Authors: Carly Phillips
She slid her thumb over the head and moisture slickened her finger. He jerked in her grasp and her hips writhed in response.
“What the hell?” He bolted upright in bed and caught her gaze. “Erin.” His tone held a serious warning.
“Mmm?” She pulled down the comforter with her free hand, then pushed at his briefs, wanting them gone.
“We shouldn’t do this again,” he said, his voice thick with arousal.
She paused and looked up, knowing from his gruff tone he was fighting with himself and his desire. “Why not? It’s not like you can get me pregnant.”
His eyes darkened. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he muttered.
“But what a death it’ll be,” she teased, tugging on his briefs once more, urging more action and less speech.
He held his body stiff, drawing her attention. “As long as you understand that I’m here for you and the baby, but as far as the future I don’t . . . I mean, I can’t give you—”
“Happily ever after,” she said before he could put his own spin on things.
“Exactly.” He breathed out, sounding relieved, and shifting his gaze away from hers. “I have a job that takes me away for long stretches of time. It’s dangerous and I just don’t—”
Erin didn’t need to hear any more about why he couldn’t provide her with the family she craved. Instead she pulled her pride around her like armor. “What makes you think I’d want that kind of future from you anyway?” she asked, deliberately nonchalant.
Which was true, for right now. Combustible chemistry and joint parenthood weren’t enough to base a lifetime commitment on.
But the fact that he already knew he wouldn’t want her
that way
hurt.
More than it should. So she pushed the thought out of her mind and focused on the present and on him.
“Lift your hips,” she said, and was shocked when he complied.
She drew his briefs down his muscular legs and tossed them aside. When she came up next to him once more, she found him propped on his elbows, waiting. For her.
Completely nude, his erection now freed, he was hard and big and all hers.
“Be careful what you wish for,” he said, studying her until her face flushed with heat.
He thought she was uncomfortable? That she’d change her mind? Then he probably forgot the woman she’d become that night. Emboldened by her memories, she ran her finger down his long, hot length until he shuddered.
She grinned and lowered her head until her hair brushed his thighs and her breath heated his skin. His groan told her she was getting to him—and she hadn’t really touched him yet. Not the way she wanted to. Closing her eyes, she licked him once, twice, and then finally slid her tongue down the same path her finger had taken. His hips bucked upward and she let out a pleased sigh. Finally, she grasped him with one hand and slid her mouth over his waiting erection, enclosing him completely.
With his acquiescence, she gave herself permission to do the same, to lose herself in his taste, his scent . . .
In him.
One lick and Cole’s entire body lit up. And when she pulled him into her warm, wet mouth, he thought he had died and gone to heaven. His arm gave out and he fell back against the mattress. Apparently the surprising seductress took that as a
go
because she started to work his cock in the most perfect combination possible.
Her hand cupped his length, twisting up and down while her mouth, that unbelievable mouth, took him deeper than he thought she could handle until he almost swore he touched the back of her throat. Then she eased off, her delicate tongue circling the head with an occasional hum that vibrated along his shaft. Up and down with her hand, accepting every thrust of his hips that pushed him deeper into her waiting mouth. Faster than he thought possible, his climax drew closer, his cock grew harder. His balls drew up tighter. He saw stars behind his eyes.
Reaching down, he tugged at her hair, letting her know he was ready, but instead of backing off, she kept at it, maintaining that delicious suction. And when she grazed her teeth along his shaft, he was done for. His hips jerked up and he came, his entire being thrown into the strongest, hardest climax of. His. Life. Erin accepted everything he gave, slowing her movements but not stopping until she’d wrung every last shudder from his body and every drop of moisture from him.
Cole lost all sense of time and place. When he came back to himself, she was staring at him with glassy eyes and a pleased smile on her swollen lips.
Hell. Why did they have to be so damned good together in bed? He could have kept his distance if they didn’t go and do . . .
this
. But they had.
And they weren’t finished. Not by a long shot. The hell of it was, Cole didn’t want to be done. What man could turn down a sexual dynamo like Erin?
He crooked a finger her way. “Your turn.”
“I don’t think you’re quite ready,” she said, her cheeks pink with embarrassment.
Cole closed his eyes and groaned. That cute little blush encapsulated why Erin Marsden was everything Cole should stay away from. Beneath the woman who’d given him the best blow job he ever had was a sweet girl who could still be embarrassed by what she’d done. Cole was dark where Erin was light, his past ugly where everything about her was beauty and grace. She’d remain that way long after he went under again . . . as long as he didn’t destroy her first.
Still, he’d gotten them into this position, and he didn’t just mean in bed. They were connected by more than just sex. But as long as she knew not to build white picket fences around him, they’d be just fine. They’d already had that conversation, he reminded himself. So he could feel free to just enjoy
now
.
“I said, come here,” he told her.
Her eyes glazed a bit more at his command and she shifted until she was beside him once again. He pushed her tangled hair off her face. Without makeup, she was even more innocent-looking, more sweet.
He’d tasted that sweetness before and he intended to do it again now. “Lay back.”
She raised her eyebrows and complied without question. He grasped one of her legs and pulled it open, then the other, until she was spread wide for him. With shaking hands and little finesse, he yanked her silk shorts down, shocked to realize she wasn’t wearing underwear beneath.
“You’re just trying to torture me,” he muttered.
“Not really. I sleep like this every night,” she informed him.
“Of course you do.” He’d already decided to torment her the same way she’d done him and lowered his head, allowing only his hot breath to touch her bare mound.
He took in her feminine scent and his entire body stiffened in response. In record time, he was ready to go again. But he wasn’t giving her that treat too quickly. If he was going to allow himself this, knowing that whatever he and Erin shared in bed had to be temporary, he wanted memories to keep with him in the future.
So when they played nice for the sake of their kid, when she finally looked at him and saw the real Cole Sanders, the one his father raised, Cole would have them to hold on to.
Right now, he wanted her begging him to take her.
Her legs were trembling and he braced a hand on either thigh before dipping his head for the long-awaited treat, and sweet heaven, she tasted good. He slid his tongue between her wet folds, lapping at her over and over, savoring the unique flavor that was Erin. He remembered exactly what made her moan, made her writhe in need, buck her hips and call out his name. He knew where to lick, where to suckle and when to ease off with teasing flicks of his tongue.
Only when she was shaking, straining against his mouth for release, did he give her what she wanted, thrusting one finger into her moist heat and nipping the tight bud with his teeth. Erin’s body went from trembling to stiff as she came, crying out his name long and hard. He suckled her clit through her entire orgasm, waiting for the tremors to subside before easing off her and giving her a minute to return to reality.
“Cole,” she said in a husky voice.
“Yeah, honey?” he asked, sliding back up on the bed.
“As awesome as that was? It wasn’t enough. I need you inside me.”
Oh, hell, this woman was practically made for him. She wasn’t begging, but it was damn close enough. His body was near to bursting.
“I can do that.” He lifted himself over her and paused, calculating how fast he could get to the bathroom and back.
“You don’t need protection,” she said softly, surprising him. “I mean, not just because I can’t get pregnant, but . . . I’m . . . you know.” That blush covered her cheeks again.
Yeah, he knew. She was clean. In so many more ways than him. “I am too. I had a complete physical when I came out from undercover.”
“Okay then.” She nodded, her expression dazed but certain.
“Okay,” he said, and looked into her eyes for the first time.
As soon as he met that wide-eyed gaze, the emotion he’d been holding at bay slammed into him hard. Yeah he’d been with her before, but this time was different, and not just because he didn’t have to wear a condom. She was carrying his baby.
Jesus.
He glanced at her pale stomach, mostly flat, but there was a slight bump he hadn’t noticed before. He jerked his head up and she laughed.
“You won’t hurt me—or the baby.”
She’d read his mind. He knew that, but for some reason it helped to hear her say it.
“Do you not want to do this?” Her voice dipped low. Her lashes fluttered down and she looked everywhere but at him.
He’d never been with a pregnant woman, but he’d had buddies whose wives had been pregnant, and he knew all about raging hormones, feminine insecurities over getting bigger. Cole had never enjoyed those beer-induced conversations, but he was glad for them now.
“Honey, you are so damned beautiful. Of course I want you.” His gaze traveled from her stomach, to the breasts he intended to explore later, then to her mouth.
Which he realized he hadn’t yet kissed. Maybe that connection would reassure her that no matter what he couldn’t give her in the future, right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to get inside her body.
He leaned down and trapped her mouth with his, and what he’d intended to be a soft seduction flared into a raging inferno. He devoured her, knowing he was not only giving her a taste of him, but showing her what she tasted like on his tongue. She groaned beneath him and threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling at the same time she kissed him back, matching him in both desire and need.
Unable to stop himself, he rocked his hips against hers, letting his erection swell and thicken against her soft folds, arousing her with a slow, stroking glide.
“Mmm,” she sighed into his mouth, and arched her back up for better friction.
He shifted his hips from side to side, giving her some of what she needed, but not everything. Not yet. Even if he was killing himself, he thought, there was more he wanted from her first.
He trailed his lips from her mouth, down the side of her cheek, neck, throat, pausing to dampen a patch of skin that begged for a taste.
She tugged at his hair. “Inside me. Now.”
“Greedy,” he said, chuckling. “Not yet.”
He slid lower until he reached her breast, licking around her soft flesh, noting she was bigger than he remembered. Not much, but enough for him to notice. He plumped one full mound in his hand, before pulling one tight nipple into his mouth.
She whimpered. Obviously she was more sensitive too, but since she wasn’t complaining, he took advantage, flicking his tongue back and forth over her nipples.
“Please, please,” she said, bending her knees to entice him.
Her hips gyrated beneath him and he loved the way she cradled him in her thighs and her slick moisture dampened his cock. He grinned and moved to her other breast, giving it the same treatment, prolonging her sweet agony, only this time he used his teeth, grazing her sensitive nipples.
She nearly bucked him off her as she writhed and cried out. “I need you inside me,” she said, her voice almost breaking with the depth of her need. “Now, Cole. Please, I need you now.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” He braced his arms on either side of her, readying himself.
Her eyes were bright, her face glistening, desire making her even more beautiful. Fuck.
He poised at her entrance, unable to tear his gaze from her face as he entered her, even as he knew he shouldn’t look. That watching her eyes soften as he pressed inside, felt her heat and warmth cushion him, would only make complicate things.
As if they aren’t complicated enough,
Cole thought, and thrust into her completely.
“Oh my God,” she said, her body clamping tight around him.
He knew exactly what she meant. It was just them. Skin to skin, no barrier. He’d never felt anything like it before. Never not used a condom. With this woman, he never planned to use one again.
Unable to remain still, he slid out and back in and suddenly he wasn’t thinking; he was feeling. An avalanche of sensation hit him from all sides, taking him higher, faster than ever before. She met his thrusts, her moans and sighs telling him she was right there with him. No way would he come without her, but he didn’t have to worry. As quickly as his climax approached, hers did as well, her body slamming upward with each thrust he made inside. She came beneath him, her nails digging into his back, and when he heard his name on her lips, he followed her right over the cliff.
Erin woke up wrapped in heat, her body totally sore
in the best possible way. She enjoyed every aching muscle, especially when she recalled the reasons behind each one. A glance at the clock told her it was almost time to get up for work, but she had a few minutes before her alarm went off.
Time enough to think about last night. A night she wouldn’t trade for the world. Right now Cole slept beside her, having pulled her into his arms in his sleep, but she had no doubt he’d wake up, remember . . . and withdraw. She swallowed hard, deciding her best defense was to expect the behavior and act like she just didn’t care. If she was going to play in his league, she’d have to accept his rules.
Even if she was developing feelings for the self-contained man who held her close in sleep and pushed her away during daylight hours. She already knew she was one of those girls for whom sex wasn’t just sex. She couldn’t help it. She’d been raised to take it seriously, and when she did sleep with a guy, it was because she was ready to deepen the relationship.
Cole was the one man for whom she’d broken her rule, but that had been the first time they slept together. This time she’d had time to think. And this time she knew him better. If not details about his past, she understood more about the kind of man he’d become and she’d discovered her instincts about him were correct. He had a protective streak, he knew how to take care of her, he did it without complaint, and he anticipated her needs.
How could she not have begun to appreciate his finer qualities? But she’d agreed that this was about sex, not commitment. Their future held child custody agreements, joint parenting—when he was in town—and other things she hadn’t begun to contemplate.
All she needed to do was act cool and remind herself his caring was about his protective streak and not anything he felt for her beyond a sense of duty. Yeah, that hurt. But it was the truth and she’d do well to remember it.
On that thought, she lifted the covers and rolled away from Cole in an attempt to get out of bed before he woke. Unfortunately her alarm went off before she made her escape.
“Running again?” he asked in a sleep-roughened voice.
She shut the alarm on her cell phone. “Nope. Just getting up for the day. It’s not like I can disappear on you this time.”
“Are you okay?” he asked, surprising her.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“You haven’t looked at me, for one thing.”
Forcing herself to turn over, she met his gaze. And wished she hadn’t. First thing in the morning, Cole Sanders was even more sexy than ever. His hair was mussed and stood at odd angles, razor stubble darkened his jaw, his brooding eyes assessed her through heavy lids, and all she could think about was climbing on top of his broad chest and kissing him senseless.
“Pregnancy hormones,” she muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m hungry. I need to shower and get something to eat before work.”
“Okay, well, I’ll jump in the shower real quick and make us something while you get ready.” Throwing the comforter off, he rose, perfect in his nudity.
From his muscled arms and defined abs to the tattoos on his biceps and upper back, he was simply amazing. If she allowed her gaze to travel lower, there were even more things she could ogle, but she refrained. Because she, on the other hand, had pulled the blanket back over her and now held on for dear life.
She wasn’t one to flaunt her body on a good day. At four months pregnant, she wasn’t feeling particularly comfortable with herself, the curves she was developing, or the lack of a waist that had suddenly occurred. Last night she’d been too caught up in the moment to be shy, but that wasn’t the case this morning.
“Go ahead.” She waved him away, indicating he should use the shower first. And quickly.
His gaze dropped to her fingers, clutching at the blanket. “Erin?”
“Hmm?” she asked too brightly.
“You’re gorgeous, and if you didn’t need to get to work, I’d strip that cover off you and pick up where we left off last night.”
A small moan escaped her lips, but he was gone without indicating he’d heard. A few minutes later, she heard the creaking of pipes and the sound of water running in the shower. She was dying to join him.
With a groan, she snuggled deeper into the blanket. How she was going to keep her distance was beyond her, but she had no choice if she wanted to survive their enforced closeness with her emotions intact.
• • •
Cole was making breakfast in the kitchen. He
removed the bread from the fridge and was opening the bag when Erin’s scream from the other room startled him.
He dropped the bread and bolted for the front door. “What happened?”
“I went to get the newspaper from the porch. I opened the door and . . . look!” She pointed beyond the entry, her hand shaking, her face pale.
He shifted her behind him and pulled his gun from his back holster before cautiously checking outside. A dead animal that looked more like roadkill than a pet lay on her porch in an open shoe box.
A gagging noise sounded behind him. He turned to see Erin run for the bathroom in the hall.
“Shit,” he muttered. Not wanting to taint evidence, he left the box outside and headed to help her first.
He stood in the doorway of the half-bath downstairs while she dry-heaved into the toilet. He cringed, something too near the region of his heart twisting at her pain and discomfort.
Without asking, he stepped inside and wet a damp towel, then knelt beside her.
“Go away,” she moaned into the toilet.
Cole ignored her, merely lifting her hair so he could lay the cold towel over the back of her neck.
“Feels good,” she said begrudgingly. He understood she was more embarrassed than angry at him for not giving her privacy.
“If you’re okay, I need to call your brother and get someone over here to process the . . . evidence.” Since her retching had stopped, he didn’t mention the dead animal specifically.
“Go.” She waved a hand and this time he listened.
A few minutes later, both Mike and Sam arrived in separate cars, Mike in an SUV, Sam in his patrol car. Erin was in the kitchen sipping ginger ale, and Cole met the men at the door.
Sam, in uniform, knelt in front of the box and frowned. “Jesus,” he muttered. “What kind of sicko would scoop an already dead animal off the road?”
“One who doesn’t want to do the dirty work herself to make her point,” Cole said.
“Her?” Erin came up behind him.
He glanced over, noting she was still pale. Unable to help himself, he wrapped a steadying arm around her shoulders. “Let’s sit down inside so we can talk this through,” Cole suggested.
“One of our forensics people will be here to process things any minute,” Sam said.
They all headed for the family room, where Erin curled on the couch. Her eyes were cloudy and shadowed, a far cry from the sexy, teasing minx from last night, and he realized how badly he wanted that Erin back, not this worried, fearful one.
“I suppose I should be grateful they didn’t throw it through the window I just had replaced,” she said.
All three men’s heads came up at that. “What window?” Cole asked.
“A baseball destroyed my front window a few months ago. I had to replace the broken glass.”
“Any reason you didn’t mention it?” Sam asked.
Mike cocked an eyebrow, pinning his sister with an annoyed glance.
“Get that look off your faces. It was a baseball! I’m sure some neighbor kid had an accident and was too scared to admit it. It happened way before the shooting and I forgot all about it until now.”
Cole frowned, not happy about any of this. Something niggled at the back of his mind, something that made him uneasy, but he couldn’t pinpoint what. Or why.
“Let’s get back to this morning’s . . . gift,” Mike said.
The doorbell rang, interrupting them. “That’ll be forensics.” Sam rose to answer.
Erin, Mike, and Cole sat in silence, waiting for details, while Sam observed the evidence collection outside.
Sensing Erin’s stress, Cole placed a hand on her stocking-covered ankle. She’d been dressed for work when she came downstairs and opened the door.
Mike’s gaze immediately shot to the intimate contact and he scowled.
Cole ignored him. Mike’s sister needed comfort, and Cole was the closest one who could give it to her. He didn’t give a damn if Mike liked it or not.
“Erin, did you call in sick to work?” he asked her.
“Oh God. I can’t afford to miss more time.”
“More?” Cole turned to face her.
“She had morning sickness but thought it was a stomach bug. But it figures you wouldn’t know anything about that, considering you were nowhere to be found.” Mike eyed him with a healthy amount of disgust.
“Can you just lay off?” Erin said to her brother. “I can’t deal with this right now. Give me a phone. By the time we’re finished here, I won’t have time to go in to work before my appointment.”
“What appointment?” Cole asked. They hadn’t yet discussed her schedule for the day.
“I have a doctor’s appointment at noon.”
“Is something wrong?” he asked, concerned.
She shook her head. “Regular monthly appointment. Every pregnant woman has them.”
He nodded. They could discuss this further later. He handed her the portable receiver lying on the table.
While she dialed and called in sick, Mike’s furious gaze didn’t leave Cole’s. Ah, well. He knew better than to think the Marsden brothers would give him any kind of pass on the situation with Erin. He didn’t have a sister, but he imagined he’d react the same way, so he let it go.
He wasn’t too thrilled with himself at the moment. He hadn’t known Erin missed any work because of the pregnancy, hadn’t thought about what she’d gone through the first three months alone. He closed his eyes and fought for calm.
“Let’s discuss what we know,” Mike said, drawing his attention back to what was important. “First a shooting, then a warning.”
“That’s de-escalation,” Cole said. “Normally the warning would come first.”
Mike nodded. “Unless . . . maybe the softball through the window was a warning.”
“Possibly, but that doesn’t explain going from shooting to another warning.”
Erin’s gaze traveled between them. She was listening. Processing but not participating—and that concerned Cole. In the short time he’d known her, he wasn’t used to her being a bystander in her own life.
“Shell casings left at the site, leaving roadkill in a condo neighborhood. Both of these things seem like they were done by amateurs,” Mike continued.
“Cole, you referred to the person who left the—present—as female before. Why?” Erin asked.
And there she was, Cole thought with relief. Erin was speaking up, which meant she was okay.
“Because a man would have no compunction killing a cat or a dog to make his point. A female would have more trouble with it. A woman is more likely to use an already dead animal. It’s easier to justify to themselves.”
Erin pulled in a deep breath. “But what woman would scoop up roadkill herself?”
Cole could tell she was trying to control her breathing and gag reflex response to the dead animal she’d seen.
“She probably has an accomplice,” Mike said. “A male who would do that kind of dirty work.”
Erin nodded. “That makes sense, but who? Who would shoot me? Who would target me like this?” she asked, her voice rising.
Cole squeezed her ankle in reassurance that he was there. Not going anywhere while she was in any danger.
“Hey, you might want to see this,” Sam said, returning with a sealed plastic bag, a note inside.
Erin scrambled to a sitting position. “What is it?”
“A note. Handwritten.”
“What’s it say?” Mike asked.
“‘Leave him alone,’” Sam said.
Erin wrinkled her nose. “Him who?”
“That’s the thousand-dollar question.” Sam sounded as frustrated as the rest of them.
“Someone’s telling me to leave
him
alone. That’s further confirmation we’re dealing with a woman, right?” Erin glanced at Cole, her confusion clear in her tight expression and troubled eyes.
He nodded. “On the roadkill, yes. On the shooting? I’m not so sure.” Something felt so off about this whole thing. It could be because the person was unstable—
“Are you suggesting it’s two people after me?” Erin asked, sounding more panicked by the second.
Cole kept a firm hand on her leg. “It’s possible, that’s all. Mike?” He looked to her brother for confirmation. They’d gone through similar training and they’d both been undercover. Both been given the same behavioral courses.
“Rifle shooting doesn’t sound like a woman,” Mike agreed. “This does. But like I said, could just be an accomplice or someone doing something on their own, not listening to the woman.”
“My head hurts,” Erin muttered.
“Look, let’s get this processed, see if we can pull any prints. You two didn’t touch anything?” Sam asked.
Cole shook his head.
“Are you insane?” Erin asked, obviously doing her best not to gag again. “I want answers,” she said. “I hope the lab can work faster than they’ve been doing on the gun.”
“They will.” Cole agreed and he’d already taken steps to ensure it. “I have a call in to my people along with a promise to get things moving. We should know something soon.” He’d given everyone involved time to work without stepping on toes, but he’d gotten tired of waiting and he was finished tiptoeing around her brothers’ egos. While Mike had contacts high up in Manhattan, Cole had people who owed him more recent favors, both federal and state. Erin was worth pulling them in for.
Mike looked ready to argue but obviously thought better. “Thank you,” he said begrudgingly.
“No problem.”
Mike rose from his seat and walked over to Erin. “You okay, sis?”
She nodded. “I thought morning sickness was over, but that just . . .” She closed her eyes against the memory.
“Yeah. But I didn’t mean just that.”
“He meant with me being here,” Cole clarified for her.
Erin let out a long sigh. “I’m fine. If I wasn’t, Cole wouldn’t be here. End of discussion.” She folded her arms across her chest, a sign she was digging in her heels.