Perfected (Entangled Teen) (14 page)

Eighteen

T
he next evening both the congressman and his wife were actually home at the same time for dinner, something that didn’t seem to happen all that often. The congressman had been in Washington for the past few days and had already exhausted his family by talking incessantly for the past fifteen minutes about the Domestic Energy and Jobs Act.

They stared at him with glazed eyes while I nibbled my food. If it were me who was sitting up at the table with them, I would look the congressman in the eye, nodding when he paused, and asking questions here and there about spending and committees. I could see he was craving some sort of response from his family, but I didn’t dare speak up from my spot across the room.

“Penn, are you even listening to what I’m saying?” the congressman asked, setting his fork down with a loud bang.

“Dad, I’ve been listening to this same conversation for the last ten years. There’s only so many times a person can pretend to be interested in budget committees.”

The congressman’s wife set down her fork as well and dabbed her mouth with her napkin, casting a disparaging look at her son.

“Well you’d think after ten years you’d finally have something to say on the matter,” the congressman said.

“I’m sorry.” Penn sighed. “I guess I’m just distracted.”

“Distracted?”

He shrugged and rolled a cherry tomato across his plate. “The owner of Bayou Grill called me yesterday. He wants to hire me for a show next Saturday.”

“A show? We are talking about playing your guitar, aren’t we?”

Penn nodded.

“Well, I can’t imagine what would make them call you out of the blue and ask you that?”

“I applied for the show, okay? Is that what you want me to say?”

The congressman shook his head. “No, I want you to say you’ll stop wasting all your free time dreaming about being a rock star and start thinking practically. What about the internship I lined up for you? Have you even called the commissioner back yet?”

“No, I—” Penn began.

“Elise, why haven’t you reminded him to call?”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little pig headed? It’s not my—”

He didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence. “How is he going to get a degree in political science if he doesn’t do the internship? He can’t even carry on a conversation about a legislative session for heaven’s sake.”

Penn stabbed at a large piece of meat on his plate. “Well maybe I should consider getting a degree in something that actually interests me.”

Ruby’s hand was paused above her dish in midair, staring intently between her family members.

The congressman snorted. “Yes, a degree you’re interested in. That’s a smart move. I’m happy to see you’re really thinking about the future. Because heaven knows what the world is lacking now is more starving musicians playing music for change at the subway station.”

“Do we really have to do this again?” the congressman’s wife asked.

“Yes. Yes, we do. He’s got a year to turn things around. One year. I don’t think now’s the time to start pampering him and feeding him false hope about following his dreams.” He drew a hand over his face. “What’s so wrong with wanting your son to do something that really matters, to try to help people?”

“Well maybe I’ll just marry money the way you did, and then I won’t have to worry about it. God, you’re such a hypocrite,” Penn said. He stood up, his chair skidding away from the table as he threw down his napkin.

The congressman and his wife stared at each other for one long moment before they picked up their knives again.

I wanted to get up and follow after Penn, but I stayed seated. Even though I didn’t have an appetite, I continued taking small bites of my food. For a few minutes the sound of our forks scraping against our plates was the only sound in the room. Finally, the congressman’s wife looked up at Ruby as if she was noticing her daughter sitting there for the first time all night.

“Ruby, take smaller bites, honey. It’s not polite to chew like that.”

“If I eat all my salad can I have dessert?” Ruby asked, her mouth still full of food.

The congressman’s wife grimaced. “Ruby, what did I just say? It’s impolite to have that much food in your mouth, let alone to talk while it’s still full.”

Ruby swallowed. “Can I?”

If I’d been sitting next to her I would have kicked her under the table, but there was nothing I could do from where I sat. I’d never considered myself lucky for being trained by Miss Gellner before, but now I realized it was a gift. How could Ruby and Penn not know how to have a conversation with their own parents? I could see their mistakes so clearly; how they should have answered their parents politely instead of sticking so forcefully to their own opinions.

“No dessert,” the congressman’s wife said before turning to her husband. “A little help here?”

He shrugged, crunching loudly on his salad.

She threw up her hands. “Oh, so this only goes one way? You expect me to read your mind about internships, but when your daughter wants to spend all day eating brownies and cupcakes you suddenly don’t want anything to do with it.”

The congressman lifted his hands in surrender. “Calm down, Elise. I don’t see what the big deal is. She’s not hurting anyone.”

“She’s hurting herself. Do you know what size pants she’s wearing these days?”

Ruby’s face crumpled. “Never mind,” she said. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Oh, Ruby,” her mom said, patting her hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Maybe if you just got a little bit more exercise. Tomorrow morning you could take Ella for a walk. I bet she’d like that.”

Suddenly everyone’s heads turned in my direction. I smiled politely, unsure whether to agree or to act as if I hadn’t been listening to their conversation all evening.

Ruby’s face brightened a little bit as she met my eye. “Okay,” she said. “I didn’t know I was allowed to take Ella for walks. Does she have to wear a leash?”

The congressman and his wife laughed, their faces finally warming. “No, she doesn’t have to wear a leash.”

T
he next morning I stepped outside carrying a pair of soft leather sandals by their straps. Ruby had said to wait for her by the pool after breakfast so we could go for our walk. I’d dressed in one of the few short dresses that I could find in my closet. The soft coral sundress hung right below my knees and the simple bodice wasn’t embroidered with any beads or lace. It was just the right dress for a walk on a summer morning.

Near the pool house, Penn sat on one of the lounge chairs, gnawing on the end of a pencil while he stared down at the notebook in his lap. I sank down onto one of the lawn chairs next to him.

He glanced up, startled. “Oh, hey.” He smiled, setting down his pencil.

“How’s your writing going?

He sighed, tapping his pencil against the page. “My dad keeps bugging me about this internship essay, but it’s the last thing I want to do. Why waste time on this crap when I could be writing lyrics instead?”

He went back to his paper, but I could tell he was still looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Ruby is taking me for a walk this morning,” I told him, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. It wasn’t a proper way to sit, but being around Penn made me feel like I didn’t have to try so hard to be perfect all the time.

“A walk? It’s about time. You’ve got to be getting bored being stuck here all the time.” I couldn’t tell if there was a touch of anger or annoyance behind his voice, but a moment later it was gone. “But then again, how could you get tired of looking at this.” He gestured toward the yard. “Or this.” He pointed at himself, grinning.

A hot blush sprang to my cheeks and I made myself busy strapping on my sandals. When I raised my gaze he was still staring at me, a bit of hair had fallen down over one of his eyes, but he didn’t move to brush it away.

“Ella?” he said, his voice soft.

I froze with my hand on the strap of my shoe. “Yes?” I swallowed, fumbling with my shoe again. My trembling fingers wouldn’t cooperate and the clasp suddenly seemed so small.

“I thought maybe you’d come out again last night.”

“Oh, I was kind of tired,” I lied.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked. “Because I didn’t mean to. If it’s about the—”

“No,” I interrupted. “I mean yes…maybe.” I lowered my head into my hands.

“What’s the matter?” he asked

“This,” I whispered.

“What?”

“You and me. I’m not supposed to feel this way.”

Why hadn’t they taught me how to deal with something like
this
at the training center? Who cares about small talk or politics? What could I do to steer us in another direction, away from want, and need, and all this danger?

Penn knelt in front of me and grabbed my hand. He leaned so close that our heads were only a whisper apart.

“Why does this have to be wrong?” he asked.

Behind us, Ruby skipped out of the kitchen door, hollering my name. I pulled away from him.

“Are you ready?” Ruby asked, stopping next to me.

As we walked away, I turned Penn’s words over in my mind.
Why does this have to be wrong?
Why?

R
uby and I rounded the corner out of the driveway onto the stretch of Smith Ridge Road. She grabbed my hand, swinging it back and forth as we sauntered along the side of the street, being sure to stay on the right side of the solid white line.

Already things looked different, and we were only a couple hundred yards away from the house. I had assumed I would remember the world away from the congressman’s house, considering it hadn’t been very long since I’d driven down this very stretch of road. But it felt like I was seeing it for the first time.

We walked past Ms. Harper’s long driveway and I squeezed Ruby’s hand a little tighter. What if she was down there right now, watching for me? The congressman hadn’t mentioned her since the night that I told him she was the one who had taken me.

“It’s okay, the cars always slow down if they see a person on the side of the road,” Ruby said, probably assuming I was nervous about the walk.

I relaxed the grip on her fingers, daring to look back over my shoulder at the wooded stretch of land that bordered Ms. Harper’s lane, but there was no one there.

“So, where should we walk?” Ruby asked, looking around at the woods and bushes that lined either side of the road. “There’s not really anywhere to go. We could try to make it to the country club, but it’s pretty far.”

“It’s just nice walking,” I told her. “We don’t have to go anywhere.”

“Maybe if there was something fun to look at, but it’s all like this.” She turned in a complete circle. “Trees and grass. That’s it.”

We wandered on. It was true there were trees and grass, but there were also beautiful low stone walls that followed the rise and fall of the land, and every once in a while we’d catch a glimpse of the front of a house through the trees.

“So, do you have a crush on any boys?” Ruby asked a little shyly. “Like from the school you used to go to?”

“I don’t know what a crush is, but I didn’t really go to school,” I told her. “And at the training center there were only other girls.”

“Oh, an all-girls school,” Ruby said. “My dad wanted to send me to one of those. But I’m glad he didn’t. Not that any of the boys in my school like me.”

The tall trees on either side of the road cast the street in shade, but every once in a while we stepped out into the hot sun. The heat seemed to surprise us both and we’d stop simultaneously and look up at the sky.

Up ahead a long white fence ran along the edge of the road and Ruby picked up the pace, dragging me toward it.

“Let’s go see the Davenports’ horses,” she said, climbing up onto the first slat of the fence and leaning against the top with her belly. “Come on, Ella. Grab some grass. Let’s see if they’ll come over.”

I tugged on a clump of feathery grass growing at the base of the fence. It came up easily, dangling a chunk of moist dirt from the bottom.

“Not the dirt,” Ruby said, laughing. She snatched it out of my hand, banging the clump against the fence so that bits of soil flew in every direction. “See, if we hold it out, they’ll come over.”

Already, three horses were clomping across the field in our direction. I stepped away from the fence as they drew closer. Their footsteps thudded against the dirt and they puffed air out of their noses, shaking their heads as they came over to us.

“Are you sure it’s all right?” I asked.

Ruby leaned over the fence, waving the grass like a flag. “Horses love grass,” she said just as a black horse took the grass from her hand.

It chomped loudly, moving its jaw in a wide circle as it chewed. I’d never seen such a huge creature. If I stepped out and reached my hand through the slats in the fence I would probably be able to lay my hand against its side. The idea was both terrifying and thrilling and without really thinking it through, I moved closer to the fence, reaching my hand out as I went.

My fingertips brushed its fur, and then, before I knew it, my whole palm was pressed against its hot belly. My hand moved with the rise and fall of its breath.

“Do you want to try feeding one?” Ruby asked as she climbed off of the fence, tearing out huge chunks of grass.

She handed over a clump and I grabbed onto the fence, hoisting myself up the way Ruby had. With one hand I gripped the rough wooden slat, while I leaned forward with the other, offering the grass to the nearest taker.

A light-colored horse with a pale white mane and fur the color of dried grass took a step closer to me. It stood still for a second before sniffing my offering with one wet puff. I steadied my hand as it reached out with twitching lips and snatched the grass out of my fingers, happily chomping it up. It switched its tail and lifted its head, looking me right in the eye.

“She likes you,” Ruby said. “I think she wants to be friends with you.”

Behind us, the sound of voices made us turn just in time to see two girls on bikes rounding the corner. Ruby hopped down off of the fence and came to stand next to me, crossing her arms over her chest.