Paragenesis: Stories of the Dawn of Wraeththu (45 page)

The response was automatic; he
gracefully rose to his feet and began to scrub himself.

I stepped back to observe.
There was nothing unusual about his method. Then again, I thought
to myself, probably monkeys could learn to wash themselves. It
wasn’t a difficult thing. Call me cold, but finding out where
Sphinx had come from had drastically reduced my estimate of him. I
hadn’t brought back a choice inceptee – I’d brought back a sick lab
animal.

All the same, even through that
fog of misgivings, I couldn’t help developing some positive
impressions. As Rock had said, the boy had a fine body, with narrow
hips and a broad, yet slender, chest, and a lovely neck dripping
with his curls. His humanity kept me from wanting him in the true
sense, but my systems were charged nonetheless. But would he ever
be har?

Sphinx finished washing. He
didn’t look at me or say anything, but stood waiting. I took up the
towel and leaned into the shower past him to turn off the
water.

When I said “Here, let me,” I
wasn’t even thinking. He didn’t resist, but let me dry him off like
a child. The feel of his shoulder muscles beneath my hands was
enough to bring me fully ouana.

I stepped away and slowly
exhaled. “You must stop this,” I said to myself, out loud but
quietly. Stretching my arm as far as it would go, I offered the
towel to Sphinx, hoping he could finish off himself. Luckily for
me, he did, and by the time he was through I’d managed to get
myself in order.

By then the dinner hour was
fast approaching. I held out the shirt and Sphinx came right up and
put it on. It was the same for the rest of the clothes and in a
couple of minutes we were through.
At least the boy isn’t a
complete imbecile
, I thought, a tiny bit relieved.

But time for dinner. I took his
hand. “We’re going to eat now,” I announced. “Just follow along and
soon we’ll be having the grandest meal in town.” I didn’t know if
he understood a word, but when I began to walk down the aisle, he
followed right along.

Food on the Table

Sphinx

Growling stomach as the doors
went by. So many doors. The doorknobs round and golden, like golden
apples. I passed so many of them, quickly, as I went... went
somewhere
. It was upstairs, up several stairs, down halls,
and then a big door, with another shiny golden apple doorknob.

The one with me knocked and the
door opened. Some slim shadow person moved out of the way. Besides
the shadow, only two people were at the table. It was a big table –
with food on it.
Dinner
. My eyes understood what my ears had
not. I followed along and sat down quickly, willingly.

It was the first food I’d seen
all day. I tried to reach for some of the bread in the basket next
to me but somebody grabbed my arm. No bread, had to wait. Waiting I
knew – knew if I didn’t, something would happen – something bad. So
instead of taking the food, I
saw
the people.

A golden man looked at me, from
across the table. He had golden eyes, hair, shirt, everything gold.
In the sun he would have made shining warm light. In the light
inside, his eyes were cold.

Next to him was the one who’d
brought me. I had not looked at him much before. Golden hair, too,
like the other one, but dark clothes. He was smiling as he said
something to the last man.

The last man was right next to
me. He wasn’t so much a man as something else, like some kind of
machine. People give off energy and he gave off a lot of it. And
the way he was looking at me, I felt the energy come in my
direction.

Something, something,
something
, he said, and took up a fork to eat. Waiting was over
and for me, he was gone, or might as well have been. I grabbed a
piece of bread. Meat. Something green. No more looking at people,
just eating.

Then, just as I took my first
bite of bread:
It’s you.

The Turning Point

Heart

That dinner had turned into a
disaster. Or so it seemed at first, as the four of us sat at the
table, three of us talking, Thorn to the side, serving, and Sphinx
attacking his food like a hungry wolf.

I had half-expected Manifest to
either shout or laugh me into the hallway as soon as he saw what
Sphinx was like. But even though he hadn’t done that, I was still
tense, waiting for the inevitable attack on my judgment. I had made
a poor decision and I was waiting to be called on it. There was
no way
Sphinx was any kind of choice recruit.

Manifest didn’t seem ready to
make any snap decisions, however – despite the fact Sphinx hadn’t
spoken a word, didn’t appear to be listening to anything (said or
said to him), and had absolutely horrendous table manners. Instead,
Manifest calmly ate his dinner, passing idle conversation while
staring at Sphinx intently.

“So this is the one,” he said
finally, pushing his plate away. “I mean, this is
the
one
.”

“Excuse me?” I straightened in
my seat. “This is the one I told you about, if that’s what you
mean.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“He doesn’t speak, Manifest.
He’s–”

“
Abnormal,
” Luster
sneered. “Jeez, Heart, how could you?”

I bowed my head, ready to
accept my superiors’ fury. “Yes. He is. I found out…
after
I
brought him back here… that he used to live in a mental
institution. There were stamps inside his clothes. I think he might
be autistic or something.”

Luster burst out laughing – the
hard sinister, gloating laugh we all hated. “I don’t believe it,
Heart. You
idiot!
The ‘best, the strongest, the wildest’ –
well, maybe this one
is
wild, but not how we meant – and you
go picking up some freak who–”

“Shut up!” Manifest snapped,
making Luster flinch. “Not another word, Luster. Now, tell me more,
Heart.
All
of it.”

And so I started over from the
beginning, in detail. I began with the burning houses and worked up
to the shower, omitting only my own arousal. I was still afraid
Manifest would round on me sooner or later and I didn’t want to
look even more foolish.

As I told my story, I studied
my companions’ expressions, the tone of their questions. Luster
alternately rolled his eyes and scowled, apparently ready to call
me an idiot first chance he got. Manifest, though… He was getting
even more agitated than he had the first time I’d told him. When I
described Sphinx praying in the shower, he went completely
rigid.

He didn’t move a muscle until I
was finished. Then he said: “It’s him.”

My face must have gone blank as
pavement. I glanced over to Luster, who appeared similarly
baffled.

He spoke first. “
Him
?
It’s him? It’s him
what
?”

Manifest didn’t respond. He was
studying Sphinx again. By now the boy was long through with his
dinner. For some minutes, he’d been playing with a shiny spoon.

“OK, you two,” Manifest began.
“I understand – you don’t know, you don’t feel it the way I do… so
let me explain.”

He folded his arms together,
resting them on the table, and leaned forward, as if he was going
to share a secret. Which he did.

“All day long I’ve been…
anxious,” he admitted. “You both know that. What you don’t know is
why.” He paused and looked up at the ceiling. “It started right
about the time we first arrived in town, before we had even
launched our first attacks. This feeling of anticipation, as if
something special, some
turning point
, was going to happen
and everything was going to change.”

“For our tribe?” Luster asked.
“Because if you mean that, why of course–”

All Manifest had to do was
glare and Luster shut up. “No. I mean… Well, you’ll see what I
mean.
If
you let me talk. Let’s see… Yes, well, every day
I’d go about my business and this feeling kept growing. It wasn’t a
bad feeling, like being scared, it was just this nagging feeling of
‘Something’s going to happen.’ I had no idea what, except every
time I went around to check things out – in town, in the changing
rooms, just day-to-day stuff, I got this feeling that we were
coming up to some kind of turning point. And I think we’ve reached
it.”

“What makes you think that?” I
dared ask. “Obviously you’ve learned something specific, or you
wouldn’t be so obsessed with this boy here.”

Manifest cracked a smile.
“You’re right. I have learned something. Came to me in a dream.” He
laughed, eyeing our no doubt surprised expressions. “I know, and
you thought I was a completely practical, pragmatic har. I
am
, you know, but we’re not men, are we? We are more than
that, we’ve got magic and more besides, and last night I think I
got a glimpse of what that can mean.

“I had trouble sleeping at
first. That feeling of ‘Something’s coming’ had grown so big I
wasn’t just thinking about it now and then, but I was turning it
over and over in my head, all the time. What was coming? Could I do
something to make it happen? Should I maybe be more scared of it? I
must’ve finally conked out though, because next thing I knew it was
at least a couple of hours later and my head was full of the most
potent dreams I’ve ever had.

“I can’t explain it except to
say that, Heart, you’ve brought in the har – the boy,
now
–
I dreamt about. The things you’ve told me – the fire, running, the
praying – and the things you haven’t told me, but I can
feel
… it’s just like the dream. I won’t say I saw a face,
but when I look at that boy, I know it’s
him
.”

There was a silence, and then
Luster cleared his throat. “You say ‘the boy,
now
,’ tiahaar.
Can I take from this that you are considering incepting him? Surely
you can’t be–”

“I’m not going to tell you to
shut up again, Luster.” Manifest looked to me, apparently feeling
I’d be more likely to agree with him. “That’s the next step, Heart.
We’ve got to incept him.”

I chose my response carefully.
“Do you really think that’s, um,
wise
, Manifest? Or
possible?”

“Possible? Well, of course it’s
possible! As for it being wise, yes, absolutely, I believe it is.
You want to know why, Heart?”

I nodded, having no idea where
he was leading.

He took my hand and squeezed.
“Because at the end of the dream there was a vision, a certainty of
feeling, that this
person
I was dreaming of had become
har
. A very special, powerful har. And I saw him taking
aruna –
with you
.”

A flash of adolescence came
back to me and I blushed. “Um…” I said, searching for words.
“That’s very
interesting
, tiahaar.”

Manifest still had my hand, and
with it he pulled me to my feet. “You like the idea, admit it. Yes…
I can sense that you do. It’s all right, Heart, he’s yours.”

I felt a little faint. I rubbed
my face with my other hand. “Thanks.”

Luster, who’d shrunk up and
stayed quiet since being snapped at, finally spoke up. “So this
inception – when’s it going to happen?”

Manifest let go of my hand and
moved to stand behind Sphinx, who’d stopped playing with the spoon
and was simply staring at the table. “We will have him wait all
through tomorrow, with a full fast. Then tomorrow night, we incept
him.”

Luster was frowning. “We’ve got
a round of boys who might not be done with their althaia by
tomorrow. Shouldn’t this boy wait for the next round?”

“Absolutely not!” Manifest
snapped.

This time I jumped. “Um, what
are your plans?” I asked, recovering my composure.

“Yes,” Luster chimed in. “Did
you get special plans from your
dream
?”

Manifest sighed (probably
wanting to tell him to shut up again). “No, actually this is
something I’ve been thinking for some time.” He went back to his
chair and rested his hands on the back of it. “This mass incepting
we’re doing in the changing room. It’s working well, better than it
used to, but I think we could do even better. The attendants –
they’re helping. The different medicines we’ve been experimenting
with – I think those are making a difference, too. But doing that
many at once, with only really a couple of helpers? And the way
they all still suffer so badly? Surely we can do better.”

“But what about the fact we
want only the strong to survive?” Luster questioned. This was a
major part of the philosophy of inception – if you didn’t survive
althaia, you weren’t meant to be har.

“I think only the strong
will
survive,” Manifest replied, “but I don’t think it’s
necessary for everyone who gets incepted to come out the other side
feeling like he’s been through some kind of damn war or torture
session!” At this he stepped back from the chair, surprised at his
own outburst, I think. “Sorry, it’s just something I’ve been
thinking about. I guess it all fits in with this being a turning
point. Things are going to change around here, and I think it
starts with this boy.

“I wouldn’t want him to go
through the normal procedure. I’d guess that to be how he is, he’s
already had plenty of bad stuff happen to him, and living in a
mental ward,
seen
a lot of bad stuff too. I think if anybody
needs a special inception, with
special
care, it’s him. And
if he comes out the other side fully incepted and at least no
different than he is now – which he won’t, because I
know
he
won’t – then he’ll have been our test subject for what we do in the
future.”

He picked up his wine glass and
gestured for us to do the same. Thorn stepped over towards us with
the wine bottle and poured. Manifest raised his glass in a toast.
“To the turning point.” We chinked our glasses, and glanced down at
Sphinx. The boy had fallen asleep.