Penny Dreadful Multipack Vol. 1 (Illustrated. Annotated. 'Wagner The Wehr-Wolf,' 'Varney The Vampire,' 'The Mysteries of London Vol. 1' + Bonus Features) (Penny Dreadful Multipacks) (241 page)

    "That's a nice allowance for a strong
healthy fellow!" exclaimed the Resurrection Man contemptuously. "One
month upon that will make his flesh as soft and flabby as possible. It's a
shame, by heavens! to kill human beings by inches in that way!"
    "What a precious fool the Buffer has made of
himself!" said the Cracksman after a pause.
    "The Buffer!" ejaculated the paralytic waiter, who
had been affecting to dust a table as an excuse to linger in the room with the
chance of obtaining an invitation to partake of the flip: "is any thing
wrong with the Buffer?"
    "Safe in lavender," answered the Cracksman,
woolly; "and ten to one he'll swing for it."
    " My eyes! I'm very sorry to hear that," cried the
waiter. "He was a capital fellow, and never took the change when he gave
me a joey * [*Four penny pieces]  to pay for his three-penn'orth of rum of
a morning."
    "Well, he's done it brown at last, at all events,"
continued the Cracksman.
    "What 
has
 he done ?" asked the
waiter .
    "Why - what he isn't likely to have a chance of doing
again," answered the Cracksman. "I sup pose you know that he married
Moll Flairer, the sister of him as was killed by Bill Bolter at the Old House
in Chick Lane, three years or so ago? Well - he had a child by Moll; and a very
pretty little creetur it was. Even a fellow like me that can't be supposed to
have much feeling for that kind of thing, used to love to play with that little
child. It was girl; and I never did see such sweet blue eyes, and soft flaxy
hair. The moment she was born, off goes the Buffer and subscribes to half a
dozen burying clubs. The secretaries and treasurers was all exceedin' glad to
see him, took his tin, and put down his name. This was about two year ago. He
kept up all his payments reg'lar; and he was also precious reg'lar in keeping
up such a system of ill-treatment, that the poor little thing seemed sinking
under it. Now, as I said before, I'm not the most remarkablest man in London
for feeling; but I’m blow'd if I couldn't have cried sometimes to see the way
in which the Buffer and Moll would use that child. I've seen it standing in a
pail of cold water, stark naked, in the middle of winter, when the ice was
floating on the top; and because it cried, its mother would take a rope, half
an inch thick, and belabour its poor back. Then they half-starved it, and made
it sleep on the bare boards. But the little thing loved its parents for all
that; and when the Buffer beat Molt. I've seen that poor child creep up to her,
and say in such a soft tone, 
'Don't cry, mother?
' Perhaps all the
reward it got for that was a good weltering. How the child stood it all so
long, I can't say: the Buffer thought she never would die so he determined to
put an end to it at once. And yet he didn't want money, for we had had some
good things lately, what with one thing and another. All I know is that he
first takes the little child and flings it down stairs; he then puts it to bed,
and sends his wife to the doctor's for some medicine, and into the medicine he
pours some laudanum. The little creature went to sleep smiling at him; and
never woke no more. This was two days ago. Yesterday the Buffer goes round to
all the 
burying clubs
, and gives notice of the death of the child.
But somehow or another the thing got wind; one of the secretaries of a club
takes a surgeon along with him to the Buffer's lodgings, and all's blown."
    "Well - I never heard of such a rig as that before,"
exclaimed the waiter.
    "As for the rig," observed the Cracksman, coolly,
"that is common enough. Ever since the burial societies and funeral clubs
came into existence, nothink has been more common than these child-murders. A
man in full work can very well afford to pay a few halfpence a-week to each
club that he subscribes to, even supposing he puts his name down to a dozen.
Then those that don't kill their children right out, do it by means of
exposure, neglect, and all kinds of horrible treatment; and so it is easy
enough for a man to get forty or fifty pounds in this way at one sweep."
    "So it is - so it is," said the waiter:
" 
burial clubs
 afford a regular premium upon the murder
of young children. Ah! London is a wonderful place! Every thing of that
kind is invented and got up first in London.  I really do think that
London beats all other cities in the world for matters of that sort. Look, for
instance, what a blessed thing it is that the authorities seldom or never
attempt to alter what they call the
 low neighbourhoods
. why, it's
the low neighbourhoods that make such gentlemen as you two, and affords you the
means of concealment, and existence, and occupation, and every thing else.
Supposing there was no boozing-kens, and patter-cribs like this, how would such
gentlemen as you two get on? Ah! London is a fine place - a very fine place;
and I hope I shall never live to see the day when it will be spoilt by
improvement!"
    "Come, there's a good deal of reason in all that,"
exclaimed the Resurrection Man. "Here, my good fellow," he added,
turning to the waiter, "drink this tumbler of egg-hot for your fine
speech."
    The waiter did not require to be asked twice, but imbibed
the smoking beverage with infinite satisfaction to himself.
    "I never heard any thing more true than what that
fellow has just said," observed the Resurrection Man to his companion in
iniquity. "Only suppose, now, that all Saint Giles's, Clerkenwell, Bethnal
Green, and the Mint were improved, as they call it, where the devil would crime
take refuge ? - for no one knows better than you and me that we should uncommon
soon have to give up business if we hadn't dark and narrow streets to operate
in, cribs like this ken to meet and plan in, and the low courts and alleys to conceal
ourselves in. Lord! what indeed would London be to us if it was all like the
West- End?"
    "And so the fact is that the authorities very kindly
leave in existence and undisturbed, those very places which give birth to you
gentlemen in the first instance," said the waiter, "and sustain you
afterwards."
    "Well, you ain't very far wrong, old feller,"
exclaimed the Cracksman. "But, blow me, if this ever struck me
before."
    "Nor me, neither," said the Resurrection Man,
"till the flunkey started the subject."
    "Ah! there's a many things that has struck me since
I've been in the waiter-line in flash houses of this kind," observed the
paralytic attendant, shaking his head solemnly; "but one curious fact I've
noticed, - which is, that in nine cases out of ten the laws themselves make men
take to bad ways, and then punish them for acting under their influence."
    "I don't understand that," said the Cracksman.
    "I do, though," exclaimed the Resurrection Man;
"and I mean to say that the flunkey is quite right. We ain't born bad:
something then must have made us bad. If I had been in the Duke of Wellington's
place, I should be an honourable and upright man like him; and if he had been
in my place, he would be - what I am."
    "Of course he would," echoed the waiter.
    "Now I understand," cried the Cracksman.
    "I tell you what we'll do," said the Resurrection
Man, after a few moments' reflection ; "this devil of a Holford doesn't
appear to hurry himself, and the rain has just begun to fall in torrents ;- so
we'll have another quart of flip, and the flunkey shall sit down with us and
enjoy it; and I will just tell you the history of my own life, by way of
passing away the time. Perhaps you may find," added the Resurrection Man,
"that it helps to bear out the flunkey's remark, 
that in nine
cases out of ten the laws themselves make us take to bad ways, and then punish
us for acting under their influence.
"
    The second supply of flip was procured; the door of the
parlour was shut; room was made for the paralytic waiter near the fire; and the
Resurrection Man commenced his narrative in the following manner.

THE RESURRECTION MAN'S HISTORY

"I WAS born thirty-eight years ago, near the village of
Walmer, in Kent. My father and mother occupied a small cottage - or rather
hovel, made of the wreck of a ship, upon the sea-coast. Their ostensible
employment was that of fishing: but it would appear that smuggling and
body-snatching also formed a portion of my father's avocations. The rich
inhabitants of Walmer and Deal encouraged him in his contraband pursuits, by
purchasing French silks, gloves, and scents of him : the gentlemen, moreover,
were excellent customers for French brandy, and the ladies for dresses and
perfumes. The clergyman of Walmer and his wife were our best patrons in this
way; and in consequence of the frequent visits they paid our cottage, they took
a sort of liking to me. The parson made me attend the national school regularly
every Sunday ; and when I was nine years old he took me into his service to
clean the boot and knives, brush the clothes, and so forth. I was then very
fond of reading, and used to pass all my leisure time in studying books which
he allowed me to take out of his library. This lasted till I was twelve years old,
when my father was one morning arrested on a charge of smuggling, and taken to
Dover Castle. The whole neighbourhood expressed their surprise that a man who
appeared to be so respectable, should turn out such a villain. The gentlemen
who used to buy brandy of him talked loudly of the necessity of making an
example of him: the ladies, who were accustomed to purchase gloves, silks, and
 
eau-de-cologne,
 
wondered that such a desperate ruffian should have allowed them to
sleep safe in their bed.; and of course the clergyman and his wife kicked me
ignominiously out of door.. As all things of this nature create a sensation in
a small community, the parson preached a sermon upon the subject on the
following Sunday, choosing for his text '
Render unto Caesar the things that
are Ceasar's, and unto God the things that are God's,
'
 
and earnestly enjoining all his congregation to unite in
deprecating the conduct of a man who had brought disgrace upon a neighbourhood
till then famed for its loyalty, its morality, and its devotion to the laws of
the country.
    "My father was acquitted for want of evidence, and
returned home after having been in prison six months waiting for his trial. In
the meantime my mother and myself were compelled to receive parish relief: not
one of the fine ladies and gentlemen who had been the indirect means of getting
my father into a scrape by encouraging him in his illegal pursuits, would
notice us. My mother called upon several; but their doors were banged in her
face. When I appeared at the Sunday School. the parson expelled me, declaring
that I was only calculated to pollute honest and good boys ; and the beadle
thrashed me soundly for daring to attempt to enter the church. All this gave me
a very strange idea of human nature, and set me a-thinking upon the state
 
of society. Just at that period a
baronet in the neighbourhood was proved to be the owner of a
 
smuggling vessel, and to be pretty deep in the contraband business
himself. He was compelled to run away: an Exchequer process, I think they call
it, issued against his property; and every thing he possessed was swept sway.
It appeared that he had been smuggling for years, and had defrauded the revenue
to an immense amount. He was a widower: but he had three children - two boys
and a girl, at school in the neighbourhood. Oh! then what sympathy was created
for these '
 
poor dear bereaved little ones
,' as the parson called them in a
charity sermon which he preached for their benefit. And there they were,
marshalled into the parson's own pew, by the beadle; and the parson's wife wept
over them. Subscriptions were got up for them ;- the mayor of Deal took one
boy, the banker another, and the clergyman's wife took charge of the girl; and
never was seen so much weeping, and consoling, and compassion before!
    "Well, at that time my mother had got so thin, and
weak, and ill, through want and affliction, that her neighbours gave her the
name of the
 
Mummy,
 
which she has kept ever since. My
father came home, and was shunned by every body. The baronet's uncle happened
to die at that period, and left his nephew an immense fortune:- the baronet
paid all the fines, settled the Exchequer matters, and returned to Walmer. A
triumphal reception awaited him: balls, parties, concerts, and routs took place
in honour of the event;- and the mayor, the banker and the clergyman and his
wife were held up as the patterns of philanthropy and humanity. Of course the
baronet rewarded them liberally for having taken care of his children in the
hour of need.
    "This business again set me a-thinking; and I began to
comprehend that birth and station made an immense difference in the views that
the world adopted of men's actions. My father, who had only higgled and fiddled
with smuggling affairs upon a miserably small scale, was set down as the most
atrocious monster unhung, because he was one of the common herd; but the
baronet, who had carried on a systematic contraband trade to an immense amount,
was looked upon as a martyr to tyrannical laws, because he was one of the upper
classes and possessed a title. So my disposition was soured by these proofs of
human injustice, at my very entrance upon life.
    "Up to this period, in spite of the contemplation of
the lawless trade carried on by my father, I had been a regular attendant at
church and at the Sunday-school; and I declare most solemnly that I never went
to sleep at night, nor commenced my morning's avocations, without saying my
prayers. But when my father got into trouble, the beadle kicked me out of
church, and the parson drove me out of the school; and so I began to think that
if my religion was only serviceable and available as long as my father remained
unharmed by the law, it could not be worth much. From that moment I never said
another prayer, and never opened a bible or prayer-book. Still I was inclined
to labour to obtain an honest livelihood and I implored my father, upon my
knees, not to force me to assist in his proceedings of smuggling and
body-snatching, to both which he was compelled by dire necessity to return the
moment he was released from gaol. He told me I was a fool to think of living
honestly, as the world would not let me; but be added that I might make the
trial.
    "Pleased with this permission, and sincerely hoping
that I might obtain some occupation, however menial, which would enable me to
eat the bread of honest toil, I went round to all the farmers in the
neighbourhood, and offered to enter their service as a plough-boy or a
stable-boy. The moment they found out who I was, they one and all turned me away
from their doors. One said, '
Like father, like son;
'
 
- another asked if I was mad, to think that I could thus thrust
myself into an honest family;- a third laughed in my face; - a fourth
threatened to have me taken up for wanting to get into his house to commit a
felony;- a fifth swore that there was gallows written upon my countenance;- a
sixth ordered his men to loosen the bull-dog at me;- and a seventh would have
had me ducked in his horse-pond, if I had not run away.
    "Dispirited, but not altogether despairing, I returned
home. On the following day, I walked into Deal, (which almost joins Walmer) and
called at several tradesmen's shops to inquire if they wanted an errand-boy. My
reception by these individuals was worse than that which I had met with at the
hands of the farmers. One asked me if I thought he would run the risk of having
his house indicted as the receptacle for thieves and vagabonds ;- a second
pointed to his children, and said, '
Do you suppose
 
I want to bring them up in the
road to the gallows?
' 
 
- a third locked up his till in
affright, and threatened to call a constable ;- and a fourth lashed me severely
with a horse-whip.
    "Still I was not totally disheartened. I determined to
call upon some of those ladies and gentlemen who had been my father's best
customers for his contraband articles. One lady upon hearing my business,
seized hold of the poker with one hand and her salts-bottle with the other;- a
second was also nearly fainting, and rang the bell for her maid to bring her some
 
eau-de-cologne -
 
the very
 
eau-de
-
cologne
 
which my father had smuggled for her ;- a third begged me with
tears in her eyes to retire, or my very suspicious appearance would frighten
her lap-dog into fits;- and a fourth (an old lady, who was my father's best
customer for French brandy), held up her hands to heaven, and implored the Lord
to protect her from all sabbath-breakers, profane swearers, and drunkards.
    "Finding that I had nothing to expect from the ladies,
I tried the gentlemen who had been accustomed to patronise my father previous
to his
 
misfortune.
 
The first swore at me like a
trooper, and assured me that he had always prophesied I should go wrong :- the
second spoke civilly, and regretted that his excellent advice had been all
thrown away upon my father, whom he had vainly endeavored to avert from his
wicked courses (it was for smuggling things for this gentleman that my father
had been arrested) ;-and the third made no direct answer, but shook his head
solemnly, and wondered what the world was coming to.
    "I was now really reduced to despair. I, however,
resolved to try some of the very poorest tradesmen in the town. By these
miserable creatures I was received with compassionate interest; and my case was
fully comprehended by them. Some even gave me a few halfpence; and one made me
sit down and dine with him, his wife, and his children. They, however, one and
all declared
 
that they could not take
 
me
 
into their service, for, if they did, they would be
sure to offend all their customers.
 
Thus was it that the overbearing conduct and atrocious tyranny of
the more wealthy part of the community, compelled the poorer portion to smother
all sympathy in my behalf.
  

    A sudden thought now struck me. I resolved to
call next day upon the very baronet who had himself suffered so much in
consequence of the customs-laws. Exhilarated by the new hope awakened within
me, I repaired on the following morning to the splendid mansion which he now
inhabited. I was shown into a magnificent room, where he received me, lounging
before a cheerful fire. He listened very patiently to my tale, and then spoke,
as nearly as I can recollect, as follows:-  'My good lad, I have not the
slightest doubt that you are anxious to eat the bread of honesty, as you very
properly express it. But that bread is not within the reach of every body; and
if we were all to pick and choose in this world, my God! what would become of
us? My dear young man, I occupy a prominent position amidst the gentry of these
parts, and I have also a duty to fulfil towards society.'  Society has
condemned you - unheard, I grant you: nevertheless, society
 
has
 
condemned you. Under these circumstances I have no alternative,
but to decline taking you into my service; and I must moreover request you to
remember that if you are ever found loitering upon my grounds, I shall have you
put in the stocks. I regret that my duty to society sunspots me thus to act.'
    "You may conceive with what feelings I heard this long
tirade. I was literally confounded, and retired without venturing upon a
remonstrance. I knew not what course to adopt. To return home and inform my
parents that I could obtain no work, was to lay myself under the necessity of
becoming a smuggler and a body-snatcher at once. As a desperate resource I thought
of calling upon the clergyman, and explaining all my sentiments to him. I hoped
to be able to convince him that although my father was bad, or supposed to be
bad, yet I abhorred vice in all its shapes, and was anxious only to pursue
honest courses. As a Christian minister, he could not, I imagined, be so
uncharitable as to infer my guilt in consequence of that of my parent; and,
accordingly, to him did I repair. He had just returned to his own house from a
funeral, and was in a hurry to be off on a shooting excursion, for he had on
his sporting-garb beneath his surplice. He listened to me with great
impatience, and asked if my father still pursued his contraband trade. Seeing
that I hesitated how to reply, he exclaimed, turning his eyes up to heaven, '
Speak
the truth, young man, and shame the devil!
' 
 
I answered in the affirmative; and he then said carelessly, 'Well,
go and
 
speak to my wife; she will act in the matter as she chooses.'
Rejoiced at this hopeful turn in the proceeding, I sought his lady, as I was
desired. She heard all that I had to say, and then observed, 'Not for worlds
could I receive you into my house again; but if your father has any silks said
gloves, very cheap and very good, I do not mind purchasing them. And remember,'
she added, as I was about to depart, 'I do not want these things; I only offer
to take them for the purpose of doing you a service. My motive is purely a
Christian one.'
    "I returned home. 'Well,' said my father,' what luck
this morning?' - 'None,' I replied. - 'And what do you mean to do, lad?' - 'To
become a smuggler, a body-snatcher, or any thing else that you choose,' was my
reply; 'and the sooner we begin, the better, for I am sick and tired of being
good.'
    "So I became a smuggler and a resurrection man.
    "You have heard, perhaps, that Deal is famous for its
boatmen and pilots. It is also renowned for the beauty of the sailors'
daughters. One of those lovely creatures captivated my heart - for I can even
talk sentimentally when I think of those times; and she seemed to like me in
return. Her name was Katharine Price - Kate Price, as she was called by her
acquaintance; and a prettier creature the sun never shone upon. She was good
and virtuous, too - and she alone understood my real disposition, which, even
now that I bad embarked in lawless pursuits, still panted to be good and
virtuous also. At this time I was nineteen, and she was one year younger. We
loved in secret - and we met in secret
 
;
 
for her parents would not for one moment have listened to the idea
of our union. My hope was to obtain a good sum of money by one desperate
venture in the contraband line, and run away with Kate to some distant part of
the country, where we could enter upon some way of business that would produce
us an honest livelihood. This hope sustained us!"
    "At this time there were a great many sick sailors in
Deal Hospital, and numerous funerals took place in the burial-ground of that
establishment. My father and I determined to have up a few of the corpses, for
we always knew where to dispose of as many
 
subjects
 
as we could obtain. By these means I proposed to raise enough
money to purchase in France the articles that I meant to smuggle into England
and thereby obtain the necessary funds for carrying out the plans upon which
Kate and myself were resolved.
    "Good luck attended upon my father and myself in
respect to the body-snatching business. We raised thirty pounds; and with that
we set sail for France in the boat which we always hired for our smuggling
expeditions. We landed at Calais, and made our purchases. We bought an immense
quantity of brandy at tenpence a quart; gloves at eightpence a pair; three
watches at two pound ten each ; and some
 
eau-de-cologne,
 
proportionately cheap. Our thirty pounds we calculated would produce
us a hundred and twenty. We put out to sea again at about ten o'clock at night.
The wind was blowing stiff from the nor'east; and by the time we had been an
hour at sea it increased to a perfect hurricane. Never shall I forget that
awful night. The entire ocean was white with foam; but the sky above was as
black as pitch. We weathered the tempest until we reached the shore about a
mile to the south'ard of Walmer, at a place called Kingsdown. We touched the
beach - I thought every thing was safe. A huge billow broke over the stern of
the lugger; and in a moment the boat was a complete wreck. My father leapt on
shore from the bow at the instant this catastrophe took place: I was swallowed
up along with the ill-fated bark. I was, however, an excellent swimmer; and I
combated, and fought, and struggled with the ocean, as a man would wrestle with
a savage animal that held him in his grasp. I succeeded in gaining the beach;
but so weak and enfeebled was I that my father was compelled to carry me to our
hovel, close by.
    "I was put to bed: a violent fever seized upon me - I
became delirious - and for six weeks I lay tossing upon a bed of sickness.
    "At length I got well. But what hope remained, for me?
We were totally ruined - so was the poor fisherman whose boat was wrecked upon
that eventful night. I wrote a note to Kate to tell her all that had happened,
and to make an appointment for the following Sunday evening, that we might meet
and talk over the altered aspect of affairs. Scarcely had I despatched this
letter to the care of Kate's sister-in-law, who was in our secret, and managed
our little correspondence, when my father came in and asked me if I felt myself
well enough to accompany him on a little expedition that evening. I replied in
the affirmative. He then told me that a certain surgeon for whom we did
business, and who resided in Deal, required a particular subject which had been
buried that morning in Walmer Churchyard. I did not ask my father any more
questions; but that night I accompanied him to the burial-ground between eleven
and twelve o'clock. The surgeon had shown my father the grave in the afternoon;
and we had a cart waiting in a lane close by. The church is in a secluded part,
surrounded by trees, and at some little distance from any habitations. There
was no danger of being meddled with :- moreover, we had often operated in the
same ground before.
    "To work we went in the usual manner. We shovelled out
the soil, broke open the coffin, thrust the corpse into a sack, filled up the grave
once more, and carried our prize safe off to the cart. We then set off at a
round pace towards Deal, and arrived at the back door of the surgeon's house by
two o'clock. He was up and waiting for us. We carried the corpse into the
surgery, and laid it upon a table. 'You are sure it is the right one?' said the
surgeon. -  'It is the body from the grave that you pointed out,' answered
my father.  - 'The fact is,' resumed the surgeon, 'that this is a very
peculiar case. Six days ago, a young female rose in the morning in perfect
health; that evening she was a corpse. I opened her, and found no traces of
poison; but her family would not permit me to carry the examination any
further. They did not wish her to be hacked about. Since her death some
love-letters have been found in her drawer; but there is no name attached to
any of them.' - I began to feel interested, I scarcely knew why; but this was
the manner in which I was accustomed to write to Kate. The surgeon continued:
'I am therefore anxious to make another and more searching investigation than
on the former occasion, into the cause of death. But I will soon satisfy myself
that this is indeed the corpse I mean.' - With these words the surgeon tore
away the shroud from the face of the corpse. I cast an anxious glance upon the
pale, cold, marble countenance My blood ran cold - my legs trembled - my
strength seemed to have failed me. Was I mistaken? could it be the beloved of
my heart - 'Yes; that is Miss Price,' said the surgeon, coolly. All doubt on my
part was now removed. I had exhumed the
 
body of her whom a thousand times
I had pressed to my sorrowful breast - whom I had clasped to my aching heart. I
felt as if I had committed some horrible crime - a murder, or other deadly
deed!
    "The surgeon and my father did not notice my emotions,
but settled their accounts. The medical man then offered us each a glass of
brandy. I drank mine with avidity, and then accompanied my father from the spot
- uncertain whether to rush back and claim the body, or not. But I did not do
so.
    "For some days I wandered about scarcely knowing what I
did - and certainly not caring what became of me. One morning I was roving
amidst the fields, when I heard a loud voice exclaim,- 'I say, you fellow
there, open the gate, will you?' I turned round, and recognised the baronet on
horseback. He had a large hunting whip in his hand.- 'Open the gate!' said I;
'and whom for?' 'Whom for!' repeated the baronet; 'why, for me, to be sure,
fellow.-' 'Then open it yourself.' said I. The baronet was near enough to me to
reach me with his whip; and he dealt me a stinging blow across the face.
Maddened with pain, and soured with vexation, I leapt over the gate and
attacked the baronet with a stout ash stick which I carried in my hand. I
dragged him from his horse, and thrashed him without mercy. When I was tired, I
walked quietly away, he roaring after me that he would be revenged upon me as
sure as I was born.
    "Next day I was arrested and taken before a magistrate.
The baronet appeared against me, and - to my surprise - swore that I had
assaulted him with a view to rob him, and that he had the greatest difficulty
in protecting his purse and watch. I told my story and showed the mark of the
baronet's whip across my face. The justice asked me if I could bring forward
any witnesses to character. The baronet exclaimed, 'How can he? he has been in
Dover Castle for smuggling.' - ' Never!' I cried emphatically.- 'Well, your
father has, then,' said the baronet. This I could not deny.-' Oh I that's just the
same thing!' cried the magistrate; and I was committed to gaol for trial at the
next Maidstone assizes.
    "For three months I lay in prison. I was not, however,
completely hardened yet; nor did I associate with those who drank, and sang,
and swore. I detested vice in all its shapes; and I longed for an opportunity
to be good. It may seem strange to you, who know me
 
now,
 
to hear me speak thus ;- but you are not aware what I was
 
then!
   
 
"I was tried, and found
guilty. The next two years of my life I passed at the hulks at Woolwich,
dressed in dark grey, and wearing a chain round my leg. Even there I did not
grow so corrupted, but that I sought for work the moment I was set at liberty
again. I resolved not to return home to my parents, for I detested the ways
into which they had led me. Turned away from the hulks one fine morning at ten
o'clock, without a farthing in my pocket nor the means of obtaining a morsel of
bread, my prospects were miserable enough. I could not obtain any employment in
Woolwich: evening was coming on - and I was hungry. Suddenly I thought of
enlisting. Pleased with this idea, I went to the barracks, and offered myself
as a recruit. The regiment stationed there was about to embark for the East
Indies in a few days and wanted men. Although certain of being banished, as it
were, to an most unhealthy climate for twenty-one years, I preferred that to
the life of a vagabond or a criminal in England. The sergeant was delighted
with me, because I could read and write well; but the surgeon would not pass
me. He said to me 'You have either been half-starved for a length of time, or
you have undergone a long imprisonment, for your flesh is as flabby as
possible.' Thus was this hope destroyed.
    "Now what pains had the
 
law taken to make me good - even supposing, that I was really bad
at the time of my condemnation? The law locked me up for two years,
half-starved me, and yet exacted from me as much labour as a strong, healthy,
man could have performed then the law turned me out into the wide world, so
weak, reduced, and feeble, that even the last resource of the most wretched -
namely, enlisting in a regiment bound for India - was closed against me!
    "Well - that night I wandered into the country and
slept under a hedge. On the following morning I was compelled to satisfy the
ravenous cravings of my hunger with Swedish turnips plucked from the fields.
This food lay so cold upon my stomach that I felt ready to drop with illness,
misery, and fatigue. And yet, in this Christian land, even that morsel, against
which my heart literally heaved, was begrudged me. I was not permitted to
satisfy my hunger with the food of beasts. A constable came up and took me into
custody for robbing the turnip field. I was conducted before a neighbouring
justice of the peace. He asked me what I meant by stealing the turnips? I told
him that I had fasted for twenty-four hours, and was hungry. 'Nonsense,
hungry!' he exclaimed; 'I'd give five pounds to know what hunger is! you kind
of fellows eat turnips by way of luxury, you do - and not because you’re
hungry.' I assured him that I spoke the truth.-' Well, why don t you go to
work?' he demanded.- 'So I will, sir, with pleasure, if you will give me
employment.' I replied.-' Me give you employment,' he shouted, 'I wouldn't have
such a fellow about me, if he'd work for nothing. Where did you sleep last
night?' - 'Under a hedge, sir,' was my answer. - 'Ah! I thought so,' he
exclaimed: 'a rogue and vagabond evidently.' And this excellent specimen of the
'Great unpaid' committed me forthwith to the treadmill foe one month