Party of Three: A H.O.T. Cops Novel (10 page)

Except now … hell, he didn’t know
what
to think. He’d been shocked enough when Ethan had invited him to this naughty birthday party for his old girlfriend. But at the moment, he was even
more
dumbfounded. By the emotions bubbling up inside him. He found himself standing there peering over at the bed, somehow unsettled by what he saw. It made no sense.

It wasn’t his first time doing something kinky and wild—just last Labor Day he’d found himself as part of a very hot and nasty foursome on a boat trip on Lake Michigan. But what shocked him tonight was … how different this felt. How much seeing Mira like this had excited him. It was a side of her he’d never imagined, and he knew her well enough to know this didn’t come easy to her, so he loved that she was being bold enough to step beyond her usual boundaries, and he felt lucky to be there to witness it, be a part of it.

But still, there was more to his emotions than just that.

There was that strange tug in his gut when they’d looked into each other’s eyes. He’d fucked plenty of women, but being with Mira was just … different. Still, now. He couldn’t quite explain it to himself. Hell, he didn’t even know if he was happy or sad at the moment. He’d gotten to be with her again, gotten another taste of how gorgeous and sexy and amazing she was. But he couldn’t keep it. It was only temporary. Which meant it didn’t count for much. And shit, since when was he a guy who wanted sex to count for much?

Yeah, he felt lucky to be a part of this with her and he enjoyed bringing her pleasure more than he could understand, but in the end, would this weekend arrangement be, for him, more about ecstasy … or torture?

“Shit,” he whispered then, and rolled his eyes at his own thoughts.
You’re being fucking ridiculous. Since when do you look into a girl’s eyes—any girl’s—and get sappy about it? Your life is fine the way it is—
damn
fine.
Sure, Charlevoix was a little quiet for his taste—at times he even found himself wishing for more crime, more action, the kind that got his blood pumping—but he liked his work, he
still
liked his freedom, and he liked not having to be accountable to anybody. Well, other than his fellow police officers, but that was part of the job.

As for what he’d just experienced with Mira and how it had stretched beyond his groin all the way up into his gut … well, that was about old times, nothing more. Old feelings. But that didn’t mean he really still felt them. He’d come here to give her a happy birthday for old times’ sake, and because, hell, being invited to a threesome had just plain turned him on. He loved sex, after all. And he’d seen the fact that Mira was involved as just a perk that would make it even more fun.

So that’s why you’re here, what you’re getting out of this weekend: sex. That’s all.

And that’s enough.

Chapter 6

M
ira opened her eyes as the first pale pink hints of dawn sifted their way through the cabin windows. Then she remembered where she was—and why. Today was her birthday. And Ethan had given her … well, a birthday party unlike any other.

That was when she realized he was no longer in bed with her. In fact, neither guy was. The idea almost made her laugh—
I’m sharing a cabin, not to mention sex, with two hot guys
—
but I’m in bed by myself?

A glance revealed Rogan sprawled on the couch across the room—he hadn’t bothered to pull out the sofa bed. And she suddenly wondered about the sleeping situation here. Had Rogan chosen the couch because he hadn’t felt welcome in the bed with them? Had Ethan at some point asked him not to share their bed after the sex was done? And was it weird that she felt a little bad that, after what they’d shared last night, he was sleeping alone?

And as for Ethan, he must just be in the bathroom or something.

Now, remembering exactly what had taken place the previous evening, she rolled to her back, peering up at the wide-beamed ceiling above. God, she’d been so wild with them at moments. And despite herself, that surprised her. But maybe it shouldn’t—after all, she knew them both so well sexually. Yep, Ethan had definitely nailed
that
aspect of this most elaborate gift.

She wondered now, though, did this change what Rogan thought of her as a woman, as a person? And should she care?

Well, it didn’t matter if she
should
care; she
did
care. That was just who she was.

And that took her back to all the nuances of everything that had happened last night. She hadn’t had much time to prepare for the ménage à trois, but one thing she hadn’t anticipated was how close she’d feel to Rogan again, that fast. And how her emotions would flip-flop so much, alternating between the deep new bond of intimacy she now shared with Ethan and the old feelings that had bubbled up for her ex.

Most girls probably wouldn’t do this—wouldn’t pick it all apart so much. Most girls would probably just be smart enough to simply enjoy it.
It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, after all. And during the parts when she’d been able to let herself go and stop thinking so damn much … well,
those
moments had been what this weekend was supposed to be about. Or at least she
thought
that was what Ethan had wanted for them. Good sex. With the
focus
on good sex. Not anything else.

And speaking of Ethan, where on earth was he? Growing impatient when she realized she didn’t hear any sound coming from the bathroom, she eased out of bed and moved quietly to her weekend bag, quickly putting on a pair of white cotton panties and a fitted white eyelet camisole that buttoned up the front. Then, looking for the jeans she’d worn last night, she caught sight of someone in the hammock on the front porch. Ethan.

Forgetting about the jeans altogether, she padded to the cabin’s screen door and stepped outside to find him lounging there in his white boxer briefs. “Hey,” she said softly.

Their eyes met. “Hey, you,” he murmured sweetly. “Happy birthday.”

“Whatcha doin’ out here?”

“Thought it’d be nice to watch the sunrise and didn’t want to wake you. But it’s starting to look like rain.”

Mira moved on bare feet to the edge of the wood cabin’s covered porch, then peeked up at the sky through the trees surrounding the place. Indeed what had glowed a pearly pink a few minutes ago was now more blank and gray.

“Climb in here with me,” he requested then, so she cast him a soft smile and accepted the invitation. Unlike the hammock in the yard, this one of course wasn’t suspended between trees—it was stretched so that four corners of netting connected to a metal stand beneath.

“This is nice,” she told him, curling into his embrace. And it was. Last night had been … utterly exciting, but nothing quite beat crawling into the arms of a man who loved you.

“You doin’ okay? About last night?”

She lifted her head from where it rested on his shoulder and found him peering down at her. “Yeah. I mean, I think. I mean …” Oh hell. The truth was, she didn’t quite know what to feel yet. Dirty? Alive? Ashamed? Liberated? And did she have a choice on what to feel? Or was she at the mercy of her inner being, her soul, whatever lay at the very core of her? “Was it all okay with you?” she finally asked Ethan. Since surely his feelings here mattered as much as hers—at least in some ways. “Was it what you envisioned?”

The tilt of his head and the expression on his face told her he could read her uncertainty. “Honey, I wouldn’t have put this into motion if I didn’t want you to enjoy it. I don’t want you to be worried—about anything. I want you to just do what feels good, without any hesitation, all right? That’s part of the gift.”

She let out a breath she hadn’t quite realized she was holding.
Okay. He still loves me. And he’s even encouraging me to let it continue.

Though she pointed out, “You didn’t answer the other part. Was it what you wanted, what you expected it to be like?”

She watched then as he leaned his head back into the white netting, appearing to weigh the question. And she liked that he was taking it seriously, not just tossing out the simplest answer. She’d always loved his analytical mind and considered it one of the things that made them compatible. “Sort of, sort of not,” he said after a moment. “I feel like we … took turns with you more than shared you, if that makes any sense.”

She bit her lip, peered down at him. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

He met her gaze, his warm and penetrating. Beyond the protection of the covered porch a soft drizzle began to patter against leaves in the trees that kept the cabin feeling so isolated and shaded. “I thought you might like us to … do things to you at the same time,” he said. “That’s all. That was more how I saw it.”

“Oh,” she said, a little taken aback—but she wasn’t certain why. After all, there had been
some
moments like that—like when Ethan had rubbed his hard length over her breast while Rogan had fucked her. So why did she find his suggestion a little … shocking? Maybe because, now that she thought about it, he was right—in ways, the two men had taken turns pleasuring her; her focus had, at most times, clearly been on one of them or the other. And during the period when they
had
both enjoyed her at the same time, the sensation had felt different—there’d been a heightened sense of pleasure and abandon. And she’d experienced that when they’d both been touching her, too. Maybe that stunning sense of abandon—loss of control—frightened her just a little.

“There were
some
times when … you both were … you know.” Damn, she couldn’t quite get the words out, even with Ethan. She hated that, how shy and Victorian this situation was turning her. She wasn’t that prim. But new boundaries—big ones—were being breached here. It had been one thing when Rogan had taught her to appreciate dirty talk. Having them
both
teach her to appreciate being with two men at once was a big leap.

“I know,” he said softly. The air smelled like rain now, cool and sweet. “But I thought you might want to take that further.”

Just be honest. This is Ethan. If you’re seriously considering marrying this man, you should be able to say anything to him.
“I … I felt shy about it a lot of the time. I know I’m not normally shy in bed, but I guess this situation … intimidated me. It’s strange to … to show desire for someone else in front of you.”

The light of understanding dawned in his eyes then. “Oh. I guess I can get that. It’s like … you don’t want to hurt my feelings or something?”

She nodded gently. “Sort of. And … and I guess there’s a part of me that’s afraid of looking really slutty or something. Afraid that if I act like I want this, that even though you think it’s okay with you, maybe it really
won’t
be. And so … it was just easier to wait for you two to make all the moves and let it happen.”

He kept his warm gaze on her, reached to caress her cheek. “I promise, baby, this weekend it really is okay. It’s really what I want. You don’t need to be shy. Whatever your body wants, I want you to have it.
That’s
the
gift
,” he said as if to drive the point home. Again.

“And it’s a little weird with Rogan,” she went on, thinking aloud now, getting more comfortable with the topic. “I mean, I know he and I are long in the past, but once upon a time I cared about him, and I have to wonder what he thinks about me doing this.”

At this, however, Ethan raised his eyebrows. “Rogan? Seriously? I’d think you’d know Rogan well enough by now to realize that he’s, uh, not a judgmental kinda guy. In fact, when I invited him, he told me this wouldn’t be his first time doing something like this.”

Mira blinked, utterly surprised. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

“I think it happened after you. But anyway, he’s all about having sex and having fun—and he even said he liked the idea of you opening up that much, being that free. He always felt you held back a little.”

Hmm. Rogan
would
think that. But it bothered her. Because she
had
been fully open with him. Or at least she’d thought so. Though maybe he’d yearned for a true wild woman; maybe that was the way to Rogan Wolfe’s heart.

She decided not to dwell on her past with Rogan at the moment, though. This weekend wasn’t about their past, after all—it was about right now. And in a way, it was also about the future. So she changed the subject to something else still lingering on her mind.

“I … never quite realized it was only you and Rogan who were involved in that hostage situation.”

“Well, there were the other local cops.”

“I know. I just meant I didn’t realize you were the only two from your team. And I guess it just surprises me a little that you could go through something like that with someone and not, you know, feel a little closer to them than you and Rogan do. Or … am I thinking like a girl here?” she asked with a grin.

But Ethan just shrugged. “You know Rogan and me just don’t have much in common—other than softball, the badge, and you. And I gave up the badge. And he …” Then his face clouded.

“Gave up me,” she finished for him. “That’s okay, you can say it. It’s true. And I got over it a long time ago.” Or … well, she’d always
thought
she’d gotten over it. But last night … for her anyway, it was just hard to have sex with a guy and not have it mingle with emotions. Hard to impossible. Not that Ethan needed to know that, at least not right now.

“So …” Ethan said with a soft grin, “back to us. Are we good?”

“I’m good if you’re good,” she said with a small smile.

His grin widened. “Well, I’m good if you’re enjoying this to the fullest.”

She gave him another nod. “I will. I mean, I’ll try anyway.”

“Just … make it whatever you want it to be, honey. Okay?” he said with a wink. “It’s really okay for you to … cut loose, follow every urge you want to follow. I promise.”

And she leaned down and kissed him. Her way of saying
thank you.
And
I love you
. And
I will
. Because she was beginning, slowly but surely, to understand this. To understand that she needed a new attitude here.