Part Time Marriage (20 page)

'I'm fine, Noah, honestly,' she lied.

Her hands had been resting on the coverlet and his answer was to reach forward and take both her hands in his. `That's what your big eyes and whiteface are all about, are they?' he probed gently, and she wished he wouldn't use that gentle tone-it weakened her, causing her to feel all emotional and weepy.

'I'm fine,' she repeated, in panic lest she should cry all over him. 'And-and there's no need, no need at all, f-for you to be here,' she said in a rush. `I...' She ran out of steam, and felt exhausted suddenly. `Oh, Noah!' she wailed.

In the next second she found he had moved nearer to the bed head and, sitting next to her, had reached for her and was cradling her in his arms. `What is it, my darling?' he crooned against her ear.

`D-don't be nice to me-I'll be in tears.'

`Oh, we can't have that,' Noah decided, and, for all the world as if he needed to get closer to her, in the next few seconds he had shrugged out of his jacket, removed his tie and shoes, and was sitting alongside of her on the bed, once more gathering her into his arms. `Now, tell me all about it,' he murmured against her hair-and Elexa came closer than ever to blubbering all over him.

`It was kind of you to phone,' she said, swallowing hard and making a determined effort.

`Why wouldn't I?' Noah asked, holding her to him with one arm while stroking her hair back from her forehead with his other hand. `My best girl was about to go through an interview that meant a great deal to her.' His best girl! She knew he was teasing her because she looked so washed out, and that he was being teasing and kind from the sensitivity she had witnessed in him. `B-best girl,' she repeated, liking the sound of that so much. `C-could we be friends, do you think?' she found she was asking, feeling better than she had in an age to have him there with her, to be held quietly in the curve of his arm.

`I do so hope so,' Noah answered, and Elexa loved him all over again because, at the end of all this, perhaps they might be friends. 'Hmm, any particular reason why you'd like us to be friends?' he asked casually, and if she didn't know better she might have thought he was fishing for something.

She knew she was going to have to be careful. It surprised her that he hadn't picked up on her slip with regard to `women's problems'. Though perhaps-since he was convinced she was numerate and no huge problem for her to calculate when she was likely to conceive, or likely not to conceive for that matter-that she might be pregnant was just something it wouldn't occur to him to consider.

`No reason, other than-um-well, we have been-er-close,' she said, and, feeling her colour rise, went on quickly, 'And-er I have grown to like you.'

Noah adjusted his positionn so he could see into her face. `That's a very good start,' he commented, his eyes on her. `Oh, sweetheart, you do look a wan little waif,' seemed to be jerked from him, and, as if he couldn't help himself, he placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

`That's no way to speak to a respectable married woman,' Elexa replied, needing some light remark in her fear she would cry at his amazing tenderness with her. She accepted then that she was in a highly emotional state.

`Forgive me,' he smiled. `You see before you one very worried, respectable married man.'

'Worried?'

`About you.'

`Oh, please don't be worried,' she pleaded, and nearly told him then and there that all that was wrong with her was that she was pregnant with his child.But that protective maternal something-newly-born in her-held her back. `T-tell me instead that you like me a little too,' she said instead, and was instantly appalled at what she had just said, and added hastily. `You don't have to, I...' `Not even if it's true?' he asked, and smiled.

`Well, yes.In that event, then yes.'

`So it's true,' he said softly. `I suppose I must have liked you almost from the beginning.'And, his tone gently teasing, `Despite you telling me you'd rather marry a man eating shark than marry me.' She laughed, and she gathered that had been his aim when he gave her an encouraging smile. `Then I found that the more I knew of you, the more I started to like you,' he added.

Her heart started to leap about. She loved the tender way he was looking at her, even if she did know that he was only being like this with her because he thought she was ill. `D-did you?' she asked, and suddenly knew that, before he left her flat- as he probably would at any time now-she would have to tell him what her `women's problem' was.

`I did,' he agreed. `In fact, I liked you so well on our wedding day that when we walked back up the aisle together I felt enormously proud to have my beautiful bride on my arm-' He broke off, and then added quietly, `In fact, that day I began to experience emotions that were totally new to me.'

Elexa stared at him, her heart drumming and leaping. `You didn't want anything to do with emotions,' she reminded him shakily.

`Neither didI ,' he admitted, and as if he couldn't resist it, he said, `You're starting to look a little better than you did,' and gently kissed the corner of her mouth. `So there was I, emotionally proud to stand beside you while we posed for wedding photographs. And later, when I dropped you back here and kissed your cheek, like so,' he murmured, pausing to kiss her cheek, `I discovered I was emotionally enchanted by your lovely laughter-filled face.'

`Oh,' she sighed, and his arm around her tightened-almost as if he intended to protect her for ever. And she so wished it wasso, and not mere whimsy of thought on her part.

`Little did I know then that a whole barrage of emotions were hiding around the corner, just waiting to trip me up,' Noah confessed softly.

`Honestly?' Elexa queried. Perhaps they really could be good friends. Never had she expected Noah to open up like this.

`Totally honestly,' he replied. `First I was furious with you that you had never made love with anyone before, then I was emotionally all over the place that I was the only one-and emotionally all over the place in Germany the next day, when the memory of your sweetness the night before kept coming between me and my work.'

`No!' she gasped, having thought nothing came between him and his work! Though, to give the lie to that, what was he doing here now, when he should be at work in Vienna? Colour rushed to her face.

`Are you all right?' Noah asked urgently, not missing her sudden flare of colour.

`Yes,' she said. `Yes,' she repeated, and, because he looked so concerned, `You're not the only one allowed emotions.' She smiled.

`You feel-hmm-a tiny bit "emotional" about me?' heasked, his eyes steady on hers.

She wasn't quite sure how to answer him. No way did she want to give away too much. But, then again, Noah had said he was being totally honest and, whatever happened, didn't she owe him total honesty in return? `A-bit,' she admitted, finding she couldn't be as hugely honest as she should have been in this delicate area-though aware now that she was going to tell him about the baby before he left. But, as another thought suddenly struck her, `You're not just saying all this- um, liking me and everything-just to make me feel better?' she questioned abruptly, not wanting to believe that he was, but finding it incredible enough that he was here with her now, and starting to feel uncertain. Noah stared at her, his expression serious. Then, softly, he asked, `Does it make you feel better to know that I like you-very, very much?'

Oh, Noah, don't do this to me. 'It's-eralways nicer to be liked than disliked,' she prevaricated, and Noah looked at her for long, long unspeaking seconds. Then Elexa had very good reason to be glad she was sitting propped up in his arm in her bed because, had she been standing when next he spoke, she felt sure she would have dropped in shock.

Because, after long moments of just looking into her wide brown eyes, Noah seemed to take a long pull of breath, and what he said was, `And how would you feel, my dearest Elexa, if I told you that I more than like you very, very much?'His dearest Elexa? Her mouth went dry, and that was before he quietlyadded, `And that the fact of the matter is...' he paused `...I love you, very, very much.'

Feeling as if her heart would leap straight out of her body, Elexa stared at him dumbstruck. 'You-love me?' she gasped.

`With everything that's in me,' Noah confirmed. He loved her! He loved her! Noah loved her-very, very much! She couldn't believe it. He was just saying that to make her feel better, she was sure of it now. `Steady on, Noah,' she managed to find her voice, it taking her all her time to stay steady herself. 'You'll be asking me to marry you next!'

`I'm sure as hell not going to tolerate a divorce!' he replied shortly, before she could blink `You're not? I thought you were!' she answered, startled. `I thought...'

`What did you think?' Noah prompted when she seemed stuck for words.

'Well-I...' Had he really said he loved her and didn't want a divorce? She started to tremble in his arms.

`Oh, my dear.What is it?' he asked, feeling her tremble and perhaps thinking it was part of her being unwell.

`It's...' The words would not come. Not to tell him that she was having his child anyway. But, `Well, if we're talking complete honesty here...' `We are,' Noah said firmly.

She stared at him, joy pushing to get through-common sense holding it firmly down. `You do?' she questioned. `Then why...?'

'Th-then, I'll admit, when you didn't um-contact me-you know-two weeks ago-W- Wednesday...'

`When it was your fertile time?' He didn't back away from letting her know he knew what she was referring to.

`You deliberately didn't contact me. It was deliberate, wasn't it?"

'It was,' he answered, and confused her totally. Confirming he had known what the dates were, but had deliberately kept away, he then gently kissed her lips!

`I thought then that you'd gone off the idea, and were about to tell me you wanted a divorce,' she brought out, feeling utterly lost. `You mean-you'd no idea how I felt about you?' He looked as surprised as she felt startled.

`As in-you I-love me?' she whispered.

`Love and adore you,' Noah breathed. `Oh, my love, there's such a wealth of feeling in me foryou, I haven't known whether I'm on my head or heels.'

`Why have I kept away from you?' Tenderly he kissed her again,then he smiled a shade self-deprecatingly. `At first it took me by surprise. I didn't want any emotional entanglements, didn't have time or space for such nonsense.'

`That's wh-what I overheard you say.'

`And meant,' he admitted. `So why do I feel so proud to have you, my bride, on my arm? Why am I lunching at the Montgomery as often asI'm able-instead of once every blue moon?'

That struck a chord. 'It-um-couldn't have been because you were hoping to see me there-accidentally?' Elexa suggested shyly.

`Certainly not,' he lied, and kissed her gently again in case she believed that lie. `So, if I don't feel any special urge to see you whenever I can, why am I calling here to tell you of Sarah's engagement dinner at my parents' home when I could more easily have picked up a telephone?"

'You liked me, you said,' Elexa murmured, joy inside straining at the leash.

`And that night, that night of the dinner for Sarah and Lewis, I discovered-I loved you,' Noah confessed.

'You-how?When?'Without her knowing it she had placed an arm around his waist she needed it there; she needed something to hold on to.

`If you remember, and I'm sure you do,' he smiled, `we were not going to stay in Sussex overnight. But while I could have taken Scott Wheeler concentrating his attentions solely on you-I couldn't take you smiling and laughing with him all evening.' Her mouthfell openn a fraction. `You werejealous?' she gasped, her eyes huge in her face.

`Not admitting it-then,' Noah replied. `But-' he grinned `-peeved enough to think Tough when I knew you didn't want to stay the night.'

Elexa was too thrilled to know that Noah thought enough of her to be jealous to be upset at his Tough remark. But, remembering how wonderful it had been to be in his arms, `You didn't stay mad at me,' she murmured.

`How could I? You smiled your beautiful smile, and laughed your lovely laugh when you told me you'd refer Wheeler to me when he phoned, and I I fell heart and soul in love with you.'

`Oh, Noah,' she sighed.

`Do you mind?' he asked tenderly.

`Not a scrap,' she replied breathlessly, and, as if she was a piece of fragile porcelain, was tenderly kissed. `Dare I ask if you have any feeling for meapart from liking me ` `a bit" " Noahasked.

`Yes, of course,' she answered shyly, but because of that shyness hurried on, `I truly thought you wanted a divorce-now.'

`What in thunder gave you that idea?"

'You-er-we hadn't been in contact,' she reminded him, and he groaned.

`Forgive me, sweetheart. All this is so new to me. Half my time I've been in panic, in fear you'd want nothing to do with me should I dare to tell you anything of my feelings. While the rest of the time I've been crashing through my workload, completing my commitments without making fresh ones, so that I would shortly be able to stay in London near to you.'

`You wanted to be near to me?' Elexa questioned. Then, shaking her head, had to query, `But you were in London. You said so only last Saturday.' `And it was agony not contacting you,' he supplied. `But I dared not.'

She was flummoxed. `I don't understand,' she had to admit.

`My darling, I love you, but I didn't know how you felt about me. So, since to my mind I'd done things totally the wrong way round, marrying first when I should have wooed you beforehand, I decided to put matters right by clearing up my workload so that I'd be free to-hopefully, and if you would allow itcome courting.'

`Oh, Noah,' she whispered.

`Sweett love,' he said tenderly. `Then the devil of it was that, when I did have a window in my workload, it coincided with a time when I knew you might conceive my child. It was important to me that you should know it was you I wanted, and not just because of the reason I married you.'

`A baby, a child,' Elexa said faintly. `Forgive me, darling?' Noah requested. `But I think you're aware that there's a very special kind of physical chemistry between us. We weren't supposed to make love that Saturday down at my parents; it just-happened. I've wanted to tell you how I felt about you, but didn't want to rush it. So what if you became pregnant before I felt able to tell you of my love for you? You're sensitive, my love. I wanted you to know that it was you I wanted, not the son I married you for. Besides which,' he said with a tender smile, `I want you to myself for as long as I can.'