Pathways (9780307822208) (4 page)

On Sunday evening Eli canoed over to the Bailey place to talk over the next day’s plans with Bryn. She was out on the front stoop with her dad, holding a pole in place while Peter pounded in a long nail. With her hair up in a loose knot, soft tendrils falling to her neckline, and a body that in profile would make any man swallow hard, Bryn was as desirable as a mystery to a detective. And when she looked at him with those dark eyes that seemed to convey every whisper his heart longed to hear …

Eli wanted to know her—what motivated, moved, mortified, molded her. He forced his focus back to their project, suddenly conscious of Bryn’s protective father and that he probably appeared to be gawking.
Am gawking
. The framework on the porch was almost complete, and appeared to be level and solid.

“Lookin’ good,” Eli called from the water, his eyes slipping back to Bryn.
The woodwork isn’t bad either
.

“Thanks!” Peter greeted him. “Guess I haven’t forgotten too much in the twenty-odd years since we built these places.”

Bryn grinned at her father and then at Eli as he made his way ashore. “I think he was just waiting for my year to take this on,” she said half accusingly.

“Hey, girl, it was your idea.”

“So it was. But somehow I think it was yours all along.”

Her father slipped his hammer into a belt loop and crossed his arms. “Now how do you figure that?” Eli picked up a rising note of tension and shifted, uneasy.

“I don’t know … You’ve always been able to get me to do exactly what you wanted.”

“Not me. Your mother maybe.”

“Both of you,” she said, picking a splinter from her hand. Eli noticed her nails were closely cropped, with small white half-moons on each nail bed. Perfect. Just like the rest of her.

“Hey, Bryn,” he interrupted, not caring to be caught in the middle of a family disagreement. “I just popped over to talk about tomorrow. Want to head out early?”

“Sure,” she said, still staring at her father. “We thought we’d go hiking, Dad. Okay with you if I abandon camp for a while?”

Peter looked from her to Eli, then back to her. “Just make sure
you have the right gear and get back well before dark. Okay?” His focus was on Eli again, his intent clear. Alaska could be a dangerous place.
She’s your responsibility, Eli. I’m trusting you
.

“No problem, Mr. Bailey,” Eli said respectfully. He turned back toward the canoe, saying over his shoulder, “I’ll see you tomorrow at seven, Bryn.”

“I’ll be ready.” There was no hesitation, no qualm in her voice. She was brave and gutsy. He liked that.

“Good night,” he said, already paddling away.

“ ’Night!” Peter called. Bryn was silent. And because she was silent, Eli knew he would be fantasizing about her whispering “good night” in his ear all evening. What was it about her? He stubbornly refused to look back toward shore.

For the first time since he’d started daydreaming about Bryn, Eli whispered a prayer heavenward. “Lord God, you have brought me to this place for a reason.” He paddled deep and hard in a J-stroke, powerfully forcing the cedar canoe forward. “Help me to be your servant, to be who Bryn needs me to be, and not so focused on my most base desires.” It was then that her declining his invitation to join them for church that morning came back to him.

Why hadn’t he thought of it before? Peter Bailey had never been a believer, always telling Jedidiah that he lived a moral, if not a Christian, life. And that was enough. Memories of the two men sitting out by a campfire, debating theological questions, came back to Eli. Like father, like daughter.

He had assumed she was a believer. Hoped she was a believer. Hadn’t wanted to think anything else, drawn into his attraction for her like …
a tomcat to catnip
.

The problem was that Eli was already rolling in the catnip.

“My dad calls you a bear magnet. Think we’ll see one today?” Bryn asked, keeping up with Eli with some effort. It wasn’t easy, at this altitude, but she was loath to admit it. There was an air of testing about Eli today, something she picked up the moment he collected her in the canoe. She wondered why.

“It does seem to be true—every time I go out I come across the closest bear. Must be something about my smell.” He turned and grinned at her, handsome with a slight flush to his lower cheeks where the faintest stubble hugged his skin.

She raised her eyebrows, forcing her thoughts back to bears. “Great. So if we encounter a bear, Mr. Magnet, what are we supposed to do?”

“Grizzly, stay absolutely still. They perceive anything running away as dinner. If attacked, you play dead. If it’s a black bear, you fight back. Don’t try to climb a tree. They’ll be right behind you, and trust me, they’re better climbers. Grizzlies don’t climb.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “I’ll just do what you do.”

He smiled over his shoulder at her again. “Don’t worry. I’m the bear magnet. You didn’t put any citronella on, did you?”

She stopped, and he walked a few paces before stopping too, then turning around.

“You did?”

“Well, I had to do something to keep from giving these mosquitoes a unit of blood.” She swatted around her head, suddenly hearing the high-pitched whine of the dreaded insect nearby. “Why? Don’t tell me. Bears love citronella.”

“Some bears.” He frowned and Bryn frowned too, now truly
worried about a bear attack. Yet she was glad for the attention from Eli. There was a protective, loving way about him that made her feel more feminine, aware, alive.

“We’re, what? Three miles out?” Bryn said, trying to return her focus to the task at hand. “Might as well get to the mining camp and then go home. Maybe the bears are in other territory today.”

Eli scanned the horizon, suddenly all Eagle Scout. “Maybe. Just stick close to me.”

No problem
, she thought. It was about seventy degrees out, a perfect summer day, and Bryn concentrated on the beauty all about them rather than on her handsome guide or the bears that might want to eat them. Summit Lake lay on the western border of the Denali Wilderness, and from this vantage point, they could see much of Mount McKinley—which Eli preferred to call by the Athabaskan name
Denali
, “since that president from Ohio never even laid eyes on her”—and the rest of the Alaskan Range.

It was breathtaking—white peaks descending to dark silver-blue ravines and gullies, above green-brown tundra-covered “hills” that rivaled most of the Rocky Mountains in elevation. Bryn knew that many of the peaks were eleven to thirteen thousand feet high; Mount Foraker was over seventeen thousand; and McKinley, the queen, over twenty.

“What does
Denali
mean?” she asked, panting, following in Eli’s footsteps.

“High One.”

“That’s appropriate.”

“Highest point in North America,” he said with a note of pride.

She stifled an
I know
. She wasn’t stupid—she had scored 1490 on her SAT. But she sensed that he hadn’t said it to be a know-it-all.
He simply loved this place. What was it about him that at once drew her—as though they had been lifelong friends rather than periodic acquaintances—but also repelled her—as if she were a complete cheechako?

“So you’re premed,” he said suddenly. “Want to be a generalist or a specialist?”

“Don’t know. I have a few years to figure it out.”

“I’d say,” he agreed. “What makes you want to be a doctor?”

She mulled over his question, and the silence grew between them. Finally she said, “I think it’s because I like to get to the root of a problem and fix it. Problems with the body almost always have a good reason for occurring, and a good solution.”

He paused, letting her catch up to him, and opened up his canteen, then offered it to her. “You thirst, and you quench it. It’s all very orderly.”

She looked him in the eye, catching his obvious hint. “You don’t care for the orderly?”

“I’ve found that my life isn’t all that orderly. I want it to be, but it doesn’t matter. It’s messy and mixed-up and turned around every time I think I’m on the straight and narrow.” He took a sip after her and then with the back of his hand wiped his lips. Bryn found herself staring at them a half-second too long.

“Isn’t that aggravating?” she asked, taking a deep breath. She wouldn’t let him distract her. “Don’t you just want to make it right, make it straight, less messy again?”

“To some extent.” He looked around, surveying the land like a one-man search party. “I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with Ben White. There’s a reason my dad has been friends with him all these years. You should get to know him too.”

She sat down on a nearby rock, her calves suddenly aching. “Why? My dad says he’s just an old coot who’s tucked himself away from the world. A religious fanatic.”

“That’s not how I’d describe him. Ben’s wise. Smart. Caring. He’s pretty remarkable.”

“Because he raises bear cubs?”

“That’s just part of the reason.” Eli shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. I’ll take you to see him. He’ll be back tomorrow. He’s out on a Fish and Game assignment.”

“What does he have to do with our conversation?”

Eli sat down on a neighboring boulder. “He writes a lot. He told me the trick to writing in a way that grabs readers is to note what is vivid and vital in life. And if you can take note of it and embrace it, whether you’re writing about it or reading it, you’ll enjoy it all the more.” Eli looked at her steadily. His eyes were the color of the far hills, a hazel green. “When is life most vivid and vital for you, Bryn?”

Here, now
was the first thing that came to her. She thought about sharing it with him but held back. He was right. Her days were not focused, not organized with a huge goal before her as she usually kept them, and yet she felt more … interested and … 
whole
than she had in a long time. “It’s a good question,” she said instead, rising. “Come on. If we’re going to get to that mining camp and back, we had better hurry.”

Eli watched the thoughts pass through her dark chocolate eyes like a ticker tape through a stockbroker’s hands. There was something moving her, changing her, making her think. She set off ahead of him, assuming their trail was dead ahead rather than veering to the
right at the crags, moving on instinct. Was that how she always tackled a problem? Move forward and figure it out on the way?

“Uh, Bryn? We want to head over to the right. The camp should be about a quarter-mile farther.”

“Oh. Okay.” She modified her path immediately. “You asked me what makes me want to be a doctor. What makes you want to be a pilot?”

“You were up with me last week. You saw what fun it is, right?”

“Yeah. But what about the rest of the world, Eli? What about seeing Europe like our fathers did? Or China? Or New Zealand or Peru …”

“I’d like to see those places. Someday.”

“Why not now? Have you ever even been Outside? To the Lower 48?”

“Twice. We went to see my grandparents in Chicago.”

“That’s it?” It was her turn to stop and study him. “Don’t you ever wonder what you’re missing? What’s out there?”

He mulled over her question. “Guess not. Wasn’t wild about Chicago. This is home, and I’m pretty sure it always will be.”

She nodded but was clearly not assured.

“And flying … There’s nothing else like it. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a hawk, circling, riding the wind. If I could spend all day in a glider, I’d be a happy man. The de Havilland and flying for a living is the next best thing.”

He took the lead. “I might not have seen China yet, but I see something new every day. Isn’t that what most people want from their work? Something new, to keep things fresh, interesting?”

“I suppose.”

They crested the next hill and spotted the remains of a small
mining operation—decomposing traces on the ground, a black, cavernous hole in the hillside, barely covered with metal fencing in a meager Forest Service effort to keep hikers and daring spelunkers out. There wasn’t a whole lot to it. But beyond it, miles of treeless, green-gold tundra extended all the way to the base of the white mountains in the distance.

“This is it?” Bryn asked, staring down the gully to the sad remains.

“No,” he said. He took her hand before thinking about it and waved to the horizon. “That’s it.” He stared outward, but his attention was on the connection between them. It felt so good, so right, that Eli suddenly didn’t want the gesture to be casual; he wanted to hold her hand forever. He looked over to her.

She was gazing up with such a look of rapture that it seemed to Eli that she saw, really saw Alaska—the land he loved—for the first time. “Oh,” she whispered, and her fingers tightened around his.