Paragenesis: Stories of the Dawn of Wraeththu (28 page)

I took an involuntary step
back, shocked by the detail I’d picked up from his unfocused
sending.

“Jeaki!” I yelled.

Getting no response, I tried
sending to Ashlem instead. There was no reply. I began to fear that
he had been removed and that I was left with no one who understood
what I was going through.

*I’m here* came a faint sleepy
reply *Wait... Are you in the Nayati? In the room, where we first
met?*

*Yes.*

*Be careful. I set up that room
to have some odd properties. Keep things simple, and don’t put too
much effort into your sendings.* he instructed. *Now, what’s
up?*

*Jeaki’s deranged. He’s trying
to think male thoughts only.* I replied, concentrating as gently as
I could on each word.

*You will have to be more
ouana... more male... than he is, If you are dominant, his soume
instincts might respond*

*I’ll try*

Recalling that Hart was
watching I turned to face the glass wall.“You need to get Ashlem in
here with him; he’d know what to say.” I said.

“You think a streetscum like
Six can cure Fifteen by just talking to him? The problem is
physiological, not psychological.”

Hart was so obvious, hoping to
goad me into revealing things. Unfortunately my concern for Jeaki
overrode my common sense.

“You’ll just have to take my
word for it. As you say, Jeaki’s mind and his brain don’t quite
match up right now and its possib....”

Jeaki slammed against the
plastic barrier, the sound loud enough to startle me. The impact
had sent white fault-lines radiating across the transparent wall,
another slam like that and Jeaki would break something. I couldn’t
block out the insane mix of hate and lust generated by his mind. He
headbutted the reinforced glass screen again, and again. He was...
I closed my eyes unable to watch, but there was no relief. I could
feel his mind; he’d chosen death rather than embrace his new
emotions. The next thump was also a squelch, abruptly the emotional
storm faded from my mind.

I sagged to my knees and
touched the glass watching, with insane fascination as parts of my
dead friend’s brain slithered down the wall. A hand touched my
shoulder; I pushed Hart away surging back to my feet.

“Stay away from me! Monster!
You let that happen. We’re done. Finished. ”

They led me back to my room, I
found myself back in a soume mood-swing, crying my eyes out with
compassion for poor mind-damaged Jeaki. The depth of my feelings
shocked me. I began wondering if I wasn’t swinging off the female
end almost as badly as Jeaki had been off the male.

*You’re fine. Your mind is just
playing in its new garden.* reassured Ashlem, his mental sending
sharp and clear *Now, show me what happened*

His demand for a tactical
update seemed to call to my ouana- side, and I found my body and
mind reverting to the more familiar thought pattern as easily as
blinking.

I pictured the scene in my head
and sent the whole memory to Ash as if it were a movie.

*I’m so sorry you had to
witness that Sixteen.* he sent, his mind full of compassion edged
with ruthlessness *Jeaki rejected the gift, its better he didn’t
linger*

*It’s ok, I think I understand.
At the end, that wasn’t the real Jeaki, it was like a fragment
pretending it was whole*

*Exactly. I’m impressed, that
you’re ‘getting it’ so soon. Some hara take months to get that
perceptive.*

*Was I really as self-obsessed
as they are?* I asked, more of myself than Ashlem.

*I have no idea. I have after
all only met you the once.*

*Ash... (It felt natural now to
use a short-form of his name.) I’ve just realised. They have no
intention of putting us in the same room.*

*Don’t worry, I’ve always
assumed that they wouldn’t want us together; I’m far too dangerous
in their eyes. All I’ve been waiting for is for you to be ready to
take the final step. You have to be willing, or it’s a perversion,
a rape. I’m no rapist.*

I shifted my weight
uncomfortably, at the reminder of what that ‘final step’
involved.

Everything was moving so fast
and I wished like hell that I had more time. Despite Ash’s
assurance that he didn’t want to force the issue, there was an
undercurrent of urgency to his sendings that made it clear that I
was going to have to get over my squeamishness soon, damn soon.

*Alright, damn it, I’ll do it*
I sent

*Your words are saying yes but
your emotions are still saying ‘no, no, no’. Let me know when you
change your mind.* he replied, his sending glowing with humour

*Ok, assuming that I do work up
the courage, what next? They aren’t going to let you out, and
they’re going to be even less happy if you let yourself out. I
can’t see how you’re going to pull this off.*

*Relax; I’ve had over a week to
prepare. They have no idea how outclassed they are. I could have
built the magaric equivalent of a battleship and they wouldn’t know
it.*

*Sorry, ‘magaric’ What’s
that?*

*Let’s just say the graffiti
isn’t for decoration*

I recalled the weird tingling,
otherness and how the sendings had been boosted. I felt another of
those ‘thunk’ moments as another massive chunk of my dreams stopped
being meaningless fantasy and became solid precognition. I had seen
the future, seen myself twisting reality, calling upon deities and
defending my tribe. It meant I must have survived more than a few
days; which meant sooner or later I’d be saying ‘yes’ and meaning
it.

*Sixteen? What’s wrong?*

*Did I tell you I get
precognitions?*

*A seer, really? But that’s
marvellous!* he replied, full of genuine awe.

*It is for you, it means I’m
going to have to make that decision. Leave me alone now, I need to
work up some courage, ok?*

*Ok*

I stripped, made a mess in the
vicinity of the toilet determined that I would master certain
things without ever, ever, asking Ash’s advice. After that, I stood
in front of the shaving mirror, gripping the basin, looking at
myself, really looking. The big changes had overshadowed the
smaller, more subtle ones and I hadn’t wanted to look in mirrors
earlier. I couldn’t help wondering how the cosmetics industry would
react if they found out that there was an instant cure for
ugliness, stubble and acne. Who could resist my newfound
beauty?

After that I tried pacing up
and down and then procrastinated by tidying the room. I ended up on
my bed, watching a fly moving randomly near the ceiling.

*Ash?* I sent *I’m ready*

A second later the fly I’d been
watching dropped like a stone, bouncing off my cheek and onto the
pillow.

I brushed the fly away,
disgusted.

*Get down here as fast as you
can. This is going to be tight.*

Glory! Was he dominant when he
wanted to be!

I started out walking slowly,
trying to look like I was on normal business. That lasted until I
saw the first CGS guard slumped against the wall snoring loudly.
Seeing the body, I accelerated my pace to a sprint, hammering down
the stairs, past Ms Jenson, slumped over the front desk.

It had to be Ash’s work, but I
had no idea how. I was used to things working in a regular sort of
everyday way, and the only explanation that seemed plausible was
that everyone had been gassed. But if that was the case, why was I
ok? And how could Ash have gotten hold of the stuff and released it
into the air conditioning? That seemed to indicate he had
accomplices, but if he did, why did he need me?

I was completely wrong of
course.

The elevator ride seemed to
take forever, and I began to wonder if the mechanism had become
damaged in some mysterious way. Finally the bell ‘dinged’ and I was
racing through the Institute’s lowest levels.

*Where are you?* I sent.

*Third door past the
Nayati*
Ash replied, clearly expending vast effort.

I slid to a stop in front of
the door, only then noticing that I was barefoot.

“I’m here!” I said out loud,
slapping my hand against the metal

“Good,” Ashlem replied clearly.
It seemed almost strange now for us to be talking aloud. “You
remember I ‘touched’ your hand a few days ago? Place that hand over
the lock”

Shrugging, I placed my hand
over the swipe card slot.

“Ow!” I yelled as a bolt of
static leapt from my fingertips and released the lock.

“What the hell was that?” I
demanded rubbing my hand.

“Agmara, the energy of the
soul,” Ash explained. “I put a bit of my life-force in you as part
of a linking majhahn, It’s how I was able to send to you over such
a long range.”

The door swung open and Ash
emerged. “Right, now we go to the Nayati” he said, and hugged me
briefly, which left me feeling better than it had a right to.

“I don’t understand” I said
following him into the room with its blood encrusted walls, the
place we’d first met.

“When I was first captured they
kept me in this room,” Ash said. “I figured that they’d keep me
here permanently so this was where I started building my Nayati...
There’s no word for it in English. It’s a focusing point, a place
to meditate and a place to do impossible things. By shedding blood
to draw the design, I gradually built up a small store of agmara
here. I then... oh, pelk it, the jargon can wait! Basically, I set
it so that it would steal ten minutes of sleep every night from
everyone in the building. When you signalled that you were ready, I
reversed it and it gave them back their displaced nap time. Because
reality doesn’t like to be cheated, it’s giving them their dreams
in one solid burst.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Really.”

“So why are we still here and
not legging it for the hills?”

“Two reasons. Firstly, this is,
for the want of a better phrase, sacred ground, or at least as
close as we’re going to get. If we were doing this properly, we’d
be within the tribal Nayati, The Great Harhunai Yasat Unneah. It’d
be a big ceremony, singing, flowers, well-wishers, powerful
protective majhahns, the whole nine yards. We don’t have that, so
it’s safest to finish the inception here.”

“And the second reason?” I
asked, feeling overwhelmed despite Ash’s attempt not to use
‘jargon’.

“I’ll explain later” he
replied, his face turning serious, but not quite sombre.

It was time, I could feel
it.

*Are you ready?*

*Yes*
I sent, and this
time I knew that my emotions truly matched my thoughts.

“Sending is better than
talking,” Ash said. “We can’t lie that way. But we Wraeththu have a
third method of communication that surpasses both, when two of us
are... close. It’s called sharing breath.”

Leaning close he gently
exhaled. His breath swirled across my lips like the gentlest of
breezes. What happened between us wasn’t only on the physical
level, it was in my mind as well, full of colour, and smell, and
sensations, and sounds, mixing into me, like water with
brightly-coloured oil; intertwining and mingling, but never
merging.

I sighed blissfully,
inadvertently sending something of myself back at Ash. Our lips and
minds touched. It was like waves lapping gently against the shore.
First his mind would surge onto the beach of mine, and then I would
be the wave lapping against his. I thought that it should go on
forever, but at last it ended, and I was back in the Nayati.
Strands of my mind gradually slithered back into place like the
fronds of anemone retreating from the low tide.

“Nice symbolism,” said Ash,
smiling.

Our hands had clearly been as
busy as our minds; both Ash’s rags and my robe had been discarded
as we shared ourselves. I looked down at myself, willing away any
pretence of masculinity that my body might have. My body obeyed my
desires, adapting.

Gently, Ashlem har Unneah
pulled me unresisting toward that ultimate embrace.

Some things shouldn’t be
described; some things are beyond that and devalued by the attempt
to describe. What we did next is one such thing. It is called aruna
in the language of our race, the act of selflessness that can
create life or pleasure, or power unlimited. It is as different
from human sex as the sun’s fusion is from a candle flame.

I rested, panting, my body
slick with sweat, wrapped in Ash’s enfolding arms.

I wasn’t human anymore, not
even slightly. I fully understood and embraced that fact now. The
thin red line between ‘us’ and ‘them’ was now a yawning chasm into
which the entire human race could fall, as far as I was
concerned.

This then was the secret of
Wraeththu. To explain all of it to a human would not only be wrong,
it would be impossible; they are physically incapable of
understanding. No human spy will ever infiltrate us, for the act of
infiltration would also be a rebirth.

Ash rolled off me. I could see
the Nayati was glowing. I shut my eyes and I could still see that
radiance. I experimented, blinking. The patterns Ash had drawn
seemed to fill the room now, not just drawn on the walls but
drifting in the air around us.

“Your eyes aren’t seeing that,
your mind is,” Ash said. “I told you about agmara; well sacrifices
of blood such as I did are relatively weak.
Aruna,
what we
just did... now that is a serious energy source.

“We... recharged it?”

“More of a supercharge than a
recharge. All that pleasure you were radiating is now energy at our
disposal.”

“Awesome, so... the humans can
sleep on and we’ll escape? Brilliant!”

“Not quite that simple. I only
stole a finite amount of sleep from them.
Now,
you’d better get your robe back on, you’re going to have to sprint,
we’ll need every spare second.” He offered me his hand to pull me
upright. “I need you to find Jeaki’s body and bring it here. We
never leave our dead for humans to find.”