Personal Jurisdiction (19 page)

“I texted with him a lot,” Whitney said. “He was in New Mexico with his family for Christmas, and he was excited to eat at all of his favorite restaurants there. He kept texting me pictures of random food and saying how it was the best meal he’d had in ages. Judging by the dramatic texts he sent, he had at least ten of the best meals of his life in the last two weeks.”

Elise laughed. “That is so Alex!”

Whitney wondered if Elise was more into Alex than she would admit. It was strangely unsettling to think of Elise and Alex as a couple. They did not seem to fit together, although Whitney had to admit they would be an exceptionally gorgeous duo. Alex was good-looking, and Elise was objectively one of the most beautiful girls Whitney had ever met. Whitney tried to remember if she had ever seen Elise overtly flirting with Alex, but she could not think of a single occasion.

“What about you, Whitney? How was your winter break?” Elise asked, breaking into Whitney’s thoughts.

Whitney shrugged. She did not have much news to report back from Texas. “Eh, it was okay. Just the usual awkward time with my parents. And I found out my ex-boyfriend is now engaged, so that’s always fun.”

“Well, his loss that he didn’t choose you!” Elise said. Elise knew about the Ethan saga, and was dutifully a hater of all things Ethan. “Speaking of boys, did you talk to Ben at all over break?”

“Not really. I texted him ‘Merry Christmas’ and he texted the same thing back, but that was it.” Whitney had updated Elise and Jamie by text about Ben’s apology at the bar after finals, but had not had a chance to talk to them in person about it until now. “I don’t want to push things too quickly. I don’t know if that’s why he got scared off last time.”

“I say make it clear that you’re interested,” Elise said. “I think he apologized because he wants you back, but he was feeling too guilty and embarrassed to say that directly.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Or maybe he wants to be just friends and that was his way of telling me,” Whitney said.

“Honestly, Whitney, I think you can do better,” Jamie piped in. “I think Ben is an okay guy, but he needs to get his shit together and decide what he wants. He clearly has not done that. I mean, yes, he’s gorgeous. But there are a lot of guys at this school, and in Chicago in general, who are good-looking. Don’t just settle for Ben because he’s a good piece of eye-candy.”

“Oh, come on, Jamie! I don’t just like Ben for his hot ass. He’s a great guy. He’s smart, he’s funny, and he’s nice!”

“Oh really?” Jamie challenged, not willing to let this go so easily. “There are a lot of other cute, smart, funny guys out there. And I’m going to disagree with you on the ‘Ben’s nice’ line.”

Whitney crossed her arms. “He
is
nice.”

“I don’t think so. I think he used you. You’ve admitted yourself that the thought has crossed your mind. He was only interested in you during midterms because he slacked off and was behind in his notes. He needed help from someone who was smart and would have detailed notes to share.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Whitney said. “He didn’t have to go as far as trying to sleep with me if he just wanted study notes.”

“Here we go again,” Elise said, dropping her head down on the table in frustration.

“Look, I’m just trying to watch out for you,” Jamie said. “I think you have better options.”

Whitney crossed her arms in defiance. She was angry that Jamie had accused Ben of using her, but all of her friends had accused Ben of this since midterms. If Whitney was honest, she remembered the occasions the possibility had nagged at her, too. But Ben had since apologized and explained that he was overwhelmed, and Whitney had chosen to believe him. She did not want to keep rehashing the theory that Ben just wanted her study notes. He was a good guy and she liked him. It was her friends’ job to be supportive.

“So, not to change the subject or anything, but have either of you applied for any summer jobs yet?” Elise asked. Obviously, the point was to change the subject. Whitney was fine with that. She was tired of defending Ben.

“I’ve sent out a few applications, but I’m probably going to end up at the same nonprofit where I worked before law school. They said they would create an internship for me in their legal department. They’re just working out the details right now,” Jamie said.

“That’s awesome!” Elise said, then sighed. “I applied to firms, but we all know how rare it is for them to give summer jobs to first year law students. I’ve been applying for internships with government agencies, too.”

When Whitney did not say anything, Jamie prompted her. “What about you, Whitney?”

“Um, I haven’t started applying yet.”

“Really?” Elise asked, looking a little worried. “You know that the earlier you apply the better. The best jobs go quickly.”

“I know. But I don’t know what I want to do next summer,” Whitney said. How could she tell them that between trying to sort through her feelings about Ben and her feelings about not fitting in with the elite law school crowd, she had been too busy to think about what kind of summer job she might want to find? She knew they would not consider that an acceptable excuse, and they were right. It was not.

“The longer you wait to decide and apply, the fewer choices you are going to have,” Elise said. “You’re already too late to have a shot at a job with a large law firm. Everyone who is serious about those jobs applied at the beginning of December.”

“I know,” Whitney said. “But I probably won’t have the grades to work at a firm this summer, and I definitely don’t have the right kind of experience on my résumé for it. I feel like applying for those jobs would just be a waste of my time.”

“So you’re not even going to try? With an attitude like that you won’t get any job. And besides, you have no idea what your grades are yet. They could very well be amazing.”

Every topic of conversation at brunch today was grating on Whitney’s nerves. Elise and Jamie were both giving her advice like they understood what was best for her and what she was capable of doing. But they did not understand. Elise sat across from Whitney with perfectly tan skin and designer clothes. Jamie had an unlimited credit card line with her parents, and did not even have to work to find a job. She was using the perfect job she had before law school to get an easy internship. They acted like they were more adult than she was just because they had more resources than her. Whitney had had enough.

“I’m not like you guys! I don’t have a strong educational background. I’m up against a bunch of people who went to Ivy Leagues, so I doubt my grades are going to fall at the top of the curve. And I just don’t know how to handle this world of overly competitive jobs. You guys have been brought up to understand the game since you were young. You know how to network, and how to perfectly polish a résumé and cover letter. I don’t know how to do any of that! No one ever taught me! My parents want me to stay home and pop out babies, so the only skills they ever taught me were how to clean a house and bake cupcakes.” Whitney finished her tirade and started fishing in her purse for her wallet. She wanted to go home.

Elise looked hurt, and gestured to herself and Jamie. “Whitney,
we
are trying to help you now. I’m sorry your parents are unsupportive. And, yes, some people here have advantages in their background or bank account. But not everyone. Don’t think everything is automatically easy for me. Even the people who seem to have it all together have their own challenges to face. Life’s not perfect for anyone. We all get dealt shitty hands now and then, some more than others. Don’t give up on the game before you’ve even tried to play it.”

Whitney threw some cash down on the table. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Whitney,” Jamie started. But Whitney just shook her head.

“Don’t you two get it? I’m not like you. And I feel like everything I do is wrong to someone. I should find someone other than Ben to like. I don’t apply for jobs soon enough. My parents think I should not even be in law school. Everyone in my life thinks I’m a failure for some reason or another, and I’m tired of it.”

“Whitney, it’s not like that,” Jamie tried again. Elise just stared at her with a hurt expression on her face.

“I’m sorry. I need some time.” Whitney stood and left the restaurant. She realized her friendship with Elise and Jamie was one of the best things she had in her life right now, and she was jeopardizing it by walking away. But she could not stop herself. She remembered her resolution to be more confident and felt a pang of guilt and regret. This was not a good start to the year. She was getting defensive about the advice her friends gave her because she felt insecure, and she knew it. She considered going back and apologizing, but her pride would not let her. She kept marching forward in the January cold toward her bus stop.

A few moments later, she heard Elise’s voice calling her name. She stopped walking, but did not turn around, and Elise caught up with her, breathless from running.

“What are you doing, Whitney?” Elise asked, her voice sharp. Whitney was surprised. She had never heard Elise sound genuinely angry.

“What do you mean?” Whitney asked, evading the question.

“You know what I mean! Look, I know sometimes things are tough for you. I know this is a different world for you. But you have to decide whether you want this or not. You can’t keep running away every time someone says something that reminds you that you have a little less money or a little less professional experience than them.

“A lot less,” Whitney corrected her.

“Whatever. The point is, you’re here now. Either be here, or don’t. Jamie and I both love you. We think you’re awesome. Otherwise we wouldn’t hang out with you. We’re not friends with you because we think you’re some kind of charity case. We’re friends with you because we like you. So stop acting like every time we give you advice it’s because we’re trying to look down on you. We’re giving you advice because we’re friends, and that’s what friends do. If you don’t like our advice, then don’t take it. But stop thinking that every suggestion we make is some sort of personal dig at how little money you have.” Elise stood in the middle of the busy Chicago sidewalk, with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows furrowed in anger. Pedestrians stared at them as they walked by, curious what this little catfight might be about.

Whitney did not know what to say. Elise was right, and Whitney knew it. Whitney had to get over the feeling that everyone else thought they were better than her. If she was going to make good on her resolution to be confident this year, she needed to get rid of her inferiority complex and stop running away every time she felt out of place. She made eye contact with Elise, who was waiting impatiently for Whitney’s response.

“Okay,” Whitney said. “I’m sorry. I know you guys are just trying to help me.”

Elise nodded, her angry expression softening.

“You guys are awesome, too,” Whitney said.

Elise smiled and reached out to give Whitney a hug. “Come on. Jamie wants to go do something fun before the semester starts and things get crazy again. I think we’re going to check out the aquarium. I don’t care what else you have planned today. You’re coming with us.”

Elise linked her arm with Whitney’s and started walking back in the direction of the restaurant. Whitney took a deep breath and smiled. She was starting to think that if she got nothing else out of this law degree, that meeting Elise and Jamie had been worth it.

Although tension at the law school had been high during finals, it was nothing compared to the days before grades came out. Grades would be posted to the online system sometime on the Wednesday after the spring semester began. That Wednesday, most of the students walked to and from their classes with grim looks on their faces. The news that they would receive in the next few hours would have a defining effect on their legal careers. In the world of big firm hiring, grades were King.

Lincoln was particularly tense. Although the group—Whitney, Elise, Jamie, Lincoln, Alex and Ben—had all made sure to sit together in all of their classes this semester, Whitney had been careful not to sit directly next to Lincoln in any class. She did not want to repeat the agony of last semester where she was right next to his incessant typing for several hours a day. Lincoln had given up his suit-wearing habit, at least, and joined the hoodie-and-jeans wearing ranks. Presumably, this was because their class with Professor Neals was over and Lincoln no longer needed to impress the Professor every day. There was a new group of professors for the spring semester, but the law students did not fear them the same way they had feared their professors the first semester. Terrified awe had given way to annoyed disdain toward Professors who insisted on harsh interrogations of students.

Whitney also avoided sitting directly next to Ben. She decided that a little bit of safe distance between them was the best bet right now. She ended up sitting between Alex and Elise in all of her classes.

When classes ended on Wednesday, grades still had not been posted. Whitney went home right after class and opened the bottle of wine she still had leftover from Thanksgiving, with the frog in a top hat on the label. She had a lot of reading to do for her classes on Thursday, but she could not bear to think about anything related to law right now. She switched on Netflix and settled in with some reheated leftovers to catch up on her latest favorite TV show. After two episodes her phone buzzed with a text from Elise, that simply said, “
OMG, OMG, OMG!”
Whitney went to grab her laptop. That text could only mean that grades had been posted. She pulled up her student account, a nervous feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She almost did not want to look, but she knew she would not be able to sleep until she did.