Pegasus: A Novel (8 page)

“Thank you for the compliment,” she said, flirting with him. “Perhaps we can do it
again tomorrow. I think tomorrow is the casino night, and the day after that the masked
ball.” There were special entertainments planned every night, and she had brought
a different gown for each occasion. From what Nick had seen that night, her wardrobe
and her figure were exquisite. For the right man, she would be a glorious catch, but
not for him. Not anymore. He had the
good manners and good sense, in his current circumstances, not to get involved. He
felt as though that part of his life were over now too. He had nothing to offer anyone,
surely not stability, or even a pleasant way of life. All of that was gone. He resisted
the urge to be melancholy, but he was still reverberating from everything that had
happened. And to some degree, he was still in shock, and she could see it.

“I’d be very happy to escort you to the casino,” Nick said pleasantly, although he
had no intention of gambling with the little he had. His father had paid their first-class
passage, and he needed the money they had brought with them, to take care of his sons.
Overnight, he had become responsible, despite his carefree, self-indulgent ways of
the past. Those days were over. He had grown up instantly. And a random night of shipboard
gambling, give or take even a few hundred reichsmark, was no longer possible for him.
For her, he could tell it would be small change. The difference in their circumstances
now made even a casual flirtation with her seem dishonest. He was no longer of her
world. He had become an outcast in his country, and what had previously been his life.
Nothing of all that was visible to her. But he knew the difference, between what he
had once been, only days ago, and what he was now. And in another week, he would be
nothing more than a performer in the circus. It was horrifying to think about and
still impossible to absorb.

“Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said with a seductive glance as she disappeared
into her cabin, and Nick walked slowly back to his own, feeling pensive. He didn’t
really want her, but if he had, she would have been untouchable for him now. Their
lives were miles apart.

Before he went back to his stateroom, he checked on the boys. Both were sound asleep,
and he gently covered Lucas with his blanket,
as he clutched the teddy bear he had brought with him, that he had slept with all
his life. And he was wearing pale blue pajamas. Toby was sleeping, too, with the peaceful
face of the boy he still was. And then Nick went back to his own room, sat down quietly
in a comfortable chair, and lit a cigar. He had much to think about these days. He
poured himself a cognac from the decanter in his room, and sat in the dark, in the
moonlight, watching the smoke from his cigar, and the brightly lit end, wondering
what the future had in store.

The casino night with Monique was as pleasant as the night before. They danced after
the gambling, and it was a lively evening Nick enjoyed. He had always liked gambling,
within reason, but he only played roulette twice that night, for modest amounts, and
lost. Monique won five hundred reichsmark, and he didn’t play again. He was being
cautious.

Both boys were enjoying the ship, the weather was fine, and the horses were doing
well. And on the night of the masked ball, halfway through the trip and far from land,
they hit a November storm. And the ship began pitching and rolling. With apologies
to Monique—who didn’t suffer from seasickness it turned out—Nick went to see the horses,
after he checked on his sons, who were fine in their cabin. The horses were frantic
and wild eyed in the storm, and Nick stayed with them for several hours trying to
calm them. There wasn’t much he could do, except be there and try to reassure them
as best he could, patting and stroking them and speaking to them in a soothing tone.
It didn’t make much difference, but he didn’t want to leave them alone, in case one
of them got hurt. They were crucial
now for him and the boys, and late into the night as the storm seemed to get rougher,
if that was possible, the worst happened. Pluto looked at him and quietly lay down,
a dreaded sign in horses. Nick was well aware of the consequences as soon as the beautiful
stallion lay down, and there was nothing Nick could do to stop him. He was equally
aware that if Pluto didn’t get up again on his own within hours or a day at most,
he would be dead when they arrived in New York. And he couldn’t appear in Florida
with only one Lipizzaner, and particularly without the stallion he had promised. Pluto
was by far the more impressive of the two Lipizzaners, although Nina was lovely too.
But she was outclassed by the stallion in breeding, looks, and size.

Nick stayed with him all night, and by morning things had not improved. The storm
continued to get worse, and with a feeling of panic, he returned to his cabin to change
and went to the dining room for breakfast. Neither of his boys was feeling well, and
they decided to stay in their cabin. He didn’t tell them about Pluto. There would
be time enough for that piece of bad news later, if the horse refused to get up. Nick
was still hoping he would, perhaps when the storm was over.

He ran into Beauregard Thompson at breakfast in the dining room, and they were among
the few passengers at the buffet that morning. Most people had stayed in their rooms,
seasick from the storm, including the Kentuckian’s wife, who he said was very ill.
But Thompson was a hardy soul, and Nick had always been a good sailor. Nick mentioned
that he was having a problem with one of his horses and asked for Thompson’s advice.

“There’s nothing much you can do, except hope he gets back up on his legs again,”
he said, sharing Nick’s concern. “That’s a death sentence for your stallion if he’s
lying down. How many hours has it
been now?” Nick told him, and he nodded. “I had a mare do that to me last year. I
thought she’d get back on her feet again and survive it, but she didn’t. It killed
her after two days. We put her down, but she was nearly gone when we did. She would
have died on her own within two more hours. If this damn storm would calm down, you’d
have a chance, but with all this going on, I doubt you’ll get him up. He’s probably
seasick,” which was contributing to the problem. “I’ll take a look at him after breakfast,
if you like,” he promised.

Nick led him downstairs to the boxcar when they both left the dining room. The Arabians
were still frightened, but holding up, and Nina looked desperately unhappy, but she
was still standing. Pluto was in the same spot where Nick had left him, on the ground.
He hadn’t budged an inch, and looked up at Nick with an expression of defeat and despair,
and then laid his splendid head down on the floor of his stall, as Beauregard marveled
at him.

“My God, what a spectacular creature,” the man said in amazement. “How big is he standing
up?”

“Just over sixteen hands,” which was on the tall side for a Lipizzaner.

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” he said in open admiration. “He’s incredible.”
Pluto looked woebegone as he lay in his stall, but he was still strikingly handsome.
“You’ve got to save him.”

“Yes, but how?” Nick said, frightened. He could feel Pluto slipping right between
his fingers. And Nick would hate to tell Alex that the beautiful young stallion had
died before they arrived.

“There isn’t a damn thing you can do except hope and pray he decides to survive this.
He’s young enough to make it through it if he wants to.” All Nick could do was hope
he wouldn’t die.

Beauregard Thompson stayed with him for a while, and then went back to his own cabin
to check on his wife, and Nick stayed
alone in the boxcar with the horses for the rest of the day. The room stewards had
promised to watch over the boys. And he knew that Toby could entertain Lucas. The
storm finally calmed a little, but Pluto didn’t move and barely made a sound even
when Nick stroked him and talked to him. He seemed to be getting weaker.

By the end of the day, Nick was in despair. It was obvious that the stallion wasn’t
going to make it, and it was only a matter of time before he died, maybe hours. And
there was no way to feed him or even give him water while he lay there. Nick knew
enough about horses to realize that he was watching the beautiful young stallion’s
final hours. At one point, he even thought of being merciful, and using his pistol
to put him down, but he didn’t have the heart to do it. He sat down next to him instead,
and continued stroking his neck and crooning to him, and his eyes filled with tears.
It was heartbreaking to watch the Lipizzaner slowly die.

And finally, he laid his own head down against Pluto’s massive shoulder, and knowing
no one was there to hear him, Nick begged him to stay alive.

“I know this must sound stupid to you,” he said in a low voice to the horse, “and
you deserve better than life in a circus, but I need you for my boys. Without you,
they probably won’t want us in Florida, and if they don’t, I have no way to feed Toby
and Lucas. If you don’t come to the circus with us, we’re really in a bad spot here.
Pluto, if you’d just stay alive for me, I swear I’ll take care of you forever, and
I’ll owe you my life. My boys are depending on you and so am I. Please don’t die … please … we
need you so desperately.… I need you.… I’ll do everything for you I can. I promise.…”
Tears slid down Nick’s cheeks as he spoke to him.

He suddenly noticed that the storm had calmed completely. The pitching and rolling
had stopped. And as though he had noticed
it, too, Pluto turned his head to look at Nick, lying alongside him, and he shook
his head as though to nod. And then he gave a gigantic shudder, which Nick was terrified
would be his last, and with enormous effort, and a loud whinnying, Pluto fought his
way to a standing position on shaking legs. Nick watched, unable to believe his eyes.
Pluto was up! He had made it, and with any luck at all, and some sustenance, he wouldn’t
die! It was as though the stallion had made his own decision, and a supreme effort
for his new owner.

Nick put his arms around the horse’s neck and sobbed. He had never been so grateful
for anything in his life. The horse dying on their way to Florida would have been
one blow too many in a series of brutal shocks that had turned their life upside down.
And now it felt right-side up again. He offered the horse some water, which Pluto
took gingerly with a grateful glance at Nick, and then he turned to look at the other
horses, and Nina whinnied to him from her stall, as though to say welcome back. Nick
stayed with him for another hour to make sure he didn’t lie down again, but the stallion
was eating and already looked better when he left.

Nick went to find Beauregard Thompson immediately, and knocked on the door of his
cabin when he didn’t see him on deck. He came to the door, was surprised to see Nick,
and said he had been ministering to his wife.

“How is he?” he asked in a somber tone, referring to the stallion. And he was sure
Nick had come to tell him he was dead. He hadn’t expected him to survive, he had already
been lying down for too long.

“He’s up,” Nick said with a broad smile, and Thompson stared at him.

“I can’t believe it. When I saw him, he was nearly gone.” Nick nodded in agreement.
“What did you do?”

“I talked to him. I pleaded with him to get up, and he did.” Nick looked ecstatic,
and was enormously relieved.

“You’re a better man than I am. I couldn’t get my mare to get up last year, no matter
what I did. I had the vet in to see her three times, and we still lost her. But I
have to admit,” he said, laughing, “I never asked her to get up. Well, good for you.”
He pounded Nick on the shoulder. “We’ll have a drink to celebrate after dinner.”

“Thank you. I just wanted you to know.” Nick was hoping to see Monique that night
after dinner. He had been too busy with Pluto and worried about him, to see her at
all ever since the horse had lain down. She had continued to show interest in him,
and had sent a note to his cabin with a bottle of champagne saying that she missed
him. She was trying hard. And at another time in his life, she would easily have succeeded
in seducing him. But right now, there was just too much going on to pay serious attention
to her.

When Nick went back to his stateroom, he was smiling broadly. Pluto had survived,
and as much as it could be right now, their future was safe. Just as Nick had asked
him to, Pluto had saved his life.

For the last day of the trip, Nick kept a close eye on Pluto and the other horses,
but they all seemed to be doing fine, and the stallion seemed stronger than ever once
he was on his feet and eating and drinking again. He seemed to have formed a deeper
bond with Nick after his illness, and whinnied with pleasure whenever Nick came to
the boxcar. It was as though he knew how much he meant to him now, and what was expected
of him. Nick felt as though they had made friends.

Nick spent his daytime hours with his sons, playing shuffleboard, swimming, shooting
skeet with Toby, and walking around the deck together. And with Pluto back on his
feet again, he spent the evenings with Monique. They danced until the wee hours, admired
by everyone who watched them. They made a splendid couple, and were obviously having
a good time. Their tangos were legendary on the ship, and they looked dashing whenever
they were together. Monique had a sense of showmanship and was enjoying the attention
they got, and being with a man as handsome as Nick. And finally, when he took her
back to her cabin, since it was the last night, Nick
kissed her. He’d had a little too much champagne, celebrating Pluto’s recovery, and
he couldn’t resist Monique’s charms as they stood in the light of the November moon,
bright and heavy in the sky. They would be reaching New York the next day.

“When are you going back to Germany?” she asked in a whisper, after he kissed her
for the second time. She was anxious to see him again, and continue the pleasures
of the trip.