Authors: Anchee Min
October 23, 1913
Dear Pearl,
How happy I am to learn that you have been well and are in good health. Your mother is weak although, as always, she shows good spirits. She finally
listened to me and has quit teaching. I took over her classes. Can you believe
it? I also wanted to tell you that I have begun your Charles Dickens books.I am not sure if your mother told you what happened to Absalom. He
went too far inland and got stoned by mobs again. Thank the Lord he
is fine. Two of your father’s Chinese disciples died, I’m sorry to report. Papa has been running the church for Absalom. He is much improved at
preaching. Absalom is so pleased with him that he has started to take even
longer preaching tours, although his absence makes your mother unhappy.I also have this sad news to share: NaiNai passed away last month. Through Absalom’s efforts she finally accepted the conversion. Papa insisted
on waiting for Absalom to conduct the burial ceremony. Papa believed that
God would favor Absalom’s wishes regarding NaiNai’s next life. Papa
didn’t want to take any chances. We all thought it was impossible because
Absalom was so far away. Only a few months ago, Absalom had refused to
return even when Carie called him about her own worsening condition, so
we had little hope.Well, Absalom showed up. He rode the donkey all day and night. The
animal collapsed! NaiNai is so fortunate, because her journey to Heaven
was blessed by Absalom. To a Chinese person, a good death is more
important than a good birth.Carie lives alone now after she sent your sister to Shanghai for schooling. Absalom resumed his tour the day after NaiNai’s burial. He wouldn’t stay
for Carie. Of course, this is nothing new to you.Papa has achieved several new conversions. These came from some of
the people he invited to NaiNai’s burial. They liked Absalom better than
their head monk at the Buddhist temple. There is trouble though. One of
the men has more than one wife, and the other is an alcoholic. Absalom
has disqualified them before, but Papa faked the papers. Will Papa never
learn? He gets carried away in his desire to please Absalom.March 7, 1914
Dear Pearl,
Your mother shared your letter with me. Congratulations on your new
popularity. In just one year you’ve gone from being unable to make friends
to being Captain of the class. I’d also like to congratulate you on winning
the highest honor in the writing competition. It seems that you have made
good use of your Chinese background. By the way, do people in the West know
Confucius?Your mother may have already told you what happened to me. I was a few
months pregnant when I walked out on my husband. I felt terrible carrying
his seed. I thought about taking the Chinese herb medicine to abort the fetus. My mother died taking that herb and you can imagine how scared I was.But about three weeks ago I began to bleed. I went to your mother for help.
Before I developed enough courage to tell her the truth, she figured it out. The
blood wouldn’t stop. She knew that I must be miscarrying. She said that I
could have died if I hadn’t come to her. All I could do was cry. She took me to
the British Embassy doctor. I was unconscious when the doctor finished. I am
fine today and that is the good news. The bad news is that I might not be able
to have children in the future. This has made me sad beyond words.I have been taking piano lessons from Carie. She was right that music
could help me heal. It brings me closer to understanding God. I have
wanted to learn piano ever since we were children. It’s truly a dream come
true for me.Carie has put me in charge of the elementary students. Did she tell you that
our church school has expanded? We will soon have a middle school. Instead
of three classes, we now have five. The school has become so popular that some
locals have even signed up their daughters. You must remember how difficult it
used to be to get peasant families to support their children’s education. This year,
we had to deny a number of applicants due to lack of space. Papa addressed the
problem to the governor of Jiangsu, who in turn promised a parcel of land to
expand the school. Carpenter Chan will be the chief builder.December 2, 1915
Dear Pearl,
You won’t believe this: I am writing you from Shanghai. This is what
happened: My husband abducted me. As far as he was concerned, I was
still his property. He didn’t tell me that he had sold me. Remember, I had
wondered where he got his money to buy a new concubine?Anyway, I ran away and hid in the church. My husband and his hired
men chased me. They beat up Papa when he refused to tell them where
I was hiding. Eventually, they found out. They broke into the church at
night and took me. It was Carie who sent a message to Absalom. Without
delay, Absalom appealed to the governor. He said that my abduction was a
violation of the treaty law. The next day the governor ordered my husband
to either free me or be arrested and beheaded!I didn’t feel safe, because I suspected that my husband would look for
another way to kidnap me. Papa saw suspicious men hanging around our
house. Carie thought that it would be a good idea for me to leave Chin-kiang
for a while. She made introductions for me at the Christian School
for Women in Shanghai. I was offered a scholarship. All I can say is that I
am truly blessed by God.March 24, 1916
Dear Pearl,
Who would believe that the “Paris of the East” is built on sand? The city’s
old name even says it. “Shang-hai-tan,” meaning a sandbank at the
mouth of our great Yangtze River. Emperor Guangxu considered it next
to worthless, I’ve been told. His imperial opinion must have lessened the
sting when he was forced to give it up to foreigners after losing the Second
Opium War. What a lot the English, French, and Germans have done with
that sandbank, my new home!I shouldn’t be singing about Shanghai as if you knew nothing about
it. I well know that you once lived here. In fact, I often picture you here,
imagine where you may have gone, what places you liked best. But forgive
me, I can’t help but share my feelings with you because I have no one else.The Christian school is perfect for me. I have been taking as many classes
as I can. The teachers have all been very helpful, sometimes even staying
after class to answer my many questions. I never knew that there were so
many books, so much to learn.The students are nice, too. At first I was shy and awkward around
them. I felt like such a country bumpkin. I didn’t even know that the
Manchu dynasty had been overthrown! So many other things! But isn’t
it wonderful that we no longer have an emperor, that China will soon
become a republic!My first weeks at the school now seem like a lifetime away. I feel more at
home now and have begun to make some friends. Not like you, of course. But
there are some brilliant people here and there is an electricity in the air. The
most interesting people are the artists, writers, journalists, and musicians. They form a loose group that gathers at certain bars and restaurants in
the city, talking and drinking and arguing for hours on end. I seem to
be falling in with these people more and more. I find it exhilarating, so
different from the life we knew together in Chin-kiang.Dr. Sun Yat-sen is among us. He has been single-handedly leading the
New Republicans to change China. He is a Christian and a Cantonese
by origin. Before he became a revolutionary, he was a physician. He was
educated in the West and studied political science. He went to Japan to
study how the Mingji Reform has changed the country. In 1911, Dr. Sun
returned to China and succeeded in stirring up a military uprising.Pearl, as you can tell, my universe is expanding at the speed of light. If
it wasn’t something I had promised Carie, I would have skipped Sunday
church. My stomach is full, but my mind is hungry.I miss your mother, and I’ll forever be in her debt. Two days ago I went
to visit Grace to deliver your mother’s package. Your sister is turning into
a fine young lady. She is sweet, but a little shy compared to you. Oh, how I
wish you were here with me.September 2, 1916
Dear Pearl,
It’s been six months since I last wrote you. Things have kept speeding up. I have been involved with the National Party of China. Most of our
members are followers of Dr. Sun Yat-sen. Although I’ll always have faith
in God, I find myself open to other ideas. I must now leave for a meeting
and will continue to write when I return.October 27, 1916
This letter is taking too long. My life is in fabulous chaos. I don’t know day
from night anymore. China is undergoing a political transformation.December 13, 1916
Pearl, I must share with you my sorrow, China’s sorrow: Dr. Sun Yat-sen
has been diagnosed with cancer. He is not expected to live. The man who
will succeed him is Chiang Kai-shek. We are not sure if he is trustworthy.
His record shows that he has been an opportunist. Unfortunately, there is
no other candidate equal to him in military experience and connections. He
has been the Commander-in-Chief of China and claims himself a disciple
of Dr. Sun. The fact is that he is the only man who can control the warlords
and who is committed to Dr. Sun’s cause
.January 28, 1917
Dear Pearl,
I must inform you about Carie’s condition. I am sure she has been hiding
the truth from you. I visited her last month. It was lovely to be back in
Chin-kiang, to see all the familiar faces. But I was taken aback when I
called on your mother. She could no longer get out of bed. Apparently, her
health took a turn for the worse when she went back to work at the school
soon after I left for Shanghai. She told me she didn’t want you to return to
China to help care for her. She worries about you constantly. Are you really
planning to return?Before I came back to Shanghai I accompanied Carie to the Deng Family
Village, where she purchased a burial plot for herself. I have no idea why
she picked that place. We didn’t speak of her reasons. I only sensed that she
is so deeply disappointed in Absalom that she doesn’t care to be with him in
death. But the place is beautiful and serene although remote. It broke my
heart that she is quietly doing this. Am I betraying Carie by sharing this
information with you? Carie can’t stand the thought that she might not be
there to receive you when you return.April 15, 1917
Dearest Pearl,
How wonderful it is to learn that YOU ARE ENGAGED, and that you
are on your way back! My good God! I was deeply surprised to learn this
momentous news, the more so because I haven’t heard a word from you for so
long. Of course you have my blessing. In your letter to Carie you said that “the
decision to register for the marriage” was for the “convenience of traveling.” But do I misunderstand something? Should “convenience” be the reason for
marriage? Forgive me for being overly cautious—my own marriage almost
ruined my life. But I suspect that your mother’s condition only gave you an
additional reason to hurry the happy plans for your marriage.