Parallel Heat (44 page)

‘‘It’s okay, Marco,’’ she promised. ‘‘Don’t you see? It must be because of what I am. Don’t be afraid—it’s okay.’’

Very slowly he lifted his head, still slumped forward on his knees. When their gazes locked, she finally understood how feral he had become—how threatened and raw. Her own first Change had nearly sent her past the brink of sanity, it had been so at odds with her Refarian body. Obviously Marco felt exactly as she once had.

Stroking his shoulder, she pressed soft kisses against his forehead. ‘‘There’s nothing to be afraid of,’’ she reassured him, but the wild look in his dark eyes only intensified.

‘‘Don’t you get it?’’ he asked in a frighteningly quiet voice. ‘‘Don’t you see, Thea?’’

She shook her head, a hollow sensation forming in her chest. It reminded her of other conversations they’d had, all of which had begun with this same terrible prescience.

Leaning back on his knees, he reached for her, tugging her forcefully against his body. Her face met a muscled chest coated in the sheen of sex. Of Changing and mating.

‘‘You didn’t make me what you are, baby,’’ he told her gruffly. ‘‘You know it’s not possible.’’

She shoved his words aside. Of course it had to be possible! She’d simply never read it before anywhere, or heard it, but it had to be what had happened, because otherwise—

‘‘Marco?’’ she croaked, pulling back to gaze up into his beautiful, velvet-lashed eyes. Eyes that had always reminded her of nothing so much as . . . Jared’s. ‘‘What are you saying?’’

His entire body blazed hot, trembling against hers, but he remained silent. His eyes sent her a thousand words, none of which she could seem to hear. ‘‘Tell me,’’ she begged. ‘‘Please, just tell me.’’

His eyes drifted shut and he whispered, ‘‘I am D’Aravni.’’

 
They hadn’t finished soulmating. Odd, but that was the disconnected, shocked thought that slammed through Thea’s mind.
We have to finish! We’re not fully mated yet.

‘‘Did you hear me?’’ he asked her in a chilling, calm voice.

She bobbed her head up and down, blinking, trying anything to process what he’d just stated so boldly. ‘‘How?’’ she finally managed to gulp.

Both black eyebrows shot up, a vague look of amusement coming over his face. ‘‘I don’t think
how
is really the question, baby.’’

‘‘I mean, how can you possibly be D’Aravnian? Jared is the only one of his line alive—the very last of his line, Marco. But you just Changed. You touched me with your fire—you
are
D’Aravni!’’ She began to laugh hysterically. ‘‘By All it’s true! Amazing, wonderful!’’ She tugged him into a fierce embrace. ‘‘I mean, it’s my greatest dream come true, but . . . just tell me how!’’

‘‘I never knew,’’ he murmured against the top of her head, showering her with kisses. ‘‘Never knew, baby, until yesterday.’’

‘‘But that makes you—’’

‘‘I’m Jared’s half brother,’’ he confessed, sounding guilty and stricken—not joyous like she felt. ‘‘Sabrina never told me. I didn’t keep it from you.’’

‘‘Of course not,’’ she blurted, a thousand bits of cosmic awareness piercing her mind. If Jared had a half brother, did he know? Why hadn’t Marco known? Questions came at her faster than she could voice them.

Clasping her by both shoulders, he pulled back to stare at her intently. ‘‘Jared must never know, Thea, all right? He can never know. This stays between us.’’

‘‘But you have to tell him, Marco—promise me you will,’’ she beseeched. ‘‘All his life he’s been alone—to learn that he has a brother—and gods, we have a prince!’’ She babbled on and on at him, but his face only grew more shadowed with anxiety. ‘‘Jared must learn he has a brother.’’

‘‘A brother who is his servant,’’ he amended softly, bowing his head. ‘‘A brother who is pledged to him, branded as his Madjin. A brother who is, quite simply, not of his station or class.’’

‘‘That’s
meshdki.’’

‘‘It’s true, Thea—you know everything that I am. Hell, you became one with me during our sealing ceremony. Your wrist still burns from the branding.’’

‘‘It didn’t make me someone that I’m not.’’

‘‘And I’m not a prince.’’

‘‘Jared’s brother would be second in line to the throne.’’

With a quiet cry of anguish, Marco declared, ‘‘You have to promise me that he’ll never know.’’

She shook her head, even as she heard herself agree to his terrible bargain. Relief washed over his dark-skinned face—a face that from the very first time had always reminded her of Jared’s. Of course, she hadn’t imagined a familial connection possible between them; there’d never been any mention of another living D’Aravni.

A D’Aravni! Her mate and husband was the one other soul she’d craved for her entire life. ‘‘I can’t believe it.’’ She touched her flushed face in wonder. ‘‘All this time, my whole life, Marco, I’ve thought Jared was the one for me. That he was my intended mate, that he was the man I loved when . . .’’

But the words she’d spoken in an outpouring of love for Marco died on her lips; his face blanched, his mouth pulled tight, and he jerked backward from her as if she’d just scalded him.

When all along I was waiting to fall in love with you,
she wanted to finish, but the wounded look on his face silenced her.

‘‘You loved Jared? You love him? What are you really saying, Thea?’’

She waved her hands between them as if she could recall the words. ‘‘No, that’s not what I mean,’’ she rushed to explain. ‘‘My whole life I thought I loved Jared—I was promised to him as an infant, you know.’’

His expression grew icy. ‘‘No. I didn’t know.’’

‘‘Of course, we were cousins, it was always meant to be.’’

‘‘You love Jared,’’ he repeated, piercing her with his hard gaze. ‘‘Love my king, my lord. You
love
him, Thea?’’

‘‘You’re not listening to me!’’ she shouted, frustration and fear boiling over.

He pounced to his feet in the space of a moment, backing away from her. ‘‘I understand just fine, wife. You love my brother. He was the one you waited and waited for—’’

‘‘That’s
not
what I’m saying.’’

‘‘I understand perfectly.’’ And he was gone from the room before she could even go after him.

 
Thea woke to find Marco still missing from their bed; for hours she’d lain hoping for his return, but finally drifted into a fitful sleep. A glance at the clock showed it to be almost four a.m. But where would he have gone for so long? Had he stayed down at the base on this, their wedding night? Was he really that angry and hurt with her—upset enough to stay away rather than sealing their mating rites? She couldn’t understand how he’d misunderstood her to such disastrous proportions. He’d never even given her a chance to explain! Wailing, terrible pain bubbled up inside of her, and there seemed no possible way to express it.

Leaping out of bed, her bare feet met icy-cold hardwood, her naked body shivering. Glancing around the bedroom for additional clothing, her gaze fell on Marco’s parka, hastily discarded on the foot of their bed.

So he is here,
she thought, walking purposefully toward the main living room that adjoined their sleeping chamber. She found him there on the sofa, his jaw set in cool determination, his curling hair disheveled and wild.

‘‘Marco?’’ she whispered, holding onto the door frame tremulously. ‘‘When did you come in?’’ He said nothing, so she took a tentative step closer. ‘‘I wish you’d come to bed with me,’’ she pressed, but he only grunted in reply, nothing more.

He’d never before treated her so coolly, not even when he’d been telling her they couldn’t be together. At least then he’d displayed something of his gentler nature; right now, he was only showing her one thing: his left profile.

‘‘You’ve got a black eye.’’

His full mouth tensed into a hard line, and she had a strange flash of trying to soothe a
Varakeesa
, a tiny multicolored bird that had populated their home world. As a girl, she’d spent hours in her mother’s garden trying to tame one.
Move slowly, Haven. Infinitesimal progress is all it takes.

‘‘I hit it on the door frame when I left the guesthouse. Cut my eyebrow on the fucking latch.’’

‘‘I could heal it,’’ she suggested gently.

‘‘Don’t bother.’’

‘‘So you want to stay bruised and injured like this? That’s smart.’’
Another step closer, edging there, edging.

He cut his dusky eyes sideways at her; it was the look of a man who believed himself betrayed. For the briefest moment, she felt the physical sensation of Marco’s entire body as if it were her very own. The throbbing in his jaw from the battle at Warren; the swollen pressure behind his eye; the hot pain in his left wrist. Experiencing a moment of heightened empathy with him, now of all times when he was so hurt and angry, nearly suffocated her. Oh, he was in pain all right, a great deal of pain, and not just in his body.

‘‘Look at your face, Marco,’’ she muttered, needing so desperately to touch him, even though she knew to keep her distance. ‘‘Please let me heal you. I
need
to heal you. I feel how it hurts.’’

‘‘Like hell.’’

‘‘It hurts like hell?’’ she asked, confused.

‘‘No, Thea,’’ he answered, with what was obviously very forced patience, ‘‘I mean, like
hell
am I allowing my . . .
wife
’’—he speared her with his midnight gaze—‘‘my lifemate . . . m-my . . .
cousin
to heal me!’’ he sputtered furiously. ‘‘Like hell you’re going to touch me.’’

‘‘So that’s your answer?’’ she murmured, feeling tears sting her eyes.

‘‘I’ll see the medics later.’’

‘‘Why not see your wife right now?’’

‘‘Because I’m not sure what to think about my wife,’’ he said. ‘‘Not after last night.’’

She threw up her hands. ‘‘How can you say that to me? After all that we’ve shared, Marco? With as much as I love you, how can you possibly say such a cruel thing to me?’’

‘‘I-I thought I was your first love,’’ he blurted, spreading one hand over his heart.

‘‘That’s what I thought, Thea. I thought what we had was special. That I was the only man you’d
ever
wanted like this!’’ With a quiet cry of anguish, he buried his face in his hands.

‘‘Marco!’’ She moved quickly, dropping to her knees in front of him. ‘‘You know what you mean to me!’’ She placed her palms on his knees, trying to get through to him. Trying anything to get the damned, stubborn man just to understand.

‘‘But you loved him first.’’ He dropped his hands away from his face, looking her in the eye. ‘‘You loved my brother before you loved me. How can I ever forget that?’’

She laughed, rubbing her hands over his muscular thighs. ‘‘For an empath, Marco, you can be unbelievably dense.’’

‘‘What’s that supposed to mean?’’ His black eyebrows furrowed into a scowl.

‘‘It means you
were
my first love.’’

He shook his head. ‘‘Last night, you told me that you had loved Jared, that—’’

She cut him off. ‘‘Words mean everything, remember?’’ she reminded him. ‘‘That’s part of a Madjin’s training—you were the one who taught me that. ‘Words have life.’”She paused, waiting for him to interrupt, to object or say something, but he did not. So, taking hold of his shoulders, she leaned up onto her knees and pressed her face close to his.

‘‘I said I
thought
I was in love with Jared.
Thought.
Until I met you, and then I realized there was this giant hole inside of me, this place that was so hungry, just searching for a man of the D’Aravni line. It was as if I knew I was supposed to wait on you—but then you didn’t come . . .’’ She had to swallow hard before she could continue. ‘‘When you didn’t come, Marco, I mistook Jared for you. You see, you aren’t my first love’’—she paused, gathering both of his large, dusky hands within her own—‘‘you’re my only love.’’

Squeezing her hands, he leaned forward until their noses were practically touching, until she could feel his hot breath against her face and until she could inhale his familiar, woodsy scent in her nostrils. Gods, how she loved even the very smell of her mate, the way he always seemed to have just come in from the fresh air and the trails. ‘‘I love you,’’ she whispered again. ‘‘More than I could have ever imagined it was possible to love another person.’’

‘‘You make me crazy, Thea. It frightens me, what I feel for you,’’ he admitted, releasing her hands. He slipped his muscular arms around her, rubbing his fingers along the base of her neck. ‘‘It’s too much, too out of control, too . . . overpowering. And this fire in you, well, it makes me hunger for a lot more too.’’

‘‘More?’’ She didn’t dare hope that he meant awakening his D’Aravnian side; not when he’d been so frightened by it the night before.

His breathing grew heavy against her cheek as for long moments he said nothing; when he did speak, his voice was thick with unconcealed emotion. ‘‘I crave to be myself with you, Thea. Both selves. I want to understand it, what it means when I’m with you—and I want to understand the fire I feel inside whenever I gaze upon your beautiful, sexy, D’Ashanian self.

Heat infused her cheeks at his frank admission.“I would love that,’’ she whispered huskily in his ear. ‘‘Would love to see how gorgeous you really, truly are.’’

He pulled back, and his black gaze shone with emotion and desire—power, too. His other nature had already begun to rouse from its lifelong slumber, she could tell. ‘‘And,’’ he admitted, his gaze never wavering from hers, ‘‘I would love to know what lovemaking could really be for us in our other form.’’

Thea’s lips parted, and she really did think she was going to say something. But not one word came to mind. All she could do was stare in wonder at her beautiful, strong husband. A prince! She had married a prince; and, as it happened, not just any prince. The prince of her heart. ‘‘I can show you how. To make your Change again, I mean, to learn how to control it, not just let it happen out of arousal and fear like it did last night.’’