Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller (31 page)

Jenny stared at him, wide-eyed, terrified. ‘What?’

He smiled at her. ‘Get it into your thick head – you were overcome by the power of persuasion.’

Jenny struggled to breathe. ‘You mean you lied?’

Geoff burst into laughter. He’d fooled her well. She looked desperate. ‘I told a few fibs. The photos were real, obviously, but that was a threesome we had before you two went out.’

‘No, Geoff. You’re teasing me. It’s a sick joke. I need you.’ She was becoming hysterical. ‘Don’t say this to me…’

‘Get a fucking grip,’ he said in disgust. ‘I’m out of here, and I will be packing my stuff, but I don’t expect a lift to the airport.’ As he walked to the stairs she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

‘Geoff,’ she squealed, ‘you can’t leave me. I’ll kill myself. I need you!’

He shrugged her off him at the bottom of the stairs. ‘You’re hysterical, bitch. Get away from me.’

Her knees buckled and she collapsed onto them. ‘Help me, Geoff,’ she begged. ‘Help me. I can’t breathe.’

Geoff climbed the stairs, pulled his holdall out of the closet, and then tossed clothes into it. He spoke loudly so she could hear him. ‘You have to realise I don’t give a shit. I’m a cunt and I don’t care.’

Jenny slumped onto the floor.

‘I wanted to break Ben, and fuck you because you’re fit. I only went out with you to fuck you.’

Ten minutes later Geoff dropped his packed bags at the top of the stairs. He walked into the main bedroom and smiled at the huge bed where the perfect love had been consummated.

He descended the stairs, glancing at her as she lay facedown on the floor.

‘You’re in shock, but I don’t give a shit. I’m ecstatic and relieved - talking so much shit was tiring. The end couldn’t have come sooner.’

‘No,’ Jenny whispered.

She whispered it again and again and again.

Then she screamed it till her lungs burned.

Then she thumped her fists on the carpet till she was depleted of strength. She wanted to call her daddy. She wanted him to protect her from herself. He fixed everything. He could fix a broken heart.

35

Physical strength worked in conjunction with the mind. When Ben left the house, he was determined to retain his dignity, but instead he collapsed twice within their view.

He staggered into woodland beside the road and found some comfort in isolation, where he could organise his thoughts and mourn. He sunk into the ground…

He kissed her…

Tasted semen in her mouth…

Geoff’s cum was in her mouth…

Still hiding, distorted evergreens clustered in Ben’s teary eyes. He buried his face in his hands and cried as if he was a child again – sporadic bursts of despair and self-pity rang through the trees. Everything was lost. He’d been dragged back. He would never be free of the memories. He would never again fall in love. He’d turned himself inside out for her…

The world was suffocating and unstable. He was tumbling and there was nothing to break his fall. Nothing had substance. Nothing was true. His mind screamed at him, driving him insane. He squeezed his head with his hands, but the noises persisted, unintelligible voices ranting at him. He rolled onto his back, side, and then the other side.

‘Fuck off!’ he screamed. ‘I can’t take it! I can’t!’

Bitch! Fucking bitch! He’d trusted her, given her everything. He’d spent almost eight years in denial, struggling to block out the past. Meeting her had exposed the futility of those efforts, as it was only then that he felt released. She had banished the nightmare.

They’d had a future, a lifetime to enjoy, memories to make. They were inseparable! His tears moistened the earth. How could this happen? Was it punishment for the crime? His mother had deserved it! The cunt had tortured him, turned him into a nervous wreck. Children should learn about love, trust, loyalty. He had known only fear, pain, and regret for being born! How was it fair that he suffered twice? He had loved Jenny, had discarded his armour for her, opened his soul and embraced life.

What would he do? Where could he go? No one could help him. There was nothing, no point in going on. Before Jenny, he’d been miserable. She had lifted him. Now he would remain broken forever. Something magical he had believed in had alleviated his misery; now he knew magic was false, so he could never be repaired.

He scrunched his body into a ball and let the tears fall…

‘Son, this isn’t on…’

Ben looked up. Will, leaning against a tree, shook his head. Handcuffs bound his wrists together behind his back.

‘Look at ya…It’s a fucking disgrace!’

Embarrassed, Ben turned away.

‘You’re a grown man, for fuck’s sake. Get a grip, she’s just a bitch!’

‘You-you don’t understand, Will,’ Ben stuttered. ‘Karen scarred me and Jenny…made me happy again.’

Will sucked up phlegm and spat at him.

‘If I didn’t have these bastard cuffs on, I’d knock some fucking sense into you! My blood’s in your veins. You had to keep me alive!’

‘I can’t…I couldn’t.’

‘What d’you fucking mean? You forgot about me?’

Ben nodded.

‘You cunt! After all I did for you! I trained you to be self-sufficient!’

‘It didn’t work.’

Will gritted his teeth. ‘I can’t watch this. I’d rather be back inside. You’re a fucking embarrassment, son! I’m ashamed of you. What a waste of good jizz!’

Ben wanted to bury himself in the ground. Will was powerful. Ben needed his support and could feed off his strength.

‘Don’t be ashamed, Will. Try to understand.’

Will laughed. ‘Understand you’re hiding and crying like a girl?’

Ben turned red.

‘You’ve got serious thinking to do. Right now I can’t call you “son”.’ When Will turned his back, Ben could see fresh blood rings on Will’s wrists next to the handcuffs, identical to the wounds he’d seen years ago when Will had been dragged to the police van.

Ben began to panic. Will was a lifeline who would soon be gone.

‘I need you, Will,’ he said, as bravely as he could.

Will stood still. ‘Ah, you need me after you forgot about me.’

‘Will, I need you-’

‘What’s the point? I help you, you abandon me.’

‘Why did you come here?’

‘I wanted to disassociate myself from you. You’re not worthy of the name.’

‘No, Will!’ Ben cried, reaching out for him. ‘I can redeem myself!’

Will faced him again. ‘Can yer? Can yer?’

‘Yes-’

‘How?’

‘By applying the training-’

‘Yes!’ Will roared excitedly. ‘Yes! That’s more like it. There’s nothing new to learn – it’s back to basics.’

Ben nodded uncertainly and then bowed his head.

‘You forgot it, you stupid cunt! And look what would’ve happened if I hadn’t escaped from the digger…’ Mimicking Ben’s visage, Will snivelled, ‘“No point in going on”!’

Ben stared expectantly at him, wiping tears from his face.

‘What is pain?’ Will demanded.

‘Pain is merely the sensation of weakness leaving the body.’ As Ben said this, a surge of strength awoke him.

‘Have you expelled the weakness?’

‘Yes,’ he said resolutely, clenching his fists and staring ahead.

‘Son, you are the victim of an attack. The best form of defence is offence. Who marked you?’

‘Jenny and Geoff.’

Will smiled. ‘Carry on…’

‘They are the enemy.’

Will laughed. ‘Commandment?’

‘Five!’ Ben snapped. ‘Rest when and only when you have hunted down and killed your enemy.’

‘You’ve failed that commandment before, but now that you’re developed there can be no excuses, can there?’

‘No!’ Ben shouted.

‘What’re you waiting for? There he is!’

Ben saw Geoff strutting towards the petrol station on the other side of the road.

‘Drag the cunt here where it’s safe,’ Will ordered him. ‘I wanna watch. And remember – speed, aggression, surprise. Don’t humiliate me again.’

Stealthily, Ben crawled through the undergrowth, searching for a good exit and entrance point. He had to approach Geoff from the rear and pull him into the trees unseen. There were no pedestrians and traffic was very light. If he was seen, he would have to lug the cunt deep into the woods.

He found his spot and waited, close enough to see Geoff’s smile. Shaking with anger, he forced himself to relax. Anger could flourish once he and his prey were concealed in here. If he felt it before then, it would impede him. He would not disappoint Will again.

He emerged from the woods.

Crossed the road.

He kept his composure, resisting the urge to sprint as he closed down on the enemy.

Geoff was turning round when Ben grabbed his hair. Rage suddenly consuming him, he dragged Geoff across the road and into the trees.

Sticks, pinecones and dry grass crunched beneath Ben’s feet as he pulled Geoff, who was kicking out at him.

‘Follow me!’ Will cried, taking the lead and darting between trees.

Geoff swung his fists as Ben yanked at his ponytail, smacking Ben’s thigh so hard that he dropped to the ground.

Will stopped. ‘Knock the cunt out, son, quick!’

Ben climbed on top of Geoff and pounded his face with his fists till Geoff’s eyes stayed shut.

‘Good. Now get your arse in gear!’

Will sprinted off. Ben stood up, pulled at Geoff’s ponytail and then limped after Will, growling as he exhaled, using the adrenaline pumping through his system.

A mile on, Will stopped. ‘Dump him here,’ he ordered.

Ben dropped Geoff and then bent over in exhaustion.

‘Good work, son, we’re safe.’ Will chuckled as he pointed at Geoff. ‘Look – his bag’s still on his fucking shoulder!’

Ben didn’t laugh. He was trembling with hate. ‘I wanna kill him…’

‘Normally I’d go for torture, but time ain’t on our side, so do it!’ Will clapped his hands. ‘Come on, dig in. Show me what you’re made of!’

Ben lifted Geoff clean off the ground and screamed as he drove him into a thick, bare tree trunk. Geoff’s eyes opened and clouded with fear.

‘Ben,’ he whispered. ‘You’re mistaken.’

‘You fucked her,’ Ben roared. ‘Now you’ll die!’

Geoff tried to knee Ben in the balls, but Ben did it to him first and Geoff whined with pain. Ben held his collar with his left hand and then pounded him in the face with his right. Aggression flowed, controlling and avenging him. The cunt had manipulated the stupid bitch, had dared to defy him. No one fucked with him, no one! People must know he was a fucking lunatic. He would suffer no more. This entity of infinite, unbridled fury was what he was. His body shook with excitement when he registered the fear and pain in the cunt’s eyes. The crunch of each punch electrified him. Geoff had broken him, reduced him to a pathetic shadow of himself. Now Geoff was paying for his mistake. Ben would always have justice. This was pleasure, this was life. This was his place. Will roared at him, but Ben ignored him. He needed no one. He dug his fingers around Geoff’s collarbone and rammed him against the tree trunk. Then he did it again, flexing every muscle, using all his power. He wanted to break his spine. He picked Geoff up so that he was horizontal with his back facing the tree, and then ran him into the bark. Though he believed he’d broken his spine, he repeated the manoeuvre to make sure.

When Ben let go of him, Geoff hit the earth and lay still. Ben picked up Geoff’s holdall.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ Will cried.