should be deprived. Well, maybe

that's true, maybe not. But either way, that kind of decision for change

isn't for power companies like GSP & L to make. Our responsibility is to

maintain the living standards which people-through their elected

governments-tell us that they want. It's why we'll go on protecting those

standards, Birdsong, until ordered otherwise-but ordered officially, not

by overinflated, self-appointed pecksniffs like you."

As Nim paused for breath, the commissioner inquired coolly, "Have you

quite finished, Mr. Goldman?"

Nim swung to face the bench. "No, Mr. Chairman, I haven't. While I'm on

my feet there are a couple of other things I'd like to say."

"Mr. Chairman, if I might suggest a recessIt was Oscar

O'Brien, competing for attention.

Nim said firmly, "I intend to finish, Oscar." He observed that everyone

at the press table was scribbling and the official stenotypist had his

head down, fingers racing.

"There will be no recess for the moment," the commissioner said, and

O'Brien subsided unhappily, with a shrug. Birdsong was still standing,

silently, but a balf-smile now replaced his surprised expression. Perbaps

be was reasoning that Nim's outburst bad harmed GSP & L's cause and was

helping p & lfp. Well, Nim thought, whether that was true or not, having

gone this far he was damned if he would get fainthearted. He addressed

the commissioner and the administrative law judge, both watching him

curiously.

"This entire exercise, Mr. Chairman-and I mean this hearing and others

like it-is a futile, time-wasting, costly charade. It's futile because

it takes years to accomplish what ought to be done in weeks, and

sometimes even longer to do nothing. It's time-wasting because those of

us who are real producers, not paper-eating bureaucrats, could spend the

endless hours we're required to be here a helluva lot more usefully to

the companies we work for and society as a whole. It's outrageously

costly because taxpayers and power users-who Birdsong claims to rep-

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resent, but doesn't-get stuck with paying millions for this crazy, coun-

terproductive, comic-opera pseudo-system. And it's a charade because we

pretend that what we are doing here makes sense and reason when all of us

on our side of the fence know damn well it doesn't."

The commissioner's face flushed crimson. Decisively, this time, he

reached for his gavel and slammed it down. Glaring at Nim, be pronounced,

"That is all I will allow on that subject, but I give you due warning,

Mr. Goldman: I intend to read the transcript carefully and consider other

action later." Then to Birdsong with equal coldness: "Have you concluded

your questioning of this witness?"

"Yessir!" Birdsong grinned broadly. "If you ask me, he just pissed in his

own nest."

The gavel slammed. "I am not asking you."

Oscar O'Brien was on his feet again. Impatiently the commissioner waved

him down and announced, "This hearing is adjourned."

There was a buzz of excited conversation as the hearing room emptied. Nim

did not share in it. He had glanced toward O'Brien, who was stuffing

papers into a briefcase, but the lawyer shook his head-a gesture

combining disbelief and sadness-and a moment later stalked out alone.

Davey Birdsong joined a group of supporters who were noisily con-

gratulating him, and they all went out, laughing.

Laura Bo Carmichael, Roderick Pritchett, and several others from the

Sequoia Club regarded Nim curiously but made no comment as they, too,

left.

The press table emptied quickly, except for Nancy Molineaux, who appeared

to be reviewing her notes and making more. Her bead came up as Nim passed

by. She said softly, "Baby, oh baby! Did you ever crucify yourself!"

"If I did," he told her, "I'm sure you'll make the most of it."

She shook her head and smiled lazily. "Don't need to make anything, man.

You stuck your own ass in the blender. Man, A man! Wait till you see

tomorrow's papers."

He didn't answer and left Ms. Molineaux still working on her notes, no

doubt seeking the sharpest quotes with which to impale him. Nim was sure

the bitch would slant her story to make him look as bad as possible and

she would enjoy it, he thought, even more than her report about the

helicopter at Devil's Gate.

A sense of loneliness engulfed him as he left the bearing room alone.

Outside he was surprised to find several TV reporters with minicameras

awaiting him. He had forgotten how fast the visual media, once tipped

off, could cover a breaking story.

"Mr. Goldman," one of the TV men called out, "we heard about

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some things you said in there. Would you repeat them so we can have a

story on the news tonight?"

For a second Nim hesitated. He didn't have to do it. Then he decided:

He was in so much trouble already that nothing more which might be

said or done could make things worse. So why the hell not?

"Okay," he responded, "here's the way it is." He began speaking

forcefully, heatedly, once more as cameras rolled.

14

"From this moment on," J. Eric Humphrey said, his voice with a cutting

edge like steel, "you will cease to be a spokesman for this company about

anything. You will not appear on TV or radio. You will not give interviews

to the press or respond to a reporter's question, even if asked the time

of day. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Nim said, "it's clear."

The two faced each other, the chairman's desk between them. The setting

was unusually formal since Humphrey had chosen not to use the more casual

conference area where he and Nim normally had discussions.

It was the afternoon of the day following Nim's outburst at the Cali-

fornia Energy Commission bearing.

"As to public bearings," Humphrey went on, "you will, of course, no

longer appear at any. Other arrangements will be made."

"If you want my resignation, Eric, you can have it."

Nim had been thinking about that possibility all day. His departure, he

reasoned, might relieve GSP & L of some embarrassment, and be was aware

of owing a loyalty to the utility which in the past had treated him well.

Also, from his own point of view be was not sure be wanted to continue

working with some kind of stigma, expressed through a restriction of his

activities. His pride was involved there, and why not?

One thing Nim knew for sure: He would have no trouble getting a senior

appointment elsewhere. Plenty of public utilities would jump at the

chance of recruiting someone with his background and experience, as he

had learned from job offers before now. On the other band, he was

reluctant to leave California, which Nim, and a multitude of others,

believed to be the most agreeable and exciting place in the world to live

and work. Someone had said: If something happensgood or bad-it happens

in California first. Nim agreed wholeheartedly.

There was also the problem of Ruth and Leah and Benjy. Would

185

Ruth want to move-to Illinois, for example-the way things were between

them? Probably not.

"No one said anything about rc~igning," Eric Humphrey acknowledged

huffily.

Nim resisted an impulse to smile. This was not the moment. But be knew,

without indulging in egotism, that he was valuable to the chairman in a

host of ways, entirely apart from public appearances. His planning role

was one. In fact, being a GSP & L policy spokesman bad not been part of

Nim's original duties, but bad been added later and increased as time

went by. In a way, Nim thought, he would be glad to be rid of the public

aspect, so maybe be could put the pieces together and carry on. Anyway,

he decided, for the moment he would do nothing rash.

"That is all for now," Humphrey said coldly, returning to papers he bad

been studying when Nim was summoned. It was clear that the chairman would

need time to get over his personal displeasure.

Teresa Van Buren was waiting in Nim's office.

"I want you to know," the p.r. director said, "that I spent an hour with

Eric this morning arguing against his decision not to let you loose in

public any more. At one point he got as angry with me as be is with

YOU."

"Thanks, Tess." Nim dropped into a chair. He felt exhausted physically,

as well as mentally.

"What truly sent our esteemed chairman up the wall, and made him

unpersuadable, was your doing your thing on television after the bearing.

That really guaranteed maximum exposure." Van Buren chuckled. "If you

want the truth, I don't object to that, though you could have been more

tactful, then and at the hearing. But the main thing is, I think you'll

be vindicated eventually."

"In the meantime," Nim said, "I'm gagged."

"Yes, and I'm afraid that's going to be known outside of here. Do you

mind?" Without waiting for an answer, Van Buren produced a California

Examiner. "Have you seen the afternoon paper?"

"I saw an early edition."

At lunchtime Nim had read a front-page Nancy Molineaux story which was

headed:

Tirade by GSP & L's Goldman

Disrupts Energy Hearing

The report began:

An intemperate attack by Nimrod Goldman, a Golden

State Power & Light vice president, on opposition witnesses

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and the California Energy Commission itself, created turmoil yesterday

at a public hearing called to consider a proposed Dew generating plant

at Tunipah.

A shocked Commissioner Hugh G. Forbes, who presided, later dubbed

Goldman's remarks as "insulting and unacceptable" and said he will

consider possible legal action.

The later Examiner edition which the p.r. chief had brought contained a new

lead and heading:

GSP & L Disciplines Goldman

And Disavows His Outburst

Nimrod Goldman, former "fair-haired boy" at Golden State Power &

Light, today stands in disgrace, his future with the giant utility

uncertain because of a public temper tantrum yesterday. Meanwhile his

GSP&L bosses have disassociated themselves from Goldman's vitriolic

attack on . . .

And so on.

Van Buren said apologetically, "There was no way to stop the news getting

out about your being cut off as a spokesman. If it hadn't come from my

office-and, as it was, I only answered questions-someone else would have

leaked it."