Painting Sky (21 page)

This wasn’t good—I knew that smile. I’d seen it before in dozens of faces. I tried to keep thinking about all the times he’d been a jerk to me. He had called me a whore two days ago and now I felt giddy with his sweet words?

I didn’t see Shelby that day. I needed to confront her about Keith and advise her, somehow, that he wasn’t someone who she should be having a relationship with. I didn’t even know if he was capable of such a thing.

Professor Collins critiqued all my drawings, but today I wasn’t even making an effort, so I didn’t blame her. I still had the feeling of worry at the bottom of my stomach. About what, I had no idea.

That afternoon, I ended up staying late in one of the classrooms, talking about a group project. Cody had texted me around seven to tell me he was staying in the library, so I decided to surprise him there to see if he could drive me home. It was late and dark outside: not a good combination for an empty campus.

I was crossing the patio that lead to the library when my phone started ringing. It was my common ringtone, so I knew right away that it wasn’t home, Ryan, or Cody. I took a couple of seconds to decide if I wanted to search in my backpack for my phone.

Since it kept ringing, I decided it was better to get it over with than to keep receiving calls in the library. I paused in front of the door, phone in hand, wondering what Keith wanted.

“Hi,” I answered.

“Sky, I got home a few minutes ago and you’re not here.” He sounded upset—demanding, even. Since when did he start checking my schedule?

“Keith, I don’t owe you an explanation.” I leaned against a wall, willing the call to end, as it was too cold to be outside any longer.

“I-I wasn’t demanding…” I heard him groan on the other side. I could just picture his hand messing up his hair impatiently. “I was worried.” It might’ve taken him some years of his life to say something sweet like that. I softened a little.

“Okay, I’m at the library. I was just saying hello to Cody and asking him for a ride home.”

“He texted me an hour ago saying he was staying there. I’ll pick you up.” There was such finality on his part that I didn’t have the courage to say no. If he wanted to bother driving all the way here, I wasn’t going to complain. Cody would, so this would make for less of an argument for us. I ended the call and went in search of my boyfriend.

I found his friends at one table, talking in whispered voices, but I could sense it wasn’t work-related. Cody wasn’t there, but, in one of the empty chairs sat his coat—the one I had given him last Christmas. I smiled and turned to search for him in the aisles. I didn’t know his friends, so going to them to ask for him would make me sound like too much of a clingy girlfriend, even though I wasn’t one—not by a long shot.

I turned the corner and jumped back. Cody was leaning against the books and Alexis was all over him, with her hands on his shoulders and a pleading look on her face. I should have run to them and tackled her to the floor, but I did nothing. I wanted to see Cody’s reaction.

“Alex, stop. You know we can’t.” His voice was barely a whisper, but, in the silent library, my ears caught every word they were exchanging. “I have a—”

“Girlfriend,” she answered, with a disgusted voice, as if they’d had this argument before. I didn’t like that, at all. “I know. It didn’t stop you last time.”

I stumbled against the shelves and they looked around. They didn’t see me, however, because the books were hiding me completely. “It was a mistake.” He sounded like he didn’t want it to have been a mistake.

“Don’t tell me I was a mistake.”

He silenced her. “Not you, but sleeping with you was a mistake. We should get back to the table.”

The blood in my body had frozen me in place. I couldn’t move a muscle. When they turned the corner and Cody’s eyes met mine, I did something I was so used to doing: stayed quiet when someone was stomping all over me.

Cody looked so panicked. He’d thought I would never find out. He had been hoping for it.

“Jane, God, you heard…” He scratched the back of his head in a way that wasn’t so different from his brother. “Alexis, go.” He stood between us, like I would turn into a cat and scratch her. I wished I was capable of that. I wished, at that moment, that I was one of those people who could scream and make a scene anywhere. That way, I could humiliate him in front of his friends and probably ban him from the library. I wasn’t one of those people, though. My mother had taught me well.

I crossed my arms and faced him, waiting for the excuses to start.

“I’m so sorry. It happened just once, I promise you. Jane, don’t hate me. I love you.”

Those three words woke me up, as if a lightning bolt had descended upon my body. I jumped back, hitting the shelves behind me.

“Don’t ever tell me that. Never again.” I was consumed by hate. The tears hadn’t even started, yet. It was better this way: hating him was much easier than hurting.

He went for my arm, but I stepped aside again. I was disgusted by his touch.

I had almost slept with him—I had almost lost my virginity to him—and the bastard had cheated on me. I had thought for a long time that we were it, forever.

“Don’t say that, baby, please.” He had the decency to look ashamed, hurt, and apologetic. A tear was forming in the corner of his eye. Yeah, he loved me, alright, but he’d betrayed me in the most horrible way I could think of. Even if, one day, I would be capable of forgiving him, I would never be able to forget. This moment would chase us forever.

“Don’t call me that, ever. It’s over, Cody.” I gulped, trying to block out my own tears.

He shook his head and tried to reach for my arm again. “No, Jane, you’re upset right now. Let’s talk.” People were starting to look our way. Some were annoyed we were interrupting their study time, while others were intrigued by our argument.

“No. I need to be alone.” I ran outside, ignoring his pleading. After bumping into someone and even gathering my voice to apologize, I pushed the door open and ran to the road. Only then did I remember Keith’s ride offer. He was probably around campus, waiting for me.

I wanted to be alone, but I couldn’t let my argument with Cody get in the way of my safety. A car stopped by my side and I looked quickly to the driver to confirm that it was Keith.

I threw the door open and jumped into the seat.

“You should’ve waited outside the library, not started walking along the road. Do you know how dangerous—”

He stopped talking when my sobbing reached his ears.

“Skylar, talk to me. Did someone hurt you?”

Keith was slowing down the car and I managed to tell him to go somewhere, but not home. He just nodded and stopped questioning me. He’d probably discerned the truth: that I’d had a fight with Cody.

He stopped in a clearing on the outskirts of the forest that surrounded the house and turned off the car, facing me. He respected my silence.

Was it normal that Keith’s presence helped, even when I wanted to be alone so badly? He felt like home.

A depressing song came up on the radio, and Keith asked me if I wanted him to change stations. I shook my head. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them tightly. The tears came down almost instantly when the lyrics mentioned pain.

I was feeling pain, alright.

When my breathing slowed, I heard Keith’s low voice singing the lyrics. I turned to face him, placing my cheek on my bent knee, and stopped crying while he murmured the song. I wanted someone to take it all away, but knew it wasn’t possible. I knew I would have to suffer for a long time before everything would be less painful.

Cody was a big part of my life. The betrayal was too deep. I knew I hadn’t been a good girlfriend. We’d been apart for too long. But cheating? If someone had asked me a couple months ago, I would have placed my hand over fire before ever thinking he could do something so cruel to me.

He had been my first love, my only love, my best friend, and now my roommate. How was I going to face him now? Keith must’ve sensed my panic, because he touched my elbow, making me wince.

“I don’t…” My voice felt strange in my throat, as if I had been screaming for hours. “I can’t live there, anymore, with him.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked. I shook my head vigorously. I didn’t want to voice the words out loud. Cody had cheated on me. Even in my head, the words hurt so much. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to erase the last hour. If I pretended it didn’t happen—no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t be one of those girls who pretended not to see what their boyfriends did when they turned their backs.

“Well, if you want him gone, just say the word.”

My head snapped up. “What?”

He looked out the window to the trees around us and shrugged. “I already told you: the house is mine. I say who lives there.”

I was appalled. “You would choose someone you are not even friends with over your brother?” My voice came out too high-pitched and coated with astonishment, while I turned to face him. I waited for a reply, which came a couple of minutes later.

“If he hurt you in any way, then yes, I would choose you over him.” He raised his eyes to meet mine and looked sheepish, as if that had been too much information. I didn’t have a doubt it was true, though. If I told him about what had happened with Cody, he would turn his back on his brother. Why? I had no idea.

And Ryan? Oh, Ryan would kick Cody from here to the next century. He’d warned me endless times before. He told Cody on a daily basis that, if he hurt me, he wouldn’t live to see the next day. I didn’t believe he would hurt Cody too much, but he would absolutely beat him up and ask Keith to kick him out. One thing I’d learned over the years was that Keith had a much brotherly relationship with Ryan than with his real brother.

I couldn’t do this to them. Right now, I hated Cody with a passion, but one thing I treasured most was family, and Keith was his family. I would do anything to protect their fragile bond.

“We,” I stammered, thinking quickly for an excuse. “We had a fight. It was no one’s fault.” I had to stop there to gulp some air. That lie had hurt so much to utter. “We broke up.” A single tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek.

“I’m sorry, Jane.” He was sincere but that name on his lips seemed wrong. It was as if he were talking about someone else.

My eyes shot up. “Don’t call me Jane. It’s weird.” I winced.

Keith laughed, making me smile slightly. “Now you think it’s weird? It’s your name.”

I fidgeted on the seat. I wanted to be honest about something in our conversation. “Yeah, but not for you,” I whispered. It was my turn to look out into the woods. “I kind of got used to your nickname, although I have no idea why you started it, other than to get on my nerves. No one calls me Skylar. Most people don’t even know that’s my middle name.”

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before honestly answering my question. “When I met you, I looked into your eyes and the first thought that popped in my head, before I shoved you to the ground, of course,” he winced, “was that your eye color was just like the sky, when it’s clear and you can sense a storm approaching, but it’s not there, yet.”

I nodded, even though I had no idea what he was talking about. I was still mesmerized that his first thought of me had been about my eyes: a part of myself I didn’t really appreciate.

“I don’t like my eyes,” I answered, not sure why I was sharing such an intimate thought with him, of all people. He looked surprised, which made me laugh again. At least he could take my mind off Cody.

He was still shaking his head when he asked why I had such a dislike for something everyone seemed to find attractive.

“It’s not that I find them ugly, it’s just… they weird me out. How can they not weird other people out? They’re so light that I feel conscious of them when someone stares, and people do that a lot.” I looked at him sideways, daring him to correct me.

Keith kept shaking his head, and started the car to get the heating system on. “People stare because they’re beautiful, not weird. They envy your eyes, Sky.”

I was mute after that. Beautiful—my mother had always called me beautiful. Cody had frequently called me beautiful. Even some of my friends had done so. Keith Hale called me beautiful, when his only adjectives for women had used to be “hot,” “smoking,” and some other words I dared not to pronounce, I’d heard them all, but “beautiful” wasn’t among them. Should I have felt special, or was he just trying to make me feel better? For the rest of the way to our house, I pondered both hypotheses.

Keith opened the door for me when I didn’t jump right out—and not because he’s a gentlemen, because he was not. I had to remind myself on a daily basis, or, as of recently, on an hourly basis.

I hugged my arms to keep me warm and shook my head when Keith offered his jacket. After all, we were only ten steps from the front door.

“Don’t confront Cody, okay? I will talk to him tomorrow.” I wanted to talk to my ex-boyfriend before he could talk to Ryan or Keith. I shivered at the thought of Cody being my ex.

I didn’t want to cry more in front of Keith, so I said a quick goodnight and skipped the stairs two at a time.

I didn’t even bother taking my clothes off: I just snuggled under the covers, hugging Mr. Teddy, and cried myself to sleep.