Paint It Black (33 page)

I couldn’t breathe. Hands locked around my throat. Someone straddled me, crushing me. I beat at the hands, scratched at the hard forearms. I frantically reached for the light on the nightstand. Spots danced before my eyes, and consciousness began to ebb away.

In my efforts to grab the lamp, I managed to knock it over and turn it on. A brilliant beam of light shone right in Cougar’s face.

He blinked, but his eyes remained vacant. Unfocused. His grip relaxed the slightest bit. I dug my fingernails in his forearms again. He cried out and looked down at me. Then he finally saw me.

He rolled off me and yanked me to a sitting position.

“Necie, are you okay?” he cried. “I didn’t know—I wasn’t awake!”

I couldn’t answer him. Every breath I took felt like I was breathing in shards of glass. His fingers roamed my throat, searching for damage, desperate to erase it.

“What …” I croaked, “… did they do to you?”

He froze, and something horrible, something dark passed over his face. He ran from the room.

Stumbling to the bathroom, I flipped on the rest of the lights and inspected the ugly red welts on my throat. The door clicked open, and I hurried back, thinking it was Cougar, but it was Barnes. His eyes narrowed when
he looked at me, then widened with rage.

“What did he do?” he bellowed.

Tears welled in my eyes, and he mistook the reason. He stalked toward the door.

“Wait! He didn’t mean to.”

“Didn’t mean to? How could he not mean to?”

“This wasn’t Cougar. He was asleep. He didn’t know what he was doing.” I sat on the edge of the bed. “He’s … damaged. What did they do to him? He won’t talk to me.”

Barnes stared, then he sighed. “There is a bodyguard of Maria’s … He … he takes a certain perverse pleasure in breaking men like Cougar, by taking from them the thing they value most—their self-respect.”

“What do you—” I broke off when I saw his face flush. He refused to meet my eyes. Horrified, I realized he was implying a sexual attack.

“You horrible, horrible people!” I cried. “How can you employ monsters like that?”

I couldn’t stand to look at him. All I could think about was Cougar, and what he’d suffered because of me.

I found him by the chipped, cloudy-looking pool. He glanced at me with red-rimmed eyes, then came over to look at my throat.

He cursed loudly, violently, and turned his back. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

It killed me to see him so broken. He’d always been
there for me, and despite everything, he was still there.

“I love you,” I blurted.

Though I hadn’t known I was going to say it, I knew it was true.

“You love me?” he repeated, shooting me an incredulous look. “Necie, I nearly killed you!”

“I love you,” I said again, and held out my hand to him.

For a split second, his face was open. I saw hope. Fear. Then it was gone.

“We’ve got to move,” he said, and brushed past me.

Barnes’s man got us in without incident, transporting us in the back of a rattling black van. A Trojan horse with bad shocks. But once we entered the garage, he told us we were on our own.

Barnes thanked him, and we moved to the connecting door. As promised, we found it unlocked. We slipped into the spacious kitchen. From upstairs came the muffled sound of music and a woman’s laughter.

A door slammed nearby, and quick steps approached from the hallway. Barnes and I crouched behind a kitchen island, and Cougar slid behind the refrigerator.

A large man with brown hair and a tattoo on his forehead sauntered past me, heading for the fridge.

He never made it.

Cougar sprang from the shadows and seized him. With one quick, savage motion, he snapped the man’s neck.

Stunned, I watched the body fall to the floor.

“Cougar!” I hissed. “What—”

Barnes grabbed my arm and whispered, “Let him alone, Denise. This is the man I told you about.”

Looking at Cougar’s wild, angry face, I felt my heart break.

Maria yelled from upstairs, “Hey, Granger! Make yourself useful and bring up that tray of sandwiches. The brat’s getting hungry.”

My hopes surged. Abby was still alive!

Cougar and I moved for the stairs, but Barnes cut in front of us. We were halfway up when Maria appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Hurry up, will—” She gaped at her father. “Papa!” she gasped, her hand fluttering to her throat. “You’re alive!”

Then her gaze found me. Her face contorted with pain. “You lied to me, did this to me because of
her?”

“Maria, honey …” Barnes held out his hands. “Please, come. Let me explain.”

“I loved you!” she screamed. “I would’ve done anything for you.”

“Mija, please. I did this for both of you. You are my flesh and blood, my—”

“She despises you! Are you too stupid to see that?”

“I couldn’t let you harm that child, because of my failures as a father.”

“Hurt her?” Maria shouted, her eyes black with rage. “I’m going to kill her.”

With that, she turned and ran.

“No!” I screamed and nearly knocked Barnes down as I raced past him. I launched myself at her, snagging her ankle. She went sprawling on the white carpet and slipped from my grasp. I clawed after her on my hands and knees.

“Cougar!” I shouted. “Find Abby.”

Suddenly, Maria rolled onto her back and kicked me in the face. The blow snapped my head back. Blood spurted from my nose and filled my mouth. I couldn’t see, couldn’t hear for the ringing in my ears. When I could focus again, there was a gun pointing at my face.

“No, Maria, no!” Barnes barked. “Don’t!”

She swung the gun around and shot him. He fell backward against the wall.

“Papa!” she screamed, and I threw myself at her legs.

She crashed into a table, knocking it over. I guess that’s where the fire came from, an overturned candle that caught the curtains, because the next thing I knew, that side of the room was engulfed in flames.

CHAPTER
18

M
aria and I grappled for the gun. She smacked me across the face with it, cutting my cheek as she tried to bring it around to shoot me in the face.

She fought like a demon—biting, clawing, kicking, and punching. Dimly, I heard Cougar yelling for Abby, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off Maria.

The house was old—large, but inexpensively made. The flames spread quickly, and the floor creaked and moaned beneath us.

I jerked Maria’s arm, banging it against a coffee table. The gun clattered away. With a shriek, she went for my eyes, and I sank my teeth into her hand.

The floor gave another long, shuddering groan, then it buckled.

Maria’s eyes met mine. We realized at the same moment that the floor was collapsing, but it was too late to do anything. The room seemed to fold in half. We slid toward a yawning, crumbling hole.

Maria cried out something in Spanish and dug her fingers in the carpet, trying to gain purchase. I grabbed at a table and nearly bashed myself in the head when it toppled.

“Hold on!” Barnes cried. Blood flowered his left shoulder, and that arm hung limply by his side. He lay on his stomach and edged toward us.

“Papa, help me!” Maria screamed.

We were side by side now. She darted her eyes at me, then cried, “Papa, don’t let me die!”

Barnes’s face contorted and—in the midst of everything—I saw a tear slip down his cheek.

He stretched out his good arm to me.

Maria gave one last, horrible scream before she fell. Barnes gave me a mighty yank and pulled me out of the worst section.

“The stairs,” he gasped. “We have to get to the stairs.”

Gagging and choking on the heavy smoke, we crawled toward the staircase, then half-ran, half-fell down the steps.

“There!” Barnes said, and I spotted Cougar with Abby in his arms. He saw us and motioned for us to follow him. Momentarily setting Abby down, he picked up a chair and smashed the French doors. Grabbing
Abby, he swung her through the opening and set her on the grass.

“Come on!” I yelled, and reached for Barnes.

He wasn’t there.

Coughing, I turned back, trying to find him in the smoke.

Then Cougar appeared, seizing my arm. “Necie, we’ve got to go. This place is going to collapse.”

“I have to find him!” I cried. “He saved me.”

The house shrieked and swayed. I saw Abby through the broken door. She was screaming for me.

I took Cougar’s hand, and we ran for the door. A man stepped out, blocking our way. At first I was confused, wondering how Barnes had gotten in front of me, then I was even more confused to discover it was Bill.

He pointed a gun at us.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant for it to come to this, but I don’t know what the old man’s told you.”

“You?” Cougar asked. “It was you?”

“I’m sorry,” Bill said again, and steadied his arm.

Frank Barnes came charging out of the flames. He launched himself at Bill, and they tumbled out of sight. I heard him shout, “Get her out of here!” and Cougar did.

He seized Abby with one arm and we ran.

With a loud rumble, the house caved in.

I stared at it in shocked silence, then Cougar held me while I cried.

CHAPTER
19

L
ater, Cougar told me that he’d called Bill from the motel, because he feared we were walking into a trap. I still couldn’t believe Bill had tried to kill us, and that ultimately, Frank Barnes had died for us.

Elizabeth was sentenced to ten years for her role in the kidnapping, but would probably only serve a third of that.

The things we do for love …

I wish I could say things were perfect after we got back, that Cougar and I finally found the “happily ever after” we knew we could have with one another, but if anything, life grew harder.

With Maria and Granger both dead, I’d hoped Cougar could come to terms with whatever they’d done to him, but he had changed. Maybe irrevocably. I knew
he loved me, but there was a wall between us that I couldn’t crack. I would give anything if he could only talk to me, and it killed me to know he felt the same way.

His eyes were empty, and he seldom smiled, or even talked. Though he spent every night that Abby wasn’t there in my bed, and every night when she was on my couch, we didn’t make love. He would hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right. When he woke up screaming, I would hold him and say the same.

One day, he left work early before I got out of court. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going and left his car in the parking garage at work. Grady wanted to take Abby to a movie that night, so I dropped her off at his place and went home to wait. Minutes turned to hours, and my anxiety grew. Cougar stumbled in around two, soaking wet from the freezing rain and smelling of tequila. That scared me as much as anything, because in all the years I’d known him, I’d never seen him drink.

“Where have you been?” I asked, as calmly as I could.

He wouldn’t meet my eyes while he stripped off his shirt. “With Angel.”

“I called the hospital. They said they hadn’t seen you.”

“With Tucker, then.”

“Tucker’s the one who told me he hadn’t seen you.”

“Those are your only two choices.” He forced a smile and stumbled toward the bathroom. “Shhh, or you’ll wake Abby.”

“It’s Friday. Abby’s with her father. I want to talk about you, and where you’ve been for the past fourteen hours.”

He nearly fell when he twisted to face me. His eyes narrowed. “If I wanted a curfew, I’d still be at home with my mother.”

“Yeah, and if I wanted a drunk, I’d still be with Grady.” I threw the pillow I’d been hugging on the couch and stood. He flinched like he’d been slapped, and I lowered my voice. “Please, Jason. Don’t shut me out.”

He hesitated, staring at me for a long moment as he swayed on his feet. Then he brushed my words away with a wave of his hand and turned back toward the bathroom.

“Nothing they could’ve done to you is worse than what I’ve already imagined,” I blurted.

He froze.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but I was desperate for something—
anything
—to make him open up to me.

“Whatever they did, it wasn’t your fault.”

I touched his back and he startled me when he gave a great, heaving sob. He pivoted and—in doing so—lost his balance. I tried to grab him, but he was too heavy. We crashed to the floor. He pulled me into his lap and hugged me so hard I could barely breathe.

“Don’t give up on me,” he begged. “If there’s one thing I hang onto … that gets me through the night … it’s you.”

xsHis tears burned hot against my neck as he rocked me, but the rest of him was icy cold. “Never.” I stroked his damp hair. “Never.”

He pulled back and looked at me. The anguish in his reddened eyes seared me to the bone. “I-I can’t. There are some things …” He squeezed his eyes shut. “God help me, I can’t even say it out loud. I’m s-sorry, but I can’t. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

Tears coursed down his face. Down mine.

“I know you l-love me, that you believe those things you said,” he said. “But there are things I can’t talk about—not with you, not with anybody. It doesn’t mean …” He slipped his hand behind my head and wound his fingers in my hair. Pressing his forehead to mine, he said, “I love you with all my heart. Can’t that be enough?”