Paradise Fought: Abel (32 page)

I was having trouble focusing on Creed, who only stared back at me.

“What? Dude, you’ve clearly had too much.”

“Tell him,” I addressed Elma. “Tell him,” I barked sharper. Elma flinched beneath me. I continued instead. “She didn’t have the tuition. Cain’s fault, so I paid. Oh boy, did I pay. I paid her tuition, and she set me up to fight my own brother.” My hand slipped from the bark of the tree, tearing at my skin, which felt no pain. I could feel nothing at the moment. My heart was hard. It hardly beat.

“Why Elma?” I whined again softly. “All I ever wanted to do was love you.” My forehead rested against hers and I closed my eyes. “I only wanted to love you. Why couldn’t you love me, rúnsearc? Love me, Elma,” I pleaded. Our heads collided softly as my forehead rolled over hers, but then I was tugged to the side. I reached out for her but my reflexes were completely inhibited. I stumbled and tripped as Creed yanked me toward the front curb. I couldn’t form the words.
Dude
, I wanted to cry as I fumbled until I reached the car and realized I was crying. Tears dampened my face. In shame, I leaned my head forward to bang on the edge of the roof and passed out.

Abel words left me utterly frozen. I was plastered to the tree at my back as if I was one with it.

Love me
,
Elma
, he pleaded. A series of Abel’s requests flooded my mind.
Fuck me, Elma. Fight me, Elma.
Then, he asked me to love him. I did love him, but telling him like this wasn’t how it was meant to be. Abel and I needed to talk. He was convinced I’d been with his brother, and he wouldn’t listen to me long enough to explain the truth. Nothing happened between Cain and I. We didn’t talk, but we’d come to a silent agreement. When I returned to his room, he rolled from his bed, taking the duvet with him and a pillow. He practically fell on the floor and made a makeshift bed. He was unashamed of his tight boxer briefs, but I wasn’t interested in him. I had just been with his brother in a manner that left me wired and reeling. I wasn’t certain what to feel after that time with Abel.

“Did he hurt you?” Cain mumbled, not mentioning that I wore one of Abel’s shirts, instead of the dress I had exited Cain’s room in.

“No,” I replied, but my voice shook. Abel hadn’t hurt me. I wasn’t certain what he’d done to me. He had been aggressive and rough, and I had strangely enjoyed it. It was his words that stung.

He was done with me. He’d paid for me.

Those words were more painful than the physical intrusion, which had been rather pleasurable in his haste. He’d repeated those words tonight.

He’d paid for me.

That was all I thought he could see. The dollar signs of paying my tuition. But then...
All I wanted to do was love you
, he said. He said, in his father’s home, he didn’t love me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t let it be true. Abel was clearly not in the right frame of mind. He didn’t know what he was saying, but the mere thought of it being possible sent my heart aflutter. In fact, it flipped so rapidly, it was in my throat. I choked on a sob and tears sprang forward.

“Oh, honey,” Lindee said, stepping up to me and brushing back my hair. “That was rough.”

I could only shake my head. Maybe they didn’t hear what he said. Maybe I imagined it.

“Did you really do that? Did you really let him pay your tuition?”

I couldn’t look at her as the tears streamed down my face. I felt liquid inside. I was hopeless in the moment. No family. No money. No Abel.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you,” she sighed, pushing back my hair again and soothing me like my mother once did. The reminder of my mother, and the fact she’d simply disappeared, made me cry harder. I leaned forward and Lindee caught me in an embrace.

“Oh, Elma, honey. I’m your best friend. I’m here for you.” She rubbed my back as I continued to cry on her shoulder. After a few minutes, she suggested we go home, and the tears fell as I began to laugh. Hysteria had hit me as I realized that the homeless, like me, had no place to call home.

On Monday, I decided to approach Abel. He was casually leaning against the wall near the restrooms in the science building. One foot was raised to balance behind him. His head was down as he was texting someone on his phone.

“Hey,” I said softly, but I startled him.

“Elma?” he questioned, looking over my head and down the emptying hall. I peered behind me, finding no one in particular and twisted back to him.

“So how are you?”

“Fine,” he tilted his head, questioning my motive for asking.

“I wanted to show you something,” I said excitedly, hoping he wouldn’t think it was silly to share with him. I set my bag on the floor and pulled out the brochure. I held it out to him and he read the front, flipped open to the inside and turned it over. His face smiled slowly in a crooked smile.

“This looks really great, Elma. A little pink for me, but really…great,” he repeated. The smile on his face was almost pride and my heart skipped a beat.

“I worked hard on it, and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. The show is going to be amazing. I got to choreograph some of the dances for the little ones, and I have a spotlight showcase of my own in our dance troupe number. Jewels said some major dance recruiters will be there looking for talent.”

Abel nodded as he handed the program for the dance show back to me.

“That’s wonderful, Elma. You should be really proud of yourself, like you said.”

“I am, but I owe it all to you. For finding me the job.”

“I didn’t find you the job,” he smiled, as if he had a secret.

“That’s what Jewels said, but I know it’s not true.”

“I didn’t, honest,” he chuckled and the old Abel was back. His hair had grown a little longer in the front, and the dark bangs hung down. He flicked his head to move it out of his eyes. Dark blue eyes pierced me. He looked good, really good. He wore only a gray t-shirt in the warmer weather and his colorful tattoos stood out. I still didn’t know what they all meant and I wanted to. I wanted to know every detail of Abel, inside and out. I eyed one arm until I heard him clear his throat.

“Anyway…” I said, coughing a little to disguise my embarrassment. “I was wondering if you’d be able to attend. The performance that is. I know it will be a lot of little kids and such, but there is…”

“When is it?” he asked, a little noncommittal. His face dropped from its playful expression of seconds before.

“It’s May twenty-first.”

He nodded once.

“I can’t,” he stated. My smile was false and my shoulders fell.

“I see,” I said quickly, returning the program back to my bag.

“I’ve got the fight,” he said quietly. Tears suddenly came to my eyes like a silly school girl. I blinked rapidly before I stood to face him. His expression had completely changed.

“There you are. Ready to go to lunch?” I turned to face Keli Hogan. Her yellow hair was large and her shirt too small. Her stomach showed above her low slung jeans. She wrapped an arm under Abel’s and leaned into him.

“Sure,” he said, smiling down at her. My mouth twisted and I bit my lip. I stared in confusion, while Keli continued to curl into Abel. If she got any closer to him, she’d slip into his jeans before me. I closed my eyes slowly at the image of Abel having sex with Keli. My stomach roiled and bile churned.

“Would you mind giving me one more second with Abel?” I purred in my sweetest voice. It dripped of falseness, but I needed an answer from Abel. Keli’s eyes narrowed at me before she turned and tipped up to kiss Abel with a peck. He pulled back in shock and blinked down at her. He turned to face me in awkward surprise. Keli smiled with a slight curtesy to me and walked down the hall.

“Don’t be long, Abel. I’m hungry for you,” she giggled, knowing there was more to her meaning. My stomach flipped again at the idea of her going down on Abel’s well-endowed body. I shook my head.

Abel stared back at me waiting. I took a deep breath.

“So the other night…” I started.

“I was drunk,” he interrupted.

I stopped. My hands shifted my bag on my shoulder, and I tossed my blonde hair back from where it was caught under the strap. I tried to act casual but my hands shook. I was nervous to ask but I had my answer.

“So you don’t remember what you said?”

“What did I say?” he questioned, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

“You…you mentioned…” I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t repeat what he said to me, if he didn’t remember. The embarrassment of him telling me one more time he didn’t love me, after he drunkenly said he did, was more than I could handle.

“Never mind,” I blurted. “You were pretty drunk. I’m sure you didn’t mean it.”

We both paused. Abel waited for more, but I had nothing else to add.

“You better not keep Keli waiting. She looks like a starving girl.” I sneered, looking her up and down as she stood a few feet away from us, observing her face in a compact mirror.

“Well, she’s actually taking me to lunch,” he said, shifting his bag over his shoulder and turning to face Keli. “For once, I’m not paying.” With those words, he walked away from me.

As time passed, I grew more anxious about the fight. It was one week before finals, and I could barely concentrate on schoolwork. I was going to fail human anatomy, anyway. I’d hardly done any research for the final project, and we had one last dissection as an assessment, the infamous cat dissection. My partners were the same two guys from the beginning of the semester. We’d come to a quiet agreement to work and not talk. While I was originally in their zone as the geek guy, I had surpassed them with my newfound popularity. It was awkward as they knew nothing of the fights, not even enough to fake a conversation. I wasn’t good at small talk anyway. So we kept our heads down and worked. I had pulled my weight in the last few labs, but I didn’t know the material for this one. It was hard to concentrate when Elma was in the room.

After our encounter in the hallway, where she asked me to attend her dance recital, and I had to refuse because of the fight, she hadn’t spoken to me again. In a way, her invitation was an olive branch. I should have reached for it. I should have wrapped it in my hands and held it tight, but I didn’t. I made my sarcastic comment about lunch with Keli, and crushed that branch into powder. I missed Elma. She’d been a friend, and despite my new popularity, I didn’t have anyone outside of Creed, who’d been pursuing Lindee to no avail.