Perchance

Copyright @Lila Felix 2012

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To my family who put up with this new thing that
I do called writing.

To my Dad who took the time to give his girls a rock ‘n’ roll education.

To my posse who
love me no matter what
: Shelly C., Amanda C., Mandy A., Gloria G., Melinda S., Ann
ie H., and Rachel H.

And thank you Monique O’Conner James for kicking m
y butt about my love of adverbs and ellipses.

Remi

             
I volunteered to leave.  She would never kick me out or ask me to leave.  She wouldn’t even hint at the fact that things were getting harder and harder and something had to give.
Tuesday was getting more and more out of control and the twins were a handful on their own.
I was the oldest.  I could go and live with someone else.  I could get a job. I had tried several times but she said that education was my only priority. 
That way I would never have to rely on a man.
She had relied on a man and he had left her high and dry and now she worked two full time jobs to support us. 

             
I think her name was Daisy.  It was something cheery and friendly but what she had come here
to say was anything but nice
. 
Mom had too many kids to take care of
, that’s what she said
and after Tuesday ha
d shoplifted from the local grocery store again. Yes, again.  And while the store owner hadn’t pressed charges,
Daisy had
to
come by for a visit
at the
request of the Sheriff’s Office
. 

             
Tuesday
had volunteered
to leave
too.  She was going to go live with our grandparents in Michigan.  Mom was on the phone trying to find a cousin or an aunt to take me.
It was like she was peddling off extra soup or something.
 

             
This way Mom would only be left with the twins, Scout and Sable.  They were both in
middle school
an
d they couldn’t skip school yet, hopefully.

             
Mom had had it hard even before he left.  When he wasn’t working he was drunk and when he wasn’t drunk, you almost wished he was.  They fought constantly and she was always miserable.
She had warned me ever since not to put your faith in a man, not to trust them, not to bank your life on a man taking care of you.

             
Tues
day was fifteen
and was already packing her st
uff in a suitcase.  Grandma Aline
was on her way from Michigan to p
ick her up.  But it would take two or three
days for her to get here, so I’m not sure why she was in such a hurry.
But Grandma only had room for one of us
and honestly she wasn’
t my biggest fan and t
he feeling was mutual
.

             
“
Remi
, your Aunt Brenda wants to talk to you.”
Ding Ding Ding, we have a soup taker!

             
“Ok.” I got up from the table where I was pretending to nurse a bowl of oatmeal.

             
I answered
the phone and my Mom gave me a tight lipped smile.

             
“
Hello?” I sounded pissed, but I really wasn’t.  I was annoyed.

             
“
Hello Remi
, it’s your Aunt Brenda.
  I spoke
to your mother and the only way I can afford to get you here is by bus.  Your mother will explain more, but I am happy to help out.  I think you and I will get along wonderfully.”

             
She said all of this in a sticky
,
sweet as southern iced tea voice.

             
“Thank you.  I promise not to be a burden.”

             
She laughed a big haughty laugh,
“Of course you won’t darlin’” and she repressed her voice to a soft whisper. “After all it wasn’t you who skipped school all the time, right?”

             
I laughed a little, “No Ma’am, not me.”

             
“I heard the story Remi.  I’m glad you’re coming.  I don’t have any kids of my own so it will be nice to have some company.” She sounded sincere, but I wasn’t a good judge of sincerity.

             
“I’m sorry Aunt Brenda, but where do you live?” 

             
“I live in Southern Louisiana
honey. It’s a small
er community, but there’s some cities nearby
and it’s really pretty here.”

             
Yay! I get to ride on a stinky bu
s from Northern Texas to Louisiana
.
  My luck I would get stuck next to a child molester who smelled like he washed himself with a crap covered rabid dog.

             
“OK,” I said, looking at my Mom who was stoic as her kids made plans to leave her. “When can I come?”

             
“I can buy your ticket today if you want or we can wait.”

             
“As soon as possible, please.  School starts soon
there
, right?”

             
“Yeah darlin’ school starts in about 9 days.”

             
“Thank you.  I’m going to pack my bag now
.
”

             
I hung up and phone and packed
without saying a word.

Cooper

             
Why had he waited so long?  I mean, seriously, why wait until I am freakin’ seventeen years old before you decide you want to see me?  And my Mom?  She agreed to it.  He had the nerve to call our house after he ran out on us, well on my Mom
, when she was pregnant with me after seventeen years!
  He had the balls to ask to see me? Not only did I not want to see him because he was a loser, but now he was a loser who had grown a pair and decided it was time
to get to know me?  Screw that crap.

             
But
, unfortunately for me,
I was still under age and my Mom, who I normally loved to pieces, said it was ok.  Not only did she say it was fine for me to visit a perfect stranger, but they decided that I should spend my Senior year with him at his house!  I very nearly asked her what the hell she
had smoked that had made
her go bat crap crazy enough to do this to me. 

             
Don’t get me wrong, I lo
ve
d
my Mom.  I love
d
her more than anything
and she’s raised me on her own, with no help from anyone, including Mr. Big Balls. 
She always showed up to all of my school events and didn’t hesitate to give me a come down on me harder th
an nails when I started to slouch
off in school.  But this was every shade of stupid.

             
“Cooper, honey, are you going to pack? Your flight leaves in the morning.  Do you need me to
             
get anything for your trip?” 

             
She was perched on the corner of my bed teetering like she was going to fall off at any moment. 

             
I heaved a heavy sigh and flounced back on my bed.  One last try couldn’t hurt.

             
“Mom, don’
t make me go there.  He’s a dic…
”

             
She clipped my words short, “Language Cooper Neal.”

             
“Sorry, um, he’s a really big butthole and I would rather be scalped than to go live with him.”

             
“Cooper, go stay there for a while, if he’s absolutely the worst person on the face of the Earth,
             
then you can come back.  But you had better have a darned good reason.  And at least you can say that you tried.”

             
My toddler Cooper made an appearance and I folded my arms across my chest.