Passion (32 page)

The hardest part was facing Blaise. He was in
his shirtsleeves now, her handprint having faded from his tight
cheek. He stood by an open window, almost separate from the group.
He still looked strong, mature, and handsome. Every second of every
stolen moment with him flooded achingly through her mind.

“Whether I lied or played a role doesn’t
matter. You know, deep inside what was real. You know that both of
us admitted to being helpless to it.”

Aware of Stoneleigh, her father, and the
other duke in the room listening, she refused to blush and stammer
as she may have before. Caroline reasoned, she had done this,
conducted this affair, started it—and this was the man she had lost
herself to….and risked much for.

His face was toward her, the glasses hiding
his eyes, but she knew despite his remote expression, he was
listening to every word.

“I’m an heiress, the daughter of a Duke—with
a drop of royal blood. Do you think I took risks just to amuse
myself? Do you think I knew anything of real attraction or
passions, or anything I felt with you? My whole life…people pay,
attention to me, look at me, smile at me, and court me, because of
who I am. Perhaps, I have a little beauty…but do you think anyone
in my world cares?

You could not see me. You did not know me.
How was I supposed to resist that? Even when I knew I should tell
you the truth, I selfishly did not want to lose the only thing in
my life that was real, that was just mine, something that had
nothing to do with my father’s titles, my wealth, my looks—nothing
but—me. I had not even had a normal conversation, nor known anyone
who listened to me. Really listened…”

Caroline looked away from him and around at
the others, her father, sitting on the edge of his desk, his eyes
softly on her, Jules, who wore a slightly ironic smile, and his
Grace who smiled too, watching her, but with great affection and
slightly misty eyes.

She sighed and said to her father. “I’m
sorry. You must feel as if you do not know me either. I never
meant…”

“No, my dear. I understand, more than you
know.”

She supposed he did.

She looked at Jules. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Not at all. I’m arrogant,
guilty of much the same, and underestimate women all the time.” His
smile flashed. “I played my role, Caroline. It’s what we do.”

She nodded and looked back at Blaise.
Scraping her teeth over her lip, she said lastly, “I didn’t know
who you were. I did not care. I wanted to spend every moment with
you. Yes, I lied. I pretended my life was not planned for me, and
that others did not have expectations. I stole those moments with
you, for myself. But….it appears…who I really am, matters to you
after all.”

She turned to leave, and then turned back to
Bordwyc. “I love him. If he cannot forgive me, it still will not
make me wed another just to fulfill my role. I can’t…” Her eyes
filled with tears. “I can’t even really be sorry that I lied to
you, to everyone else. I never want to disappoint you, but I’m not
a child.”

“Caroline.”

She looked over at Blaise who called her
name.

Caroline said softly, “I’m not sorry for
slapping you, Blaise. Though you were upset and angry, there was no
reason to put it like you did.”

He touched his cheek. “I’m glad you slapped
me.”

She blinked. “What.”

He explained wryly, “It proves that you
really don’t seem to notice I’m blind.

She felt the tears roll down. “I only wished
you weren’t so you wouldn’t cover your eyes when we’re…”

Bordwyc cleared his throat.

However, the parties appeared not to notice.
Blaise husked deeply, his expression telling to his father and
brother at least, “I don’t need sight to see your beauty and
passion, Caroline.”

It was Jules, who looked at the others with a
raised brow and murmured, “I think we should go.”

However, before they could, Blaise got their
attention. He told the duke, “I have nothing Jules does. I have
less, I suppose, being blind.”

He walked over, only reaching out a hand
subtly so that he could feel the chair back facing the duke, before
he stood there. “I have a minor courtesy title, a military pension,
an inheritance that is sizable. I do not care for society. My
career, my life, has been in the navy thus that is the world I
know…”

Bordwyc stood, shifting his eyes only a
moment to Artis who was smiling, and Jules who was shaking his
head, but then he focused on Blaise. “What matters is…”

“—
No,” the Captain cut in,
seeming to know what he would say. “To a man, it matters. She is
your daughter. You know she’s worthy of more, of everything you can
give her, and dream for her.”

“Do you want Caroline?” Bordwyc cut in.

Blaise swallowed. “Yes.”

“You love her?”

That hand holding the chair back curled. “I
love her.”

Everyone in the room seemed to smile, except
Caroline who wiped tears out of her eyes that kept coming.

Quietly, the duke said, “Then I expect you
will formally court her, and ask for her.” he paused then added
lower, “That is, unless my grandchild is expected early?”

Caroline was mortified.

Blaise did not help that by saying, “I don’t
know.”

While Jules and his father laughed, Blaise
finally walked to Caroline and touched her face. To everyone in the
room, who watched and stilled, it did not matter what anyone said,
the tall Captain, glasses or not, touched Caroline’s face and his
thumb swiped her tears softly. Caroline covered his hand, her eyes
closing.

Blaise spoke to her as if they were the only
two in the world, the only two that mattered. He spoke to her as
one did a beautiful woman, a cherished and loved woman. One, who
was his world, He husked softly, “You’ve been to my home, and you
know what I am and have been. I will never be or have what you
deserve, Caroline. I may never have full sight…”

“I like your house. I like who you are and
what you have been. You’re vastly more interesting than
Stoneleigh.” She ignored the duke’s laugh. “I know you’re brave,
strong, and independent. You do for yourself. You build life, you
live it, and you listen to me. You see more of me, understand more
than anyone, who I am.”

Both hands now cupped her cheeks. “Do you
want me to court you?”

“I want you to marry me.” She bit her lip. “I
want to be yours.”

That obviously moved and shocked him. He
forgot himself and kissed her, a rather deep and passionate one.
Caroline apparently forgot everyone too.

When the kiss was over, Bordwyc cut in before
they were carried away, “Acquire a special license, LeClair. We’ll
see about the wedding details.”

“You be sure, my love,” Blaise urged
Caroline, obviously struggling with the knowledge that she could
have a more wealthy and titled man—a sighted man.

Her arms went round him. She said against his
neck. “I have been yours since that first kiss. Marriage will
satisfy others and society, but I have been yours completely—from
the moment we met.”

It was a few hours later, Jules rode to
Blaise’s house, he and his brother still talking. Ry, who appeared
amused at them all, sought his bed, but the brothers sat up past
dawn, enjoying coffee by the fire.

At one point Blaise said, “Don’t do it?”

What?”

“Offer me money, a bigger house.” Blaise
smiled wryly. “Either she wants me, modest as I can keep her,
or…”

“You’ll have to take her fortune, and trust
me, it’s likely bigger than mine.”

Blaise shrugged. “We’ll see.”

Jules rolled his head to watch the fog roll
in. “I’ve been lying too. I’ve been with someone…”

“Been with…is that like my saying I took her
virtue, when actually…”

Jules laughed softly. “I see. But, no.
I’ve…for the first time in my life, I’ve… feelings, for
someone.”

“Who?”

“Caroline’s best friend.”

Blaise actually laughed. “Harry!”

“Um. Put that together, did you?”

“Just.”

Jules sat up. “She left. We had a row…of
sorts. Actually, that was the moment I realized she had feelings
for me. And to be honest, I have never felt anything like the
challenge and excitement…”

“What will you do?”

“Nothing I can, until she returns. I do not
know where she is. I doubt Caroline does either.”

“I think you need that.” Blaise stood and
they walked toward the entry door. “Someone unconventional. I
suppose…we all know that moment, the difference, the feeling…the
passion.”

“It’s not easy for me. It won’t be.”

“You mean by society standards. Who the
bloody hell cares. We lived in a pretend world, we have seen what
loveless marriages do to the people, and the children. Do not trade
anything real for that. Father can tell you how empty it is. What a
high price he paid.”

Putting up his coat collar, Jules glanced at
him. “He’s dying. Father. His heart is giving out…”

Blaise sighed heavily and raised his head as
if looking back through time. “Bloody cruel joke that.
Considering.”

“I think he’s happy. At peace.”

“You must tell him about your….lady.”

“I will.”

As he got in his coach Jules said, “We’ll all
have dinner soon. Lady Caroline, Raith, before he leaves…I’m
hosting.”

Yes.”

* * * *

The coach rolled away. Blaise went in and up
to his rooms. Once there he sat heavily on the side of the bed.

“Caroline.” He breathed and then lay back. “I
wouldn’t have given you up anyway. I couldn’t have.” Taking off his
glasses, he lay them aside and imagined her as his bride, his
wife.

Recalling her passion, he smiled, he would
have forever to pleasure her, to listen to her voice and hear her
laugh.

But…bloody hell—He could not quite believe
who she really was!

~~

A few weeks later

“I can’t believe I’m letting you do this,”
Gabriella kept watch on the dark street whilst Caroline broke into
her friend’s house.

“Well,” said Caroline, working the knitting
needle between the lock and catch. “What choice did she leave me?
How dare she go off and not tell me. She’s my best friend, I can’t
get married without her.”

Gabriella laughed, then felt Caroline tug her
sleeve as the lock gave.

Inside, Caroline found a candle and lit
it.

“Couldn’t have anything to do with the fact
that Blaise told you she’s in love with Jules…”

“Well yes. Particularly if she has some
misguided notion, it affects our friendship. Harry may be bold but
she’s honest, and has honor so I assume that though knowing I loved
someone else…”

They were sifting through papers on the messy
table when Gabriella saw the handbill. “You really were looking for
me.”

Caroline joined her and stared at them. “Yes.
Have you seen those before?”

“I remember them, but I have none saved.” She
touched her fingers to the drawing of her mother.

“Take it, Harry won’t mind.”

From the stairs came a voice that made them
both jump, saying dryly, “It’s not enough you break in my house,
now you’re stealing from me?”

“Harry!” Caroline put the candle down and ran
toward her.

“Be careful of those books and papers.
Honestly Caroline, you’ll burn the place down…” However, she was
laughing when Caroline caught up and hugged her.

After the embrace, Harry told Gabriella.
“Please, do take them. And welcome.” Casting a dry eye at her
friend, she turned Caroline and they walked down to join Gabriella.
After lighting lamps, they all settled in the sitting area.

“Where the devil did you go!” Caroline
asked.

“To the country.” Harry shrugged, snuggling
her robe around her.

Studying the two as they talked, Gabriella
could see the strain on Lady Harriet, and she knew the signs of a
woman who had been suffering and unhappy—no matter how lighthearted
she pretended to be with Caroline.

“You really must let me know before taking
off like that, Harry. I need you at my wedding. I’m getting
married.”

“I know.” Harry looked away and met
Gabriella’s eyes before looking down at the floor. “You told me,
remember.”

“Oh. That. Lord no. I am not marrying Jules.
I am in love with his brother—Blaise. Only, I didn’t know the
Captain was his brother.”

Harry blinked. “That Captain…that was
your…”

“You know him?”

“Yes.”

“But how?”

Gabriella cut in, “Raith stayed here after
the fire. Actually, Lady Harry played a role in saving him, I
think.”

After a moment Harry told Caroline what
occurred the night of the fire.

Caroline was contemplative for some moments
afterwards. She said at length, “It makes so much sense now. The
Captain…Blaise, was upset, and then we could not meet.
Nevertheless, I wish someone would have told me. You should have
trusted me, Harry, I realize I was in my own mess…”

“Yes. However, they were not my confidences.
The Duke asked me…”

“Of course.” Caroline waved her hand and
asked bluntly, “Do you have feelings for Jules, Harry?”

“Why would you ask me that?” Gabriella
watched Harry get up and pace.

Caroline stood and stared at her until Harry
looked at her. “We’ve established I’m not a child, my friend. If
you are my friend, then let us talk like women, like adults. Harry,
I want you in my life. I cherish our friendship. Despite my
distraction of late, I want to be a friend to you too.”

Harry, arms held tight about herself,
whispered back to Caroline, “I hated feeling what I did, knowing
that if you weren’t already paired with him, you would be. I didn’t
want to care for Stoneleigh, who does? I mean, beyond the obvious
fact that half the females in London likely dream of him…I did not
want to feel it. He was so cold, arrogant, and detached. I was
invisible to him and…”