Perfect Fit (17 page)

“You say that, but it doesn’t seem to be.” Julianne studied her. “I’m here if you need to talk.”

“I know. Thanks.” Regina fought to not cry. It wouldn’t change anything. She stared at Julianne and thought about Julianne’s own loss.

“I want to ask you something. And it might hurt you to think about it. But I want you to take a moment before you answer. Answer honestly.”

“Go ahead and ask.” Julianne nodded.

Regina thought a bit to formulate her thoughts. “When you and Charles had the accident, did you blame him for causing it?”

“No.” Julianne’s tone was adamant. She paused then frowned. “When I woke and was told Charles was dead and my baby might die, all I could think was loss.”

“I know that. I was there.” Regina leant forward and asked again, since she didn’t think Julianne had understood her question, “But after, when you had time to think, did you blame him then? He caused the accident.”

“The answer is the same, Reggie.” Julianne stared at her. “Why would I blame him if it was an accident?” Julianne leaned closer. “Do you think Charles would have blamed me if he’d lived and I had died? Knowing him, I know he wouldn’t have. Why would I blame him? I love him.”

Regina leant back at her words—almost the same as Spencer’s.

“I did feel guilty that I lived and he didn’t,” Julianne said softly.

Regina nodded. She could relate to that—she felt the same about her baby. About Driscoll’s band mates who hadn’t survived. Even how the lives of those who’d survived had changed.

“But I eventually came to the realisation that I couldn’t let the guilt eat at me.” Julianne touched her shoulder. “That even if we don’t understand it, things happen. Devastating, life changing things that rip you apart and you don’t think you can survive.” Julianne inhaled then let the breath out shakily. “But you do even when you wish you didn’t. Then life keeps going on and you have to also. Life is a precious gift, Reggie, and each moment is to be appreciated.”

Regina felt Julianne’s words deep inside and she wished it could be that easy to let go of the guilt.

“It’s not easy,” Julianne said.

“What, are you a mind reader?”

“Nope. I figured you were thinking the same thing I was when someone had a similar conversation with me.” Julianne smiled gently.

“Who did you have this talk with?”

“Driscoll.” Julianne chuckled softly. “That man has an innate sense to know things you don’t think anyone else can see. He realised that although I was acting fine, I was anything but. He came by my house one day. This was after Rissa,” she said, referring to her daughter, “and I were home and recovering. Everyone had started to get back to normal. I didn’t feel like I was ever going to be normal.” She clasped her hands together. “Dris came by and he at first said it was to see his lovely goddaughter. He cleaned the house, put away groceries he’d bought and made me shower. Then took care of Rissa while I slept. When I woke he had a meal for me than we had a talk. He said something similar to what I just told you.” Julianne smiled sheepishly. “I screamed at him and kicked him out. But he was determined. And came by once a week and we repeated the pattern of that first time. I don’t even know why I let him in, but I did. I didn’t even realise he was forcing me back to the land of the living. He eventually got me out of the house. It took a while but I was healing. Dris is a stubborn bastard.”

“He is.” Regina nodded at the admission. “He did the same to me after…the accident.”

“He did?”

“About a year or so after, when he was still recovering. I don’t know how he knew, but he came by when Spence wasn’t there and tried to get me to talk. Tried to pull me out of my…depression.” Since she had faced it already, Regina could admit at least that much. “He did, but then…” Regina remembered the guilt that ate at her each time she saw him.

“Then?”

“Nothing. He didn’t come by anymore when he saw I was okay.” Regina shrugged. She wouldn’t admit why he’d stopped coming by and possibly why there was the distance between them.

“He’s like that. Good folks but at times you want to strangle him.”

“Yep. That’s him.” Regina chuckled. “You wonder sometimes about his thought process.”

“Yeah. He has a special way of looking at things.” Julianne studied her. “Did my answering your question help?”

Regina shrugged again. She didn’t know if it had, but hearing what Julianne felt made her think of Spencer. Made her think what if the roles were reversed.
Would I have blamed Spence?
No. She wouldn’t have. Her cell made a beep and Regina lifted it and glanced at the display. She smiled and stood.

“I’m leaving for the day.”

“What? Where are you going?” Julianne rose.

“Playing hooky with my husband. We’re going to an early dinner then to catch a movie at Seaver Drive-in and Bowling.” Regina gathered her briefcase and purse.

“Sound like fun. What movie is showing?” Julianne walked towards the office doorway.

“
White Palace
.” Regina followed her.

“Ohh…I love that movie,” Julianne said. “Maybe I’ll ask Keenan for us to go see it later.”

“If you do and see one of our vehicles and the windows are steamed, don’t drop by to say hello.” Regina grinned wickedly.

“You hussy.”

“Takes one to know one.” Regina laughed.

“Damn right.” Julianne chuckled and hugged her. “Have fun. Enjoy the moment,” she whispered in her ear.

Regina nodded. She would do exactly that. Whistling, she left to meet Spencer for their date.

* * * *

Regina inhaled deeply as they walked, enjoying the crisp fall day in the first week of November. The sky was already darkening as the night descended earlier this time of year. Spencer’s hand in hers made the time even more special. Soon, they wouldn’t be able to do their nightly walks, since it would get too cold or snowy.

She felt better about her and Spencer having reconnected doing things they loved together. The talk with Julianne had helped a little, but only in the aspect that she realised she did need to enjoy the moments with Spencer. The guilt was still there. Although he hadn’t brought it up again, her revelation of guilt for the loss of their child, causing the death of most of Driscoll’s band mates and almost killing Driscoll had opened up a lot of old wounds. Spencer’s assurance that he didn’t blame her for anything, and that he was sure that Driscoll didn’t either, sounded good in theory. She didn’t believe him since she wasn’t so sure that he knew what Driscoll was feeling about her. She wasn’t the only one who went out of her way to avoid him—Driscoll avoided her too. Spencer’s words about himself were genuine, but she still blamed herself for what happened. After their confrontation, she’d noticed that sometimes he watched her, but since he hadn’t said anything further, she left it alone. She was just happy and grateful that they were together. Moments like this were precious, and she’d never take them for granted again.

“I love this time of year. The trees changing colours and looking so beautiful.” Spencer stopped, and she along with him, Then he turned her into his arms. “Just like you look every day. I’m so glad to be here with you.”

“Someone is feeling sappy tonight.” She rested her hands on his jacket.

“No man wants to be called sappy.” He winked. “But I know you love it when I am.”

“I do. I love you.” She kissed the underside of his jaw. “Every sappy part of your luscious body.”

“An insult and compliment rolled into one. I’ll take it.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“Yeah you will.” Regina chuckled. “Oh, before I forget. What time do we need to get to your hockey game on Friday night?”

She was looking forward to watching him play again. They both loved hockey and she loved seeing him as he played. She’d missed that for the last year.

“Three o’clock. I—”

His cell rang, and when he reached for it, she stepped back. She didn’t recognise the ringtone—that was good. At least it wasn’t the hospital.

Spencer looked at the display and a wide grin filled his face as he picked up. “Lila, I was wondering when you would call me back.”

Regina arched an eyebrow. That was the third time she’d heard that name, and she still didn’t know much about the woman who was obviously a friend of Spencer’s. Regina frowned when she recalled this Lila had given Spencer advice about them. She moved a little away to give him the feeling that he had some privacy, but still listened in to his side of the conversation

“I was worried about you. I haven’t seen you since that night.”

Regina glanced at him sharply, wondering what night he was referring to.

Spencer listened for a while then he replied. “You should have called me. I would have gone to the funeral with you.” He paused to listen again. “I know you can take care of yourself.” Then again. “Damn it, Lila. That isn’t what I meant. I just—” Lila lifted her voice, but Regina couldn’t make out what she was saying.

Spencer paced and rubbed the back of his neck, then shoved his hand through his hair. “Damn stubborn woman.” His tone was fond. “I just wanted to be there for you. It’s called being supportive… No, my wife wouldn’t have had a problem with me being there for you.” Spencer looked at Regina. “She trusts me.” He smiled, then frowned. “Yes, I did take your advice.” Spencer listened again, and chuckled. “No need to gloat. I’m not the one who thought I was coming onto them.” He was silent, then laughed loudly. “No, I’m not going to let you live that down.” Spencer shook his head. “I’ll see be seeing you soon. Okay, bye.” He hung up, the smile still on his face.

Regina studied his expression and thought of the conversation she had heard, which had confirmed that Spencer and this Lila were indeed friends. “You seem very close to this woman.”

“Yeah, we are. She’s smart, savvy and has a warped sense of humour.” Spencer slung his arm over her shoulder, pulling her against his side, then got them walking again. “She reminds me a lot of you.”

“That’s interesting.” Regina titled her head to the side. “Has Driscoll met her?” She was proud she didn’t hesitate or flinch when she said his name.

“Not yet. I do plan to introduce them.” Spencer chuckled. “I can picture it now. I think she’ll be shocked to meet him. He’s going to knock her off her feet.”

That Spencer was going to introduce her let Reggie know that he did consider Lila a close friend. With Driscoll being who he was, they were cautious of who they introduced to him. Regina hadn’t met Lila, but from what she’d gleaned from their conversation, she thought Spencer was wrong—Lila was the one who would surprise Driscoll. He was used to being the one in control, and she’d love to see someone make him lose it. She glanced back towards Jennifer’s house and made a mental note to introduce Driscoll to Jennifer. At the neighbourhood party, Regina had spent a lot of time with Jennifer, and since she and Driscoll had been avoiding each other, she didn’t think they had got a chance to meet. Jennifer would be a good match for him. Shake him out of his calm. She stilled as she realised what she was thinking—she wasn’t on good enough terms with Driscoll to be thinking of introducing him to anyone.

“Reggie, are you okay?”

“I’m good.” She forced a smile. “I’m wondering if you’re hugging on me so hard because you think I’m jealous?” She felt her smile become more genuine. “Because I’m not. I’m looking forward to meeting her.” She paused briefly. “Unless there’s a reason you wouldn’t want to introduce us?”

“No reason at all. I’ll do it when I get a chance.”

Regina stared at him.

“I will. Now let’s continue our walk.” Spencer said. He released her then slid his hand around her waist and led her on for their walk.

Regina stifled a smile. Knowing her husband as she did, she didn’t believe him for a minute. Now more than ever, she was curious about this woman he was friends with.

* * * *

A few days later, Regina looked over at Spencer. He was reclining on the other end of the couch from her, engrossed in the TV.

“Why don’t you invite Lila over for dinner?”

“She’s working today,” he said absently.

“You know her schedule?”

“I saw her yesterday morning at the hospital and she mentioned it. She doesn’t usually work weekends, but she’s covering for one of her employees.” Spencer jumped up, gesturing to the TV. “Stupid fucker. Look at that ref, Reggie. He must be blind.”

Regina looked and saw her team score. “You’re going to owe me a foot rub.” Regina wiggled her toes. “I love hockey, especially when I’m right.”

“Gloating is not part of hockey.” Spencer flopped back on the couch. “I’m glad the referee of our games isn’t as blind as that one.”

“You were just like that when you won your last game.” Regina patted his hand. “You all really need to stop the gloating dance. The other teams are going to beat you all with their sticks.”

Yesterday, Spencer’s team had trounced their opponents. His team were in sync, and they were good at what they did.

“Dakota did a good job coming up with the dance.” Spencer grinned. “Dris is working on a song to go along with it.”

She frowned, recalling seeing Driscoll as well as Stuart from a distance—neither man had come over to her and Spencer when they’d arrived, as they would have in the past.

“I’ll make sure to walk with bail money. I envision that next time you all dance then include a song there will be fight and you all get arrested.”

“There are a few cops on both sides of the team so they can help us out.” Spencer shrugged.

“Or you all could be good winners and not do anything to gloat.”

“That’s part of the fun.” Spencer smirked then laughed. “Hell, last time the other team won, we had to all go to a bar and wear heels. I have no clue how women do it. Those things are torture devices.”

“Heels?” Regina’s eyes widened. “You, Dakota, Driscoll and Stuart in heels. That I would have loved to see.” Regina leaned over to him. “Tell me there are pictures.”

“If there were, there are not any longer.” Spencer shook his head. “They miraculously disappeared.”

“Humph, meaning someone stole them.” Regina shook her head. “You all are so bad.”