Paper Cranes (16 page)

“Fine. I’ll consider it.”

“Well, while you ‘consider’ it, I want to do another EMG just for my own peace of mind.”

“If I tell you I’ll go on a date; can we skip the EMG?” I whined.

“Nope. Sorry, Charlie. Now get into this gown and I’ll be right back.”

“I like you already, Doc,” JoJo laughed.

Dr. Atlee left just a moment as I slipped my top over my head. Jo was used to my bra theatrics, and didn’t think twice to unhook the clasp. Slowly the strength in my hand was weakening and trying to put on a bra was menacing.

“Need any help with the pants, or do you got this?”

“Stretchy pants! Comfort before glamor,” I smiled.

“Are you wearing Wonder Woman undies?” she giggled as she stared down at my panties as I undressed.

“Umm, yes! They are my ‘Bad Ass’ panties.”

“Whatever,” she laughed.

Just as I slipped on the gown, my face turned bright red realizing my bad ass undies had a see through backing to them.
FUCK!
Well, no better way to break in a new Doc then to show him nearly all of my goodies.
Perfect!

Dr. Atlee asked me to curl up on my side away from him into the fetal position, immediately feeling mortified. I could feel and audible chuckle as JoJo got a good glimpse of my ‘bad ass’ness. Her humorous mood changed as soon as she got a glimpse of the needle that would be probing my back, shoulders and spin.

This was my least favorite part of an exam. One, which I had hoped I would never have to do again. Jo’s chuckles turned to a quiet gasp as Dr. Atlee started up the mobile transport ultrasound.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you how this feels, because I know darn well you already know. Bear with me and we will get this done as soon as possible.”

“Wait, you’re going to stick that thing in her muscles. Like, through her skin? Is it like acupuncture?” Jo asked.

“Hell no,” I shouted. “I would take acupuncture any day of the week.

“What we need to do today is what’s called an intramuscular electromyography. Basically, this needle here is inserted into the skin and into the muscular tissue. Since there is no official test for ALS, this is the closest we usually get to diagnose the disease.

“So what do you do once it’s in there?”

I knew exactly what JoJo was doing. She was being the best friend I knew she was – distracting me from the pain.

“Well, once the needle is inserted like this, I have to move it around to get any activity. The trouble is, you need to do a reading with resting activity in the muscle. The normal evaluation of a resting muscle gives a brief burst of muscle activity. When I probe Kat like this, I’m sending an electrical current through this needle to stimulate muscle movement looking for abnormalities.”

Dr. Atlee moved the needle around, up my spin, in my neck and at the base of my spin. At times he would press on the surrounding skin to get a better reading. It was borderline unbearable. The very first time I had an EMG, I was unprepared for the pain, nor the after effects. I sat at the kitchen counter, bent over, crying with an icepack on my neck.

“How do you know there are abnormalities though?”

Dr. Atlee turned up the volume on the monitor, pointing to the spikes on the screen.

“You see, Muscle tissue at rest is normally electrically inactive. Usually once the needle is inserted and the shock subsides, there should be no muscular activity. But see here,” he pointed to the spike. “This shows her muscles are never at rest and there are some unexplained and or abnormal activity occurring. This typically triggers the muscle spasms she has daily.”

“Can she just take a muscle relaxer or something? Slow those bad boys down?”

“I wish it were that simple, but this all stems from the neurological connection from the brain straight to the muscles. You can’t exactly give your brain a muscle relaxer unfortunately.”

“Why can’t she just have some sort of transplant?”

“JoJo, I’m not Frankenstein!”

“That’s a legitimate question. The neurons connected to your brain and spinal cord all linked to the muscles throughout your body. Because they are all associated, when the motor neurons die, well the brain essentially forgets how to control muscular movement.”

“Very interesting,” JoJo replied.

“Yeah, super interesting,” I grunted as Dr. Atlee removed the needled. He held gauze to the puncture wounds as I recovered from the electrode shocks and needle.

“You did really good, kiddo. Go on and get dressed and I’ll have Patricia, our Respiratory Doctor to come in. She wants to do a base point test so we can track your progress throughout your visits.”

“Cool, cool,” I muttered as I sat up on the table. The crunching sound of the sanitary paper crinkled as I twisted to an upright position. The cringe worthy sound was like nails on a chalkboard for me. Dr. Atlee exited as I jumped off the table to get dressed.

“Those really were cute undies,” she laughed, easing my pain.

“Thanks for that,” I gave her a sideways grin.

“Oh you thought I was doing that for you?” she asked.

“I know damn well you’ve Googled and researched everything on the disease, you knew damn well what you were doing,” I smiled.

“Yeah, well, never hurts to hear it again,” she winked.

A slight knock came from the door, followed by a boisterous, “Hello, Hello!”

“We’re decent,” Jo echoed.

Taking my seat back on the examination table, Patricia placed an array of gadgets on the physician’s counter.

“So I hear you work for the Saints?” she questioned.

“How the…” I began.

“No secrets, are safe secrets here,” she grinned from ear to ear.

“If I say yes, will you take it easy on me? Cause if you’re an Atlanta fan, I’d say GO FALCONS.”

“I’m a Saints fan, but we really need to talk about Drew. He is a hot mess, girl.”

Patricia was amazing. She didn’t make me feel like I had a disease, but talked to me like a regular human being. She cleaned prepared her devices as she carried on a casual conversation. Approaching my side, she lifted a device to my mouth.

“The is going to test your lungs and your diaphragm’s aptitude. I need you to take a huge intake of breath and blow as hard as you can.

“Aight girl, I need you to take a big, huge breath and blow harder than Drew Brees did this year!”

Before I had the chance to laugh, Patricia had the tube in my mouth. Clinched between my teeth was a piece of plastic shaped to the inner contours of my lips. Inhaling a deep breath, I exhaled with such force I nearly thought I was turning blue.

“Good, good, good. Push, push, push. Excellent job girl!”

Panting, I gave her the thumbs up.

“You got a good set of lungs on you girl. Let’s keep that up! Stay away from smokers, you know the ‘Happy Birthday’ deal, right?”

“Guess it’s about time to quit Jo!”

“The what?” JoJo chimed in diverting topics, while Patricia set up another breathing exercise.

“Whenever she goes to wash her hands, she needs to scrub and wash them long enough for her to sing Happy Birthday twice.”

“Oh this is gold!” Jo chortled.

“The main goal is to keep her as healthy as we can and that includes you, smart ass,” Patricia laughed as she joked with JoJo.

“What did I do?”

“That means Kat, you and JoJo need to get flu and pneumonia shots. No arguing.”

“Ugh, and I thought we were getting along so well, Patricia. But don’t they make you sick?”

“Yeah, I heard they make you really sick,” Jo echoed.

“Horse shit! It’s all in your noggin’. People always say that crap.”

“Then shoot me up Doc,” I joked.

After a few more respiratory test, Patricia left us, rotating several more doctors. After three hours of questions and evaluations, I wanted to scream. Just before the yelps of conceded came from my lips, I received a ping on my cell. Before I could retaliate, JoJo scrambled to grab the device.

Lee:
Hanging in there, Dove?

Jo looked at me wide eyes. I could see her scheming behind those green eyes of hers as she prepared to type.

“Oh hell no! You are NOT sending him a message,” I screamed.

Watching her scroll through the messages, she gave me a wicked grin.

“Looks like you’re doing just fine on you own, sweet pea,” she stated, tossing me my cellphone.

Me:
Barely! Nurse Ratchet over here wants to give me a few shots.

Lee:
I’ll plead your innocence when you kill her for coming near you with her needles.

Me:
Hold me back!

Lee:
Ha ha ha. Everything else going okay?

Me:
They had to do another EMG, argh!

Lee:
Fuck! I’m sorry, Kat. Those are no fun.

Me:
No worries, Jo was here to distract me by trying to convert my, very gay, Doctor to turn for her.

Lee:
Oh, Lord. Sounds entertaining though. You know, I could go with you next time.

Lee:
If you want. Just saying.

Me:
I’ll think about it. I’m not sure you’re ready for my Wonder Woman bad-assery!

Lee:
Huh?

Me:
You told me to be a bad ass, so I just so happened to have on my Wonder Woman, world domination panties. Although, I was completely unaware that I was going to be doing an EMG and therefore had to apologize to the Doc for the sheer rear end.

Lee:
Oh I’m definitely coming next time then!

Somehow I knew he was going to say that, yet it didn’t bother me. In fact, it was kind of naughty telling him about my panties. Sexting without intentionally Sexting. Genius!

Me:
I’ll consider your offer :)

Lee:
Stop considering and say yes, woman!

Me:
Maybe.

Lee:
You can’t talk about your panties and not give a guy hope, Dove. Evil, manipulative woman that you are lol.

Me:
Strategic is more like it.

Lee:
Fair enough. When can I see you again?

Me:
I don’t know, I suddenly feel a cold coming on. :::cough, cough::: lol

Lee:
Well, I suggest you go get your flu shot now. Kill that “cold” stat!

Me:
I’ll text or call later, K?

Lee:
Just as long as you don’t ever say, “K”, again. It’s insulting lol

Me:
Fine.

Lee:
That too! Dove, I may need to take you over my knee before too long if you keep up these antics lol

Me:
Is that a promise or a threat?

I knew damn well I shouldn’t have responded like I did, but he left it wide open for interpretation. Plus, he made it so damn easy! I could see his response bubbles bouncing across my screen as the RN came into the room to administer the shots. The bubbles danced a rhythmic dance just like my heart as I prepared myself for the prick of the needle.

Just as the needle pierced my skin, Lee’s message came though.

Lee:
Promise…FRIEND :)

Lee’s response was a welcome distraction as the nurse removed the needle.

“Any Band-Aid preference?” She giggled her innocent chimes.

“Yeah. You got any Wonder Woman?” I smirked.