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Authors: Margaret Dickinson

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Bessie and Hannah glanced at each other. ‘That’s really thoughtful of you, lad, but I don’t think we could afford—’

‘Oh, it’s a gift,’ Jim interrupted swiftly. ‘I want to get it for her.’ The colour on his face deepened. ‘Unless you think she’d be offended.’

‘Offended?’ Bessie laughed uproariously. ‘When it’s a gift for her little Tommy? Oh no, lad. You couldn’t have thought of anything better,’ she assured him,
and the young man went away beaming.

‘It can’t be me he’s coming to see, Hannah, it’ll be you.’ Nell, when they told her that evening of Jim’s visit, was adamant.
‘I’m not ’alf as pretty as you and besides, I’m a fallen woman.’ She gazed down fondly at her child as if the thought didn’t worry her too much now that she had
him. But her tone was a little wistful as she added softly, ‘No one’ll want me now.’

‘Well, you’ll see for yourself tomorrow, love,’ Bessie said, winking at Hannah. They hadn’t told Nell of the gift Jim intended to bring. They wanted that to be a surprise
– a surprise that, in their eyes, proved his growing fondness for Nell and – best of all – for her little boy too.

When a knock sounded on the door at eleven o’clock the following morning, Bessie shouted. ‘Answer the door, Nell, will yer? I’m peeling the ’taters.’ She was doing
no such thing; both she and Hannah were hiding in the back scullery, stifling their laughter as they listened to Nell opening the door.

‘Oh – hello, Jim.’

‘Hello, Nell.’

There was silence whilst Bessie whispered impatiently, ‘Get on with it then, lad,’ to be shushed by Hannah.

They heard Jim speak again, nervously. ‘Mrs Morgan – er – invited me for dinner.’

‘So she said,’ Nell answered. ‘You’d best come in.’

‘Well . . . um . . . I was wondering if – after dinner, like – you’d come out with me. For . . . for a walk?’

‘Oh!’

Though they couldn’t see her, Hannah and Bessie could imagine Nell’s face growing pink.

‘That’s very kind of you,’ they heard her say, ‘but I couldn’t leave Tommy. I only get to spend time with him on me day off and—’

‘Oh, I meant Tommy too.’

‘Oh . . . oh.’ Now they could hear that Nell was truly flustered. ‘But . . . but he’s getting too heavy to carry very far.’

‘That’s why I’ve brought this.’

There was a pause and Hannah and Bessie held their breath. Then they heard Nell’s gasp of delight. ‘Oh, Jim. A baby carriage.’

‘I’ve brought it for Tommy. To keep, I mean. It’d be so much easier for you when you take him to work than having to carry him. Oh, Nell, do say you’re not angry or
offended.’

‘Come on.’ Bessie gripped Hannah’s arm. ‘Time we lent the poor lad a hand.’

Together they stepped out of the scullery and into the kitchen.

‘Now isn’t that kind of you, Jim? Now bring it in. We’ll make a space for it here in the kitchen and he can sit in it like the little lord he is.’

The perambulator was a box-like contraption sitting on two huge rear wheels and two smaller ones at the front, with two long curved handles to push it with. Nell still hadn’t spoken, and
Jim was eyeing her anxiously as he manoeuvred it in through the door and set it against the wall in the space that Bessie had already cleared.

‘Oh, just look, a mattress and pillow and even blankets. Put him in it, Nell, do.’

Moments later, Tommy was lying in the pram looking very much at home and beaming up at the four grown-ups watching him.

‘He likes it. What a grand present,’ Bessie patted Jim on the shoulder. ‘And you shall carve the joint of beef I’ve got in special.’

As Hannah and Bessie went back to the scullery, this time no longer pretending to prepare the meal, they glanced back to see Jim taking Nell’s hands in his and she looking up into his
eyes.

‘Now mebbe she’ll believe us,’ Bessie said happily.

As she stood at the sink to peel the potatoes, Bessie began to sing, and just as so many years ago, Hannah joined in.

‘Let all the world in every corner sing . . .’

 
Thirty-Two

‘Oh, my lor’! What have you done to your hair?’ Bessie threw her hands in the air as Nell stepped through the back door.

They’d been sharing the house now for a year. Hannah continued to be happy working at the silk mill, though, unlike her time at Wyedale Mill, her co-workers had not taken the place of her
family. Home was now with Bessie, and Nell and Tommy when they were there. Those were the best times, when the door was closed, the curtains drawn against the world and there was just the four of
them. Though more often than not, it was five, for Jim was now a regular visitor to the terraced house. He and Nell had been officially ‘walking out’ together for most of that time.

At Bessie’s exclamation, Hannah straightened up from where she had been bending over the fire in the range. At the sight of her friend, she gave a little cry, but her surprise soon turned
to admiration. ‘Oh, Nell, it’s lovely.’

‘Lovely? Lovely, you say? I’ll give her lovely,’ Bessie was shouting and waving her arms about. ‘Spoilt her pretty hair. She looks like a whore!’

There was a sudden stillness in the room as Bessie stared at Nell in horror and clapped her hand over her runaway mouth. But the sight of Bessie’s horror-struck face was so comical that
Nell, far from being offended, collapsed against the doorframe, laughing helplessly.

‘If I look like one, then . . . then so does she,’ she spluttered. ‘So does his wife. Mrs Gregory.’

‘Aw, I’m sorry, love.’ Bessie was mortified. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. It’s nowt to do wi’ me. But . . . but I look on you – on both of you
– like you was me own daughters.’

Hannah, recovering from the surprise, moved forward to examine Nell’s hair that was now a bright shade of rich auburn that shone and glowed in the lamplight. Quite seriously, she said,
‘It looks even better on you than on her. D’you know, I thought when I saw her that day, it didn’t look quite natural. But it is a lovely colour.’

‘I’ve been acting as her lady’s maid for a few weeks,’ Nell went on. ‘That poor little creature finally plucked up enough courage to give in her notice. I hope
she’s found someone nicer to work for,’ Nell murmured, sparing a thought for the young girl, who had suffered so under Mrs Gregory’s sharp tongue. ‘Anyway, madam wanted me
to help her dye her hair one day and she suggested I should try it. You won’t believe it, but she helped me do it. I’ve never like my mousy coloured hair, so I wasn’t going to say
no, was I? She seems to’ve taken a liking to me. She’s given me some of the clothes her children have grown out of for Tommy. And they’re hardly worn. He’ll look a little
prince in them. She’s not so bad when you get to know her. D’you know, I think she’s lonely. You’d think she’d have lots of friends, wouldn’t you, but she
doesn’t seem to have any.’

‘Maybe they think she married beneath her. The so-called gentry can be a snobby lot,’ Hannah remarked. She touched Nell’s hair. It felt soft and silky. ‘Well, I like it, Nell.’

She turned to Bessie, who had now sunk into a chair beside the table and dropped her head into her hands. Heaving sobs shook her shoulders. The two girls glanced at each other and then hurried
to her, standing one on either side and bending over her. Tommy, who had come in with Nell, pushed his way between Hannah and the table to lay his head on Bessie’s lap and clutch at her
knees. ‘Nanna, Nanna . . .’ His chubby face threatened to dissolve into tears too.

‘Auntie Bessie, don’t take on so,’ Nell tried to reassure her. ‘I’m not offended, honestly I’m not. I’d sooner you told me the truth an’ if
that’s what you think then . . .’

But Bessie was shaking her head violently. She sat up, dabbed her eyes with the corner of her apron and pulled the little boy onto her knee to cuddle him. ‘There, there,’ she
crooned. ‘It’s only your old Nanna being silly.’

Hannah poured out a cup of tea and set it on the table. ‘Here, drink this. You, too, Nell. Sit down, supper’ll soon be ready.’

‘I should explain,’ Bessie said supping her tea.

‘No need,’ Nell said, patting her hair with pride. ‘I’m taking no notice of you anyway.’

With that, they all laughed again, but Bessie couldn’t let the matter rest there. ‘No, no, I shouldn’t have blurted it out. Not like that, but you see it – it reminded me
. . .’

She glanced uncomfortably at Hannah, took a deep breath and said, ‘I wasn’t entirely truthful with you, love, when you first came back. Oh, I don’t mean I lied to you, but . .
. but I just didn’t tell you everything about my own family.’ She rested her cheek against the top of Tommy’s dark head and closed her eyes. ‘I was too ashamed,’ she
whispered.

‘Ashamed? You, Auntie Bessie? Whatever do you mean?’

‘Do you remember, when you first came back ’ere you was asking about all my family and what had happened to them and where they were?’

Hannah nodded.

‘And I told you about our Peggy running off with a young lad, going to live with his family and that I hadn’t heard anything about her from that day to this?’

‘Yes,’ Hannah whispered.

‘Well, that was the bit that wasn’t quite true. She did run off with him and she did move in with him, but only for a while.’ She was silent for a long moment whilst Hannah and
Nell waited. ‘I . . . I saw her just the once about two years later, hanging around in a rough part of the town. I wasn’t sure it was her at first, because . . . because she’d
dyed her hair.’ She glanced apologetically at Nell once again. ‘That same colour.’ Bessie paused again and then continued. ‘I was just about to go up to her and say,
“Come home, love, and we’ll say no more about it,” but . . . but just before I could, I saw her go up to this toff, smiling all coyly at him, bold as yer like. They spoke for a
minute and then . . . then she put her arm through his and they . . . they went off together.’ Bessie closed her eyes at the agony of her memory. ‘I should have chased after her.
Stopped her there and then. Dragged her home by her awful hair and locked her in. But I didn’t. I couldn’t take it in. Not then. And then it was too late. I couldn’t find her
again even though I tramped the streets for several nights looking for her. But do you know the worst thing?’ Her voice fell to an unhappy whisper. ‘I couldn’t help thinking that
I was glad my Bill wasn’t alive to see what his daughter had become. Now how could I have thought such a thing? How
could
I have ever been glad he wasn’t here any more?’
Fresh tears flowed as she looked up again at Nell, seeking her understanding, her forgiveness. ‘I’m sorry, love.’

Nell smiled a little pensively now. ‘It’s all right, Auntie Bessie.’ She sighed heavily. ‘Maybe I’m not much better. I’m a fallen woman, after all.’

‘No, no, don’t say that,’ Hannah cried, putting her arms around her friend. ‘I won’t let you. You must have loved Mr Edmund and thought he loved you. Just like my
mother believed Jimmy Gregory loved her.’

Nell laughed wryly. ‘Aye, but I should’ve known better. I knew I wasn’t the first, but you always think it’ll be different for you. That they really love you, that you
can change them. But you can’t,’ she added bitterly. Then raising her cup, she echoed Hannah’s favourite saying. ‘A curse on all good-looking men.’

‘And does that include Jim?’ Hannah put in slyly, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

‘Oh, my goodness,’ Bessie cried. ‘Whatever will he say when he sees you?’

And with that, the three of them burst out laughing, with little Tommy chortling too – even though he didn’t understand a word of what they’d been saying.

To Bessie’s surprise, Jim was full of compliments for Nell’s new hair colour. ‘I like it,’ he told her truthfully. ‘It suits you.’

And though they all heard Bessie’s disapproving sniff, this time she kept her lips firmly pressed together.

‘You don’t think I look like a . . .’ Nell cast a wicked glance at Bessie. ‘A lady of the night?’

‘Wha—?’ Jim’s eyes widened and for a moment he looked angry. ‘Well, if you do, then so do my mother and my sister, because their hair’s that colour. Only
difference is, they were born with it. All you’ve done is to give nature a helping hand.’ His tone became firm, indignant. ‘Don’t ever say that about yourself again, you
hear me?’

‘Yes, Jim.’ Nell lowered her head, hiding her bubbling laughter as she saw the consternation on Bessie’s face.

And there the matter might have ended, if it hadn’t been for Jim’s final remark on the subject. ‘It does make you look different. I almost didn’t know you when you opened
the door.’ Then he touched her cheek with a gentle gesture. ‘But you’re still my Nell.’

Hannah stared at her friend, seeing her suddenly through the eyes of others. Yes, it had altered her. If someone who hadn’t seen her for a few years met her now, would they even recognize
her? Hannah wondered. And without her being conscious of it, the germ of an idea – a daring, dangerous idea – was implanted in Hannah’s mind.

 
Thirty-Three

Hannah, Nell and Tommy had been living with Bessie for almost two years when Jim finally proposed to Nell.

‘You’re a lucky girl,’ Bessie assured her. ‘He’s a fine young man and . . .’ She had been about to say more, but bit her lip and looked away.

Gently, Nell added, ‘And he’s a good ’un to take me
and
Tommy on. Is that what you were going to say, Auntie Bessie?’

‘Well . . .’ the older woman was embarrassed, flustered now.

‘But you’re right,’ Nell said. ‘To take on Edmund Critchlow’s bastard as his own takes a real man, a good man. I know that. And when we’re married, he’s
going to adopt Tommy, all legal like, so that he’ll have Jim’s surname.’

‘Aw, Nell, love. That’s wonderful. Have you . . . have you . . . ?’ Again Bessie’s voice faltered. Whilst she was happy for the young couple and for the child, their
marriage would take them away from her. She’d come to love them as her own, especially the little boy whose endearing ways had won her heart. It’d be another loss that would be hard to
bear.

‘In about a month’s time. We thought on Tommy’s second birthday in December. Just a quiet do. After all, I’ve no family and Jim’s only got his mother and his sister
and maybe his colleagues from the station.’

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