Past Forward- A Serial Novel: Episode 15 (9 page)

Chad shook his head.
“
She
’
s never been exposed to
—”

A wistful tone entered Josh
’
s voice.
He looked into Willow
’
s eyes and reached one hand across the table to squeeze both of hers.
“
You have no idea how absolutely blessed you are
.”

Confused, Willow listened as Josh told o
f his life
long love of fashion, interior design, and beauty.
“
People always assumed
—
I guess I can see why
,
but
—”
He sighed. “If you hear it enough, you start to believe it—or at least believe you don’t have a choice.”

Curious, Willow’s eyes darted back and forth between the men, pausing on Chad as he said
,
“
You felt trapped and assumed that others knew more about you than you knew yourself?
”

“
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck
—”

“
It couldn
’
t possibly be a person who likes to wear duck costumes?
”
Compassion and surprise flooded Chad
’
s voice.
“
When did you realize
it wasn’t what
you
wanted
?
”

“
When Barney treated me like something worthwhile.
He loved me, told me about Jesus, and didn
’
t preach at me about my lifestyle.
I finally had to bring it up
.”

“
What
’
d he say?
”

“
Nothing.
He said that when Jesus indwelled my heart, He
’
d help me do whatever Jesus wanted me to do.
He could have shown me the Bible.
At that point
—”
Josh
’
s slight lisp grew slightly more pronounced.
“
I would have grabbed at any excuse
—”

“
I
’
ll bet that
’
s why he didn
’
t,
”
Chad commented.
He was impressed.
Without a doubt, Chad knew that one of the first things he would have done would have been to encourage Josh to repent.

“
Right.
I was looking for an out for something I hated anyway.
I don
’
t know if I would have ever truly repented if he would have pushed right then
.”

Willow listened confused.
Josh and Chad seemed to understand each other perfectly
,
but she didn
’
t have a clue as to what was such a big deal.
Though tempted to interrupt and ask, she wisely decided to wait.
Chad could explain later.
Josh seemed to need to talk.

“
Of course now,
”
Josh continued,
“
I
’
m an outcast with the old crowd, the girls at church see me as something they can
’
t quite trust, and I feel as alone as I ever did
.”

“
But with Jesus
—”
Chad began.

“
You
’
re never alone
.”

Unconsciously, Willow began humming the old hymn,
“
… no never alone, no never alone. He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone…
”
Josh squeezed her hand again.
“
Exactly.
Someday I
’
ll meet people who are as comfortable with me as you and Willow
—
and even Barney
—”

“
I bet you know my sister
.”
Chad hesitated even as he spoke.

“
What
’
s her name?
”

“
Cheri Tesdall
.”

Josh
’
s eyes lit up.
“
She was the first person to invite me to one of those singles things that happen around different towns.
I knew she was going with some other guy
,
but just knowing
someone
wanted—
me
to go
—
”

“
I
’
m just glad she
’
s not one of the ones who rejected
—”

“
Cheri wouldn
’
t!
Chad, how could you think that!
I think Cheri would like Josh if she wasn
’
t so wrapped up in Chuck
.”
She blushed.
“
Well, I mean she
’
d like him anyway
,
but I thought she
’
d appreciate him more personally if her
—”
Willow stopped herself.
“
You know what I mean
.”

They stayed through dinner
, a
te dessert, and continued to talk.
After half a dozen glances at his phone in the past ten minutes
, Josh jumped up and insisted he had to leave.
“
I
’
m supposed to play the piano tonight for the children at the mission.
I have to go
.”

Chad pulled a
n old
receipt from his wallet and wrote their phone number
s
on it.
“
Call us.
Anytime.
Come visit.
Come to church with us.
Maybe what you need is a broader group of friends
,
and we
’
d like to be the first to invite you to Fairbury
.”

Fighting back tears and an even heavier lisp, Josh waved and dashed out the door
,
thanking them as he went.
Willow hardly noticed; her eyes were focused on Chad.
He seemed upset.
“Are you ok?”

“Just disgusted with myself.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” he began.
“I feel like the very people who probably caused those self-doubts in him.
People like me—we caused his pain.” Chad toyed with a straw wrapper.
“
I wonder how common that is?
”
he wondered to himself.

“
How common what is?
What
were
you guys talking about?
What
are
you talking about?
”

Chad sighed.
“
Didn
’
t you notice anything unusual about him?
”

“
Well,
”
she admitted,
“
he
’
s a little girly
,
but I expect it
’
s just because he works with fabric
,
and the few men I know don
’
t.
He probably spends a lot of time with women or something
.”

“
It
’
s something like that.
Mind if I explain some other time?
”
Chad stood and grasped her hand helping her from the booth.

“
Sure.
Or I can ask him
—”

“
I
’
d rather you didn
’
t,
”
Chad insisted sadly.
“
I think you
’
d make him uncomfortable
.”

“
I think,
”
Willow said remembering the walls of glass and water, and the afternoon
’
s conversation,
“
I think people overcomplicate things.
Let
’
s go home
.”

The shearers arrived on Friday.
Willow hung over the fence, fascinated with every movement.
It took almost no time for the two men to produce
two full skirts.
Willow nudged Chad.
“Ten minutes—from start to finish, two fleeces in ten minutes.
I’ve got to learn how to do that.”