Perfect Stranger (29 page)

Cade took Monday afternoon off, to finish the security updates to the house. He and Dad installed a high-tech new alarm system. Unlike many infrared-based systems that were only triggered once an intruder gained entry, this one was based on perimeter monitoring.

Each window had a sensor that would set off the alarm if pried open or if the glass was smashed. Both front and back door had the same, and there were panic buttons in the kitchen and bedroom. All I had to remember was to set the alarm every night. It couldn’t be more secure.

I didn’t have much to move in. Kate left almost everything behind, and I still hadn’t picked up my stuff from Rob’s house, as I now thought of it. Cade was moving his gear across today. There was no reason to wait, since we’d made the decision.

It would be good.

When Marella asked if I had time for a coffee and a chat, I didn’t think twice about it. Since she broke up with Adam, we’d become our own little support group, united in our newly-single status.

She nudged at the foam on her cappuccino, and then gazed out the window. She looked troubled.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I feel awkward, saying this.” Marella dropped a couple of artificial sweeteners into the coffee and stirred.

I felt instantly anxious, a condition all too familiar.

She looked up and met my gaze. “I saw Rob at lunchtime. Your Rob.”

My throat tightened. “Here?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I called into the salad bar inside Sainsbury, and he was buying his lunch at the same time. He recognized me and said
hello
.”

I focused on the details. Apart from Rob buying salad for lunch, it was believable. The giant supermarket was less than a mile from here, and I’d shopped with him there many times. Enough reason for me not to visit it anytime soon.

“Thanks. I’ll stay away.” I’d warn Cade, too. We had plenty of supermarkets closer to Didsbury, and I’d pick somewhere else to buy lunch from. It was a good thing Marella saw him there.

“He looks a mess, Jenny. Really rough.”

I felt a ripple of satisfaction. I hated what he’d reduced me to and how I had to constantly look over my shoulder. If it made him sleep badly, I was glad. If that made me a nasty person, so be it.

“Thanks. I’m sorry you had to see him, but I don’t want to talk about Rob.”

She nodded, and the conversation was over.

I heard soft, familiar music playing from the kitchen when I came downstairs. Oasis. Kate stood by the window, fussing over Billy, and I watched the scene transfixed. It was peaceful. The night beyond the window was pitch black, and that was a novelty for someone used to living in a major city.

“Would you like some wine? Dinner will be half an hour, more or less.” She plucked a couple of glasses from the counter. “I lit the fire in the library, where you sat before. It should be nice and cozy now.”

I followed her, and when she sat on the sofa, I claimed the space next to her. The open bottle of wine was on the coffee table, and I poured us a glass each. “The library? You plan to fill this with books?”

“Yup. I’ve got boxes of them upstairs.” She huffed a laugh. “When I moved from Manchester, I left behind my saucepans and cooking utensils, but I brought all my books. What can you tell about my priorities?”

“I didn’t realize you were such a reader.”

She sat up straight and turned to face me. “There’s probably a lot we don’t know about each other. I’m glad you came today. We need to talk.”

My first reaction was to back off, but common sense nudged me. She hadn’t told me to go to hell; she’d invited me to stay the night. I came here with the intention of having a serious conversation, and I wasn’t backing down now.

“You’re right.” I spoke softly and made sure my body language stayed relaxed and open.

Kate took a sip of her wine and nodded. “Good choice, by the way.” She took another drink, and then put her glass down. The anticipation was killing me. “In the ideal world, what would happen next? Between us? I guess I don’t know why you’re really here.”

I kept my gaze fixed on hers. Pain blossomed in her eyes. It would be easy to say I wanted us to be friends. To move on. But that wasn’t what I hoped for. “I’m here because I can’t stop thinking about you. Because, in the ideal world, you’d hear me out when I say I’m prepared to do anything, to make things between us work. Because I regret everything I did wrong and every second of pain I caused you.”

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head and carried on. “I know I don’t deserve another chance. You have a dozen reasons not to forgive me.” I had to pause, to swallow the lump in my throat. “I can’t forgive myself, and if I could carry the burden of your pain as well, I would do so.”

Her eyes were huge, a myriad of emotions flitting across her face. I burned to kiss her, but it was too soon. “Can I speak now?” she asked, her voice a whisper.

I nodded.

“We married because you felt responsible, and now you feel guilty. Right?”

I nodded again. I was going to turn into a bobblehead soon.

She covered her mouth with her hand and turned away. “I can’t. It’s not enough.” She dropped her head and wouldn’t look at me.

Not enough? What the fuck? Panic filled my chest and squeezed what was left of my heart. “What do you mean?”

She must have heard the bewilderment in my voice. She glanced at me, and tears sparkled in her eyes.

“Oh no. Please don’t cry, baby.” I’d fucked up again. My big speech about regretting the pain I caused had hurt her more. I had to get out.

I pushed to my feet, placed the glass carefully on the table, and tried to say something sensible. Something to redeem this completely un-fucking-redeemable day. I stared at the ceiling in desperation. “I love you, and I know it’s not enough. I’m sorry. I could tell you that every day, and it still wouldn’t be enough.” I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to hide the emotions that ran rampant inside me. Failed. “I’m sorry,” I said again.

“Yes,” Kate said. She looked shocked, as if I’d slapped her across the face. “Yes, it is.”

“What is?”

“It’s enough.”

This conversation made no sense. Hell, was I speaking English, or some weird made-up language that existed only inside my head? “I came here, hoping to persuade you to give me a second chance. I fucked up. Didn’t I?

“No, you didn’t.” Kate stood and reached for my hand. Linked our fingers together. “I think we need to start again. Start this conversation again.
Please?
”

I gazed at her in disbelief. “Go on.”

“The thing I felt was missing was love. It was all about obligation with you. Doing the right thing. At no time did you say you loved me, and I get that. I really do. We hardly knew each other, and suddenly we were married and… all that followed.” Her mouth twisted. “And now you’re back, and it’s the same. You feel guilty and want to make amends, but I need to know you love me, Jordan. That we’re together because we’re in love. It matters.”

Her words rang in my head on auto-repeat.
Because we’re in love
. “I love you, Kate. I thought you knew.”

“Not really.” She pressed our linked hands against her chest. “In here, maybe, but I need to hear it.”

“
I love you.
I’ll do whatever it takes to show you. Just tell me.”

I’d gone from excitement to hope, to despair, and back to hope again in the space of a few hours. Jordan looked wrecked. If I’d ripped out his heart and stomped on it, I don’t think he’d have looked worse.

“I want to find a way for us to be together,” I said, trying to sound confident and most likely failing. “I don’t plan to go back to work yet, but having moved here, I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Maybe we could do a part-time thing, where we come here on weekends.” I sighed. “God. Even as I suggest it, I know it’ll be impossible.”

“I have a better solution.” Jordan caught my other hand and held both tight. “I give up my job and work freelance. I can work from anywhere. Here or Manchester, or wherever you like.”

“Freelance,” I echoed. “You run the European arm of a giant company, Jordan. How could that work?”

“Like I said, I give it up. You should know I’ve talked to Marcus and asked him to take over. He’s more than qualified. I’m an engineer at heart. I started out on the design team, working on components, and I can go back to that. I
want
to.” A smile grew on his face, a confident gleam in his eyes.

I let myself hope some more. “Are you sure?”

“More than anything. I need to officially step down from my position, and I requested an appointment with Thaddeus at the end of the week. I’d like you to come with me, to Houston. To meet my family.”

My pulse quickened as his words sank in. “You planned this? On the chance I’d say
yes
?”

“
Yes
. Because you’re the single most important thing in my life. I forced so much on you. It’s my turn to make the changes. To show you I’m serious. And Kate, I have to tell you. I didn’t know TM-Tech had taken over ComCo, truly I didn’t. I never had anything to do with it. Hell, I didn’t even know about it until Sophie told me.”

“I know.” I spoke softly. “And that’s in the past, where it belongs. I want to move forward now, with you. Would you move in here?”

“Are you inviting me?”

It was a dream come true. There was still a lot to work through, but this was a huge step in the right direction. I allowed myself a few moments to imagine our future together. “Yes, I am. Please move in with me, Jordan. Be my husband again.”

I wasn’t sure who moved first, but a heartbeat later, I threw my arms around his neck while he pulled me tight against his body. His kiss was gentle, but I didn’t want to wait. “Sofa. Now.”

His smile was a thing of beauty. “Yes, ma’am.”

We fell on the sofa together, wrapped around each other. This was going to be a wild ride, and I couldn’t wait.

Jordan made a muffled noise deep in his throat and kissed me hungrily, flicking his tongue against my mouth. Memories of our lovemaking flooded me, and I matched his hunger. I wanted to melt into him. I imagined my body dissolving in a puddle of desire, my flesh sizzling beneath him.

He held me for a long time, showering me in kisses, pressing his mouth to my throat and down the front of my dress. I dropped my head back, as he blazed a fiery trail with his lips across my collarbone and to the base of my throat. I ran my fingers through his soft hair, and then snaked down to tug at his shirt, desperate to feel bare skin.

He brushed his hands against my breasts, and I gasped. Every nerve ending tingled. My nipples pushed against the silky dress I wore, begging for his touch. Rational thought disappeared. I pulled the dress over my head, revealing my prettiest lace bra and pants.

Jordan sat back and stared at me.

“I’m fat.” I felt desolate and reached for the dress, to cover myself, but he tossed it to the floor and stroked me, as if I were a cat.

“You’re beautiful.” Jordan couldn’t take his eyes off me. “You’re luscious. Like a fruit ready for picking.” He’d never been so poetic before.

He cupped my breasts in his hands, pretending to weigh them. “These are bigger.” He circled my navel with his hand and dropped a kiss there. “This is softer.” He pressed his face to my cleavage and murmured in a husky voice, “You’re perfect.” He looked up and stroked my hair. “Promise me not to have this cut off again. You look delicious with it tumbling over your face. And please don’t lose any weight.” His tone was serious. I was touched, a little overwhelmed, and breathless with desire.

He unfastened the last couple buttons on his shirt. I helped slide it off his shoulders and down his arms, and I felt his warm skin at last. He got busy with my bra, and moments later freed my breasts and pressed his face to my chest.

“So pretty,” he whispered. He teased my nipples with his tongue, flicking the sensitive buds, then nipping gently.

The combined pain and pleasure made me groan. I’d missed him so much. Missed this. I was impatient for more. I pulled him up gently by the hair, and kissed him hungrily. “Jordan, I want you.
Now
.”

He smiled. “You’ve got me,” he whispered, before burning another trail down my body with his tongue. He cupped one hand over my lacy pants and must have felt how damp they were—how much I wanted him.

I wriggled to slip out of them.

“Kate,” he murmured as he moved back and nudged my legs apart, working another trail of kisses up the inside of my thigh. “My Kate.”

Time slowed. I shuddered as he traced his fingers over my wetness and slipped them inside me easily, pushing and teasing, and pulling a low moan from me. He followed with his tongue, and rational thought ceased to exist. I rocked around his fingers, as I felt my climax building. “Jordan,” I said with a gasp, “I’m coming.”

His tongue darted faster over my swollen clit, and I couldn’t hold back. Wave after wave crashed over me, and I writhed beneath him, washed away by the intensity. He rode out the storm and moved back up to take my mouth, as he unfastened his jeans. My world reasserted itself, and I hurried to pull down his boxers, eager to see and feel him again.

I’d been incomplete without him long enough. I needed him to make me feel whole.

He fitted a condom, and positioned himself, before nudging easily inside me. He groaned, eyes half closed, as I wrapped myself around him, legs tight around his back. “God, Kate. This feels so… I’ve wanted you for so long. Was afraid to believe this could happen.”

I closed my mouth over his, indulging in his kiss, grazing my teeth against his lower lip.

He pressed deeper, slow movements that filled me. Possessed me.

I lay beneath him, his hands cupping my face, our bodies pressed together as he drove deeper. Harder.

“I can’t hold back.” His voice was hoarse. His thrusts became urgent. He pounded into me, sweeping me headlong into another dizzying spiral of pleasure.

I dug my fingernails in his back and whimpered, as my insides exploded moments before he cried out. I pulled him to me, feeling him tremble with the strength of his release.

He lay on top of me. I felt his heart racing against my skin, then he eased out of me and pulled me into his arms, holding me closer than I thought possible.

We lay entwined, unwilling to separate our bodies. I sighed, replete. Whatever our differences, I needed Jordan. Without him, a part of me was missing.