Authors: Jill Mansell
But as the evening wore on, Claudia began to regret calling Jake a trainspotter. Granted, at first glance he looked terribleâand he especially didn't fit in with her mental image of how someone called Jake
should
lookâbut in a weird way, he was beginning to grow on her. Claudia was used to noisy, flashy wine-bar types who drove fast cars and always did their chatting up with one eye on the door in case someone better walked in. Their interests in life were making money, getting drunk, and getting laid, and they liked to do all these things as quickly as possible becauseâas they were so fond of sayingâtime was money.
Jake was unlike anyone Claudia had ever met before and she was confused. So confused that she couldn't even make out whether or not he was chatting her up.
Having excused herself earlier to visit the loo, Claudia now made her way back to the section of the gallery where the others were. There hadn't been any recognizable chat-up lines, that was for sure, but once or twice the look in Jake's eyes and the tone of his voice had made her think yes, he
was
flirting with her. It was subtle stuff, all very low-key, but she was almost certain it was there. And the more she thought it might be, the more attractive Jake becameâin a subtle, bubbling-beneath-the-surface kind of way.
Something else that drew Claudia to him was the easy way he dealt with Poppy. When Poppy did something annoying at home, Claudia went ballistic. Jake's laid-back attitude was a revelation. It was also a bond, something they shared in common.
âIt must be dreadful,' Jake had said earlier in his gentle, not-quite-serious fashion. âShe's bad enough to work with. Actually living in the same house must be hell.'
Now, returning from the loo, she saw that one of Caspar's friends had joined their party.
ââ¦and don't expect any sympathy from Claudia,' Jake was saying, âshe's on my side.'
This time the look he gave her was almost proprietorial. Claudia experienced a warm glow in her stomach. She liked being on the same side as Jake.
âThis is terrible,' complained Poppy, âI'm being ganged up on. Thanks, Jake, I wish I'd never invited you now.'
Claudia was glad she had. In her excitement, she downed her drink in one go. Goodness, it was warm in here. If she pretended to sway a bit in the heat she could brush her bare arm against Jake's woolly-sweatered one. Juvenile but exciting. Thank heavens he'd taken off his windbreaker.
âMore drinks?' Jake said hurriedly. âSame again all round? And, er, maybe we should take a look at the pictures. It's why we're here, after all.'
Kate was hailed by someone she knew. Poppy and Claudia trooped obediently across to the nearest wall to inspect a garish yellow and pink abstract by one of the other showcased artists. It was eight feet square and eye-bogglingly intricate. The title was âKnitting; the dropped stitch.'
âGood job my granny's dead,' said Poppy, âshe'd have had something to say about that.' She peered over the shoulder of the Japanese man in front of her, studying the price list on his brochure. âFourteen thousand pounds, good grief.'
âDon't,' Claudia hissed. âIt's embarrassing.'
âDamn right it's embarrassing. Fourteen grand for that! I'd far rather have a Caspar French,' Poppy went on, âin fact I'm going to ask Harry to buy me two. I overheard one of the New York dealers just now saying they're the hottest investment since De Kooning.'
The Japanese buyer's ears twitched. Seconds later he moved off.
âYou don't for one moment think he believed you,' sneered Claudia. âHonestly, that is
so
juvenile.'
Poppy was stung. She'd thought it was a brilliant ploy.
âIt might work. If I heard someone saying something like that, I'd believe them.'
âYes, well. You're gullible. Most people have more sense.'
âThanks.'
Poppy gritted her teeth. If Claudia was going to start harping on about being gullible, she might be forced to remind her who had just forked out three hundred and something pounds for a copy of a chain-store dress.
But this time, for once, Claudia backed down.
âOkay, I'm sorry.' She shook her head to show Poppy she meant it. This was Caspar's exhibition and it mustn't be spoiled. Besides, she was bursting to bombard Poppy with a million questions about Jake.
The apology had made Poppy instantly suspicious. She moved along and began studying another of the bizarre abstracts. This one, turquoise and grey, bore the title âA Kiss in a Tree'.
âAnyway, you were right,' Claudia ventured, eager to clear the air. âCaspar's stuff is tons better than this rubbish.'
A very tall, bearded man with hooded grey eyes gave her an angry stare.
âThat's the artist,' murmured Poppy.
âShit.'
âOnly joking.'
Poppy grinned. Claudia suppressed the urge to throttle her. Instead, in casual tones she said, âJake's quite nice, isn't he?'
âWho, you mean Jake my boss?
Trainspotter
Jake?'
Claudia looked flustered. âIt was only the windbreaker. Well, and the trousers. What I mean is, he's better than you expect⦠once you actually get to know him.'
Poppy looked amused.
âI'm sure he'll be flattered to hear it.'
âI can't remember,' Claudia blurted out in desperation, âif you said he was married or living with someone.'
âNow this,' said Poppy, âis what I call interesting. Don't tell me you're keen on Jake.'
Why did she have to look so⦠so
gleeful
? Affronted, Claudia lifted her chin.
âI'm only asking. Why shouldn't I? He's obviously keen on me.'
Poppy grinned. âNo he isn't.'
âYes he is.'
âClaudia, I promise you. He isn't.'
âYou don't know that.' God, Poppy could be a cow sometimes. âWhat are you, some kind of world authority on The Kind of Girls Men Go For?'
âCalm down, calm down.' Poppy made soothing gestures with her hands. âYou've got hold of the wrong end of the stick.'
If I could get hold of the right end, Claudia thought vengefully, I'd hit you with it.
âLook,' Poppy continued, âwhat I meant was, Jake doesn't go for
any
kind of girl. He's gay.'
Claudia was stunned. âGay? Are you sure?'
âSure I'm sure. He keeps pretty quiet about it, but he definitely is,' Poppy explained in businesslike fashion. âThat's why there's no point trying to chat him up. So you see, I wasn't being bitchy when I said he wouldn't be interested in you, I was just being honest.' Unaware that Jake was back from the bar and standing right behind her, she went on: âI know it's sad but what can you do? Jake's as bent as a nine bob note. Actually I think he may be a transvestite tooâ'
âRIGHT,' Jake hissed into her ear, âthat is ENOUGH. What in heaven's name do you think you are PLAYING AT?'
Poppy jumped a mile. The voice was so filled with fury she barely recognized it. When she turned and saw the look in Jake's eyes she felt herself go white. She had never seen him so mad before. She wouldn't have believed him capable of such blood-curdling fury.
âOh Jake, I'm sorry⦠I know it isn't something you make a song and dance about'âhelp, more visions of Shirley Basseyââbut I just thought it would be easier to explain to Claudia why she shouldn't⦠um, why you⦠er, wouldn'tâ¦'
Jake looked ready to explode. Poppy gave up trying to explain. Cringing, she edged a few inches backwards. What a good job they were surrounded by people so Jake couldn't bellow at her.
âI-do-not-believe-this.' He wasn't bellowing. The words were spat out through gritted teeth, which was bad enough. âLet's get one thing settled right now. I am not gay. I never have been gay and I never will be gay.' His dark eyes, like twin coals, bored through his spectacles and directly into Poppy's brain. âAnd I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't wear women's clothes either.'
âOh,' said Poppy in a small voice. âJake, I'm sorry. My mistake.'
âYou see, this is
exactly
what she's like,' Claudia told Jake with an air of triumph. âShe says things without thinking, just comes out with these ridiculous statementsâ'
âI didn't say it without thinking'âPoppy was indignantââI just thought the wrong thing in the first place.'
Jake had begun to calm down. At least, steam was no longer billowing out of his ears. He frowned. âBut why, what made you think it? I never gave you any reason to believe I was gay.'
Poppy squirmed. Why
had
she thought it?
âI suppose because you don't have a girlfriend.' Oh dear, that sounded pitiful. âAnd you never say much about your social life. Umâ¦' Yes, that was it! ââ¦and then there was that phone call from Ellis!' She seized gratefully upon it, like a lifebelt. âYou were supposed to be meeting him tonight, remember? But he had to cancelâ'
âEllis Featherstone,' said Jake with a sigh, âlives three doors away from me. He's the local coordinator for Neighborhood Watch. Yes, Ellis is gay,' he concluded evenly, âbut I'm fairly sure it's not catching.'
âOkay, so I made a mistake.' Poppy still couldn't get over the change in Jake. Talk about the worm turning, she marveled. Jake had turned into a full-grown leopard.
Poppy wasn't the only one impressed by the transformation. Claudia couldn't stop gazing at Jake. The news that he wasn't gay after all had cheered her right up. Emboldened by all the adrenaline whooshing through her veins, she seized one of the drinks Jake had carried back from the bar and glugged down another glass of slightly warm champagne.
âWhat made you say it tonight, anyway?' Jake persisted. In his other hand was Poppy's drink. Before he could pass it to her, Claudia whisked it from his grasp.
Poppy opened her mouth to explain.
âWellâ'
âThe truth is, she couldn't believe you were chatting me up,' Claudia blithely cut in, her tongue by this time thoroughly loosened. âI told her you were, she said you weren't.' Breathing in, so her chest swelled out like a pouter pigeon, Claudia gave Jake the benefit of her perfect cleavage. âPoppy can't believe any man would want to chat me up.'
It was like a mating dance, thought Poppy, struggling to keep a straight face as Jake's eyes inadvertently dipped into the cleavage then slid nervously away. It was like one of those displays of plumage you saw birds doing on David Attenborough programs. Claudia was silently commanding Jake to respond and chat her up some more. Poor Jake, over his passionate outburst now, was looking downright scared.
Several minutes of awkward small talk later, Jake made his excuses and left.
âWell, thanks,' snapped Claudia when he had gone.
âOh come on,' Poppy sighed. She had had more than enough of Claudia for one night.
âHe would have asked me out, you know. You frightened him off.' Claudia glared at her. âAnd don't tell me you didn't do it on purpose.'
By midnight, the last guests were drifting away into the night. Only when Caspar had flagged down a cab and piled his own small party inside did he realize why Poppy and Claudia had spent the last couple of hours at different ends of the room.
âCome on, no need for this.' Buoyed up by the success of the exhibition, Caspar attempted a reconciliation.
âI'm all right,' sniffed Claudia. âIt's her. Jake would have asked me out if she hadn't stuck her oar in. If you ask me, she's jealous.'
âJealous?' shrieked Poppy. âYou were the one who called him a trainspotter! Then you started flaunting your chest at him. He only left early because he was too embarrassed to look at you.'
âGirls, girls,' said Caspar. By the sound of her, Claudia had been drinking for England. He watched her struggling to light the tipped end of her cigarette. Luckily the lighter was upside down too.
â
And
you're jealous because my dress cost more than yours did,' Claudia declared, giving up on the cigarette and chucking it out of the cab window.
âOh yes, of course I am.' Poppy lifted her eyebrows in a what-can-you-do-with-a-mad-woman? kind of way.
âDon't do that with your eyebrows,' howled Claudia.
âI'll do whatever I like with my eyebrows. I paid three hundred and seventy-five pounds for them at Hyper Hyper.'
Claudia wondered if she'd ever wanted to strangle anyone this much before in her life. There was that hateful, barely-visible grin again, the one Poppy used when she was making fun of her.
âYou're going to regret this.' Realizing she didn't have the strength for anything more physical, Claudia waggled an index finger at Poppy instead. âI was going to tell you something. Something important. You should, you know⦠you should be
nice
to meâ¦'
Poppy thought she'd been an awful lot nicer than Claudia deserved. Exerting superhuman control, she said, âGo on then, what is this oh-so-important thing I need to know?'
âI'm not sure I want to tell you.' The pointed finger jabbed like a conductor's baton. âI don't think you deserve to know. You shouldn'tâ'
âOh for God's sake,' yelped Poppy, throwing herself back in her seat, âwill someone please shut this girl up? What have I done to deserve
her
?'
âClaudia,' said Caspar not unkindly, âshut up.'
âButâ'
âNo, I mean it. You've drunk enough to float the QE2.'
âOh well,' Claudia looked affronted, âin that case I won't breathe another word.' She shook back her heavy blonde hair. âNot one single word about the pianist at the Cavendish jazz club⦠the pianist whose name happens to be Alex Fitzpatrickâ¦'