Authors: Sofia Grey
I awoke to something heavy pressing on my arm. Cracking my eyes open, I saw it was Kate, lying face down into the pillow, my forearm under her stomach. Daylight sneaked through a chink in the curtains, and I lifted my wrist to see the time.
Shit
. It was almost seven, and I had a breakfast meeting in half an hour. Being the boss sucked sometimes.
With care, I eased free, but she didn’t stir. I gazed at her, admiring the graceful neck and smooth skin across her back. She was covered from the butt down by the sheet, and that was a shame. It was also a shame that I didn’t have time to wake her slowly and play some more. I smoothed one hand down her hair, and she obligingly turned her head to face me, her eyes still shut.
Even with mussed hair and crinkles in her skin from the pillow, she was breathtaking. Whatever the hell I did to be so lucky to catch her, I was glad. As for last night? She was beyond hot.
What were the chances I could rearrange my meeting and stay here another hour? Zero. I’d scheduled this breakfast to get mid-conference feedback from my team, and it would be irresponsible of me to cancel this late. Duty battled with want, and as usual, won.
Would my father ever appreciate the sacrifices I made for him?
I pressed a tender kiss on Kate’s bare shoulder and headed to the shower, to take care of my aching hard-on there.
An irrational fear that she might leave when I was in the shower nagged at me, but she was still there, waking up. She squinted at me, unfocused, when I emerged from the bathroom, a towel around my middle. A second later, she snapped her eyes closed again and tugged the sheet over her head. Cute. She’d seen me in all my glory last night, yet was embarrassed about watching me dress? I shrugged into a fresh shirt, found clean boxers and socks, and selected another pair of suit pants.
While Kate continued to sleep, I called room service, checked my phone and email, and knotted a tie around my neck and put on my shoes. A glance at my watch confirmed the ugly truth. I couldn’t stay any longer.
I figured that level of drinking wasn’t usual for her, and she’d most likely have a headache this morning. I dug out some painkillers and a chilled bottle of water, and placed them on the bedside cabinet. Inching the sheet lower, to see her face, I couldn’t hold back my smile. She was irresistible.
“Morning, gorgeous.” I dropped a fleeting kiss on her lips, and she opened her eyes. God. What I wouldn’t give, to climb back into bed with her. “I’m really sorry, but I have an early meeting, and then I’m straight back into the conference.” When she tugged her eyebrows together in a hint of a frown, I added, “I’ve ordered room service for you, and it’ll be here soon.”
“Mmm, ‘kay.” She stared at her hands, where they lay tangled on the bedclothes. She wouldn’t meet my gaze.
Did she think I was ditching her? The idea made my heart pound. “Hey.”
She glanced up at me and then skittered her gaze away again.
“Last night was amazing.
You
were amazing.” I captured her cheeks with my hands and claimed her mouth in a deep kiss. Hot damn. I wanted her all over again. Pulling back a fraction, I found my voice. “I’ll be free by seven. Meet me for dinner?”
There was a long pause. My gut churned with an unfamiliar sensation. “Uh, huh,” she muttered, and then burrowed back under the covers. Okay. So she felt awkward about morning-after protocols. I was never sure about them either, but one thing was crystal clear—I couldn’t wait to repeat the experience with her.
Rob was in a surly mood since breakfast. He grumbled about his tea being too weak and the toast burned on one side, and then me keeping him waiting when he was ready to leave.
I was running late because I had to dig another loaf out of the freezer, in order to make him a second lot of toast, but pointing that out wouldn’t help. As always, he gave me a lift to the office. Strictly speaking, it wasn’t on his route to work, but he never minded detouring, to drop me off. Without his stringent timekeeping, I’d be hopeless. Or so he said.
He pulled into the loading bay at the back of the building and turned the radio down a notch. “You home for dinner tonight?” His eyes were flinty, his temper still uneven.
I tried for a light tone. “Of course. Where else would I be?”
“I don’t know. You don’t spend much time with me these days.”
“That’s not true.” My heart lurched. One short evening in a wine bar with my friends, and he was getting all tangled up. I hated seeing him upset.
He paused. “Are you calling me a liar?”
“No.” I forced a smile. “I only went out for a few hours. It’s not as though I’m out every night.”
“You disappeared to the Trafford Centre at the weekend.”
What was I missing? “That was shopping. I was getting a birthday present for your mum.”
“You bought her an ornament. It still took you all fucking day.”
I was stung. I’d no idea what to buy her, and a long list of no-go items to contend with. My cheeks heated. “It was
your
mum, Rob. You should have gone.”
His blue eyes were glacial. “I asked you to do one little thing for me. You know I was busy.” He huffed out a breath. “I haven’t got time for this. You don’t want me to be late as well, do you?”
I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. “I’m not late.”
“I will be.” He threw his hands in the air. “I have to go.”
“I’m going.” I grabbed my bag and scrambled out of the car, making sure I slammed the door. He was already peeling out of the parking bay and heading for the road.
“Jerk.” I snarled, feeling better for letting out my temper. Rob got these weird moods. He’d be like a bear with a sore head for days at a time, for no obvious reason. And then, like the sun coming out from behind a cloud, he’d be bright and cheerful again.
That was the Rob I fell in love with. The sociable, charming, drop-dead handsome guy, who somehow had taken a shine to me. I still wanted to pinch myself that he found me attractive, let alone wanted to marry me.
We’d been together for nine months, and married for six of them. My parents thought I was crazy, and Dad had refused to pay for the wedding, so we’d kept it low key. We were currently saving for a mortgage deposit, to get out of our rented flat, and that was probably why Rob was getting antsy. I was better at spending money than saving it, and we frequently squabbled about my shopping choices.
He was under a lot of pressure at work right now. I silently vowed to cut him some slack.
I walked through the lower level of the building and headed for the elevators. My office was on the tenth floor, and even though Rob kept urging me to exercise more, there was no way in hell I was climbing ten flights of stairs. Not when there were perfectly good elevators.
Had I told him about Kate’s night out this weekend? Possibly not. Rob wasn’t invited. It was a girls’ night. I had to tell him, and it would be best done sooner rather than later. If he was in a filthy mood tonight though, should I wait until tomorrow? Or maybe do something to cheer him up, and
then
tell him?
Lost in thought, I paid little attention to the other people getting into the elevator with me. I smiled to a girl I knew, and then saw a guy in black leathers and motorbike helmet. He was still a few yards away, hurrying to reach us before the door closed, so I leaned on the button, to hold us still for a few moments.
He stepped in next to me and wriggled out of his helmet. It was Cade.
There was nowhere for me to hide. Panic churned in my stomach.
His dark blue eyes bored into me, and then he turned away and stared at the closed doors.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Christ, this was awkward. Was I going to spend the rest of my life avoiding certain people? Adam, my ex-boss. And Cade, my… I struggled to fit him into any category. Ex-colleague? Ex-champion? He’d stood up for me and been punished for it. Shame filled me, every time I thought about him. My palms were damp, and I shoved them into my pockets and waited for the elevator to stop.
I tried to think logically. Just because he’d gotten in the elevator, it didn’t mean anything. There were three or four other companies in this tower block, and he might only be visiting.
He was talking to Hot Jase last night. They might be friends.
I’d wait, and he’d get out on a different floor, and that would be it.
I didn’t know Cade had a motorbike. It was wrong of me to stare at his ass in the leather trousers, but it was worth looking at. He was every bit as handsome as Rob—and why was I thinking about this? I fumbled for my cellphone and re-read the last few text messages, breathing a sigh of relief when Cade left on the fourth floor.
Full blown panic was a step away.
I was in the bed of a man I met the day before. And with a headache the size of Everest. I gulped down the pills with some water, and then scrambled out of bed, to search for my discarded clothes. Yesterday’s panties. Yuck.
My handbag eluded me for a while, but I found it under the sofa, with its contents spilled out. Did I have everything?
I’d never done the walk of shame before, but the dash through the corridors sobered me up. I sank onto my own bed and dropped my head into my hands. I was supposed to stay another night, but how could I?
It wasn’t like me to behave so wildly. I’d
thrown
myself at him. The bouquet of flowers sat on the table and mocked me, a reminder of everything wonderful that had happened last night. I was so confused.
I didn’t feel capable of dealing with my email until I’d showered and dressed. However, when I saw my morning meetings were postponed, I got the excuse I needed to go home early. Rather than waiting for a replacement hire car, I decided to take the train.
Checking out was a quick process, and I was soon in the taxi, and on the way to the station. It was only when I leaned back into my seat, as the train pulled out, that I allowed myself to think about what had happened.
Running away? A tiny little shard of conscience at the back of my mind nagged me. Of course I wasn’t. I had work to do, a job, and an empty home waiting for me.
Jordan asked me to dinner tonight. While I didn’t say
yes
, I didn’t say
no
, either.
He said he didn’t
do
one night stands.
He was nice to me. Made me feel good.
He made love to me. Such wonderful love…
He had no way to contact me again.
Guilt flooded me. What a complete fuck up. I prided myself on being in control, and prized this quality highly. How had it deserted me the night before? I wasn’t the type of girl to pick up a stranger and go to bed with him, no matter how desirable he was. Anxious and feeling uptight, I massaged my temples and forced myself to analyze my actions.
Jordan was right. I was lonely and missing my boyfriend, and looking for comfort elsewhere. I didn’t normally drink in such quantity, so that largely accounted for my recklessness. On the plus side, I was highly unlikely to see him again. This indiscretion could be forgotten.
How could I forget the way my body leapt in response to him? I’d enjoyed every minute of the encounter. My face burned when I recalled moaning his name. I’d virtually begged him. Closing my eyes, I remembered how we’d made love. How he’d given me a taste of what sex could be like. I’d never experienced such intense pleasure before. Would anyone ever match up to Jordan?
Tony never came close. Even if he’d changed his mind and decided to stay, I wouldn’t look twice at him now. Jordan made me feel complete, and not just in bed. I ticked off his good points on my fingers. One—he bought me flowers. Two—he talked to me like a human being, not the boss or the taken-for-granted girlfriend. Three—he didn’t take advantage of me when he had the opportunity. Instead, he encouraged me to talk and wasn’t embarrassed to see my tears.
Did I make a mistake leaving him?
No. I couldn’t start thinking like that. My conscience prodded me some more. Should I have told him I was checking out? Maybe, but it was too late now.
I sighed as I switched on my laptop and pulled up a sales report that needed my review. Jordan was going to be a hard act to follow.
* * * *
I climbed out of a taxi and stared at the gray car parked in the street outside my house. Tony’s car. With my headache still thumping like a bass drum in a marching band, and a distinct sense of trepidation, I walked up the path and opened the front door. Boxes lined the hallway, a couple of them unsealed. One held DVDs and books, the other a tangled pile of cables and hard drives.
“Hey.” Tony came down the stairs, a shiny black suitcase in each hand. I didn’t recognize them. “You’re early. I was hoping to be gone before you got back.” He frowned as he approached, and then dumped the cases on the floor. “You okay? You look about to pass out.”
It was funny. I’d expected his departure to be ugly, for us to be horribly awkward with each other, but so far it wasn’t. Apart from the yelling match we held before I left for Exeter, it was terribly civilized.
He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, his blue eyes dancing with good humor. “I’ll brew some tea.”
I watched as he sauntered into the kitchen. If it weren’t for the legion of boxes surrounding me, this could be any normal day.
I followed him and sank into one of the chairs at the table. “New cases?”
“Eh?” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Uh, no. I borrowed them.” He leaned back against the counter and gazed at me. “It’d be good to talk. Sort out a few things. I want us to stay friends. If we can.”
I nodded, and regretted it when my head throbbed harder. “Sure. I guess I always knew this would happen—that we’d split—but why now? Is there someone else?”
“Wow. Straight for the jugular.” His gaze focused somewhere in the distance. “The short answer is
yes
, but it wasn’t right between you and me anyway. Was it?”
I processed his
yes
and wondered if I knew her. Oddly, I wasn’t upset. Not like I’d expect to be. Was I still hungover?
He waited a moment, and then carried on. “I loved you, Kate. I’d have done almost anything for you, and I tried—really tried—to make this work. But it was too one sided.”
I met his gaze and saw the sadness in his eyes. “What do you mean?” It came out as a whisper.
“You never felt the same way about me. Like you were always holding back. Like…” He tapped his thumb on the side of his mug. “Like you were just going through the motions. I could have been anyone. And yeah, I want more than that.”
Going through the motions?
I’d given him two years of my life. “And your new girlfriend? She’s different?”
His eyes crinkled at the corners, as a smile lit up his face. “Yeah. I’ve got a good feeling about her.”
That told me all I needed to know.
I’d been replaced. Again.
What was it about me, that guys never found me good enough?